Recap:
Thoughts like that swirled round and round in my head for hours. By the time my eyes saw anything that wasn't my own tears; I saw that I was in a hotel room. I was curled up in a ball on a bed. A glass of water and some headache pills were sitting on the bedside table.
I drank the water, but left the pills untouched. Then I fell asleep, exhausted by my emotional breakdown.
Chapter 5
Tell all
This time when I slept, my dream was a normal one. That is, if you can call purple dragons with orange spots doing the hokey pokey normal. I woke up to find Lyn making coffee in a little kitchen attached to the room. "Morning," I called. I got up and sat at the table as Lyn put a coffee mug in front of me.
"You seem to be the girl who goes for black coffee with extra sugar." She guessed. I smiled and reached for the cup. Yesterday's events raced through my mind and I sighed as I blew the steam across the surface of my coffee. I made a decision then; I was going to tell Lyn everything.
And I did. I told her everything, from Victor's necklace, to Adrian's dream walking, to mine and Lissa's bond and even the cabin. She sat silently and listened, only getting up once to grab the tissue box. I just sobbed at the end, laying my head on the table and crying my heart out. I sobbed for the best friend I left behind. For the future that was so close I could've tasted it.
I sobbed for my love, who suffered a fate worse than death. I cried for the thought of giving him up. Not being able to fulfil my only promise to him. To not be able to love him anymore. To never have been able to show how much I loved him. My tears flowed for the heartbreak that was my life. I finally got to be with my love and he was taken away from me in the worst way possible.
And now, if Lyn was right, I would forever have a reminder of his face. I cried for that too. What if I eventually gave Arian a chance? How could I give him a fair chance if I had another man's child hanging off my arm?
My tears dried up and I noticed that I had a pounding headache. Once again, there was a glass of water and some headache pills near my head. This time, I thankfully took one. I went to the bathroom and splashed my face with cool water. My face was red and splotchy, one of the reasons I never took part in long cry-fests. I went back to the bedroom and grabbed some clothes for the day.
I walked back into the bathroom and put my clothes on the counter. I turned on the water and stripped off my old, dirty clothes. The hot water splashed down on me, washing away dried tears and calming my tense muscles. After a while I finally turned off the shower and got dressed. I wore black skinny-jeans and a red three-quarter sleeve shirt. I'd bought this shirt on one of my shopping trips in the last month.
I shuddered away the memory of Dimitri raising his eyebrow at my choice. Leaving behind a note for Lyn -she chose to keep her nightly schedule- I left for the nearest shopping centre. I needed new clothes. This was the first time I'd been shopping without Lissa in many years. I felt a sense of emptiness at the thought.
I entered different stores, not bothering to remember which ones, and bought a few items of importance. I even got a toothbrush and toothpaste at the chemist.
After a hamburger and fries for lunch, and headed back to the hotel. As I rounded the corner, a hand latched onto my wrist and pulled me into an alley.
The hand was cold against my skin, and the eyes that looked down at me as I was forced to turn around were red-rimmed. I gasped as the strigoi smiled down at me, fangs mocking me from the corners of his mouth. I internally cursed myself for forgetting both of my stakes. I wrenched my wrists from his grasp and threw my bags against a bare wall. The strigoi launched himself at me, hand gripping my throat and smashing my head against the wall.
I gasped and clawed uselessly at his hand, -natural instincts- before remembering it would do no good. Lungs burning from lack of air, I punched the strigoi in the side of the head. It did no good to physically hurt him, but his surprise at me fighting back made him release my throat. I dropped and threw myself away from him, deeper into the alley. I spun around at the same second he did and jumped onto the dumpster as he rushed at me. He hit his head and I jumped on him, knocking his head on the corner or the rustled metal.
His shriek was short-lived as I jumped on him again, knocking him out as the dumpster made a dent in the middle of his forehead. It wouldn't last very long, but any time would be helpful. I grabbed the lighter from my pocket and started searching for something to help the flames along. I grabbed a can of old oil and dumped it over him. I lit the lighter and burnt a piece of cardboard by his head.
As the flames reached his body and began burning quickly, I grabbed my bags and continued my walk back to the hotel.
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My dreams did not come quickly that night, but eventually they came. I was met with the same park from the other night.
"Adrian, please, can we have a different scene?" I asked, knowing Adrian would be there. A moment later, we were at a small cabin surrounded by snowy landscape. I gasped and turned around, covering my eyes. "Not that one." I whispered. I felt warm arms wrapping around me as a tear escaped my eye.
"Shit, more tears. You'd think my soul would be drained by now." I sobbed out. This session didn't last as long as the others had, probably because I was so exhausted. I looked up to see the lake from the other dream and lay down, preparing myself for another long explanation.
I told him all of it. The reason for the cover up, the nails, the dhampir soul mate connection. He held me while I cried, again for my situation. It just wasn't fair.
But I needed to do something productive. Sitting and crying for days on end wasn't going to make any difference. Not to mention the effect it would have on my emotional state. Adrian forbade me from going after Dimitri, and I had no doubt he would send people after me if he thought I would ignore him.
We agreed that he would tell Lissa about the problem, and then we would all work out my next move.