Beta; black_angel_ from chapter 6 *thank you darling*
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"CASEY!!!"
Chuck screamed at the top of his lungs, feeling panic surge through him as he ran and adrenaline pumping through his veins. He'd never run as fast as he did in his whole life but it felt like he was hardly moving. A thousand thoughts rushed through his mind but he was unable to make sense of any of it.
"Chuck?! What the hell?" Casey sat there, looking utterly confused as he saw the younger man running towards him. Then he rose, quickly, and felt a stab of pain shooting through his back. It burned but he ignored it and stood to face the man he'd thought had been dead.
Chuck stopped within five feet and stared, barely able to catch his breath.
"You're dead…? I mean, how are you here? You're dead, Casey… What?" Chuck was unable to stop the tears that were brimming in his eyes and he could feel his body starting to shake.
Casey said nothing, wasn't able to, as he stared at Chuck. His asset was alive… It was unbelievable, unfathomable… How? After what he'd seen had happened with Chuck, he wasn't supposed to be alive. Casey's usually well organized trace of thought got lost as confusion took its place.
As he continued to stare at Chuck, he saw the changes that had taken place with the younger man. He looked stronger, leaner and very, very worn… Age had caught up with him, the look of childish innocence erased and was replaced with something else that he wasn't sure of what.
"Casey….answer me, please?" Chuck was staring at him, tears flowing freely and his entire body shaking hard. It hurt just to look at him.
"I thought you were dead Chuck… " Casey's voice was deep and so very low that Chuck wasn't sure if he was talking to him or to himself.
"I thought you were dead Chuck, I really did, and now you're here… What has happened to you?" Casey's voice had picked up in strength and sounded concerned as he let his eyes wander across the younger mans face.
"Nothing, everything, I'm ok. What about you? Are you… ok?"
Casey looked him straight in the eyes, lingering longer than he'd ever done before whilst talking to Chuck.
"To be frank; no. Our mutual 'friend' gave me a few memories that haven't quite healed yet…"
Chuck wasn't able to answer. His throat felt constricted as he saw images of what their captor had made Casey go through.
He lowered his head, feeling guilty. He couldn't believe this was happening; meeting a dead man when walking in the woods. A man that he tried to end his own life because of…
"Casey, have you've been here all this time?"
"Nah, just the last month. They've kept me sedated for a long time when they fixed my back."
Chuck stepped forward, closing the distance between them, noticing that Casey didn't take a step back.
"Casey… don't freak... please. I just need to make sure…"
With those words he leaned in and put his arms around Casey's neck and rested his head under his chin.
He heard, and felt, as Casey inhaled deeply before letting out a big sigh of relief.
"What do you need to make sure, Chuck?"
"You… I need you to be you…"
Casey smiled.
"I'm real. But I'm having trouble believing that you are."
Chuck tightened the embrace, crying and smiling at the same time.
"Casey, can we go somewhere and talk?"
"Yeah, we can go to my house."
"You have a house?"
Casey grinned.
"Of course I do. Senior officers privilege…"
They walked back in silence, casting occasional glances at each other, making sure that this was really happening. They soon reached Casey's house, a decent sized building at the far end of the centre, with a small lake stretching out behind the house.
"Well, come on in," Casey gestured at Chuck, letting him pass through the door.
It was not what Chuck had expected. Not at all…
The house was decorated as though a really wealthy and important business man lived there. Luxurious kitchen, all black with stainless steel appliances. As he walked into the living room, he was stunned…
The room was dominated by a huge fireplace, carved out of gray stone with a large sheepskin rug in front of it. Across from the fireplace was a well sized couch made out of white, polished leather. The walls were covered with different kinds of modern artworks and at the end of the room were huge sliding doors leading out to the lake outside, perfect for an evening swim.
"Casey! I'm impressed. Your work?"
"Nah, I told them what I didn't want, and this is what I got. You like it?"
"Yes! Yes, I like. I'm just a bit… I don't know, always pictured you to be more of the bunk bed, sleep in a tent, sort of a guy, you know?"
Casey huffed, loudly.
"I don't mind things being comfortable, Chuck. I don't need things to be comfortable, that's the difference."
Chuck looked at him, looking sheepish.
"I'm sorry Casey, I didn't mean to… you know?"
"I know Chuck. How about we grab something to eat?" He could hear Chuck's stomach rumbling from across the room.
Chuck nodded and followed Casey as he went into the kitchen and started to fry up a couple of steaks.
"Could you start the salad?" Casey looked at Chuck who was busy staring at Casey's neck.
"What? Um, yeah, sure!" He went over to the fridge and was struck with the absurdity of the situation. He was cooking with Casey, and both men were bubbling with questions, but no one was willing to break the illusion of everything being ok.
They finished preparing the food and then they ate in silence. There was no awkward silence, which was awkward enough…
After dinner, Casey got up and started clearing the table, leaving a very confused Chuck by the table, aching to talk about what had happened over the last months. He heard Casey rustling about in the kitchen and then he walked out, passing by Chuck to head in to the bathroom.
Chuck was lost, what was going on and why weren't they talking?
Suddenly, Casey appeared from the bathroom, in swim clothes…
"I'm taking a dip. If you feel like joining in, clothes are in the bathroom."
"What? A swim? Now? It's almost ten and you wanna go swimming? Isn't it cold?"
"Nah, just refreshing!" Casey smiled and walked straight through the living room, pushed aside the sliding doors and disappeared into the darkness.
It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to Chuck, he just didn't know how to. Cooking, cleaning and acting normal kept the charade up for a while longer. And Casey couldn't sort out his feelings, they were all muddled up. When he'd seen Chuck earlier today, he'd wanted to take Chuck in his arms and never let go.
But he wasn't sure what he felt. How was he supposed to know when he had already buried his feelings towards Chuck when he was informed of his asset's death?
It was hard to grasp this thing between them. Not long ago, even though it felt like an eternity, Chuck had been his asset, the one that Casey was prepared to give his life for to protect because it was his job. Keep Chuck safe – keep the nation safe.
Simple.
The way Casey liked it. He liked his world to be black and white with the occasional shade of grey, but usually it had been Casey who'd decided when circumstances demanded a more 'grey' approach. Because of his asset - because of Chuck - Casey's world turned more grey by the minute and it wasn't something he could control. Unbeknownst to Casey, more and more colors had begun to find themselves into his life, and they usually shone the brightest when Chuck was around.
He'd come to appreciate the nerd herder's company. The kid had proven himself to Casey, taking better care of himself on missions than anyone had expected. And not before long, he'd caught himself smiling when Chuck cracked some stupid joke or when he debated with Morgan over some technical thing that made absolutely no sense to anyone. Sure, he'd tried to keep up his 'bad ass' façade, but Chuck had slowly broken down his hard demeanor and replaced it with some sort of… affection?
Casey ran his hand through his hair and sighed deeply as he walked towards the lake.
He was so long gone…
A minute later, a big splash was heard and Chuck still hadn't moved. He tried to grasp what was happening, confusion being the word.
He got up and headed out through the sliding doors, seeing nothing. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he started to see the edges of the lake and rocks that formed almost like a natural pier. He looked around, trying to see Casey but he was nowhere to be found. Not even a sound was heard and he started get nervous.
"Casey? Where are you? You're freaking me out…"
Still nothing and Chuck started pacing the edge of the water, hoping to get a glimpse of the agent. He stopped at the edge of the water, feeling his feet getting wet, but that didn't bother him as much as Casey's disappearance.
With a small yelp of surprised, Chuck was dragged into the water, kicking and waving his arms.
"Casey!!! What the hell?!" Chuck spluttered and tried to keep the hair out of his face as he spat out water.
"Oh, relax Bartowski. I'm just checking to see if your training has been successful. I have to say, I'm a bit disappointed…" Casey smiled and took a hold of Chuck's shoulders to stabilize the other man.
"Well, I wasn't all that prepared for an evening tutorial, Casey!" Chuck glared at him, not wanting Casey to realize just how much he liked the feeling of those strong hands on his shoulders, keeping him steady.
They were standing waist deep in the cold lake, water slowly trickling down Casey's torso and Chuck felt his eyes travelling south… He was interrupted by the feel of Casey's hand lifting his chin so that they could make eye contact.
"Your life is a tutorial, Chuck, and you have to be prepared to defend yourself. I'm not going to be able to protect you all the time…" Casey tried to sound somewhat stern but failed miserably as concern colored his voice. He cleared his throat and looked at Chuck.
"Obviously I failed when you needed me the most."
Chuck tried to understand what he was talking about. His mind raced.
"What are you talking about? Do you mean Marcus? There´s no way you could've stopped that, Casey! Ok? Don't blame yourself!"
"I'm not… I'm not talking about Marcus. I'm talking about… after. I should've been there for you Chuck."
Chuck stood in the water, stunned. Did Casey actually care for him? Maybe he hadn't imagined things after all…
"Wait a minute. You said that you thought I was dead. How do you know about… what I've been through?" Chuck couldn't put the pieces together, it didn't fit…
"You know that I told you that I thought you were dead, right? I was presented with a video of you…"
"…of youtrying to commit suicide. And you know what Chuck?"
Casey paused, rubbing his eyes, whispering…
"It hurt… It hurt hearing you scream, and for some reason, screaming my name."
"…Casey! I'm sorry you had to see that, but I didn't die. They fixed me and then I tricked the psychiatrists so I could get out and now I'm here so…" He'd gone in to the traditional Bartowski rambling mode.
Casey's eyes were hard as steel.
"You what?"
"I what, what?" Chuck was at a lost.
"You tricked the psychiatrists? So you're still suicidal?"
Leave it to Casey to cut to the chase…
"No, Casey I'm not. At least not now. Could we get out of the water, please? I'm really cold…"
Casey took a step closer to Chuck. They were standing mere inches apart as Casey took his hand and placed it on Chuck's chest, right over his heart. The touch travelled through Chuck's body as though he'd been touched by electricity.
"I don't care that you're not 'stable' Chuck, I just care that you are here… with me."
They stared at each other for a long moment until Casey broke eye contact.
"Come on, let's get you dried off."
With that Casey strode out of the water towards the house with a very surprised Chuck walking behind him.
They went into the house and both of them put bathrobes on, before settling in front of the fire. In just a few minutes they were sitting on the floor of the living room, just relaxing.
Casey had a glass of bourbon in his hand and was leaned back against the couch, relaxing and actually enjoying the company of NSA agent to be, Chuck Bartowski.
Contrary to what other people thought, Casey liked this new version of Chuck. He was able to defend himself, quite well, and handle weapons and most importantly… he could be quiet…
Not to mention the body of new Chuck… He cast a sideways glance when Chuck was looking around the room. If Casey had feelings towards Chuck before, it was nothing compared to the physical attraction he now felt. He'd been given a second chance to act on his instincts, to touch his former asset in ways that was outlawed in several countries. Casey's mind wandered, imagining all sorts of things that he wanted to try, only to be interrupted by Chuck.
"It's nice here Casey. Homey." Chuck smiled, closed his eyes and leaned back, touching Casey's shoulder. Casey huffed, a friendly sort of huff, and took a sip of his drink, his mind wandering once again.
Chuck threaded his fingers through the fur of the sheepskin they were sitting on as he carefully let his eyes wonder over Casey's body.
The NSA agent was well muscled, not as well defined as Chuck, but still hard and toned with the occasional scar across his chest. Chuck could see the reflections from the fire dancing on Casey's glistening torso and had to fight to keep himself from licking his lips. He could also see the scars on Casey's back and neck that shone bright red after their swim, but somehow that just added to the sexiness of John Casey. In the state of mind Chuck was in, Casey would've been considered sexy wearing a potato sack…
"Like what you see, Bartowski?" Casey hadn't opened his eyes, a small smile played in the corner of his mouth.
Chuck jumped, immediately turning bright red.
"What? Oh, no I wasn't, I mean, not that you're not, you know... wow!, you are, but, it's just… I'm rambling again aren't I?"
"Yes, you are. Just keep quiet and enjoy the silence. And your drink, you haven't even touched it." Casey couldn't help but laugh quietly. Chuck looked like cooked crab, all red and flushed.
Chuck swallowed, looking at Casey as the agent downed some of the bourbon, not making a face, just a content smile when the drink hit his throat.
The younger man picked up his glass, smelled it and felt a shiver pass through his body, but not the good kind of shiver. It smelled awful.
"What the hell, I'll give it a try." He gave himself at mental cheer of encouragement, before he took a big sip and then it hit him. He understood why Casey loved his bourbon…
It burned.
It burned away all his stress and aches, he was only able to focus on the fire in his throat.
It felt wonderful.
He noticed Casey watching him, intently.
"You see?"
"Mmm, absolutely… But doesn't this mean that just really troubled people, meaning you and me, enjoy bourbon?"
Casey held up his glass in a toast.
"Hear, hear"
They sat on the floor for about an hour or two, not talking, just enjoying the silence and the burn of the bourbon.
Casey took it slow, knowing very well just how a few too many of that drink could knock a man out. Chuck on the other hand… He'd drunk half a bottle, loving the burn, wondering why he hadn't tried it before. There's no way he was going back to cheap beer or colored drinks.
After a while, Chuck slumped on the floor, feeling very relaxed and trouble free.
"… Casey, I love it here, let's never leave… please?" Casey didn't answer him, he just let one of his rare laughs find its way out.
"… see, that's what I mean. You're gorgeous when you laugh, Casey… you know?" Chuck's inner censorship had clocked out and somewhere in his drunken haze, Chuck knew but didn't care. It felt too good not to care.
"And you're obviously very flamboyant when you're drunk"
"Am not!"
"Yes. You. Are." Casey pronounced every syllable with emphasis, finding the situation hilarious.
Chuck decided that the best cause of action was to climb onto the couch, almost landing on top of Casey, smacking him gently on head.
"Watch it Bartowski… " Casey growled at him, a fact that Chuck chose to ignore.
"I'm not scared of you, Mr. Big Man, I'm an agent. Soon I can fight! Come on!"
When Casey chose to ignore him, Chuck smacked him again, harder.
Before he could react, Chuck felt himself being flung through the air before he ungracefully landed on his back in front of Casey, with the older man's hand on his throat. Casey leaned in close, almost resting his torso against Chuck's.
"This what you wanted, Chuck? Huh?" Casey felt himself slur, the alcohol doing its job. It felt nice.
"… Casey, please…" Chuck whispered.
Casey leaned in to try and hear what he said.
"Please what, Bartowski?"
"…"
"What?!"
"… please… kiss me…"
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