i'm sooo embarrasssed! my sister's laughing at me. thanks again to everyone who's supporting my story.

Summary: JD, after disappearing for weeks, is found with the strangest new appearence. He can't 'fix' it and no one but Dr. Cox can know about it, So, can JD hide his big secret or will it leak out? And if it does, will it end up doing more damage than he ever imagined possible?

Rating: I'll stick with the T rating just so I have room to stretch my imagination. No rated M moments, though I might put those parts in a serperate fic so I can keep this one available to the the majority of the fanfic readers.

Regular text.

"Speaking."

Thinking.

(Author's notes within story.)

After the little scare with the delivery man who needed a signature, JD returned from the back room, tail a-quiver in wary fear. Perry rolled his eyes, tossing the small package he'd just gotten aside.

"It's alright, Newbie, he's not here anymore," the older man assured. JD went lax, shoulders sagging, tail limp and ears folded back with relief. He scurried quickly back to the couch and sat heavily on it. He had been terrified at the prospect of someone seeing him this way. In fact, he could not even describe how relieved he was to find Dr. Cox not repulsed by him, well, beyond what he already was.

Perry returned to his easy chair and did not hesitate to jump right back to business, "So, now we know you can go from wolfy to normal to wolfy again, but how long can you stay normal?"

JD flicked his ear nervously. "I guess ... I guess I can stay as long as I don't feel the need to protect myself." It hadn't taken long for JD to realize this, but during that whole time in that cell, he'd been on the edge, either desperate to jump to any escape route or wallowing in self-pity and misery. Both situations, he decided, could be considered a situation where he'd felt the need to defend himself or where he didn't feel safe.

That one time he'd tricked himself into thinking he was safe had been relatively easy to achieve. And just now, JD had forced himself to calm down and realize how safe and secure he was even though he was precariously close to having his entire life ruined forever. Both these times, JD saw it was easy to make himself believe he was okay.

"Newbie?" Perry suddenly cut in, agitated. "Hey, listen up!" JD jerked from his thoughts and Perry forced away a smile. Yep, JD was definitely back. "We- I mean, you're going to have to have to get this staying in normal mode thing down pat. And I mean that. You're going to have to go 15 or 20 or even 30 hour stretches without going wolfy! Plus, you're need to force all jumpiness out of your system. I mean, a knock at the door sent you into a panic. That's just ridiculous."

Surprisingly, Perry found the insulting tone roll off his tongue just like old times, even if he was a bit rusty on the endless list of girl's names. JD, being the irrepressible guy he was, seemed unbothered by his tone. In fact, his ears came back up and the thick tail beside him flopped slowly like a content dog's would.

Perry bit back a grin by scowling. "Don't get all smiley on me. You've got a lot of work to do."

And just like that, JD's grin faltered and his ear twitched self-consciously. The left one, Perry noticed, was always the one that twitched when JD was bothered. Also, Perry was finding it difficult to summon up that irritation that normal Dr. Cox would have had with Newbie's sensitivity.

"Fine," the older doctor said suddenly, standing up suddenly. JD looked a little frightened to see a person, although it was only Perry, towering over him. "We've got a lot of work to do." JD repressed a smile, then struggled to push away a yawn as well.

Perry went over a mental to-do list. "Well, after we go to the police and you give your story, you're going to be sent to the hospital for a check-up. Despite the fact that you're looking healthier already-" and Perry meant that, "- we'll have to make sure you haven't caught any hard to see things, and then of course, you'll have your little friends jumping to see you again."

Suddenly, JD's face lit up at the prospect of seeing Carla, Turk and Elliot again. He pushed away that nagging dark thought that had been born in the darkness of his cell, the one that growled and muttered and whispered about how none of them had rescued him. JD didn't give this dark notion much thought, only ignoring it whenever it was sparked by something.

"Hey, what'd I say about getting all smiley?" Perry reminded him, but with much less bite to his voice. "Now, what sort of problems do you think are gonna come up during this?"

Having already sort of thought about this already, JD went over that list he'd made in his head. "Well, I think I'm gonna have a problem with commotions. Big crowds, bright lights and loud noises, those could all get me to panic." JD briefly wondered how he could so readily pour out his weaknesses to someone who'd been tormenting him for years. Then, he have a nervous laugh. "I mean, I don't think I've seen sunlight in a month or so."

He couldn't really describe it, but Perry realized that a slow-burning anger had grown in his gut. Seeing JD flinch from quick motions, the pale, sunken tone to his skin and how emaciated he was, set Perry itching to find whoever had taken JD away and punish them. Painfully.

But Perry shook these thoughts away. I'm not actually concerned about JD. I'll admit that I was angry to lose a kid with such potential, but only 'cause it meant more work for me. Perry doesn't do emotions beside anger, much less emotions for such a pain-in-the-ass girl like Newbie...

"Well, let's get you used to these things. Of course, it's going to be hard to get you to be more of a man than you were before you got these wolfy features. You were jumpy even then." Perry glanced over to the window as dusty morning sunlight streamed in. He'd suddenly been reminded of the drama that had taken place while JD had been gone.

------

The door slammed shut with a resounding bang, leaving one red-faced, furious Perry in the room. His face was contorted in absolute, vicious anger.

"Fine! Go to you mother's house but I will never admit that I even miss the kid. I don't know what someone slipped you that could even make you begin to think that I could actually have feelings for that useless waste of air that calls itself a doctor! I don't care if he's found dead in ditch! I don't care if he's even ever found! It's all the better for me if that babbling idiot is never seen again!"

As the sound of Jordan's heels clacking down the hall faded along with Jack's wails, Perry fell quiet, quivering with emotions other than rage as his mind began turning slowly. What JD was found dead in a ditch? What if he never came back?

------

Perry closed his eyes against the memory as JD gave him a questioning look, tipping his to the side like a puppy. Perry narrowed his eyes in annoyance he had to struggle to find.

"Don't do that," Perry growled, "Now find a way to go to 'normal' mode. You're going to have to perfect that in the next hour."

The reason why Perry was so anxious to hurry and get JD to the police station was because, though he wasn't an expert at law mumbo-jumbo, he was sure that he could get in trouble for withholding a missing person and that was unnecessary trouble that Perry would not get into. So, to prevent said trouble, Perry was going to prep Newbie for the world he'd been cut off from for so long.

Within the next few minutes, JD had donned Perry's hoodie and allowed himself to be led to the door. Suddenly, tight ball of alarm constricted JD's chest and he had to struggle to keep his ears from returning.

Perry prodded JD with his finger and JD nearly jumped. To his surprise, Perry had an odd look of concern and annoyance, the two sides of his personality contradicting each other. After a moment, Perry shook his head and let his concern wash over his face.

"It's alright JD." JD's eyes widened at the use of his name. "You now you can do this."

JD flashed Perry a strained smile, nodded and stepped into the hallway. Good. I got this far, about ... three steps. Just a few more ... A few more ... Stairs? Enclosed space that I could fall and die on? No problem. Okay, don't stumble, at least not in front of Dr. Cox ... JD blinked and suddenly found his feet stepping out onto the sidewalk, heatless sunlight splashing across his face. His breath hitched and he realized all he'd missed. Sunshine and rainstorms, light and warmth, people who cared about him, any people at all... Even those dark thoughts from before couldn't pierce JD's indescribable elation at the moment.

"Well, are you waiting for a doggie treat? You got this far easily, keep going!" Perry's forceful voice suddenly filled JD with an odd strength. He'd felt it before, heck, he'd been feeling since the first day Dr. Cox had snarled at him. JD had even used the technique before to motivate someone else. What would I do without him? JD suddenly wondered.

For the next few minutes, JD made his way down the sidewalk, dreary winter sunlight illuminating a slow morning of few cars and even less people. The only thing was that at every sudden sound or movement, JD was nearly sent running. Even with Perry's support, after four cars and a group of kids, JD's nerves were frayed.

"Okay, I can control the ears and tail, can we go inside, please?" JD hated to sound like he was begging but it was all he could do before he snapped and ran for it.

Perry growled but decided JD had proved himself. "Alright, Newbie. You can rest or whatever but we are going to the police station today. Can you handle being questioned?"

JD blinked and thought about it. How did the police question missing people once they returned? Would they believe his story, despite the major holes that would be in it even if he told everything he knew? After a moment, JD gave up on trying to figure it out, only figuring that there'd be a lot of chaos, and nodded to Perry.

With that, the older doctor led JD up the stairs and inside the apartment where he promptly flopped onto the couch. There was a small flash of light and immediately, wolf ears returned to his head and a tail flicked agitatedly. With a small sigh of exhaustion, JD looked up at Perry.

"Why does it bother me so much?" JD finally growled, frustrated, "All I did was walk down the street and I nearly panicked! It's not like they beat me with sticks or something. Is it against my nature now to be around people?"

But as usually, Perry had a sharp reprimand ready. "Stop whining, Newbie. What you went through, weeks of darkness and isolation, was very traumatic. You're not just going to be all better overnight. You need to give yourself time. Besides, if you push it, you could end up ruining your life."

He didn't need to say how. If JD pushed himself to hard and ended up revealing his secret to the world, he'd undoubtedly be unable to have a regular life ever again.

With a small whimper, JD's ear flicked back in doubt, but he sighed as the nervous energy left him and he curled up on the couch to rest. Perry tried to think scornfully about JD to deny how worried he was at heart, but he found himself quite unable. In fact, if he wasn't so incredibly stubborn, Perry would have given into his heart's urges and settled beside JD on the couch.