A Wistful Love

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this story. They all belong to Tamora Pierce.

Chapter 4

Star Gazing and Meadows

It was evening. After her ride with Yuki, Kel had spent the rest of the day catching up with all her friends. They'd spent time in the city and Kel had even finished shopping for her Midsummer gifts. At one particular shop she'd found a set of delicate Yamani china plates. The price had been exorbitant, but she'd known that they were the perfect thing for Yuki. Neal had been easy. A thick leather-bound book of famous battles would keep him occupied for a while. For Owen, Kel bought a brace of throwing knives. She knew such things always fascinated him. Faleron would receive a Raven Armory cleaning kit for swords. Recently, he'd acquired a very nice new blade. Her gift would help keep his weapon in top condition. Lord Raoul's gift had given her some trouble, but she'd eventually decided on a painting depicting a warrior defeating a giant. The warrior had held a distinct resemblance to Raoul himself. She'd thought her former knight master would find the irony of it amusing.

The last gift Kel had found had been Dom's. Kel knew that it should have been simple, but for some reason her mind had refused to cooperate. She'd agonized over several different items before deciding on an elaborately designed knife. It had been expertly made with sapphire accents. The color of the stones in the handle had matched Dom's eyes perfectly. Kel remembered staring at the weapon and thinking of his warm gaze. It had been a singularly embarrassing moment for her when she'd realized that she couldn't even buy a gift without getting lost in memories of his face. Disgusted with herself, Kel had finished shopping for her family and banished all thoughts of Dom from her mind for the rest of the day.

When her exhausting hours spent in the city had been over and done with, Kel had sought out her former knight master. Before his departure from Tortall, Kel had promised to challenge him in response to his teasing remarks on his 'excellent chess-playing ability'. Laughingly Kel had declared that she'd improved and was a worthy match for him. They'd decided that there was nothing for it except a three-game mini tournament to decide the better player. Kel had played all three chess games with Lord Raoul before conceding defeat and retreating back to her rooms.

Now Kel stared up blankly from her bed, unable to sleep. Her mind refused to quiet and instead turned with the day's events. Nothing of any importance had happened, yet rest continued to evade her. Closing her eyes, Kel tried emptying her mind, leaving her thoughts blank. It didn't work. Frustrated and tired of waiting for sleep to come, Kel climbed out of bed and reached for her clothes. Soon she was dressed in breeches and a tunic. Lacing up her boots, she glanced out the window. The moon was a sliver of silver in the sky.

It was late now, the midnight watch having been called about an hour before. Grabbing a blanket from her bed, Kel headed out the door. The halls were quiet and empty, her hollow footsteps echoing off the stone corridors. Not even a servant stirred at this time of night. As she jogged down the steps leading to the stables, Kel thought back to her time as a page. Back then her days had been filled with lessons and her nights in exhausted sleep. Life had been routine then. Now without a war or battles to fight, Kel had to look for things to fill her day. She had entirely too much time on her hands.

When Kel finally approached the stable doors, she paused. Deciding not to disturb the horses, she headed around the large building and made her way to the open field. It was empty now, the horses stabled and quiet. Long, wild grass blew gently on the night breeze and the musical song of crickets filled the air. Kel closed her eyes took a deep breath. Peace seemed to settle over her like a blanket.

Walking to the gate, Kel opened the latch, slipped through, and then carefully closed it behind her. She wandered across the open meadow, looking for a nice flat spot to put her blanket down. When she finally found the perfect place, Kel sighed heavily in satisfaction. Then lying flat on her back, she gazed up at the heavens. The night sky was an all-encompassing blanket of stars. Each small pinpoint of light seemed to shine brighter than the last. Kel knew that there were stories and constellations with long scientific names that belonged to each one, but right then it didn't matter. The moment was too magical to put a label to. Instead, Kel made up her own constellations.

She found Peachblossom, his mane blowing in the wind. An especially bright star made up his eye. The gleam of it seemed to mirror his own unique personality. And then there was Jump, her loyal but homely dog, his crooked tail waving cheerfully. She found hundreds of others, each one taking the shape of one of her friends or family. All too soon she began to grow drowsy, her eyelids becoming heavier and heavier. Kel finally slipped into sleep, her dreams filled with horses galloping across the star-studded sky.

4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4

Dawn was breaking, the brightening rays of sun beginning to peak above the trees. Dom led his horse, Bayfire, to the gate of the meadow. Bayfire was a new mount and fairly young. The gelding's name matched both his personality and the color of his coat, which seemed to ripple with auburn flames. Because he was barely broken in, Dom liked to put him through his paces early in the morning. Bayfire was just getting used to his new rider, but was not yet ready to heed Dom's every command. Though he no longer had a stallion's high-strung temperament, his spirit remained barely leashed. Dom hoped that these early morning exercises would soon settle the young horse down.

Opening the gate, Dom led Bayfire through, then closed it firmly behind him. Then with a single fluid motion, he mounted up. Bayfire immediately began to dance in place, eager to be going. Dom tightened his hold on the reins, then directed his mount to start out at a simple walk. He didn't want to take off with out warming the animal up first. When Bayfire had walked for a few minutes, Dom nudged him into a trot, then judging that his horse was ready, he let him out into a canter, then gallop. When they had circled the field once, Dom slowed him down and set him to walk again down the center of the field. Frustrated at being restrained, Bayfire fought the tight hold Dom kept on the reins. When he realized that fidgeting would get him nowhere, the horse blew out a breath that seemed to concede defeat. Dom laughed and patted Bayfire's flank.

"It's not so bad, boy, now is it? Just a few more minutes and I'll let you out again."

Bay snorted, and continued walking, his ears flicking back to catch his master's voice. It looked as if Bayfire was becoming more obedient. Dom had just begun to relax, when his mount abruptly stopped and refused to budge. When Dom signaled for Bay to move forward again, the gelding snorted and began to back up.

"What's gotten into you boy? I thought we had these stubborn problems sorted out. I guess you need more work than I originally planned."

Bay shook his head vigorously as if disagreeing, then sidestepped and tossed his head. The motion revealed the reason for Bay's halt. Directly in his path was a person. The long grass had made it virtually impossible for Dom to see directly ahead. Instead of being stubborn, Dom's horse had simply wanted to avoid stepping on the silly human in front of him. Dismounting, Dom rubbed Bay's nose in apology, then carefully made his way the very still form in his path. Pushing the long grass out of the way, Dom peered down into the mysterious person's face. Shock transformed his features when he recognized Kel's unmistakable face. Panic rose. Was she injured? Dead? Kneeling, Dom gazed at her worriedly. There didn't appear to be any obvious injuries, but that didn't mean anything. Leaning down, he listened to her breathe and noted the pallor of her face . Her breathing was slow and even and her color seemed normal. That's when Dom noticed the blanket beneath her. It was spread out neatly, the surface smooth. Someone had deliberately unfolded it that way.

That's when it hit him. Kel was sleeping, not hurt. Feeling ridiculous for over-reacting, Dom settled back onto his haunches. She'd probably fallen asleep while looking at the stars. It was such an un-Kel like thing to do, but it was the only plausible explanation. Sighing, Dom stared at her peaceful features. Her eyes were closed, Kel's long lashes casting a shadow on her cheeks. A light smattering of freckles over the bridge of her nose gave her an almost child-like appearance. Dom shook his head ruefully. That wasn't entirely correct. She portrayed the innocence of a child but her form was all-woman. Kel had long since blossomed into a beautiful lady, though she didn't seem to realize it. He'd once heard Kel describe herself as thick-wasted and sturdy. Her comment at the time had made him angry. Kel was perfect the way she was. She didn't need to change. When he'd said as much, she'd just laughed lightly and shook her head before changing the subject. Frustrated with the memory, Dom gazed back down at Kel.

She was still fast asleep, her lips parted softly in complete relaxation. He wondered what they'd feel like. Petal soft, he thought and very sweet. When Dom caught his hand hovering over her face, he snatched it back then clenched his fist. He had no business touching her, especially when she was unaware. To her, he was just a friend. Dom was sure that Kel would be horrified if she thought he harbored feelings for her. His fingers still itching to touch, Dom let his gaze roam over her shoulder-length hair. It was a light cinnamon color interspersed with strands of gold from the sun. He'd always hated it when she'd chopped it off. Though she remained beautiful, her hair long and flowing made him want to bury his hands in it. He could imagine what it'd feel like. Silky smooth and straight.

This time his desire got the better of him and a hand stroked the hair gently away from her face. As if aware of his butterfly touch, Kel moved, her leg nudging his. Surprised by the sudden push, Dom's precarious balance was lost. Though he shifted to ease most of his weight away from her, the sudden feel of him startled her awake. Kel's hazel eyes flew open and stared into his, her own clouded with confusion and sleep. Her palms rested flat against his chest and their faces lay only inches away from each other. When Dom had fallen, he'd caught most of his weight on his forearms, but his legs had tangled with hers. Now their chests only a hairsbreadth apart.

Kel's gaze remained confused for only moments before awareness flared. Her soft hazel eyes widened and her mouth parted ever so slightly. Dom could feel the quickening of her breath and thud of her heart. It was if they were the only two people in the world and everything around them disappeared. Lifting a hand, Dom gently brushed the pad of his thumb over her cheek. Kel flinched and her breath shuddered out from between her lips in shock. The stillness of the moment was broken by Dom's unruly horse. Obviously impatient with his master and eager to go, Bayfire nipped Dom's shoulder. The moment lost, Dom yelped in pain, then rolled away from Kel. Lifting himself up onto his elbows he glared at his mount.

"What was that for? You really need to learn some manners. We definitely don't need another Peachblossom."

By now Kel had recovered from her surprise. Scrambling up, her face flushed with embarrassment, she stared down at Dom who was now sitting up and rubbing his shoulder. He continued to glare at his horse.

"Dom! What are you doing here? I don't remember how—I mean when—" Kel stopped when she realized she was stumbling over her own words.

Dom sighed, then struggled to stand. Realizing this fact, Kel offered him a hand. He took it gratefully and with her help, managed his feet without falling. Kel could feel the heat in her cheeks and fought to keep her face Yamani smooth. Her heart was still thundering and she knew that if she wasn't careful she'd begin to babble again. Finally mastering an emotionless face, Kel wiped her sweaty hands on her breeches.

Dom was brushing the loose grass from his clothes and had not yet met her eyes. Taking a firm hold on his horse's reins, he finally turned to face her.

"It was my fault. I was out riding Bayfire when he suddenly stopped for no apparent reason. When I saw you lying on the ground, I thought you must have fallen. I panicked. I didn't realize you were just asleep. When I bent over to check your breathing, you moved and I lost my balance. And well, you know the rest."

Kel nodded slowly. Of course it was by accident. He hadn't meant to land on top of her.

"It's alright. I must have fallen asleep last night while I was star gazing. I didn't mean to. I just couldn't sleep so I thought that some fresh air would help."

Dom smiled easily and motioned toward the palace.

"It's all right. I'm just glad that Bayfire hadn't stepped all over you. I'm sure that would have been a very rude awakening. It's almost time for breakfast. We should both probably head in. At least you got a good night's rest, right?"

Kel forced a smile.

"Yes, I did."

Neither mentioned their almost-kiss as they left the now sunny meadow.

Author's Note: Hey everyone. First of all, thanks for the great reviews. I always enjoy reading all the feedback. I'd also like to apologize for the overly-long chapter. When I wrote it, there didn't seem to be a good place to stop without making it too short or leaving it off at an awkward spot. This chapter was lots of fun to write and I hope you all enjoy it. I would really love lots of reviews on this one. Thanks! —Lupus17