A/N - So this tool me a little longer to get up than I thought it would, but I'm happy with the end result. So Jim pretty much gets his ass kicked and gets some bashing from his mom. I'm juggling my three stories so as the inspiration comes I'm writing. So yeah, violence, mental abuse, and Bones in this chapter. Enjoy!

Jim turned off the motor to his bike and looked at the house that he had left when he was fifteen. He had sworn that he would never return to it, yet here it was, memories and all. He didn't know why he came back, nothing good was going to come from this. There would be yelling and screaming, and then he would wind up at some shit hole of a bar and drink his problems away.

He got off the bike and walked up the creaky stairs and strolled into the house; it was his after all. "Mom?"

"Your mom's not here kid."

Jim turned and saw the one man, no the one thing that he never wanted to see again. That bastard Frank, the one that he made Sam leave, the one that had forced him to leave his childhood home seven years ago. God did he hate this man with a passion.

"Well where the hell is she, and I swear to god if you're making her work while she's in this - "

"Get your head out of your ass Jimmy." Frank only smirked when he saw how the name affected the younger man. "She's in the hospital. They won't let her come home. Once she's off the meds she's dead."

The coldness in those words made Jim narrow his eyes. He may not love his mother, may not respect her as much as he should, but she was still his mother. He didn't want her dead and her so called husband was sitting here talking as if she didn't even matter.

"What's the matter Jimmy - "

Frank never got to answer because Jim finally did something that he had wanted to do since the man had walked into his life. He curled his hand into a fist and forced into straight into the drunk's face.

"Get the hell out of my house Frank." Jim laughed as the man held his nose and let out pathetic whimpers. He didn't know how he could have been scared of this man when he was younger. He sent a well aimed kick at Frank's mid-section and walked out of the house and back to his bike. Jim could only laugh and the feral scream that came from the house as he took off and drove to the local hospital.

He hated hospitals, almost as much as he hated his life. Jim took in the familiar sights and smells of the place that had turned its back on him as a child. He didn't know how many times he had come here, injured and bleeding, just wanting help, wanting to get away from Frank. But that man, he always found a way to get out of it, never got punished for what he did to Jim.

Some of the nurses and doctors realized who he was and just watched him. They didn't know what to say to the man that walked through their lobby. His eyes, ones that had once been scared and pleading for help, were now cold and dared them to speak to him. He was here for one reason and one reason only.

Someone he didn't know, a pretty little red head with deep brown eyes told him the room number that belonged to his mother. He nodded and walked away, fully aware of her gaze on his back. Maybe he would stop by after he was done seeing mother, a pity fuck would do right now. At least it would make him forget about the situation that had brought him back to Hell-on Earth, Iowa.

Silently, he looked into the room and saw her laying there, pale and weak looking, her chest rising and falling steadily as she slept. According to what he had been told she wouldn't last another month.

Jim walked in and sat on the chair next to her bed, not touching her but just watching her face. He felt like it was his duty as a son to be here. He knew he wasn't here because he loved her, and he knew that wasn't why Sam was chartering and shuttle back to Earth. His mother died when his father did, the day that Jim was born.

Oh, she had tried to love him at first, or at least pretended to love him. He when she broke her promises and left him and Sam he knew that he was a ghost to her; a reminder of the one man that she really loved.

Jim wished that Sam was here. Sam was the only that really knew what it was like to be hated like this. Sam knew what it was like to be tossed aside like he didn't matter. Then again, Sam had gotten out before Frank could ruin him, Jim hadn't.

He looked at his mother again and forced the thoughts from his mind. He had more important things to think about. Jim leaned back in his chair, counting the beeps from the monitor that let him know his mother was still alive and hating him.

The time said that it was a little after three-thirty when he woke up and he instantly knew that something was different. His blue eyes looked around and finally they landed on the form of his mother, who was propped up and glaring at him as if he were the most vile creature that had ever existed.

"Mom." he said in a calm voice.

"Why did you come?" The normally smooth and high voice was rough and raspy.

Jim looked at her and did what any good son would do; he reached out to take her hand and provide her some level of comfort. When her hand moved away from his, he sat back and put his hands in his pockets.

"Sam called, told me you weren't doing to well. Don't worry, I already stopped by and paid Frank a visit."

Jim saw her hazel eyes narrow at him and he realized that she still didn't believe that what Jim had said, what had happened years ago was real. He had made it up in order to get her attention and he ran away in an attempt to bring her home. Well if that was his plan than maybe he wasn't as smart as the tests showed he was because it only drove the wedge deeper between them.

"Get out."

The young man sat there his eyes on his mother. He braced his shields knowing that she was going to lash out. He'd gotten used to it. Afterwards she would cry and he would walk out, drive off, and get plastered. It was a cycle that had been old from the very beginning.

"Dammit James, leave!" she tried to yell. "I never wanted you, I wish I had miscarried. Your father should be sitting here not you."

It was the same stuff the Jim had heard before. His mother pushing him away, unable to look at him because of who he reminded her of. It wasn't his fault, it wasn't her's. His dad had a fucking hero complex and look where it had gotten them. Jim knew that he didn't deserve the anger that was directed toward him, but he accepted it because he didn't know how to do anything else.

She looked at him and Jim could see a new breed of hatred in her eyes. "I tried to get rid of you James. I tried so damn hard. I sent you there for a reason, so you'd be out of our hair. When I heard the news about the famine and what Kodos had done I hoped that you were one of the four thousand that was killed."

The blue eyes that had been drifting out of focus were suddenly tuned into her. His eyes got wide and he shook his head but she went on. "I never could stand to look at you James. I hate you because of what you took from me."

"Mom - "

"Get out James." she whispered.

Jim didn't know what to do. He sat there, staring at her for a couple more minutes before he got up and left the building. Jim didn't spare a glance for the red head that had pointed him in the right direction earlier. He didn't stop to glare at the men and women that had believe Frank's inebriated ass over his young one. He got on his bike and rode to a bar near the ship yards, one where he knew he could get into trouble.

He took a seat at the far end of the bar before ordering two shots of Jack and a Bud Classic. Jim downed the shots like they were nothing before nursing the beer. He needed to forget what his mother had said, needed to forget what had happened on that planet.

Tarsus IV and Kodos the Executioner. Jim had been sent there by his mother to visit some of his relatives, to get him out of her hair as she put it not so long ago. But there was a famine that was destroying half of the food supply and Kodos, the great man that he was, decided that half of the population, four thousand men, women, and children, needed to die so the better half could live.

Jim waved over another two shots as he recalled being trapped between the others that had been herded into the city's square. His young eyes looked up at Kodos as he stared down at them, his eyes cold and uncaring. Jim remembered every word of that speech that began the massacre; he could close his eyes and picture the whole thing.

"The revolution is successful. But survival depends on drastic measures." The red-haired governor stared down at them, and they all stared at him looking for strength and words to guide them. "Your continued existence represents a threat to the well-being of society." The crowd was quiet, horror on the faces of the adults and the children looked at the man confused. It took Jim only a few seconds to realize what was going to happen. He ducked and ran to an alley, lucky that the guards were to preoccupied to see him. The boy hid behind a trash can, pulling a younger boy, maybe three or four to him in order to shield him from what was to come. "You're lives mean slow death to the more valued members of society. Therefore, I have no alternative but to sentence you to death." That's when the screaming started. "Your execution is so ordered, signed Kodos, Governor of Tarsus IV."

Jim swallowed one shot, letting the alcohol burn his throat on the way down. He wanted to get drunk and quick. Cadets were starting to pour in and he wanted one of them to go too far, just hit him in the wrong spot and end this miserable lie that he lived. He downed the fourth and chugged the beer; he didn't care if he got sick, he probably be around that long for it to happen anyway.

Jim, be reasonable, don't do this. You'll make something of yourself. Someone's just around the corner, I promise. You're mother didn't mean it, trust me son.

Jim wanted to shut that voice up so he ordered another shot, willing it away. Now that he thought about it, he wanted to be somewhat coherent when his demise took place. He looked around the bar and saw a cadet ordering drinks and decided to see if some of the manly men would come to defend her honor.

Sometimes, members of Star Fleet are so damn predictable. Once he called the guy 'Cupcake' the beating began. Yeah he fought back, he couldn't just sit there, he had to make it look legit. He heard the female calling for them to stop but none of them did. Jim didn't know the odds, it was at least four against him, but he liked a challenge, even if he knew this wasn't one that he was going to make it through.

When the bar went silent and the fists stopped pounding into him he groaned and looked up. A man was standing there, and guessing by the look on everyone's face he was someone important. The cadets cleared out and Jim was placed in a chair and given some water.

After a few minutes he sat down and started giving Jim a pep talk. The Pike guy really had no idea what it was like, yeah Jim was a genius, yeah he was a repeat offender, yeah he was the son of George fucking Kirk, but none of that mattered. Jim was Jim and he wanted it all to end.

He didn't pay much attention to what he was saying until he heard a challenge come from the man's mouth. Jim listened but shook his head and left. He hoped on that faithful bike of his and rode off.

The sound of the motor kept him same and he found the events of the night coming back to him. What his mother said, hitting Frank, egging on the cadets at the bar, and finally the dare that Captain Pike had made to him before he took off. "I dare you to do better."

Jim pulled up at the ship yards just before eight in the morning and tossed the keys to some random worker. He saw Pike near the shuttle door and smirked. Jim was still in the dirty and bloody clothes that he had been in the night before but the an didn't seem to notice.

Jim clapped Pike on the shoulder, "Four years?" He got on the ramp and walked in turning around. "I'll do it in three."

He walked in, hit his head on the ceiling, saw Cupcake and his friends and just smirked. "Boys." he said and took a seat. Jim saw the cadet that he had been hitting on and sent a charming and cocky grin her way earning him an eye roll.

That's when he heard a man yelling about these shuttles being unsafe, about how he had had a seat on the bathroom and he would gladly return there. The man looked like he was in just as bad of shape as Jim was and Jim couldn't help but smile. The guy sat down and Jim told him he was pretty sure these things were safe and he just listened as the man rattled off all the things that could happen.

Jim gladly accepted a swig from the flask and looked at the man he was going to call 'Bones'. For some reason it just worked for the guy, not only because he was a Doctor but because he claimed that was all that his ex-wife had left him with. The pair strapped in and the Doctor looked at Jim and came right out and said it.

"I may throw up on you."

After that, Jim knew that they were going to be friends, and hell. Maybe the universe didn't hate him after all. In his head he could hear the damn obnoxious voice.

I told you someone was there. Just hang in there kid, just hang in there.

A/N - Yay! Anywho, there it is…its also 4:30 in the morning which means that I'm getting up in two hours. So, if you want to make my day, because I will probably be very cranky by the time I'm done with work and class, then let me know what you think! The next chapter should be up fairly quickly seeing as it's already been posted, I'm just going to tweak it and change a couple things. Thanks for reading.

L.A.