Chapter 3 – Desire

As Sakura walked through the town on her way home late that afternoon, all the smells coming from the restaurants and food stands made her stomach growl louder and louder. It had been an eventful and tiring day with Tsunade-sama. She considered stopping at Ichiraku's for a piping hot bowl of his chewy noodles and savory broth before getting home when,

"Sakura!"

Kakashi had spotted her walking up the street just as he was finishing up his bowl of ramen at Ichiraku's.

She was elated when she realized it was him.

"Kakashi-sensei! Are you here by yourself?"

"Yea, I just finished training with Naruto so I was treating myself to an early dinner before heading home. What are you up to?"

"I was actually just on my way here to get something to eat. I see you've just finished up," she said with a slight frown of disappointment, not only because she wouldn't have minded sharing a meal with him but also because she had missed yet another chance to see him without his mask on. She ordered her food and grabbed the seat next to him.

"Do you want me to keep you company, Sakura? I have some time before I need to get home." He hoped she would not decline.

"Sure, if you're not busy. I always enjoy your company, but you don't ha – " she started cheerfully, but then interrupted herself. She had somehow missed it before but finally realized that Kakashi's arm was bandaged up to his elbow.

"What happened to your arm?!" she asked with worried eyes.

"Oh, well after you left this morning, Naruto and I were doing some training and... you know," he shrugged.

"I hope it's okay, sensei…."

"It's fine, really. It's looks worse than it feels," he lied. In actuality, it probably felt worse than it looked, but he didn't need to concern her with that.

Just then her food came. Kakashi felt relieved to have something to distract Sakura from his arm; it was the last thing he wanted to think about right now. Though he was unbelievably proud of Naruto and had seen this day rapidly approaching, he had to admit the idea of being surpassed already made him feel a little obsolete and this feeling was only heightened by being with Sakura. But he reminded himself it had been years since he had stopped being Naruto's teacher, that they were equals now. Which also reminded him,

"You know, Sakura, I'm technically not your sensei anymore, we're teammates. You can just call me Kakashi now."

"I've actually thought about that, too. But I've been calling you Sensei for so long that it's almost like it's a part of your name now, not just a title. Plus, we're still not exactly equals – you're the captain of my team." She paused for a moment. "But if you insist, maybe from now on I'll try throwing in some regular 'Kakashi's," she said with a little laugh.

"Sure, sounds good to me," he replied with a friendly smile.

She really did love that smile.

"Kakashi?" Whoa, it had felt strange to call him that out loud, but she continued. "You said earlier that you had to get home soon. I hope I'm not keeping you from something."

"No, don't worry, you're not. It's actually that, well…" he hesitated to continue. "I'm not sure but I might be going on a mission soon, maybe as soon as tonight. With Shikamaru's team…" He was pretty sure he did not need to go any further.

"Oh." He didn't.

She looked at him, and without saying anything, wished him good luck with a nod. Though she didn't want to let him on, she was filled with anxiety. She had been afraid of this. This would be a dangerous mission, one that even he might not return from.

"So did you do anything interesting with Tsunade-sama today?" he said, trying to change the subject.

Her face lit up.

"Actually, she showed me all the work she's done so far on rapid regeneration and asked me to do some research for her. After seeing Kabuto do it she's been trying to figure out a way to do it herself. Doesn't that sound exciting? Not the research part, of course, which was exhausting and tedious. But if we figure it out, think of all the lives we could save!" She smiled and then turned slightly red, as if embarrassed for getting so excited. She leaned down and slurped up some noodles, trying to block him from seeing her face with her hair.

He was impressed. The Fifth had included her, an apprentice, in some very important research, an honor she did not bestow upon many. It was something she normally reserved for her most talented colleagues. She must have been doing exceptionally.

Sakura continued eating in silence, only stopping every now and then to dab at the corners of her mouth with a napkin. The last thing she needed was to embarrass herself in front of Kakashi by having food on her face like a sloppy child. When she started to get full, she also started to suck in her stomach. And every time he looked at her, she only felt more self-conscious. In reality, he was probably only glancing at her every so often, but to her it seemed as if he were somehow able to see every inch of her, waiting for her to do something that would permanently mar his image of her, destroying any chance she had. She could hardly even taste her delicious ramen, her mind was so preoccupied. She began to feel almost trapped inside of her head and her body, but she straightened her posture and tried to make herself at least look relaxed and graceful. But all this concern with poise and table manners made it so hard for her to eat comfortably that it wasn't long before she felt stomach pains from indigestion. As she tried to inconspicuously rub her stomach to soothe it she mentally berated herself.

Quit being so freakin' insecure, you big baby! All you've succeeded in doing is causing one more thing you don't want him to notice!

Kakashi looked over at Sakura. To anyone else she might have seemed completely natural but he could sense that she was getting stiffer every minute. He hoped it wasn't because of him for any reason, and looked down at his empty bowl in case it was because he was watching her.

When she finished eating, he pulled out his wallet and was about to pay for the both of them when Sakura quickly pulled out her own wallet and gave the money to Ichiraku.

"It's on me," she said with a shy smile. "As thanks for keeping me company."

He began to protest but knew it was too late. Instead, he smiled back and thanked her. He couldn't remember the last time somebody had treated him.

When they walked out of the booth, the sun was just starting to set.

"It's getting dark, I'm gonna walk you home," Kakashi stated in a way that let Sakura know that it wasn't a question and she shouldn't bother refusing – not that she wanted to.

As they walked, Kakashi looked up into the sky and then down at Sakura, whose hair perfectly blended into the pink and purple sunset. The wind would catch in her hair, making it bounce and sparkle where it caught the light. Standing right next to him, he realized just how small and cute she was. He smiled to himself.

She was walking so close he imagined he could feel her body heat. So close that he would barely even have to reach out to interlock his fingers with hers, something he wanted to do so much he had to make a mental effort to stop his fingers from twitching towards her anymore. If he had known how much she wanted the same thing, he might have given in. Instead, he jammed his hand in his pocket and scowled at himself, telling himself to get a grip.

She had seen the quick movement of his arm out of the corner of her eye and looked up at him. Her heart dropped to see that he seemed unhappy and that his mind was obviously elsewhere. Not wanting to pry, she refrained from asking him what was wrong and instead looked at the hand he had just put away. Then she remembered his other injured arm. She watched it swing as he walked.

"Kakashi, Naruto's figuring out the technique pretty quickly, huh? I must say that was such a brilliant idea you had, having him train with his shadow replications," she said to him with her best smile. She hoped it would cheer him up a little.

Just one look at her quickly snapped him out of his funk.

"Heh, thanks. Yea, Naruto's doing great. He's achieved something in a few days that even the Fourth never could. I have to say, when I look at you and Naruto, I feel so proud to have had a part, no matter how small, in your growth as ninjas."

He was being too humble. Didn't he realize just how big of a role he had played in her and Naruto's lives? She didn't even know how she could begin to describe.

"Sensei, your part was certainly not in any way small! I can't even begin – " She stopped herself before she got too emotional or sappy. She took a breath and started again. "I know I speak for Naruto, too, when I say that you have had a huge influence on us, and you still do. Not just as ninjas, but also as people."

She looked up at him and their eyes locked for a moment, before Kakashi smiled and looked up at the sky.

"Thanks, Sakura."

Though she was glad to be sharing this moment with him, her inner Sakura was slightly disappointed. In her dreamworld, this was where he would lean down and kiss her passionately before taking her back to his apartment, where they would stay up all night and…

"Sakura?"

"Hm?" Damn, he had startled her out of her fantasy just as she was getting to a good part.

"You're home."

"Haha, oh. Sorry, I was spacing out for a second there." She gathered her senses and sadly realized she had to say good night. "Thanks for walking me home, I know it's a bit out of the way."

"It's my pleasure." It really was. He had actually been wishing that her house was further away so he could walk with her a little longer. He knew he would have walked all night to stay close to her.

"If you leave tonight…" She pictured him getting hurt, or worse, and she struggled to keep her emotions under control, "if you leave tonight, good luck on the mission. Please be careful. I'll see you when you return. Or maybe sooner if Tsunade-sama sends us as your back-up."

He nodded, eye carefully watching her. "Thanks. I'll see you then."

She had been worried that it might be her last time seeing him, but she was put a little more at ease when she realized he was making her a promise. He had never broken a promise to her yet. Still, it was difficult to resist throwing her arms around his neck, but she managed and said good-night to him.

Kakashi turned around and slowly started to walk home. He contemplated turning back around. He had seen the love in her eyes as they said their good-byes. He just wasn't sure if it was as a student and teammate, or something else.

He stopped.

"Sakura?" He turned to see her about to turn the doorknob.

She tried not to get her hopes up as she put her hand down and half turned to look at him.

"I…"

What are you doing? Do you have any idea? Tonight is certainly not the right time for this! And this is a terrible idea to begin with, you already know that.

"… Stay safe."

Her heart sank as she watched him walk away.

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Whew, this was a long one! I hope you liked it, it was a labor of love. I was trying to show the dynamic between the two, with all the range of crazy emotions one might feel around someone they are secretly in love with.

I would love some feedback, so please review! Oh, and a big hug to those who have reviewed, I really appreciate it! :D