Itachi watched the laughing couple with narrowed eyes. He wasn't fooled by the similar shades of flaming red hair. The man who was hunting for the Akatsuki had no family. That little fact had been taken care of by Itachi a long time ago, with kunais and bloodshed.
"Itachi-kuuuun! Look what I brought you, hmmm? Takoyaki! It smells delicious, doesn't it?"
Itachi closed his eyes tightly. Maybe if I pretend he doesn't exist, he'll disappear...
"Itachi-kun, are you ok? You look like you have headache, hmmm?" Deidara waved some takoyaki in Itachi's face in what he probably thought was a tantalyzing manner. Itachi opened his eyes and glared at Deidara.
"I don't like takoyaki. It brings up painful memories." He closed his eyes again, remembering the time he had bought Sasuke takoyaki. Sasuke had been so happy, then...
Deidara grinned evilly and said, "I know! That's why I brought some!" He bit off some of the takoyaki cheekily.
Do not kill him, do not kill him. Leader wouldn't be pleased if he needed to find a replacement.
"Any changes with our target?" Deidara asked in a voice filled with takoyaki mush. Itachi grimaced in disgust at that.
"Only that his back-up arrived." Itachi frowned as he spoke. "A girl with the same color of hair as him. She's posing as his niece."
Deidara smiled. "How nice, hmmm? Perhaps we should play with them a little, hmmm?"
Itachi clenched his fists. Darn it, Kisame, why did you have to pick now to come down with the flu? If only you'd listened to me when I told you not to skinny dip in that glacial remnant! Then I wouldn't be stuck with this idiot and his hmmmms!!!
"Itachi-kun? Were you listening?" Deidara smiled innocently at Itachi. Itachi nodded carefully.
"What do you propose we do?" Itachi asked.
Deidara's grin grew wider. "Why, pretend to be friends with them, of course! The girl has no idea who we are or what we look like, hmmm? Let's be nice to her!"
Itachi's face flickered with surprise momentarily. Be friendly? He wasn't even sure how to do that! Deidara noticed his uncertainty and patted him on the back reassuringly.
"Don't worry, Itachi-kun. Just act like me!"
You mean like an annoying windbag who has mouths in his palms for 'art'? I don't think so.
Itachi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Dear gods, would somebody please spare him this? He would do anything to get away from Deidara! Anything to be spared hmmmms!