Chapter 9

Life had been quite hectic these past couple of days. It seemed as if things were moving too fast and I felt like before I knew it, I would be married into a life I never wished for. And having the love off my life separated from me was a painful reminder of this unwanted life.

Seeing Troy each day of my life was hard, and knowing I wasn't allowed to kiss him, hold him, touch him, or be with him ever again was even harder. Knowing I wasn't allowed to love him was horrid, because I still did. None of my feelings I had for him were erased, they were only mixed in with the great deal of pain I was being inflicted. Not physically, but emotionally.

I think I might have just made the biggest step to overcoming my feelings for Troy and moving on to this new life laid out ahead of me. I took everything I had of Troy and put it away.

All my pictures that were cluttered over my dresser or the ones taped to the mirror were thrown on my bed without a second glance. I grabbed the video cassette marked 'Twinkle Town' and gently threw it on with the pile of pictures. It became a routine. Anything that involved Troy was thrown onto the bed, careful not to be damaged. I went to my closet and grabbed his Wildcat sweatshirt he let me keep. Flung on the bed. The necklace he gave me for my birthday. The teddy bear he won me when we spent the entire day at the carnival. All flung on the bed.

Finally all my belongings of Troy's were on the bed and as I made my way over to it I caught a quick glance of my face in the mirror. I didn't noticed when I started but tears glazed my cheeks and my eyes hinting a light reddish colour. It made the tears fall down faster. Thinking quickly as my emotions began to overwhelm me I needed to get rid of these things fast.

I gathered all the things up and quickly dropped them into a box that I pushed into the closet, slamming it closed as I crumpled on the floor and sobbed hysterically into my arms.

I remember after my tears finally dissolved away I just sat there, only now noticing how empty things looked. I sighed, knowing it was time to move on, no matter how much I want to hold on to what me and Troy had forever, I had to let go.

And now here I am, heaving my books onto my desk as Alexander does the same beside me.

"Hey Gabriella?"

I sighed as I sat down and looked to the person in the seat next to me.

"Yah Alexander?"

"You okay?"

I stared at him for a second before groaning and dropping my head onto the desk.

"I'll take that as a no," he said to himself.

"Not the time, Alexander." I growled angrily and pinched my eyes closed tiredly.

"Bad night?"

"Bad dreams," I said sighing and lifting my head up and looking at the front.

A moment of silence came before he spoke up once more. "Troy's looking at us."

I glared daggers into the board. "Shut up Alexander."

"So I know it's about Troy," he smirked but it soon softens and turns into a sympathetic smile. "Don't let it bother you. Just don't worry right now. Things with Troy will soon settle down."

"You think?" I asked hopefully.

"The more time that passes by the easier it becomes. And you have it worse then I do so I've have to be supportive and help you out with these kind of things."

I looked over at him. "How is my situation worse than yours? We're kind of in the same boat here."

"Yah but I don't have to see Casey everywhere I go. You see Troy everyday at school."

My eyes, against my will, trailed away from Alexander and over to where Troy was sitting. He was leaning on his desk propped up by his elbow with the side of his head resting in his hand. He seemed to be writing something down on a sheet of paper with a slight frown placed upon his lips seemingly deep in thought.

His stopped writing after a moment and his eyes skimmed across the page before he barely moved his head down a little bit more. His lips formed an 'o' shape as he blew out a sigh before leaning back in his chair and grabbing the paper to read it over. His hair was ruffled slightly from one side as where his hand had been. One of his hands rested on top of the desk and I wished I could have been sitting beside him like the old days and just hold his hand. I wish I could kiss that frown of his face and ask him what was wrong, trying everything in my power to make him feel better. I wish life could go back to the way it was before.

I don't know how long I kept my eyes watching his every move before he seemed to feel eyes upon him and glanced up confusedly until his eyes landed on mine. His expression changed to something I couldn't describe. Emotions flung themselves full force on me. Pain. Hurt. Love. Betrayal. His eyes holding an ancient grief in them and at that moment he seemed a lot older than he should look. I felt a lump begin to form in my throat just as he seemed to snap back to earth and his emotions shielded off from me. He quickly cast his eyes back down and leaned over his desk.

It was my fault. I know I've said it before but it really is. He can't even look at me. It was hard to handle. The lump seemed to expand at an extreme rate. My eyes started to sting.

"Gabriella?" Alexander asked as I snapped my head towards him.

"Wha-" My dazed expression never left me.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded as I looked back over to Troy. "Yah, just fine." I forced a tight lipped smile. "Just fine."

---

The day went on and on and the pain grew seeing Troy. I wanted to escape him but there was nothing I could do. Last period finally arrived but it was not a joyful experience. Co-ed gym. We were playing dodge-ball. Nothing seemed completely bad, right? Well guess who's in my gym class. Troy, obviously. At least I still had Alexander with me.

It was going fine. The game was actually pretty fun and Alexander was on my team which was even better. Everything was going okay until I wasn't paying attention and the next thing I know is I'm on the ground clutching my nose in pain. Could dodge-balls really do that much damage?

"Gabriella!" Alexander made his was quickly over to me as everyone else continued on playing, not noticing me on the ground.

Alexander kneeled down beside me and gently pushed my hand away from my face. His fingers grazed against my nose as a groan escaped my lips.

A few seconds passed that seemed to drag on until Jack Bolton appeared above me.

"Gabriella? Are you okay?" He asked crouching down on the other side of me. My only response was a strange noise I could quite identify.

"Okay, come on. Let's get you up." He, with the help of Alexander, pulled me up a little to quickly as I swayed, feeling light headed, and fell back into Alexander's arms. My head was killing me from when it hit the floor.

"Troy!" Jack yelled calling his son over. I wanted to open my eyes to see why he was calling him but resting against Alexander seemed much more pleasant and comfortable.

"Yah Dad?" Troy questioned seemingly beside me as I detected an deeper emotion evident behind his voice.

I finally allowed myself to open my eyes and the first thing I saw was Troy's concerned looked directed at me., but soon his eyes sifted to Alexander's arms that were holding me up and the bright blue colour in them seemed to darken.

"Troy, help Gabriella to the back of the locker room and get her some ice from my office. And if need be take her to the nurse for help."

I finally allowed myself to regain my balance and slide out of Alexander's grasp against my will. Glancing down at Alexander's shirt I noticed some red substance had appeared on his shirt causing my hand to shot up to my nose. I brought it down to see my hands covered with the same liquid as his shirt. I gave him an apologetic smile before turning to follow Troy when Alexander's hand reached out to restrained me.

"Are you going to be okay?" Alexander whispered quietly in my ear. I knew he didn't mean only my injury but of me being alone with Troy. I nodded reassuringly even though I wasn't quite sure myself. "I'll meet you back here after class okay? Then I'll take you home." I nodded once more keeping my hand to my nose as I followed Troy in complete silence. It was the most awkward experience of my life. Finally, after quite some time I was able to breathe a sigh of relief as we finally entered the office.

"Just sit down their," he told me, nodding his head towards the chair off to the side. I sat down as I watched him continue to move around.

He went to one of the drawers and came back with a box of tissues that he handed to me. I thanked him as I took a couple from it and put it up against my nose. He then went to the mini ice maker at the side and scooped up ice, placing it into a bag. Once he had enough he twisted the bag and tied the top before coming back and crouching down in front of me.

"How's the nose?" he asked as he moved my hand away from my face and gently touched it. I didn't speak, to distracted with his blue eyes that were analyzing my nose.

"It seems to be fine. No real damage, just a little bit of swelling. And the bleeding seems to have stopped," he told me as he examine my nose. "Here, lets just clean you're nose from all this dried blood."

He got up again and turned, grabbing some tissues and going to the tap and wetting it. Taking out the excess water he turned the tap off and came back to crouch down once more and dabbed my face. His actions were so gentle I questioned why he was treating my this way. From all I had put him through he should be happy I was in pain. That I was suffering like I know he is. I deserved being hurt. I deserved everything that I had done upon him to be done upon me. It was only fair. This wasn't. He was being too good to me.

His hands were soft as they gently examined my nose, and his eyes as soft and caring as ever with a small glow in them. His eyes were unguarded but no emotions were in them. It was as if he was in his own little world.

"Why are you doing this Troy?" I asked quietly before I could stop myself.

He seemed to snap back into reality as his hand stopped cleaning my face. "What?"

"Shouldn't you hate me?" I questioned as I stared intensely into his eyes.

"Hate you? Why?" He really seemed puzzled. As if there was never a reason for him to hate me.

"Because I-" I didn't want to think about all I've done to him. From telling him lies to breaking his heart and betraying him; it was too much.

Troy's eyes cast downwards as he seemed to recall everything that had happened in the past several days.

"Troy, I'm sorry," I whispered, grabbing his hand in mine and gazing at him.

Troy didn't reply, only staring at our interlocking hands. The ring on my hand glittered and as I noticed this I tried taking my hand away but Troy held it firmly.

"So it's true." His voice broke painfully as he continually gazed down at my hand.

"Troy-" I tried to explain but I wasn't quite sure how to.

"Do you love him?" He asked, finally raising his eyes to meet mine and my heart broke at the look I received. His eyes were coated in a smother of sadness, pain and sorrow that was simply unbearable.

How was I to respond to a question like that? Was I to tell a lie in hopes he would move on thinking I loved someone else, or tell the truth and let him build up hopes that something could become of us once more. The first seemed like the better option.

"Yes," I finally replied. My voice almost too quiet for him to hear. Almost.

He nodded slowly as the emotions in his eyes grew. His thumb was still rubbing my left hand as I gazed at him in sadness.

"Troy?" I began. I couldn't do it. I couldn't see him like this. I had to tell him the truth. "Troy I have to tell you someth-" My voice was cut off as the bell rang signalling school was over.

Troy sighed as he released my hand and looked up once more. "Here," he said, handing me the ice. My hand lightly grazed his as I grabbed it. "You should probably go. Alexander's probably waiting for you." He didn't sound bitter but simply sad.

I opened my mouth to protest but nothing came out. After a moment I got up, as did Troy, and we stood there staring at each other. "You don't hate me, do you Troy?"

Troy gazed at me and brought on of his hands up, brushing a lock of my hair behind my ear. "Of course not Gabriella."

I suddenly had the biggest urge to lean in and kiss him. This shouldn't be happening.

"Well, I should leave then," I told him as he nodded to it. To many thing were left unsaid between the two of us but nothing that could be put into words. I reached the door but halted as my hand touched the knob.

"I really am sorry Troy," I whispered loud enough for him to hear without turning around to see his expression. And with that said I finally opened the door and closed it gently behind me, making my way down the empty hall. I brought the bag off ice up to my nose as I continued walking. There was no one left in the locker room making me question how much time had passed since the bell rang. It couldn't have been that much.

I finally entered the gym once more and spotted Alexander alone sitting at the side on a bench. I made my way over to him and finally noticed he was reading something in his hands.

I dropped my hand to my side, still holding the ice before asking. "What is that?"

He didn't reply and simply continued reading it. I sat down beside him and looked at the paper. The writing was impossible for me to miss.

"Where did you get that?!" I asked with a raise in my voice.

He shrugged. "It fell out of Troy's bag." I finally noticed the bag that lay forgotten on the floor. Why was his bag out here anyways?

"Alexander," I began outraged but he turned to me with a completely serious expression that had my words halted.

"I think you should read this Gabriella," he said as he held the paper out towards me. I stared at it for a moment, glanced back at him and then slowly grasped the letter. Upon in was Troy's messy writing. I knew this from all those notes he would leave in my locker. It brought back too many memories as I stared at it. Alexander had to nudge me gently before I began reading it. It was a poem.

Cascades of colours

Dimming to a dull grey

All hope is lost

I can't win this game

She looked at me

I knew my heart lied in her hands

She spoke to me

A rush of pleasure, as if walking upon sand

Everything turns

A roller coaster ride begins

Worlds crashing down

My heart plummets to the ground

Lies were built up, surrounding me

Until they acted out and broke me

The truth is out, now shes with him

This is why all my light has dimmed

A beautiful girl sent straight from heaven

She broke my heart but still is an angel in my eyes

I'll never see wrong while looking at her

She was my love, my life, my whole wide world

Now I die seeing her with him

Just a shattered soul of someone I've been

Bouncing balls is no longer my game

With my heart broken I feel I'm going insane

Life's over leaving a gaping hole

Pain remains for a broken soul

I loved her so but now she'll never know

The engagement ring I kept to combine our lonely souls

By the end tears we trickling down my face and the poem was clutched in my hand. My eyes travel continuously over the last line. Engagement ring? He was going to propose? An engagement ring? What?

"Gabriella?" Alexander asked me as he noticed my silence. I finally looked up and turned to him.

"Let's go," I said simply as I bent down and put the poem back into Troy's bag.

"Gabriella, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Now can we go," I said forcefully. Alexander knew not to be persistent about the matter and nodded.

Just as we were exiting the gym I heard the locker room door open and turned. Troy stood there staring at me sadly as the gym door closed and his face was gone from my sight.

My mind was going miles per minute and I knew that the hope of getting any sleep tonight was close to none. All I could imagine was me walking down an aisle, and instead of Alexander standing there waiting for me it was Troy.

It was Troy.

A/N: Okay I know, I know. I have absolutely no excuse for why it took so long to update. So please just ignore that fact. Thank you to all those messaging me relentlessly who made me update. Also I have a lot of issues with the poem. Like how the same format was not followed through the whole thing. When I was writing it I wrote one part at a time for some reason and I really didn't notice until I was reading it. So yah its still pretty good but lets just ignore that too. So yah…no I am not dead and I have finally updated. Finding time to write seems harder and harder lately so understand I am trying my best. As always, tell me what you think.♥