Disclaimer: I don't own. If I did, Mary-Sues would be dead on arrival. And thank you Peter Weir for letting me steal that little bit of conversation. (If you know what I mean, say so. It's nice to know I'm not the only person who can actually quote the whole movie…)

A/N: Yay! Chapter 2

Thank you RiverOtter1 for the suggestions ; )

We'll get to know more about Allie in Chapter 3 (i.e., her background, just how Mary-Sue-ish she is, etc.). It might not be up for a while because I have to start school next week *cries*

Legolas lifted his head and scanned the horizon (AN: doesn't he ever get bored of doing that??).

"The breeze whispers of rain," he informed the other two.

"I suppose the clouds are also a big hint, eh?" said Gimli, grinning broadly.

"Yes, those too," sighed the elf, dropping his 'mysterious' pose.

Aragorn just shook his head and laughed.

"We should head for cover," he said after a moment. The others looked at him. It was a rather stupid thing to say when you're on an endless plain, like they were now. Gimli was about to criticize, when it started raining.

"Well at least I was right about the rain…"said Legolas hesitantly. It took his companions a while to recover from the shock. Gimli was first to react.

"Who, in this world or the next, could not have figured that out?"

Legolas just shrugged. "I was trying to be optimistic."

Gimli looked like the elf had slapped him. "Then who in all the blazes can be optimistic in this bloody weather??"

Before Aragorn could volunteer an answer, a bolt of lightning hit the ground a few meters away. They were all thrown back from the force of the charge. Dirt, rock, and members of the fellowship scattered everywhere. A perfect crater was left where a few moments before there had been a bush. Shaking their heads and coughing from the dust, the…men (??) looked around. To their surprise, lying at a short distance was a girl of about sixteen.

She had long blond curls and a nice back, though that was all they could see because she was lying face down in mud. She lifted her head groggily and murmured something.

Gimli snickered. "She looks like the mud-monsters my mum-", he shut up quickly. Most people did when they saw Aragorn's death glare.

Meanwhile, the girl had started to move. They noticed she was wearing strange clothes and Legolas wondered briefly if she was some sort of demon. As if trying to prove him right, the "girl" reached for the place where most people kept their weapons. They tensed. She looked for something in a pocket. They raised their preferred murder instruments. She pulled a round thing out. A small click was heard. The elf tensed his bow. He didn't think "she" had noticed them yet, which was bizarre. Even bizarrer (AN: Is that even a word?) was the fact that she was looking at herself in a mirror. They all breathed a sigh of relief. They had been expecting worst. They hadn't, however, been expecting what happened next. A few seconds later, their eardrums exploded.

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Allie felt herself fall with a thump. She lifted her head a bit and waited for everything to have stopped spinning. And then, unaware of how totally cliché it was, she muttered something that sounded vaguely like "Where am I?"

She sat up slowly and reached into her pocket for her mirror. Opening it with a flick, she looked into it. And screamed, louder than she'd ever screamed before. Her face was covered in mud!!! She was dirty!!(*gasp*)She suddenly became aware of the fact that there were three people around her, bending over and covering their ears. From her vantage point they looked like a man, a woman, and a child.

"Who the hell are you?" she asked rather rudely. They all turned to look at her. The child seemed to have a beard. Maybe it's actually a midget, she thought vaguely. And maybe that woman is…not a woman? In any case, the three people looked familiar. The maybe-a-woman-but-maybe-not looked at her strangely.

"You mean you don't know who we are?" he asked cautiously.

"Uhhh…no? Am I supposed to?

"Technically, yes."

"You are the one who needs to know who I am," she retorted, flicking her curls back.

"Who are you then?" asked the bearded child.

"I," she started, standing up to her full height and looking around haughtily. "I am Alecia Fi-Fi Pretty Angel Stardust Cloud Johnson, and my father is Dan Johnson, president of the biggest petrol and car company in the world."

"What's petrol?" asked maybe-a-woman-but-maybe-not.

"What's car?" asked the bearded-kid.

"Alecia Fi-Fi Pretty Angel Stardust Cloud Johnson???" asked the only one who looked normal, if rather smelly.

She had a really simple answer to each of their questions.

"Gits." Thinking it over she added "You can call me Allie though. Princess Allie. And you'll be my slaves. Now, tell me who you are!" [1]

Maybe-a-woman-but-maybe-not stepped forward and bowed.

"I am Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of Mirkwood. At your service…my Lady." His voice was soft and melodious and it annoyed Allie immensely. At least she knew it was a guy. Bearded-kid was up. He simply nodded at her.

"Gimli, son of Glóin."

The normal looking one just looked at her. She glared back until he gave in.

"I'm Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and heir to the throne of Gondor."

"Heir, you say?" she said suddenly interested. She was about to flash him her most impressive, pearly-white smile, when she remembered she was covered in mud. "Take me somewhere where I can wash myself."

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"The little b-errr…witch!!" said Legolas crossly, in elvish. "She's rude, stuck up, bossy, and she thinks you're better than me. I'm an heir too!!!" he whined.

"I don't care about that," Aragorn answered. "But how long is she going to take to wash her face?!"

"I don't know what you two are saying but I'm pretty sure I agree," muttered Gimli. "She told me to shave my beard off!"

The other two were about to tell him about what she'd said to them, when *Princess* Allie appeared. She had, as previously mentioned, long curly blond hair, that came about half way down her back. Her face was, well, perfect, though not beautiful. She looked too arrogant. She was tall and thin and her chest, though generous, looked weird (*cough*fake*cough*). The same went for her skin color. It was orange.

"What are you staring at?" she said, murder in her violet eyes. "Ohhh…You're looking at me 'cause I'm beautiful right?" They decided not to argue and nodded. She squealed. Legolas clamped his hands over his ears, just in case.

Aragorn spoke up.

"My dear lady," he bowed humbly and continued, "I am afraid we have a quest of utmost importance, and cannot take you with us. We are, however, very happy to give you supplies and point out the way to nearest civilisation."

"No."

"What do you mean 'no'?"

She smiled. "No."

[1] This whole scene is funnier if you remember that her face is covered in mud

A/N: Hope you liked it!! Please review: knowing how to improve makes it easier to do so. And it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside when I see people like what I write, so I'm more likely to write. In brief: more nice reviews, more writing. More bad reviews, more and BETTER writing. There's just no stopping me…