China Girl
(An Ashes to Ashes Fic)
Chapter 2 –
Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere
'What? Alex, what is it?' Peter questioned, as she continued to stare at him with an odd expression in her eyes; a vacant expression, as though they were empty and free from all emotion.
'I need to go somewhere…'
'Well, where?'
'Just somewhere' She replied simply, deciding that that was the best answer, as in all honestly she wasn't really sure where she was going; back to Gene she hoped, although she had no idea how. Sam had managed it though, so it was likely that she could too. She only prayed she was right.
He watched her for a short while, trying to analyse her expression, hoping for her to display just a hint of emotion, so that he could try to understand how she was feeling. But her expression remained void.
'So…How are you going to get to this place…This somewhere?'
She contemplated his question for a moment. In all honesty she didn't have a clue about how she was going to get back to 1982 and save Gene, but she knew that somehow, she had to.
She shook her head 'I don't know' she whispered truthfully, as her eyes welled up with tears and she rubbed at them with the sleeves of her pyjama top.
'I don't know how I'm going to get back; but I have to…'
He watched as silent tears cascaded down her pale face, and for the first time he could see a glimmer of emotion reflected in her eyes; regret. An emotion which had become all too familiar with him over the years and he moved so that he was sat next to her on the bed, and placed his arm around her, hoping to provide some sort of comfort and support.
Taking a few deep breaths to calm herself, she turned to look at Peter, her eyes still glazed with tears.
'Promise me you'll look after Molly. If I can't get back, then I need to know she's safe…I need to know she's loved; that she's happy. Just promise me that you and Evan will look after her and a..always be t…there for h..her…' she finished the sentence, once again struggling to contain her emotions.
Even if this world wasn't real, she was still leaving behind her daughter and she couldn't do that unless she knew that Molly had people here who would love and support her and make sure she was happy as she possibly could be.
'Promise me?' she asked him once again, her eyes almost pleading with him this time; trying to make him understand how important this was to her.
'I promise; but Alex, for god's sake don't do anything stupid!'
'Thankyou'
'What for?'
'Everything' she replied, still choking back the tears that were flowing rapidly down her face, 'Goodbye Peter…'
**
'My name is Alex Drake. I was shot in 1982 and ended up going back to 2008, where I thought was where I belonged; with my daughter Molly. But I don't feel anything here; only regret. And I know now that I don't belong here at all, I belong in 1982, with Chris, Ray, Viv, Shaz and Gene Hunt. I belong with Gene Hunt; and that's' where I'm going to go.
You know when I was a little girl, my mum always told me that in life, you're always going to be faced with difficult choices, but you just have to make the best one's for now…
…Well, that's what I'm doing; I'm going home.
But Molly, before I do and if you ever listen to this, then I want you to know that I will always love you; no matter where I am.
You'll always be my special little girl…'
And with a small thump the old cassette player hit the concrete ground of the bridge as Alex Drake took her final leap of faith. Her feet sliding from underneath her, leaving the safety of the bridge before plummeting into the murky waters below.
**
Anyway, anyway I choose
I wanna go
Do it myself, do it myself, do it myself, do it myself
Anyway, anyway I choose