A/N: Sorry for the late update. This one really isn't a funny chapter, but it's got a good bit of fighting. For those of you who've played Return to Castle Wolfenstein, I hope you enjoy the setting. I tried my best.

Over the next few days, nothing eventful happened, save for the fact that Alucard reverted into his male default and went on a rampage after having just been able to get Anderson to stab the former 'her' with holy bayonets. Fortunately, Alucard was subdued by his master and confined to their room until further notice. Right now however, everyone was resting quietly in their rooms. (Except for Luke and Yumie) Hansa's sensitive ears picked up the noise and she growled softly, trying to push the thought from her head. Schrodinger sat up on the opposite side of the couch and his ear twitched.

"You heard zem as vell?" he asked. Hansa nodded slightly.

"Zey von't shut ze fuck up. Ugh! God, it's too hot here! I vant to go home!" the werewolf howled with frustration. Seras poked her head out of the bedroom and furrowed her brow.

"Oh, don't go home Hansa! If you go, then everyone else'll go and I'll have to go home!" she whined. Hansa sighed.

"Zat's not vhat I meant. I vant to go home, back to my real home, in Germany, just for a vhile."

"Oh, that sounds like it would be fun. But…wouldn't it still be hot there?" Seras questioned. Hansa smirked.

"It's in Europe. My homeland is covered in snow right now, but here there's none. I vould like to visit my actual home for once. It's been over sixty years you know." Schrodinger stretched out his body along the length of the couch and let out something between a yelp and a cat meow. He flushed scarlet and immediately covered his mouth. Hansa broke out into laughter and Seras giggled softly. Schrodigner teleported away and teleported back in a few seconds. He had a wide grin on his face.

"Ze Major says you can go home today," he exclaimed, holding his index finger up in a 'eureka' manner. Hansa immediately stood up and grabbed his arm, but Schrodinger didn't teleport. He let out a chuckle and waved Seras over. She quickly scampered over to him and grabbed his arm as well.

"Alright shrimp, let's go," Hansa commanded. Schrodinger shook his head.

"I can bring whoever I vant. Rip vants to go too, right Rip?" he called out. In a few seconds, Rip strolled in, dressed out in her uniform and wearing her swastika pendant. Hansa grabbed her greatcoat and dressed out as well. Only Seras wore casual clothes, a shirt and shorts. Apparently she had ignored the fact that Hansa had pointed out, that it was snowing in Germany. Schrodinger grabbed Rip's hand and the four teleported away to Germany, the rural eastern border to be precise. When the four arrived, Seras immediately shivered.

"Yay! Ve're back in ze Fazerland!" Rip exclaimed, twirling about in the light snowfall, arms raised to the sky in a gleeful manner. Hansa was probably happier to be home, but didn't show much for it. Schrodinger seemed indifferent to see his actual homeland, probably because Brasil had been his home for the better part of his life. In Germany, he'd only spent his early months in a lab and then been shipped to Brasil with the rest of Millennium and the Nazi command. But, he looked happy enough to be here.

Hansa looked around for a moment, trying to find the path that led to her old home. It was rather difficult to find in the snow, but then again, since when had she failed to find it? She'd come back more than a few times before, and every time Schrodinger missed the mark by a few miles. She didn't understand what having powers of teleportation did for the boy if he couldn't get the right place on his first try!

"Come on, I'll take us zer," Hansa said, transforming into her giant wolf form. She lay down in the snow and Schrodinger clambered onto her back, along with Rip and Seras. Hansa stood back up and sniffed the ground for a moment, trying to find some trace of her previous trail home. And after a few moments of sniffing furiously at the ground, she found the trail and the right back. She leaned back and then took off in full sprint, not even caring to find the trail again. She already knew that she was going the right way, and of course she wouldn't miss the place. It was a small castle after all. How could she not spot it?!

And when she finally did spot it, her three passengers were almost thrown off as she broke into a sprint and began to pant heavily with excitement. She was finally home! It had been nearly a decade since she'd returned to Castle Wolfenstein. She grinned happily and leapt up the path to the castle, jumping on top of the four-towered gatehouse and setting a giant paw on each of them. She stepped off and was in a slow run the rest of the way, dodging past sixty-year-old defenses from World War II. The castle wasn't completely abandoned though…unknown to the four entering it.

A/N: Yes, I know that Castle Wolfenstein is located in the Alps, but it fits my story better if it's in Germany.

Hansa shook off her companions at the front gate and transformed back into her human form, picking up her comrades before she turned back to the castle. It had been a great many years since she'd roamed the halls at night, and it felt good to be back. There was a certain familiarity to this place that she couldn't ever forget. She pushed on the large gate and it slowly opened just enough for the werewolf to slip inside. The other three followed her quickly and Seras gasped when she got used to the darkness.

"There's bones here Hansa!" she cried, cowering behind Rip, who grabbed a large halberd from one of the statues to her right. She put it over her shoulders like she usually did her rifle. She smiled at Seras and perked up.

"Zat's because an American named Villiam B.J. Blackovits vas captured and imprisoned here. But he broke out und killed ze defenders, and eventually ze undead zat Himmler had managed to raise. He even killed Heinrich ze First."

"Who's that?" Seras ased dumbly. Hansa grabbed a large Danish axe from a suit of armor and stepped back, gripping the steel handle of the weapon tightly. She growled softly at the darkened hallway before her.

"He vas a varlord of Germany und vanted to conquer all of Europe. He still has a few trick up his sleeve," she said. Immediately, something shifted out of the darkness and screeched at the 'intruders' to the castle. Hansa swung the axe like a whirlwind and hacked the thing in half. Unfortunately, whatever it was, managed to drag itself back into the darkness and hiss out of earshot. Hansa grabbed the half of its body that hadn't left and held it up for Seras and the others to see.

"Is that…a person?!" Seras asked worriedly. Hansa tossed the lower half of a corpse at the draculina and she squealed with terror, holding Schrodigne rin front of her as they both cowered behind Rip. The sharpshooter tapped the thing with her foot and shrugged.

"Don't vorry. It's dead you guys."

"That's not why I'm scared!" Seras yelled. Rip glanced back.

"Zen vhat?"

"You saw that thing pull itself back into the darkness, right? It's not human!" Seras cried, shivering with fear behind Schrodinger. The cat boy put his hand to his chin and thought for a moment.

"Zat could have been one of ze Ubersoldaten created here during ze var. Hmmm…or it could be one of ze undead, or somezing else," the boy mused. Hansa smacked the top of his head with the flat of her axe and growled at him. He was making jokes about a home-invasion by undead and unwanted guests. Not only that, but they were in her home, not just a random person's castle. Hansa was rather angry at these undead. They didn't die like all the rest did after the war.

So Hansa shouldered her weapon and looked around for a light. She found an unlit torch and quickly struck up a flame, holding the torch in one hand and the Danish axe in the other. She motioned for the others to follow, but Seras and Schrodinger were far too petrified to follow. So Hansa left them where they stood and Rip stayed to guard the two. Hansa delved deeper into the ancient castle, torch held out before her. She suddenly found that she was following a thick trail of crimson blood…fresh blood. It drew her hunting senses out and her fangs flashed out, her eyes turning yellow.

She followed the blood trail deep within the castle and eventually found the one who had created it, indeed, one of the supersoldiers that Himmler had created here. The man was breathing heavily, trying to drag himself across the floor for a final escape. But Hansa wasn't about to let that happen. So she swung her axe down and cleaved the soldier into pieces, relishing the dying screams that he let out before going limp. Hansa withdrew her axe from the corpse and turned around, unexpectedly finding that there were three more supersoldiers, two of them with MP40s and one with a flame thrower.

Hansa threw her torch at them and swung the axe. The flame thrower launched a jet stream of fire at the werewolf, but she managed to dodge safely enough. She hit the two soldiers to the right and cleaved them into pieces. She shoved the haft of her axe through the flame thrower's chest and the soldier let out a cry in pain before being pinned to the wall and dying. Hansa's torch went out as it landed in a pool of blood, leaving the werewolf in complete darkness. She looked around, her night vision able to let her see effectively enough here. She picked up the two MP40s and made her way do the hallway again, holding both guns forward.

She turned the corner and found a locked door, which was soon an unhinged door as she kicked it in. The lycanthrope stepped into the room and looked around to see if there were any more invaders here. After finding no trace of any humans, she walked back out of the room, only to come face to face with a monster. Actually, there were over a dozen of them. All of them looked like patchwork creatures with deformed heads and arms as thick as Hansa was around. The things had the bottom halves of their bodies gone, in place were devices that emitted bolts of electricity.

Hansa hosed down the lead one with her machine guns, but they seemed to do very little against it. Most of the bullets actually bounced off if its hide. The werewolf growled and was suddenly shocked with enough voltage to fry a human being. She struggled to stand and hosed the things down again, but there were more behind it. She managed to score a few lucky hits in its eyes and its gaping, jawless mouth. The creature fell forward and the next one in line jumped over it.

Hansa ran out of ammunition quickly and threw the weapons at her opponent, which batted them away with one arm. It began to 'walk' towards her, more electricity skipping across the floor towards her. This time, Hansa ran the opposite direction in a sprint. No way in hell she was going face-to-face with anything like that! Even though she could go into wolf form, she would destroy her home, and she would get shocked to a crisp. Even the axe was useless, seeing as the haft of it was made of steel, a very good conductor for electricity. All she needed now was a stronger gun.

So Hansa went in search of a new gun, something stronger than an MP40 anyway. She didn't understand why such bulky armored soldiers had such puny weapons, but it didn't do much for her to worry about it. She kicked in a few doors, only earning her more foes to slay, such as a few more ssupersoldiers and a few with gas masks on. She had yet to find one that actually had a good weapon.

Eventually, Hansa found herself in the bottom of the castle with little else to do than hide. She now had about ten of those no-legged monsters chasing her about and three undead zombies, who kept shooting skulls of some sort at her and draining her strength. She was worn out, and still refused to change into her wolf form. She ripped open a few crates and finally found a decent weapon, a Sten Gun. She loaded it up with a full clip and turned around, only to find that there were no more creatures chasing her. Instead, there were five supersoldiers, all armed with tubes of some sort. Behind them were two soldiers, of much smaller stature, armed with miniguns. Hansa backed up and aimed her weapon, pulling the trigger. She hosed down two of the supersoldiers before they fired back, and the result was desastating.

Hansa hadn't expected them t be wielding guns that could shoot lighting at her. Even if she could regenerate most wounds, this hurt like a thousand needles piercing her gut. Hansa fell to the floor and barely managed to stay conscious long enough to see a woman step out from behind the soldiers.

"Oh, what is this? You've survived the tesla gun? I suppose we could have a little fun with you," she said. Hansa only managed to get out a growl before she passed out on the floor.

Meanwhile, the other three were trying to survive a battle of their own. Seras lashed out with her shadow arm and dismembered yet another masked soldier with a minigun. Schrodinger laughed maniacally as he held a flamethrower in each hand and yelled 'burn, burn' out at the top of his lungs. Rip happily sniped several of the huge armored soldiers with a sniper rifle she'd found. Seras was none too happy to be stuck with a Mauser C96 and her own shadow arm. She had wished for a heavy weapon like she was used to, but alas, it was not to be so.

She fired off three rounds and blew off another soldier's head before the rest fell back down the hallway. Seras was frustrated now and stomped down the hallway with Schrodinger and Rip behind her, covering the rear. Where in the hell was Hansa?! They'd been looking for her for the past half an hour and still found only a dead monster with no legs to prove that she had been here at all! The draculina fumed, and that's when Schrodinger's ears perked up and he stopped immediately, lowering his weapons. He looked around absentmindedly for a few seconds before turning back down the hallway and putting on a grim look.

"Hansa's in trouble," he stated.

"That's impossible Schrodigner. She's a werewolf. How could she possibly be losing?"

"She's in ze dungeon. Ve need to hurry!" Schrodinger cried, grabbing both of the vampires and teleporting to the dungeon. Seras checked the area for enemies, but could only find two dead supersoldiers. Schrodinger rushed down the hallway as fast as he could and Seras followed, Rip loping behind them with an evil glint in her eyes. She really was a sharpshooter.

As they neared a big stone door, Schrodinger phased out of existence and teleported into the room behind the door. Seras used her vampiric strength to kick the doors down. Rip stayed back a few feet, as every good sharpshooter would. Seras peered into the room, dimly illuminated by a large pentagram in the center with a woman lying in the middle of it, chained to the floor. Seras immediately recognized the woman as Hansa and became enraged. She dropped her gun and went into bloodlust mode, a huge fan of black blades appearing from her left arm. Her fangs were longer than before, and her right hand was clawed.

Schrodinger scorched the defenders with a few war cried in German, but Seras was most occupied with three woman that stood over Hansa, chanting something out of a big tome of sorts. Seras lunged half way across the room at them, but a creature that shot electricity moved into her path and threw her back with a concentrated bolt of the stuff. It didn't stop Seras for long, and she tore it apart easily. She headed for the pentagram again, but this time she was stopped by a blinding red light that enveloped the three women and Hansa. Seras batted away at the red light, but it held against her and she failed to help Hansa.

There was a horrifying scream and then Seras staggered back, holding her hands over her ears to help dissipate the noise. After that had died down, there was deep, bellowing laughter that Seras thought faintly mimicked her Master's when he was blowing the living…life out of vampires with his gun. The red light faded away, leaving Seras to realize that all of the soldiers had been slain by Rip and Schrodinger. The only person left was a huge man in medieval armor with a large golden dragon on the front of his breastplate.

He had scraggly black hair and a beard to match. His skin was a disgusting green color and rotting away, leaving patches of dark brown muscle beneath, filled with maggots and worms. The man held in one hand a large kite shield with a spike on the center of it. It was covered in blood and gore. In his right hand, he held what seemed to be a large one-handed axe with a spike opposite of the axe blade. The huge man turned to Seras and flashed a rotten, shit-eating grin at her. He dropped his shield in favor of something else, rather that be someone else.

He held up Hansa by her blonde hair with his rotting left hand and looked at her, almost in a curious kind of way.

"You're not as vile as the last woman who resurrected me. But I suppose I can use you in all the same ways," he said, sticking out a serpentine tongue to lick her jaw line. Hansa slowly blinked in confusion, waking up from something of a shock-induced coma. She looked around, and upon finding that there was a long, disgusting tongue licking her, she blew a gasket. Hansa ripped off the man's arm and threw it against the wall. It instantly rotted away into nothing more than dust.

"GET ZE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!" she roared, not caring at all that there were corpses lining the floor all around her. She punched the armored man with an uppercut that had so much force, the man crashed into the ceiling, about ten more, and then out of the castle's roof. And then he crashed down through about ten floors, came through the ceiling, and Hansa roundhouse kicked him into the wall. The man made a final grasp at life, but it was in vain as his flesh rotted away and his bones turned into dust. Hansa stomped over to the pile of dust and kicked it until it was spread out across the floor, fuming with anger.

And the moment she was through, the castle began to shake and pieces of the stonework above began to fall through the large hole in the ceiling. Schrodinger grabbed all three women and teleported them outside the castle. Hansa sat down on the ground and cursed darkly as her ancient home collapsed in on itself, years of scientific work and all sorts of ancient antiques crushed beneath tons of stonework and masonry. Hansa muttered and cursed for a few minutes before standing up. Schrodinger teleported everyone out of the snow and back into the room they had started in.

Hansa let go of Schrodinger and walked out of the room. Out of curiosity, Seras followed the werewolf to the Major's room. Hansa knocked lightly on the door and the Major answered with his trademark on his face.

"Gutenta-"

"YOU DIDN'T GET RID OF ZE MOZERFUCKING TROOPS LIKE YOU SAID YOU VOULD!!!" Hansa roared a him so loud that the man's hair was blown back. The Major's grin left his face and he took on a stern look.

"Capt-"
"BUILD ME A NEW FUCKING CASTLE! OR I'LL SEE JUST HOW FAR I CAN KICK YOUR HEAD OFF YOUR SHOULDERS!!!" she roared, this time knocking the Major over. Hansa slammed the door in the Major's face and stomped back to her room, flopping down on the couch and letting out a deep, frustrated sigh. Schrodinger sat down on the floor next to her and tilted his head to the side.

"Zo…do you vant anysing right now Hansa?" The werewolf looked over at Schrodinger and laughed.

"I vant…I vant a nice hot bath und tickets to ze zoo," she managed to say before getting up and walking into the bathroom. Seras sat down next to Schrodinger and he looked up at her, a confused look on his face.

"She didn't hit me zis time," he said in an astounded tone. Seras rubbed his head and smiled.

"Maybe you're getting better about that," she said. Unfortunately, when Hansa reappeared behind Schrodinger with an empty bottle of Shampoo in her hand, the cat boy was proven wrong. Hansa put her hand on the top of his head, scratched behind his ears, and then crushed it into a million little pieces. After that, she went back into the bathroom, leaving Seras with an almost headless Schrodinger lying in her lap. She sighed. Maybe he's not getting better about it after all. Oh well, at least he didn't do anything perverted this time. Schrodinger reformed in Seras' lap and smiled.

"Her castle vas infested vit ze undead after all. And by ze looks of it, she seems to be back to normal."

"So is mine," Seras replied absentmindedly. Rip stood next to them, a questioning look on her face.

"Vait…zo she just kills you regularly?" she asked. Schrodinger nodded and Rip kicked the back of his head in, grinning her trademark evil grin. The tuff of hair that stuck off of the top of her head suddenly became more defined. She laughed evilly, a glint of bloodlust in her eyes.

"Vait!" Schrodinger cried. Rip took him by the neck and cracked his spine, only to have him reform again in front of her.

"Zis is for every little perverted thing you ever did to me!" she she-vamp roared, stomping Schrodinger into mush. Seras simply watched as the boy was torn to pieces over, and over, and over, and over again. And so killing Schrodinger became a regular thing for Millennium. In fact, it was almost like a new pastime for the vampires of Millennium form then on. And after watching something get slain a thousand times over, Hansa's mood actually improved. Of course, the fact that it was Schrodinger had absolutely nothing to do with it. That was simply an added bonus!