In Front Of The Lights
Chapter Two
Too Weak
I pushed the long, dark brown hair that fell down out of my face. I dared myself to say it - Chad was...right. I couldn't hide in here forever. I had to face them, be strong. I stood up from where I was sitting and went to the set for rehearsal. "Look who's here, hello, Sonny." Marshall said. "Uh, sorry I'm late, I slept in." I lied. "Okay, just don't be a repeat offender." He warned. Tawni eyed me from across the room. She'd probably found out already. She probably didn't care I was cutting, just that SHE wasn't on the cover of 'Tween Weekly'.
We rehearsed a new 'Check It Out Girls' sketch before taking a break. I didn't put much perkiness or happiness into the character in the sketch, my mind was preoccupied with the magazine cover, and the internet articles, and trying to be strong. Tawni pulled me into a small corner near the snack table. "Are you insane?!" She tried to keep her voice low. "Yes I am, did it take you that long?" I replied with a smile. "Okay, first of all, you're not funny, I have no idea why you even joined the show if you call that comedy, and second, that's not what we're talking about," She pulled the new issue of 'Tween Weekly' off the table. "THIS is what we're talking about! Are you trying to ruin my reputation? You're doing a good job!" Tawni was mad. "What, because you're not on the cover? I'm so sorry!" I faked sympathy. "No," She paused for a moment.
"Wait, yes. And in addition why you're on the cover. Cutting?! Really, Sonny?" I had no comeback, perfect. "What, because you're on the same show as me, it's so bad?" I asked. "Yes! It is bad! Because if they think you're self-harming, they won't want to watch the show. And you know who is on that show? Me! I'll have no fans, because of you!"
Wow, and just when I thought Tawni couldn't get any more self centered - bam. "Whatever, go get a role in a movie or another show! You'll get more fans then, but I've seen your acting and I don't think you'd get any!" Nico walked over to us. "Woah, woah, woah, Sonny, Tawni, what's going on here?! I could here you guys yelling from the prop house!" He said. A smirk spread across Tawni's face. "Ask Sonny what's going on, if you haven't heard already." She turned and walked away. "Tawni told me to ask so - what's going on?" Nico asked. I threw the magazine into his hands. "That will explain most of it." I mumbled sadly before heading to the dressing room.
I walked into the bathroom like I usually did, but I didn't turn the shower on. Everybody knew now, there was no point. The familiar blade was positioned in my hands as I sat on the floor. I dragged it down my wrist, and the red liquid seeped from the line. I held the small towel to it, then the door suddenly flew open. Shit, I didn't lock it. "Sonny?" Nico was there at the door. Blade next to me, towel, blood stains showing through the towel, wow, it sort of looked like I'd been cutting myself. "What are you doing?" He sounded concerned. "What does it look like I'm doing? Besides, you probably read the article. You don't care that I'm doing this, no one does." I explained, tears welling in my eyes.
"I care. You're my friend, Sonny. I don't want to lose you if this gets worse." Nico picked up the blade next to me and returned it to the drawer. "I don't want to force you to stop, that would be against your will and screw everything up, and I won't send you to a shrink either. I'll just keep a very watchful eye on you." He said. I actually laughed out of my sadness and tears. I left the towel on the floor and left the bathroom and sat on the couch with Nico."I don't know how I'm going to face everyone else. Like Grady, Zora, Marshall, my mum, the paparazzi. I'm too weak, I can't do it." I sobbed. "Too weak? What?" Nico replied. "Well, I talked to Chad earlier this morning, and -" Nico cut me off. "You talked to CHAD?!" Nico gasped. I cracked a fake smile. "Very funny. Anyway, he told me the best way that I can face them and deal with all of this is to be strong. But I can't be strong, I'm too weak to face everyone. You've been a great help, but I need some time for myself now. Bye." I stood up off the couch and left.
The paparazzi went mad the second I walked out of the 'So Random' set. I was nearly blinded by the flashing lights. They were waving the magazine and printed articles in front of my face. I managed to get to my car before I was trampled. I drove back home and curled up in my bedroom. I was huddled up in a corner, crying. Scissors were on my desk. I stared at them for a long moment, as if I was waiting for them to suddenly jump into my hands. I soon picked them up and made a fresh cut on my wrist. I felt like screaming. My life was in ruins, wait, no. I was in ruins.
And I needed someone who could make my life better in some way, if that was even possible.
A new chapter! Woo! I added a bit of Sonny/Nico, because I'm still waiting for those reviews saying which couple should be in this story - Sonny/Nico or Sonny/Chad. I know the obvious answer, Sonny/Chad, but think about it, Sonny/Nico is different, and different is good. Sonny/Chad seems kind of...overused. (That's my new word - overused, haha.) So review people!
~ Emily