T.T…. I know, last chapter was so SAD!
But it was needed. It was the chapter where story of an Angel was born, the very first chapter I wrote!
Okay, so this chapter is dedicated to xxVICTORIAxx for reviewing each and every chapter!
Thank you so much, it makes my day to read your reviews every time and it inspires me to write more.
THANX VICTORIA!
So, this story I partly wrote at school (what else to do at school right?) with my always faithful notepad...
Don't know why I'm saying that so I'll just let you go read the story…
Enjoy
Nick PoV
I closed the journal and swallowed. 'Wow…' Kevin whispered. 'That was…'
'Agreed, that was one of the most heartbreaking things I have ever read, seen or felt in my entire life.' Joe finished his sentence. A tone of disbelieve in his normally happy voice.
I just threw the journal away from me, anger pounding through my veins. Disbelief, helplessness and a broken feeling I couldn't place were fighting for attention in my head.
'The monster! The bloody! The filthy…'
I couldn't find words that described the rage and the hate I was feeling for the man that did this to her... She worked, cared and had givin' up everything and what had she gotten in return?
Beatings, cuts and bad words, which hurt even more then the beatings itself.
She was destroyed, destroyed by her own father, when she only was trying to protect her little brother. Like he should have done, like he didn't.
And after that her drunk, sick masochistic monster of a father killed the only reason left in her life, killed her little brother, poor Angel blamed herself.
Because she wasn't strong enough after all the times he had hurt her so badly, because she wasn't conscious enough after the hits the kicks the stabs and the cuts. He had abused her so badly after her mom died, that when his rage took over completely, she was to hurt to stop him.
She blamed that on herself.
She had taken care of both her father and little brother when she was like what? 12 years old! Giving up everything for them and accepted the mood and pain from her father with the loss of her mother. I was amazed how strong she was. Amazed, touched, but mostly heavily feeling the guilt and the hurt she must be feeling 100 times worse.
She had never screamed when her father took his own anger and sadness out on her. Never one word, because she didn't want to scare her brother.
Her own angel, the boy with the huge smile, the only reason she stayed with her father.
He was her meaning of life, and he was killed by her own father, the father she protected as well, never gave him in for abuse.
You would be silent after that too.
'Damn it!' I yelled.
'The monster!' Joe exclaimed
'Poor Angel.' Kevin whispered.
We looked at each other and saw the same anger and helplessness mirrored in their eyes. What had happened to Angel was far worse then any of us could ever imagine.
She would have killed herself by now if her little brother didn't gave his life to protect her, after she had protected him for so long.
I wondered how she could continue, ripped from everything, ripped from what tied her to this world.
I sat down on the bed. Head in my hands as I saw Joe sink to the ground. Kevin gasped…
I looked up, in the doorstep, half hidden in the shadows stood Angel. She was holding the notepad with the papers she wrote on this morning.
'Angel!' I gasped, making Joe look up too. 'Angel… How, what, I'm…' I started.
'How long have you been there?' Joe asked. She very slowly wrote on the notepad.
I found you reading
I walked to her. 'Angel…' I whispered. I put my arms around her. 'How…' I swallowed and tried to speak again put she pushed me off.
Well she tried, couldn't do it on her own so I let her go
She wrote again, longer and even more slowly this time. Head bent down, shoulders hanging. Her dark hair fell in front of her face. Her green eyes hidden.
'Angel, we wanted to help, we wanted to know what happened to you.' I said, still standing 4 feet away from her, but dieing to get to her and hug her together again.
She dropped the notepad, turned around and walked away. I stared after her. I knew this hadn't been a good idea, but I still thought it was the only way. Joe picked up the notepad lying at my feet. He frowned. 'Nick…' He said and showed me the pad.
Sorry you saw that, sorry I bothered you with that, I'm sorry you hate me now
No, no, how could she think that. Didn't she see that none of this was her fault? Didn't she know? We loved her, she was our little sister.
She was the most amazing strong and selfless person on this whole world, in our opinion.
I didn't know when I started to run; I just knew I had to find her. I looked everywhere in the house, calling her name.
I went outside and ran till my sides hurt like hell, but compared to the pain she must be feeling, that was nothing.
Compared to the hole in her heart, everything turned to nothing.
I didn't found her. She was nowhere to be found.
When it turned completely dark outside I slowly walked home. Greeted there by and extremely worried Stella, Macie in tears hugged by Joe who also got some tear marks on his cheeks.
Kevin embraced me. 'It's not your fault Nick. I knew I was against it, but it was the right thing to do. She would've never told us on her own.' He said.
'I know.' I whispered a bump in my throat. 'But I still hurt her. Again and I can't stand that.'
Kevin sat back on the couch. I saw dad making angry movements to a phone in the kitchen, while mom sat on a kitchen chair, biting her nails. Looking even more worried then Stella.
Stella hugged me also. 'No trace of her? Nothing at all?' She asked. I shook my head, no.
'Her room?' no. 'The park?' no. 'The music studio?' no. 'The mall, the book shop?' NO!
I sat down on the ground. Stella named all the places she loved and would go to. Where was she?
'Did I miss any more places she likes?' Stella asked.
'Wait!' Joe almost shrieked. 'I know where she is!'
I immediately stood in front of him. Grabbing his shirt. 'Where?'
'Roof.' He answered simply. Of course.
In a matter of seconds I fled up the stairs and went to the window. I ran up the iron stairs and saw her.
She was sitting there, picture of sadness and pain. Hugging her legs.
'Angel! Angel…' I whispered. 'I'm so sorry, so, so sorry.' She just looked up at me. Pain I have never seen before in her eyes.
'We don't hate you Angel. We never could. Nothing of it was your fault, we love you!' I said. Trying to convince her. Trying to make better what only she herself could heal.
If she only let me in.
I heard the rest of them coming up the stairs. They stood still when they saw us. Both in pain. Different pains, but alike in so many ways.
I continued. 'What happened to you is horrible, what happened to Stephen, your mother, your father is terrible! Nobody blames you for being the way you are Angel. Nobody hates you for what you did, when you did so well.'
Kevin fell in. 'You did everything you could, you never let him down, never ever could you let us down. You're so brave and strong, caring.'
Joe finished. 'You did extremely well, for someone in your position. Hell, even better then people who are in a way better position. You can't blame yourself Sissy! It wasn't your fault! Never! How can it be, when you worked so hard, did so well.'
Macie stepped up. 'I don't really know what happened; I just know you're one of the first persons that I immediately trusted.'
Stella also tried to help. 'Pain is good, Angel. In a way. I know it is hard, but it let's you see you did everything; you aren't the monster the murderer here! It let's us see that you are willing to risk your own life to safe another.
'Honey, you're great, what you did, how you react after what you have probably been through. Please, let us help you; I know we can't heal you immediately.' My mom said and my father continued. 'Angel, we love you.'
I noticed Angel was crying, just like a lot of persons here on the roof. I hugged her. Followed by Joe, Macie, Kevin, Stella, mom and dad.
We hugged her and each other. 'Cry, Angel. It's okay. We will be there for you.'
She trembled; her little body shook of the sobs and the tears.
'It's all over Angel, you're safe with us.' I whispered in her ear. She heard it, she believed it.
I felt her body relax, leaning more in to us. Eventually, her eyes dropped and her body, exhausted probably, went limp.
'She's asleep.' I whispered, I was exhausted also. I saw Kevin lift up Angel. She was going to sleep good tonight, I just knew. No nightmares to wake her up. Not tonight, they would be there, but not now.
She was safe; she was okay, as okay as she could be.
Right?
Joe PoV
I woke up the next morning, by little nudges against my sides. I watched to the sides, Macie leaning against my shoulder. Softly turning in her sleep.
I smiled, I really liked Macie, maybe as more then a friend A/N yeah, Macie/Joe, for Victoria, saw it on your profile, right?
As I started to recall the previous day, I got more worried. I remembered hugging and soothing Macie and Stella, Kevin not much of a help, although Macie was the closest with him, but seriously. I didn't mind.
Nick had been busy enough with Angel… Angel, the little sister I always wanted. One I could help and spoil and ruin her chances with boys.
Though, this was a little bit different then I imagined. Angel was an amazing little creature; I knew she was very nice and once very happy and living.
I felt so sorry for her and if I ever got to meet that creep that called himself her biological father…
Really I didn't think he deserved the title father, my own father had been a better father to her then he had been.
I felt Macie turn again and I wondered where the rest of em was.
I looked around, we half lied half sat on the couch in the living room, we must have fallen asleep there.
I saw Kevin lying in a very uncomfortable looking position on the small love chair.
I had no idea were mom and dad were, Angel was probably in bed as was Nick. My poor little brother, he took so many responsibilities, way to much for him to be healthy.
Then, he was the best at it. The way he had formed a bond with Angel, I was really amazed and impressed with that.
How he had gotten her from a thin as air, almost falling apart, don't-look-at-me-I'm-not-here, to a small, in pain, please help me, person was amazing.
That didn't sound like it was better, but it was. The reaction he had gotten out of Angel, after only such little time was really amazing.
At first, she let nobody in. She was completely alone on the world, but he broke through, like only Nick can do. He got such an incredible bond with her. Like I have with Stella and Kevin has with Macie… I looked aside, she looked really peaceful. Did all girls look so innocent asleep? Angel had exactly the same, when she wasn't having nightmares.
We tried to help her as much as we could, but she was so hurt, I didn't even know where to begin.
Kevin had some sort of a clue, I guess, but not much more then me. My mother of course had used her incredible female instincts to get Angel to ease.
My father, he was as clueless as I was…
Macie yawned and her eyes flickered open. She blinked as she realised how she was lying. Blushing she sat up straight. Looking in all directions, but me.
I laughed, softly and said: 'good morning, up for a cup of coffee?' She looked at me surprised and I smiled my biggest smile (really it's huge!) at her.
She smiled back and we walked to the kitchen.
My father sitting there, reading the paper. 'Hey Joes, hey Macie!' He reacted.
'Hey dad!' I said, grabbed two cups of coffee and fell down next to him, Macie seated on my other side.
I gave her the coffee and she thankfully started drinking.
'Guys, I have to go. I got called by the police station, you know, after the whole 'your fathers in jail' thing.' My father said to us, drinking the last bit of his coffee out of his cup and walked away.
Before he left he turned around once more and threw the paper at me. 'Here, read this and make sure Nick reads it too, he'll love it!' he said
I opened the paper, curious, Macie looking with me over my shoulder.
I saw something about cheap oranges in the supermarket, something about Iraq and the president going there, jail outbreak in the south of the country and some sort of superstar got caught on drugs use and even selling it to other people. Stupid people. Drugs destroyed lives, when would people finally see that? I wondered.
After skipping through some pages I found the article my father probably was referring to.
CCC coming up! The title said and underneath that stood: This year with popular rock band the Jonas Brothers as special guests.
It was a really nice article, with a lot of praising for our choice of singing with our stylist. I was really proud of myself, I mean; it had been my idea, right?
They also referred to our new sister and wished her good luck with us. I laughed at that part. Like she was worried about US.
I was really thrilled about the CCC's. It was one of the biggest charity concerts ever and it would give us a lot of good publicity, probably like bringing out a new CD and we would get a lot of new public. With also, not-fans coming to the CCC's. That would be really cool. Connecting with another group of music lovers.
Especially Nick was really thrilled about it. It had been his dream for years to perform at the CCC's. I liked it that he was going to sing with my best friend, Stella was a really good singer, she was just so shy!
Talking about Stella. She walked in to the kitchen; she had probably just gotten downstairs from the guestroom and had woken Kevin up.
They both walked into the kitchen and I threw the paper at Kevin. 'Kev, you have to read this!'
He looked at me and sarcastically said: 'Joe, I already know drugs ruin your life, I'm not interested in Oranges and the outbreaks will be back in jail in no time.'
I rolled my eyes, but laughed when I saw the teasing glim in Kevin's eyes. 'Not that, page 3.'
He was also thrilled about the article; I could tell he couldn't wait to play his beloved guitar up on the CCC stage.
Stella gave him a cup of coffee also and we made some jokes about oranges until Nick came down, Angel following close behind.
'Hey Sissy! Hey bro!' I laughed enthusiastically.
'Hey Joe.' Nick said and Angel came sitting in the chair my father had previously been sitting in.
'Joe… you can be so weir sometimes, do you know that?' Stella said. 'Why does everybody keep repeating that?' I asked, mock annoyed.
A paper got placed in my hands. Because you are… it said.
'Gee, thanks Angel, way to go and help your brother.' I said, pretending to be hurt.
She couldn't have that and hugged me.
It surprised me; the physical contact wasn't really one of Angel's specialties.
'So, are you feeling a bit better?' Macie asked. Angel looked at Nick, the weird thing I had seen before going on between them.
He answered for her.
'She feels better, knowing we all really care about her. We talked a lot this morning.' he started, but I interrupted her/his answer.
'Talked? sorry I have to ask, but how?' I asked directly to Nick.
He bit his lip, thinking before he answered. 'Mostly through the notepad.' He said.
'Oh, okay, continue.'
'Like I said, we talked a lot.' And he refused to say more.
Stupid siblings…
Nick PoV
I didn't say more to my brothers and our best friends, because the talk I had with Angel was very personal.
We had been sitting on her bed, because I immediately checked up on her after I woke up. She had been all right, like I predicted she hadn't suffered from nightmares. So I thought it would be safe to talk about… you know.
'How much does it hurt?' I asked bluntly, it wasn't supposed to blurt out like that, but I guess she didn't mind.
Like there's a hole, cut right through my soul she wrote like happiness is never to return when I think of them and how they will never return to me.
'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked.' I apologised, but she just shook her head.
No, it's okay, it's nice to talk about it, at least with you… her hands flew over the white paper it's not your fault, it hurts, but you make me feel better, in a way.
I smiled 'Good. Talk about everything you want, I'll listen.'
She told me about Stephen, it was hard to listen to, knowing how he found his end, but the stories she told me about him, the smile spreading across her face as she was sitting there, Indian style; legs crossed. I knew it was okay to talk about it, more then that, she needed to talk about it.
You know, I'm happy you were the one to find the journal she wrote I didn't thought anybody could care about me after reading that.
'Why are you thinking that, we all are only more impressed by how strong you've stayed during all of that?'
Maybe it's like that to you, but to me, it's different, I don't know why. I feel weak, because I didn't do anything, anything would've been better, for Stephen as well, even an orphanage.
'You did well; you were only 12, weren't you?'
Eleven…
'Eleven, I mean, what were you supposed to do. Give in your father, give up your brother? It's not weak Angel, it's completely logical what you did.'
Thanks, it means a lot...
I noticed Angel was a really nice person talking to, even with the help of the notepad needed. Easy to talk to, like I had noticed before she was easy in a lot of ways. Easy lovable, easy to talk to. Just not easy getting to, but it was working out.
Yes, I had noticed the weird bond between Angel and me, but I liked it. It's like I can feel her presence. I sort of feel how she's feeling.
Sounds weird right? Even weirder then Joe sometimes.
Something, in the form of a newspaper, harshly ripped me out of my thoughts. 'Hey!' I told the person holding the paper, Joe, naturally. 'What was that for?' I saw a lot of the others giggle. Angel had a slight smile, still hugging herself.
'You were sitting there like a zombie, dude. Really, what were you thinking about? Not that Penny girl again, eh?'
I pulled a disgusted face. 'No, of course not. I was thinking about…' I glanced at Angel, her face curious. 'Chocolate milk! I don't like coffee, want some Angel?' I quickly answered, shooting up.
She nodded, so I gladly made us both some choco hot coco. 'Here you go, madam.' I said and put the chocolate in front of her.
'Nick, will you finally look at the paper now?' Kevin asked a little bit annoyed.
'What about the paper?' I took a sip from my choco.
'Read!' Joe, Macie, Stella and Kevin all yelled.
Me and Angel both almost dropped our cups, I had to put mine down really quick to catch the paper that got thrown my way.
I glanced at the front paper. 'Oranges?' I asked. They seemed to find what I said very funny and started laughing at my confused expression.
'No dummy, not the oranges and not the drugs either, the article is on page th...'
She didn't got to finish her sentence, because Angel sharply gasped, her cup and all of her choco fell to the ground as she stumbled back. Her eyes almost as scared as the day we took her with us from the orphanage.
'Angel, what is it?' I asked. What could've alarmed her?
She pointed at the paper. 'You're not scared of oranges are you?' I asked.
She shook her head no, but the question seemed to calm her down. She walked back and shortly pointed at a small article, pulling her finger back immediately, like she would get burned.
I looked at the article.
Mass jail outbreak in southern California
Is the security of this country going down?
In the article stood a lot of nonsense about security and non schooled guards, followed by a list of escaped criminals.
Damien Calvin
Loyd Adams
Paul McSaint
Paula Johnsson
Tank Savage
Mike Adams
And…
James Stevens…
Damn…
DON'T HATE ME!!
I'm sorry, I admit it… I'm mean; I made ANOTHER cliff-hanger
Still, you could've seen this coming; it's really predictable isn't it…
I just couldn't resist.
I wanted to put some more happiness in this chapter, but this just fled in to my head
Don't cha think Joe is übersweet in this chapter…?
Cause I certainly think so…
As is Nick
And Kevin
And...
You get the point…
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