A/N - Ok, here's the last chapter. I know it's not very long, but I thought it should be short and sweet. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it yet, I had to rewrite it a couple times and this is what I came up with. Enjoy.
Jim lay next to the man that had been the one constant in the mess that he had been forced to call a life. This man, Doctor Leonard "Bones" McCoy, was everything to Jim. In no way had McCoy agreed with all the shit the Jim pulled, especially when they were on the first five year mission, but he had been there and stayed by his side.
McCoy was the one person that Jim had been able to completely open up to. The good Doctor knew about all the times that Jim had tried to end his life because he had wanted to give up, and McCoy was the only one that believed Jim had a voice inside his head willing him to continue.
But, over the course of his thirty-five years, there was one important lesson that Jim had learned. The universe, for whatever reason, hated him and liked to see him miserable. The damn thing liked to beat him down and continue to kick at him till his will to fight was gone. That's exactly what it had done; one year ago, the universe decided that it was going to take the one thing that really mattered to him, away.
One year ago, McCoy was diagnosed with a rare cancer that there was still no cure for. Slowly, but surely, the cancerous cells were taking over his organs and shutting them down. The couple had decided that McCoy was going to spend his finals days at home, and now those final days were winding to a close.
When McCoy first gave Jim the news, the had sat down and discussed what was going to happen and how McCoy wanted his life to end. He didn't want to be put on life support, but Jim fought back, saying that if it helped McCoy live then why should they use it. Weeks were spent arguing on the topic before they came to a compromise; if McCoy needed to stay on life support for more than three days, then Jim would pull the plug.
The year had flown by. Jim had used all his resources to research the disease but nothing worked and one week ago McCoy had confined himself to bed. When that had happened, Jim had made the choice that he wasn't going to go through the rest of his life without McCoy by his side. McCoy was the person that he had kept himself alive for, the person the voice had been telling him to wait for; with McCoy gone, what was there for Jim?
The first day that McCoy had been place on life support he put the bottle of little red pills in the drawer next to the bed. One of them knocked him out for twelve hours, the whole thing would end his life in less than an hour and it would be painless.
At ten o'clock, in a mere two hours, Jim would end the life of the man that was his everything. In a mere two hours Jim was going to lay next to him, a die while holding his fading husband in his arms.
He forced himself to sit up and he set the letter that he had written to Spock on the nightstand so that he would find it. Jim knew that at the half-Vulcan was on his way to be with him, and he knew what would happen when Spock read the letter, but Jim prayed the Spock wouldn't go through with what they had talked about so many years ago.
Jim looked back at his dying husband before he laid down again and wrapped his arms around the still body, holding it close. Jim felt tears in his eyes as he held McCoy to him. Silently, he studied McCoy's features and ran his fingers through the graying hair; he remembered the times that McCoy had yelled at him about being an idiot, he remembered McCoy and Spock arguing over the smallest things, and he remembered the nights of passion that he and McCoy shared.
His blue eyes reluctantly left the form of McCoy and he looked at the clock. He only at fifty minutes left before he had to pull the plug. Jim pulled the bottle of pills out of the drawer and popped the top off. With one last look at McCoy, he dumped them into his mouth and chewed them as if they were his favorite candy.
He waited for them to kick in and once he started feeling drowsy he placed a final kiss on McCoy's lips before turning the machine off. Jim put hi head on his lover's chest and closed his eyes. Part of himself hated himself for what he was doing, but the other part knew that it needed to be done.
It's ok Jim, let go.
Jim looked around, his vision going foggy and he pulled McCoy close, listening as the heart slowed.
You belong with him, its ok now.
His blue eyes closed and he fell asleep, his heart slowing at the same pace McCoy's did. Jim faded from the world, holding the only thing that really mattered to him. Both men slid into the darkness and they were welcomed by a man that neither of them knew.
A/N - And its done…ok, so vote, should I do an epilogue sort of thing where Spock finds them, yay or nay. Let me knoe what you think and thanks for reading!
L.A.