Chapter 3:

If You Were Gay

Ace ran next to Luffy towards the east side of the island, searching for the Merry Go. Smoker, who was not very far behind them, picked up speed when he saw that the younger brother had tripped in a whole. Ace stopped to help his brother when he noticed Smoker just yards away from them. Ace was in no mood to fight right now so the only thing he knew he could do at the moment was to irritate Smoker...and he knew just how to do so. Ace stepped in front of Luffy and faced Smoker.

"Listen Portgas, I don't wanna pick a fight right now. So just hand you and your brother over peacefully."

"Like hell I will."

"Fine. Have it your way." Smokers arms turned into smoke as he stood there staring at the brothers.

"Smoker, I'm gonna be real honest here...and I want you to be honest too okay?" Smoker just stared at Ace, wondering where he was going with this. "Smoker...I think your gay." Smokers cigars fell from his mouth as he stared open mouthed at Ace.

"What. The. Fuck?"

"Now, if you're a little shy to admit that you were gay, don't worry. We won't make fun of you..."

"Are sick minded, Portgas?"

"Smoker, listen to me. If you were gay, that would be okay. I mean cause hey, I like you anyway."

"Grr, Portgas..."

"Because you see...if it were me, I would feel free to say that I was gay but I'm not gay. If you were queer, I'd still be here year after year because your dear to me."

"Knock it off, Portgas!" Luffy just stared at his brother.

"And I know that you would accept me too--"

"Like hell I would!"

"--if I told you today 'Guess what, I'm gay!' But I'm not gay. I'm happy just being with you. So what should it matter to me what you do in bed with guys?"

"That's just wrong." Smoker recoiled.

"No it's not!" Luffy quickly replied

"If you were gay, I'd shout hooray!"

"I'm not listening to this crap anymore."

"And here I'd stay, but I wouldn't get in your way. You can count on me to always be beside you everyday to tell you it's okay. You were just born that way. And I'd say 'Say, It's in your DNA!' You're gay!"

"I AM NOT GAY!"

"If you were gay."

"ARGH! I GIVE UP! I'LL LET YOU GO THIS TIME, BUT NEXT TIME YOU'RE DEAD PORTGAS! DEAD! DEAD!!" Smoker ran in the opposite direction, leaving the two brothers alone. Ace grinned and turned around, helping his brother up.

"What was that about?"

"I was just messing with him. If you irritate someone enough they usually give up after a while."

"Cool!" Luffy and Ace stood there for a while before Luffy turned to Ace. "Ace, I'm hungary."

"Then lets get back to the ship..."

~later that day on the ship~

Luffy clung to Sanji's leg, begging for food. Sanji, no matter what he did, couldn't shake Luffy off.

"Luffy, just wait till dinner!" Luffy pouted but Sanji still said no. Luffy looked at the ground then back up at Sanji.

"Hey Sanji, are you gay?"

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Oh great...nice one Ace. Now Lu's gonna drive Sanji nuts...

Well...R&R please. Thank you!