A/N: Well, It's about damn time I updated, eh? Read and review, hope ya like it.

It was the next night that everyone was worried, crowded in the Major's room with a ton of Dok's humming machinery and the mad scientist busily running form one to another to check readouts and other odd scripts printed out from them. Sweat beaded upon Dok's brow as he checked and rechecked the readouts. He then turned to the rest of the vacationers, a grave look upon his face.

"It seems that the Major, through lack of slaughter and bloodshed in his daily routine, has fallen into a dream lapse…a nightmare to him really. He's trapped in his alternate reality and will be unable to return to his normal consciousness until something is done about his overbearing subconscious fear that is controlling him."

"How do we do that?" Integra asked, leaning against the wall with a yawn.

"Well, over the past few hours, I have created several helmets that will allow you to sift through the Major's subconscious and find whatever is making his brain lapse into this current state. I have only three helmets, so only three of you will be able to go. And while in there, you will be unable to use any supernatural powers of any kind. Of course, that doesn't mean that your supernatural strength will be diminished, simply that there will be no shapeshifting, teleporting, or wolf-forming. So, Hansa, Seras, and Schrodinger will go into the Major's head and perform the task. Everyone else, we'll just have to give directions."

"So…what do we do once we're in, and what can we expect from…well, besides endless war? Anything we should be extra wary of, like nukes or something?" Seras asked with a shrug. Dok shook his head and let out a sad, regretful sigh.

"This is a nightmare. You'll understand once you're there," the mad scientist replied, all manner of German accent leaving his voice. He handed a helmet to Hansa, Seras, and Schrodinger. The odd trio put their helmets on and Dok flipped some switches on his machines. Lights flashed, fans whirred, buzzes of all manner and kind rang out. The mad scientist looked at the three and a mad grin appeared on his face as he grabbed a big lever on the glowing machine.

"Into ze pits of Hell you go!" he roared, slamming the lever down. Electricity flared and the helmets sparked. Everything went black for the three about to enter what may have been the most bizarre realm in the history of mankind…

Hansa awoke suddenly and sat bolt upright. Her head didn't hurt like she had expected it to, and her body felt fine. She stood up and scanned the area. In front of her were Schrodinger and Seras, both of them getting up off the ground groggily. Hansa wasn't at all expecting what was surrounding her, not in the slightest. Around her was a field of…cotton candy?! She furrowed her brow and found that the trees were not made of wood, but of chocolate. The road was made of gigantic slabs of what looked to be lemon drops. Schrodinger sniffed the air and his eyes went wide.

"It's…it's all candy…" he stammered bluntly. Seras looked around in wonder. Hansa shrugged. This was Major's nightmare after all. Most people would think that this was paradise if they were sane. The Major however, was the furthest thing from sane. Hansa saw a city not but a mile away or so, and there were three little dots coming up the road. The werewolf knew that this would be the welcoming party…or whatever the hell was going to greet them. The Major's nightmare could really produce any manner of good thing possible. Perhaps they would be chocolate bunnies? Hansa brought Schrodinger out of his daze with a kick to the face and dragged him down the candy road.

When they met up with the welcoming party, Hansa was rather surprised to find that it wasn't any sort of candy person that she had expected. In fact, she knew one of the people that had come to greet them. One of them was Hansa…in her original form. Hans stood before the three newcomers, decked out in full uniform and with his Mauser C96 on his belt. He wore gloves and his hat was pulled down to his eyes. His face was covered by the high collar of an MG42 greatcoat, and he wore steel-toed combat boots as well.

The person to Hans' right was a teenage girl, who looked oddly like Schrodinger. She had purple hair that was only about shoulder length, and put into two pigtails. She smiled brightly at the three newcomers and Schrodinger gawked at her. True, she was pretty, but she was only a girl, and there was no way that Schrodinger could be more attracted to her than Hansa or Seras because they were matured, well-blessed women. The girl wore a pink tank top and a short, black skirt complimented by red and white striped thigh-high stockings. She smiled broadly at Schrodinger.

The second person was a man, a little taller than Seras and with shoulders as broad as wagon. His entire body was built like a freight train, stocky and muscled. He had a barrel chest the size of an ale keg, which was remarkable. His had a big beard, bushy and dark brown. He had happy blue eyes and wore something that one would see on a lumberjack: checkered shirt, big leather boots, overalls, even the worker's gloves to match. He had a grin on his face, and he seemed the jolly type, like Santa Clause with a different beard and…less fat.

"Hello there friends!" said the barrel-chested man in a jovial tone, arms out as wide as they could be stretched.

"Yes, it's always good to have…cute guests to our lovely city," said the girl, eying Schrodinger with a low purr. Everyone looked at Hans to say something, but he narrowed his eyes at them. Only Hansa didn't back down. If this really was her former self, then he wasn't going to do anything, at least not unless he had been ordered to. Hans stared at Hansa impassively for a few moments before the jovial fellow sensed the tension rising. Matriarch verses Patriarch. Neither was going to back down, not here anyway.

"Well then, I'm sure we'd all like to get to know each other! My name is Keras, and this is Schradinger. This is-"

"Hans, and I know him very well," said Hansa, putting a finger to her counterpart's chest.

"…!" Of course, there would be no reaction from her former self. Both of the others noticed the pressing tension between the two.

"Well…we should get going! I'm very sure that you all are eager to see Berlin, so let us go!" Keras said. He took Seras' hand and swung her onto his broad shoulders. The poor vampire wrapped her arms around his thick neck and giggled. It was like watching a father carry his daughter on his back. Both of them were laughing in a few seconds, and they seemed to be hitting it off well. Schrodinger on the other hand…

There couldn't have been a happier cat-boy in the entire universe. He and his new friend were hitting it off perfectly. In fact, Schradinger was all over him. They were playing tonsil hockey, and they looked like they could play the game through overtime. Schrodinger's ears perked up when his counterpart reached into his shirt and ripped it open. Buttons popped off and Schrodinger let out a satisfied purr. He looked like a love-struck schoolboy, and he would have been had he not already been employed as a messenger for an insane Nazi officer. Hansa looked up at Hans and the werewolf looked down with a look of weariness on his face. The look in his eyes lightened.

"I can't keep up vit dis any langer," Hansa heard in her head. She furrowed her brow.

"You…?"

"Ja. Vit ozer verevolves." Hans snatched Hansa up into his arms and turned on heel to follow the others. Berlin loomed in the distance like a bastion of blasphemy and un-despoiled ginger bread and cupcakes and cake icing. Hansa was vaguely reminded of candyland…and this was a very evil, demented candyland. Hansa let out a frustrated sigh and resigned herself to be carried back to Berlin. This was not the broken World War II city she knew, and she didn't want any part of it. She could only imagine what the Reichstag looked like. Some fucking gingerbread house more likely than not.

And upon arrival, Hansa let out a deep, frustrated groan. Indeed, this was like a demented candyland. All the people were made out of gingerbread, and they all looked happy and jolly. All the houses were covered with chocolate paint and cake icing. The cars were made of hard candy and all the street signs were lollipops. Hansa cursed under her breath as she saw a dog made of ice cream run by. Keras set down the fledgling vampire on his back and whistled sharply. All the gingerbread people turned and stood at attention.

"These are our welcomed guests! Please make sure they are made comfortable while they stay here!" he bellowed with a laugh. The gingerbread people erupted into a chorus of chants and cheering at their visitors. Schrodinger looked at his new friend and she kissed him on the tip of the nose.

"It's alright, you can bite…and you can bite things other than me as well," Schradinger teased with a giggle. Schrodinger's eyes went as wide as dinner plates and he leapt upon a street sign, munching on it as if it were commonplace to eat street ornaments. Seras timidly broke a piece off a house and ate it. She squealed with delight.

"It's just like how my mum used to make it! Oh, jolly good!" she said in a thick British accent. Hansa snorted and kicked the legs off the nearest gingerbread man. The creature made no move other than to smile and try to hand his severed limb to her. Raspberry jelly leaked from the limb and Hansa slapped it aside with a low growl.

"Get zis crap out of my face. Ver ist die Major? Anyvon? Tell me vhere he is!" she ordered. All of the gingerbread people pointed to a building at the center of a large square. Hansa realized that the building was made out of actual stone, and a flag was hung from its large roof. It was the flag that had hung there pre-Russian invasion. It was the Major's flag.

"Up there, the Major rules this land from his great throne," one of the gingerbread people said happily. Hansa punched the small thing's head off. Hans grabbed her wrist and shook his head slowly. The other four "real" people were enjoying themselves immensely, laughing and munching on candy and chocolate and sweets of all kinds. Schrodinger had a huge stack of marshmallows, chocolates, and gram crackers in his arms. Schradinger took them and mysteriously made a stack of smores that the cat-boy pounced on hungrily.

"Really? Is he alvays zat hungry?" asked Hans as he watched the cat-boy greedily munch on his sugary delights. Schradinger watched silently, smiling at her counterpart as he ate and thanked her and told her that there would many more kisses for her once he was through eating. Sera son the other hand, was to busy laughing at jokes and old stories to eat very fast. Keras seemed like the father she never had, and he was the perfect match for her. If one didn't know them, they would think the two had always been family and were catching up with each other again. Hansa looked up at Hans. The two seemed so alien to each other.

"You don't like me, do you?" asked Hansa. Hans shrugged.

"I like you plenty. Ze fact zat you are here means zat ve should get along. But you know better zen to fall into zat trap, and so do I," he replied with a slight grin. Hansa saw it now, that sense of loyalty and commitment that she hadn't realized was there in a long time. She saw her old sense of pride there too. Hans was the different one here, Hans was the victim of a messed up world. Hans was all alone again.

"Good zen. Ve have our priorities straight, so let's get going. To ze Reichstag?"

"Ja, mein Kapitan," replied the werewolf as he transformed into his true self and Hansa clambered up to his neck. They bounded off towards the stone building with the other four far behind them. She knew that some tings never changed. Hans would always be Hans.