Part 6: Broken Wings Can't Fly: Bella

As I was walking up to my truck I saw Seth stumble back and caught him by the arm. "Hey now. You going to faint every time I'm around?" I whispered into his ear. Damn Seth making it so easy. "You want a lift? I got room for you." Corse he wants a lift, he asked this morning.

"S-sure and how about you come over to my house after wards?" he stammered making me giggle.

I wish my feelings weren't so real and then I wouldn't have to do what I'm going to do. "Sounds good." I smiled, I was good at faking one by now, and moved over to the truck door. Seth jumped forwards and pulled it open, "Thanks Seth, I knew I kept you around for a reason."

It was how much he cared that made my regress. Back to how I was a year ago. That was why I had to distance the two of us and soon.

Neither of us talked all the way back home except when we reached his house, "Ok I've got a few things to do then I'll walk round. See you soon." I faked another smile before driving the short distance home.

As I entered I switched on the radio to catch the news but switched it off a few seconds later. Everyone was on about the rumour about robot slaves for hire in LA. Sometimes they said zombies and some said they were in other cities like London but the basic story was the same. All a bunch of hokie pokie. I giggled; hokie pokie is a funny phrase.

I dropped my bag on my bed and turned to my wardrobe. Hung on the door was a blue dress; I was going to show Seth that he couldn't be my friend without wanting to act on his feelings. If he did I might just get hurt again, I was already a bird with broken wings, what more is there to lose but my life.

I got changed quickly and then went into the bathroom to brush my hair. I smiled at the pictures of baby animals I had taped around the edge of the mirror. They were one of the many ways I had brought happiness into the house in the past year.

As I walked down the street and whistled a cheerful tune and found myself skipping. My good mood wouldn't last though, I had kept it up for a year but Seth could snap me out of it just by being around.

He was like Wesley in most ways but he didn't seem to mind when I was my true self.

When I reached Seth's house I knock once and then waited. Seth opened the door and tried to speak but cut himself off. I saw his eyes travel over my body and strangely it didn't feel uncomfortable, it felt right. But that was why I had to do this. "Bugah so so so very bugah."

"What are you babbling at Seth?" I knew he was reacting to the way I was dressed but I didn't want him to know that.

"Sorry sorry sorry. I, I just never saw you in a dress before and, and, and well you're..." He broke eye contact and I was glad, well as glad as I could be. Oddly, even though it was what I wanted I still felt a pang of regret at his face.

"I'm what Seth?" I put my hand out but he shrugged it off

"Never mind about that, not like I was going to say beautiful or anything silly like that." What? I couldn't believe how much it hurt when he denied that. I tried to tell myself it was because my plan hadn't worked but even so... "I'm going to head to the toilet but then I'll get us some drinks and we can watch some TV, 'K?"

I turned around and blinked fiercely to keep back the tears, my shoulders slumping.

Shuffling into the living room I looked for something to cheer me up. The furniture was all leather except the glass coffee table and the TV was smaller than dad's flat screen. The computer was on and displayed the homepage of MegaTokyo, yeah that would cheer me up no end.

It was no good; I broke down and sobbed into one of the sofa cushions. Why the hell did I care? I wanted him to distance himself from me but when he did ... Now I loved him but I couldn't. Especially when he and Wesley were so identical.

Damn you Wesley. You broke my wings just in time for Seth to ask me to fly.

I cried and cried until there were no more tears and I was just sobbing into the sofa.

I heard a creak on the stairs and got up rubbing my eyes. "Hey Seth, you took your time." As I got up my feet twisted together and I toppled forwards. I reached out to brake my fall. I felt a sharp pain up my arm and heard the crunch as I hit the ground.

"Wash the wound and check for any shards of glass and I'll get you a bandage." Seth had rushed to my side and got me to my feet immediately. He had helped me without hesitating.

I was always clumsy but I didn't really hurt myself much. I needed the hospital quickly but Seth would need to call an ambulance as I couldn't drive like this and he was too young.

I shook my head. I was avoiding the issue, Seth didn't care about me, he didn't want to look after me, he didn't want me to be happy, he didn't even see me as a friend. He loved me.

I saw it in his eyes, I was everything to him. I heard him behind me and held out my arm and felt the bandage being wrapped round my arm. "You alright? We should probably get you to a doctor just in case you did any real harm."

He let my arm go and I hugged it to my chest. "I'm sorry Seth." Distancing us wasn't going to work and now it was too late.

"What for?"

"No, never mind." I smiled at him doing my usual trick of closing my eyes. A smile is only real if you can see it in the eyes, hidden eyes and you can't tell if it's real. "Thank you"

"Don't worry Bella; I will always be there to catch you. Well you know not so much catch you as mop up afterwards. I mean I want to catch you but I may not be there and ..."

I leaned forwards and kissed him gently but then spoke up. "I'm sorry Seth I really wish I could return those feelings but I can't. If you hate me for leading you on I would understand but I thought it was right, I'm so sorry."

I blinked back the last few tears.

OK I ment to have the first of thease chapters up yesterday but my sister had a party that got out of hand. there were four people that were sober and forty 15 year olds who were tottaly smashed out of there heads. I do have to save thank god for my friend Steven, he helped out loads.

onto the chapters. Here we have some hinting at Bella's backstory and also some hints towards a oneshot I'm gonna write sometime soon.

I forgot to mention it but in chapter 4 there were some arc words (words repeated often that don't get explained till the end of the story) for the whole silicaverse (the universe some of my storys are set in, for more info look at my profile)

oh and for thouse of you wondering MegaTokyo is a webcomic I read and in later story lines is mega depresing.