Because Hansa was still in a bad mood the next day and tickets to the zoo were completely and utterly sold out, Seras, Alucard, Pip, Rip, Heinkel, Luke, and Yumiko got together to help her. They all gathered in Integra's room and sat down in a circle on the floor, brainstorming on ideas to get the werewolf's mood to improve. It wasn't like it was their fault for her castle being destroyed, but they still needed to do something. If they didn't get Hansa happy again, then the vacation would surely end! She was the only reason the Major had initiated this whole thing from the start!

"Does anyone have an idea yet?" Seras asked, tapping her fingers together. Pip grinned.

"Maybe I could-" Everyone glared at him simultaneously.

"NO!" was the joint response. Pip folded his arms across his chest and grumbled about them being French-haters.

"How about a shoot-out?" Heinkel suggested. Seras thought it was a good idea, as did Luke and Yumiko.

"Nope, he's tired of shooting things for a while. After you guys told me about that fiasco at the wolf's house, I doubt he'd want to shoot anything for a while," Alucard said, blowing the idea out of the sky faster than a Luftwaffe over London.

"How about something with costumes?" Rip offered up. Alucard made a leer.

"Maybe we could get Pip in a French maid outfit," he said. Everyone looked at Pip and he glared back at them, crunching a cigarette between his teeth. He turned his eye to Alucard.

"Why me, you Wallachian ass?"

"Because it's more authentic if we have someone who's French wear the outfit," he shot back. Luke sighed.

"I got an idea," he said nervously. Yumiko hugged him and put her head on his shoulder.

"What is it?" she asked. Alucard gagged.

"Bleh! Love, I'm outta here. You two make me sick," he said, sinking through the floor. Baskerville was left in his place, the six-eyed dog's resting his shadowed head on Rip's leg. The vampire scratched behind his ears as she listened to Luke's sudden spark of genius.

"Well, the costume idea could work. But there's only one way it would work," he said. Everyone leaned in.

"Who?" Seras asked. Luke smirked.

"Which one of the guys on this vacation looks the most feminine?"

"Zat's easy! Schrodinger!" Rip answered. Luke nodded.

"Now all we need to do is find some costumes…" After a few moments of hard thinking, Baskerville's eyes closed and a black shadow blob formed on the floor, quickly reforming back into a human form with a larger fedora and red coat. Alucard flipped out his orange sunglasses and put them on.

"Anyone order a set of Nazi Youth-sized costumes?" Heinkel stood up and Alucard opened up his coat, revealing practically an entire cosplay shop's worth of costumes. She grabbed a few and looked at them oddly for a few seconds. She then turned around and held the two costumes she had picked out in front of her. Everyone began to laugh.

"What is this crap? Are we really gonna make that kid wear this stuff?" she asked. Seras covered her mouth and drummed her heels on the floor to keep from laughing. The now-hostile Yumie chuckled at the costumes.

"When you're done with those, can I have some? Luke would look so cute in the left one," she said. Luke's eyes went wide.

"WAT?!"

Later that day, Hansa was trying to sleep in her bed, frustrated at the fact that she couldn't sleep here. She was sad that her home had been destroyed, but more so about her condition. This was fun and all, but eventually, she would have to transformed back into a man. This vacation was up until the castle incident, the best time she'd had in decades. But it was something bittersweet due to the fact that she had to enjoy it as something she wasn't at heart. Right now, she just wanted to be normal again, to have her mind and her body on the same wavelength.

Hansa sighed and rolled over on her bed, slamming her fists down on the sheets.

"Wvy can't I sleep?!"

"Because you don't have anyvon to cuddle up to," Schrodinger replied from the balcony off to the right of the bedroom. Hansa sat up and got out of bed, opening the glass sliding door to stand out on the balcony with him. The cat boy smiled up at her as he leaned back and unbuttoned his shirt. Hansa rolled her eyes and he feigned being hurt.

"Missed your target," Hansa scoffed. Schrodinger shrugged slightly.

"At least I tried." Hansa leaned back as well and stared at the sky, watching three clouds floating lazily across the sky. Schrodinger smirked.

"You vanted to go to ze zoo because you could go see ze volves, right?"

"Yeah. I need somezing to cheer me up right now. After my house…after ze entire castle falling, I'm not in much of a mood to be happy."

"Well then how about you come out here and let us do something nice for you?" a voice suggested from the bedroom doorway. Both animal-eared Nazis looked to the doorway and found Seras standing in it with Alucard behind her. She beckoned for the werewolf to come to the door, and so Hansa walked over to her, being abruptly pulled into the main room by Rip, Heinkel, Luke, Yumie, and Pip. They sat her down on the couch and everyone else sat down on the floor. Hansa was a bit confused, but went with it. And after a bit of yelling from the bedroom, a shriek in terror, and a lot of grumbling, Alucard walked back out and sat down on the floor as well.

Seras then walked out of the bedroom and a leer that resembled her master's very closely. She held her hand out to the bedroom door.

"And now, we have our very own cosplay master, Schrodinger!" she announced. Everyone clapped, and Hansa clapped slowly, still confused. What kind of cosplay was this? Certainly Schrodinger wasn't going to do what she thought he was going to do?

"C'mon already!" Alucard Growled.

"Schrodinger, come out here," Seras whispered furiously.

"Nein! Vhy do I have to vear zis?"

"Because you're the only one it looks funny on," the draculina replied. After a few seconds, Seras grabbed him and pulled him out into the open. Hansa's eyes went as wide as the cat boy's and Schrodinger flushed as red as a rose. The cat boy was wearing (Probably involuntarily) a French maid outfit and had a feather duster in his hand. Seras pushed him forward lightly and the boy blushed redder.

Everyone broke out into a horrific cacophony of laughter all at the same time. Pip fell back against the couch and his eye began to water. He held his stomach with his free hand and simply laughed. Alucard even let out a dark chuckle, getting some sort of sick satisfaction out of this in a way. Heinkel was drumming her heels on the floor. Yumie and Luke were practically crying they were laughing so hard. Rip was rolling around on the floor, holding a hand over her mouth to keep from making too much noise. Hansa stifled a laugh before it could snowball. Seras pushed Schrodinger back into the bedroom and after about a minute, she pulled him back out.

"This time, we have our naughty cowgirl Schrodinger," she said, giggling like a schoolgirl. This time, Schrodinger was dressed in a denim skirt and checkered panties. He also had a bandana tied across his chest and a cowboy hat on. He wore cowboy boots, pink cowboy boots in fact. He held a real revolver in his hand. His face was still as red as it could possibly get. This time, everyone busted out in a chorus of laughter, and even Hansa began to laugh this time. It was just too funny. Schrodinger was in a cowgirl costume!!!

Seras pushed him back into the room and then Schrodinger cried out.

"Vhat?! How can I wear zat?! It von't even fit!" There was much clattering and shuffling in the bedroom, and then Baskerville trotted in and everything went silent save for the ruffling of clothes. Baskerville trotted back out and sat down on the floor next to his master. Alucard now waited, a scowl on his face. Hansa was even interested in what was next. There was a small clatter, and then Seras pushed Schrodinger out for everyone to see. They all went wild when they saw him.

Schrodinger was dressed this time in a school girl's uniform and Seras had somehow given him pigtails big enough to cover his furry ears. His shirt looked too tight for him, and the miniskirt Seras had put him in revealed that he was wearing panties with stripes on them. Schrodinger's lip quivered and he rubbed his knees together, thigh-high stockings rubbing together as well. Hansa burst into a fit of laughter and held her sides. Schrodinger whimpered with embarrassment, the blush on his face ever present.

"C'mon, let's try on another one," Seras commanded, grabbing the cat boy by his pigtails and dragging him back into the bedroom. She laughed maniacally and there was a loud series of ripping noises before she came back out, dragging Schrodinger by the collar. He was dressed out in what looked like a carbon copy of Seras' yellow uniform, only a downsized version of it. Schrodinger whimpered as everyone laughed again. And after everyone was sufficiently laughed out, Seras took him back for another wardrobe change. This time, they saw the torso of a shirtless Schrodinger clawing at the floor to get out of the bedroom.

"NO! DON'T MAKE ME DO IT!!!" he cried. Baskerville trotted inside of the room and there was snarling and growling, only to be followed by Schrodinger latching onto the doorway. After a few more seconds of fighting, the wall tore and Schrodinger let out an blood-curdling cry in terror. Baskerville once again trotted back out and sat down next to Alucard. Moments after that, Seras pushed Schrodinger out of the room, and everyone was completely silent.

"And here we have a birthday present for Hansa. Schrodinger, tell her happy birthday." The cat boy was now literally wrapped as a present. But the only thing on his body was a long, winding red ribbon that ended wrapped around his neck and tied into a bow. There was a bow tied in his hair as well.

"H-happy birthday, Hansa," he said quietly. Everyone burst out into a chorus of laughter, but Hansa stayed silent. She looked into Schrodinger's pink eyes and he turned his gaze away from her. But she had seen it. He really did want to be her present! Hansa smirked and Seras dragged Schrodinger back into the room again. This time, he was pushed out in something that made even Hansa blush.

Schrodinger was wearing her combat boots, a pair of her socks, and her tanktop. Other than that, he had nothing on. He pulled the front of the tanktop down to cover himself and flushed madly red. Everyone laughed, but Hansa felt a little sorry for him. This had cheered her up quite a bit, but now Schrodinger was really getting embarrassed. Hansa smiled at him and stood up, grabbing Pip and Alucard by the collars. She smiled at Seras and the draculina nodded, an evil grin spreading across her face. She threw Pip into the room and held up Alucard, who leered at her.

"You wanna see me in that cowgirl outfit, doncha?" he questioned.

"You're zo eager Alucard. But I have ozer things in mind. Be Pip's costume." Pip and Alucard looked back and forth between each other and Hansa. But as soon as Hansa smirked, Alucard got the biggest grin anyone had ever seen him have upon his face.

"Oh, this is gonna be fun." Alucard shadow melded into the floor and Pip screamed like a little girl. Indeed, this time it would be Pip's turn to flush red, especially since he was going to have many more costumes to try out. He even fit the persona as well, having braided hair and all. Hansa and Seras sat down on the couch as Schrodinger reappeared with some shorts. He sat in Hansa's lap and they all awaited the Frenchman to appear.

"Hey, I don't see what's wrong with this one," Pip said as he appeared before everyone, in a full tuxedo and even a pack of Camels in his pocket. He turned around to check something, and then, everyone, had they not been more than normal humans, would have laughed themselves to death.

Pip was wearing……ass-less chaps.

A/N: Hope you guys liked it. Reviews please!