I'm so sorry for the delay, but I hope it will be worth the wait!

New Beta for this story, the lovely; Black_Angel_. *thank you*

//SweSlash

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Sarah spent the rest of the flight reviewing Chuck's file, getting more worried by the minute. A small part of her thought that maybe... just maybe he shouldn't have been let out of the facility…..That thought hurt, but the things she'd seen in the file had scared her, the old Chuck was gone and instead she would be living with a suicidal, unpredictable copy of the man she had grown to have feelings for. It hurt. And it scared her. She'd always felt that she'd been capable of handling Chuck, but now... She could handle some trained killer out to get her but managing this felt so unfamiliar; so out of her league.

The plane touched down at a small airfield outside of L.A., and stopped right in front of a black town car. Chuck and Sarah climbed into the car and soon they were off to move into their new house.

Sarah kept a close eye on Chuck, she needed to familiarize herself with the new characteristics of him. He was a not as twitchy as he had been before; it was as if he was more aware of his surroundings, and calculating everything. It made her uncomfortable. That was her job, not his. He was supposed to be this happy guy that had just happened to get a government computer in his head, not a cold blooded NSA agent to be. Not the next John Casey… Not her living nightmare…

They arrived at the house. It was a small, white all American dream home. The NSA had certainly gone out of their way to create the illusion of a happy home for the two of them. Thankfully, they didn't have to sleep in the same bed or even in the same room. Sarah was not comfortable enough with Chuck to share a bed.

Sarah made sure Chuck went to bed but not before she'd made him take the tablets that the NSA had given her. The psychiatrist had told her that they were pretty strong sleeping pills, designed for her fact that the NSA wanted him to take pills to give her calm nights had made her a bit scared and she decided to sleep with one eye open.

As she had predicted, Sarah did not get much sleep that night. The images of Chuck at the NSA facility kept her up, thinking about how the hell she was going to control this potential killing machine.

A new morning dawned as Chuck started to wake up. He felt groggy and still a bit tired. He stretched and stepped out of bed, enjoying the feeling of not waking up between four solid concrete walls. Just looking out of the window, seeing birds and trees and… He lost his train of thought. He shook his head, trying to wake up properly. A nice shower would be a great way to start his day. So he did just that and didn't stop until his fingers started to get wrinkled. A quick shave with the electric razor he'd found and then he strolled into the kitchen, starving. He started to make breakfast when he realized that he had no idea where Sarah was. Looking around, he saw her sleeping on the couch with a blanket laying askew over her body. He tip-toed up to the couch before leaning in close to her ear.

"Good morning, sunshine," Chuck whispered in her ear, stroking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Faster then he could react, Sarah was on her feet, pointing a knife in his direction.

"Whooooah! Sarah, it's just me! Not murder guy or something, just me… Calm down!" Chuck tried to look as friendly as possible, convinced that she must have had a really bad dream.

"Chuck, do not sneak up on me! Ok? Never! Do you hear me?"

She sounded… scared? What the hell?

"Sarah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, ok?" She still didn't relax and Chuck started to feel stressed. What was wrong with her? Then he caught a glimpse of her laptop, seeing himself on the screen with the words "Extremely Dangerous" attached to his name.

"What is this? Are you researching me?!" Chuck could feel the anger building up inside of him. He tried his best to remain calm, but failed miserably.

Sarah was unable to keep her calm and started to shout at him.

"Yes, Chuck. I am! I had to! You're not the same person anymore. How am I supposed to know what has happened to you if I hadn't researched?!"

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?! You could've asked me! I'm still the same person, Sarah! I am!"

"Of course you are Chuck… The Chuck I knew stabbed people and got into fights all the time…" Sarcasm filled her voice as she saw him getting angrier by the minute, the muscles in his jaw and hands clenching.

"That's not fair, ok Sarah!? You try loosing the person you loved and then being locked up! When all you want to do is die and be rid of this world; to be free of the pain! You try it and see if you can do it, because I sure as hell can't!!" Chuck screamed at her, pouring out his frustrations for the time that had passed.

"You loved Casey?" Sarah couldn't believe what she was hearing.

Chuck wasn't able to answer. He felt himself going numb as he slumped on the couch and buried his face in his hands.

"…yes..."

Sarah took a deep breath and steadied herself as she sat down next to him. "Chuck, I'm sorry… I never knew that you… that you liked Casey"

He laughed, a small desperate laugh full of agony. "Neither did I, Sarah. Neither did I… I realized it after…"

He took a deep breath, trying to keep the tears at bay.

"…after he was gone" Sarah filled the gap, stroking Chuck's back and trying to calm him down.

Chuck lifted his head and looked at her. His eyes were so sad and yet his body trembled with pent up frustration.

"Sarah, don't take this the wrong way, but I need you to leave me… Please? Before I do something I'll regret…." He took a deep breath and rested his forehead in his hands.

She took him at his word, and left for the kitchen while watching him on the surveillance monitor that sat on the counter. She saw him get up and walk around aimlessly, frustration obvious, and then slam his fist into the wall, creating a hole. Chuck felt pain rush through his body, momentarily forgetting about his anger. He allowed the surge of adrenaline to spread through his body. Pain and adrenaline. He enjoyed the mix.

Sarah picked up her phone and dialed. "I need him to start his training now, are you prepared?" A pause. "Good. Pick him up within the hour."

A while after, Sarah heard a car approaching. She looked out the window to see the black town car.

"Chuck? Would you please get in here?" She did her best to keep her voice even, though she could feel it tremble.

"Coming!" A moment later, Chuck strolled into the kitchen, dried blood covering his knuckles.

"Chuck, you should get that cleaned up. I'll give you a hand."

She took his hand and guided him towards the sink where she started to clean the wound.

"Look… Sarah… It's not you. I don't have a problem with you… It's all me and I know I'm screwed, always and forever, ok?" Chuck looked at her with an honest expression as he apologized.

"It's alright, Chuck. And you're not screwed, just… " She didn't know what to say that wouldn't be a blatant lie.

"Right now you're being picked up to go to the training centre so please take it easy and try to stay calm, ok?"

"I'll do my best. I promise you, I'll do my best to become an obedient NSA agent and do everything Beckman tells me to. Become an obedient lapdog…"

He looked at her with sadness in his eyes, before he dried off his hands and walked out to the car.

The ride was about an hour and he felt the car leaving paved roads and going onto dirt ones, telling him that they were not anywhere near civilization. The car stopped and the door was opened, the sunlight blocking whoever it was standing outside the car.

"Welcome . We've been expecting you." A female voice greeted him and as he stepped out of the car he saw her face. A thirty something year old woman with her brown hair tied up in a pony tail , winding its way down her back. She looked kind and Chuck relaxed.

"My name is Rena, and I'll be your contact here at the centre. Would you please follow me?" She turned and walked towards the nearest building. Chuck looked around and was surprised. It didn't look anything like what he'd imagined an NSA training centre would look like. Instead it looked like a nice B & B with lodges laid out in a circle.

"This is where your training will take place, . If you´ll step inside, please, we can start your first lesson."

"What? Already? But I'm not prepared. What am I supposed to do?" Chuck found himself getting nervous, not a good thing as his nerves were already pretty frayed.

"It's nothing to worry about. This is a basic lesson in hand to hand combat. Beginner level." Rena smiled at him, but it didn't make him feel any better.

He stepped inside and was met by a man dressed in jeans and a t-shirt who looked friendly. The house was empty except for weaponry along the walls and the NSA logo on the back wall. No carpets or anything.

"Hi, I'm Chuck. And you are?"

"I'm Kim. Your instructor. Welcome! I've learned about your situation, , and I will do my best to help you. But time is not on our side. Should we start our training?" His voice was deep and to the point and Chuck felt that there was more to this man than what he showed.

"Now? Like right away? I really know nothing about fighting and I'm not even warmed up.." Chuck knew he sounded corny, but he really wasn't prepared for this.

"I don't believe you, Chuck. I've seen what you can do... when you put your mind to it." Kim looked at him with an unreadable expression on his face.

"I've seen the videos from when you where held at the NSA medical facility. I know what damage you can cause with your bare hands. I want you to show me."

Chuck couldn't believe what he was hearing. Had everyone seen those videos? Was it something they sent around at the NSA, like 'look at the psycho'.

"Look, Kim, I'm trying real hard not to, you know… I really don't feel like fighting you. I know I'm gonna get my ass kicked, so let's not, ok?" Chuck felt the tension building in him, and he wasn't sure how long he would last without jumping the guy.

"Listen to me, Chuck. You're here so that I can help you control your strength, to your own benefit. Right now you're just a reasonably strong guy with poor technique. But in order for me to teach you, I'll need to see what you're about."

Chuck shook his head, not willing to enter that state of mind, even in this controlled environment.

"Who was it who trained you? Before you went haywire?"

Chuck's head snapped toward Kim, staring at him with a menacing look in his eyes.

"Don't go there, Kim. I'm telling you to leave it alone…"

"John Casey wasn't it? You'd think an agent of his capacity would've taught you better than that…"

Chuck felt himself getting tunnel-vision and all that he could see at the end of that tunnel was a man who was about to get himself beaten to a bloody pulp. He had no business talking about Casey like that…

"Leave. It. Alone," Chuck snarled at his teacher who still smiled at him, taking a few steps closer.

"Why's that Chuck? You think you can hurt me? I'm not a defenseless nurse; an easy target… That's what you like isn't it?"

Chuck closed the distance between them and grabbed Kim by the shirt, twisting it between in his hand.

"I'm not scared of you Chuck…" Kim whispered before he grabbed ahold of the hand tangled in his shirt and almost broke Chuck's thumb.

Chuck winced but didn't let go. Instead he brought his other hand up and placed it around the other man's throat, squeezing hard and making it hard for Kim to get any air.

A hard kick in Chuck's gut did the trick, though, and he let go, feeling the adrenaline coursing through his body.

"I didn't think you had it in you, Chuck. But you're just as cold as any agent. You're just as cold as, well, you know. You wouldn't have hesitated to choke me, would you?"

Chuck shook his head.

"If I'm going to be honest with you, Kim, no." Chuck scared himself with that answer although he was getting used to not caring about his own or other people's lives.

Kim smiled a slightly crooked smile, before slipping into combat mode again.

"Well, Chuck, I've got you to myself all day. Shall we begin?"

Chuck didn't stop to think as he was overcome with a feeling of want. Wanting blood and wanting pain as he charged forward. The old Chuck was nowhere to be seen…

They spent the entire day training together, Chuck still not being able to fight without working himself into a frenzy. And when he did put up a fight, it wasn't controlled or skilled like Kim wanted, just fighting blindly, hitting anything or anyone that came in his way. Right before the car came and picked him up to drive him 'home', Kim gave Chuck a quick pat on the back. "You'll be alright Chuck, trust me"

That's how he spent the month to come. Training with Kim, learning techniques that would help him cope with almost every situation that he could end up facing as an NSA agent or as the Intersect.

He'd improved, not up to agent standards, but at least he was able to control himself. He learned to not take it personally every time Kim got in a good hit, making him spin across the room before he ungracefully landed on the hard floor.

When Chuck went home to his and Sarah's house, she'd begun to see changes in him. He was able to keep up a normal life and she found that she had begun to feel more relaxed around him. The sudden outbursts and the emotional tension emanating from him had decreased and it made the living together easier.

But there was one thing that Chuck couldn't bring himself to do yet and that was meeting his sister or Morgan. It wasn't easy to stay away but he found himself unable to face them yet. He wasn't the same person anymore and of course his sister and best friend would notice. To face them and act all relaxed after his and Sarah's 'around the world' trip wasn't something he looked forward to. No, one thing at the time. He had to make sure he was stable before seeing them.

Eventually, he'd started to look forward to going to the training centre, enjoying his daily routine with Kim and as the next month rolled over, he'd started to train with weapons. He sort of liked handling guns. It was the same thing as working with computers, and he could take parts from different guns and build his own. He'd soon manufactured his own personalized version of the NSA standard automatic, which earned him recognition from his trainers. He wasn't a marksman but he was well on his way, hitting moving targets and targets at a distance.

One day he left the shooting range to take a walk, needing to clear his mind. He strolled absentmindedly into the woods next to the centre, making his way up a small path that winded alongside a creek. It felt nice to be alone for once and he kept walking, enjoying the silence.

Soon the woods opened up into a huge clearing, with the creek on its far side. This wasn't some undiscovered treasure he'd wandered upon, more of a recreation site with benches and tables scattered along the edges, leaving the middle part of the clearing empty.

His eyes narrowed, seeing someone sitting at one of the benches, not far from him. All kinds of thoughts flew through his head. Was this a test? Was it Kim, prepared to ambush him as he passed by or just another agent resting?

He slowed down his pace, slowly walking towards the person that still hadn't moved. Something familiar rushed through his mind as he came closer, something he remembered.

His heart almost stopped and he felt his lungs constricting, unable to get any air.

It couldn't be...

"…Casey?"

Unbeknownst to himself, he started to run towards the person on the bench.

It couldn't be...

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