"Can we please talk?"

Sarah does nothing but watch him for a moment, then wordlessly opens the door wider, steps aside to let him walk through.

Chuck likes Sarah's apartment-slash-hotel room, though he doesn't get to spend as much time here as he would like. Nothing ever changes, and it's always very neat, but every time he comes he tries to look for something of hers; something with her own personal touch. The first time he saw that she had a framed picture of the two of them together his heart did little flips. He doesn't spot the frame this time but he does see a book on her nightstand: 1984. He latches on to it, stores it in the part of his brain that stores Sarah facts.

Sarah Facts:

Sarah doesn't like olives

Sarah wants children

Sarah reads 1984… is maybe a fan of classic literature and epic, forbidden love

"What's up, Chuck?"

He spins to see her. She's in her work uniform and tying her hair back.

"First off, I never meant to hit you."

She sighs. "Chuck, I provoked you."

"I don't care. I should have never done that, even if it was a flash. I'm so sorry, Sarah. I actually kind of apologized to you in a dream I had—that's how badly I want you to know that I'm sorry."

This mention of his dream seems to get to her and she smiles, just a little bit. "Ok," she says. "I accept your apology."

His eyes light up and a grin slowly goes wide on his face. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," she says, still smiling. "Of course."

He exhales. He is relieved.

"Good, great! Thank you. Ok, second apology of the day: I'm sorry I yelled at you at the beach. When I said that you were too afraid to change I was just… it was a heat-of-the-moment sort of thing. I didn't mean it."

"No?"

"No, of course not. We were both upset about what happened, and about Bryce, and you have to understand that I had just downloaded this new thing into my head and it was a very confusing time for me and I can't be held accountable for anything I said. Please. Forgive me."

He watches her carefully to see if she's with him on this. Even if what was said can't be taken back he hopes that she sees how sorry he is. More than anything he just wants her to be happy again. And, a little more selfishly, for her to not be angry with him anymore.

But. She still seems on the fence. He takes this opportunity to go over to her, and he takes it as a good sign that she lets him. "Remember the motel?"

She nods. Of course she does. How could she forget?

Chuck is so close to her now, close enough to touch foreheads. "You were happy then, right?"

She nods. He's close enough to fix a loose strand behind her ear.

"Every time you're mad at me I want you to think of that morning in the hotel. Back when you liked me."

She is smiling one of her tiny smiles again and it's when she looks him in the eye that he knows he's got her, and when she looks him in the lips, her own slightly parted, that he knows she wants to be kissed.

Knowing when a girl wants to be kissed-- and by him, no less—is one of the greatest pieces of information a guy can have. And he doesn't even need the intersect to tell him that.

So he kisses her.

When he stops-- reluctantly (because that will always be reluctant)-- she is smiling and touching the side of his face. "You didn't shave," she says.

She doesn't say it like she minds the stubble, more like she appreciates it as a thoughtful gesture. She runs her hand across his jaw, chin and he knows that she likes the way the scruff feels. He digs his cheek into her palm the way a cat would into his master's.

\\\

When Chuck wakes up he's rubbing his chin raw. At first it is a wonderful feeling because though his body is awake his mind is still in Sarah's apartment, in the dream, and he thinks it's all Sarah's doing. But slowly he stops, comes to a realization. He looks around and sees that he's in his bedroom and he's disheartened and a little shocked.

This was his most vivid dream yet.

What actually happened went a lot different.

What actually happened was that Sarah swung open her door and he said, "Can we please talk?"

She let him in and Chuck saw a book on her nightstand: 1984. He latched on to it, stored it in the part of his brain that stored Sarah facts.

Sarah Facts:

Sarah hates olives

Sarah once loved his once-best friend

Sarah reads 1984… is maybe obsessed with government control, sexual repression… misery

"What's up, Chuck?"

What actually happened was that he spun around to see her and blurted out, "Can we just forget the whole thing?"

Not much in the way of an apology but he just wanted to go back to normal. Back to their version of normal, anyway.

Sarah sighed like she didn't have time and Chuck figured she probably didn't because her fake job started in about half an hour and she was already ready to go. "And to what are you referring?" she had asked.

"I'm referring to me hitting you during training. I'm really sorry I did that."

"Ok, you're forgiven."

"Really? It's that easy?"

"Yes, Chuck, it's that easy."

What Chuck had thought was, Say it like you mean it. What he actually said was, "And I'm sorry for what happened before that, on the beach. To tell you the truth I can't even remember what we fought about it. But I'm still sorry about it."

He had hoped that she'd find his heart-on-his-sleeve approach, his puppy-dog eyes, his humility endearing. What actually happened was that her eyes narrowed and her forehead creased.

"What you said was that I was too afraid to change."

"Oh."

"And what we were fighting about was the fact that you downloaded a new intersect into your head for reasons you still can't explain."

The man with the puppy dog eyes felt very much like a runt with his tail between his legs.

"But it's ok, Chuck. I understand that you need a friend right now so you don't have to apologize. We were both out of our heads that night."

Friend. Any other word would've been better than just friend.

"I just don't want you to be mad at me anymore," he had said.

What actually happened was there was a bit of silence that had hung between them then. The sort of silence that occurred when a problem got resolved but a new one surfaced. A problem Chuck couldn't exactly pinpoint. But it was there, in the vast distance between them. Indeed, Chuck did not like having conversations with Sarah when she was across the room.

His instinct had been to say something, maybe give a little laugh at the end of it and push that dead silence away, but what actually happened was that Sarah, usually the quieter of the two, spoke up instead.

"Do you remember the motel?"

He nodded. Of course he did. How could he forget?

"I was happy then. Really happy."

"Sarah…"

He hadn't said anything else because he could see that she wanted to say more. She was struggling with it, looking down at the floor and avoiding his gave altogether. Finally she spoke.

"At the beach? You said that I was going with Bryce, on a new mission. But, I wasn't. Before Bryce died I let him know that I was going to stay."

What actually happened was that Chuck distinctly remembered his final moments with Bryce. (Deciding to download the new intersect; watching your friend die: it's not a moment easily forgotten.) One of the last things Bryce had ever said to him was, "She wasn't going to come."

Chuck realized all at once and all too late that all Sarah wanted to do was stay with him, maybe go back to Barstow and find a motel. And instead of having that epiphany right then, all Chuck had been able to think about in the seconds before he'd downloaded a super computer into his head was fighting Fulcrum and being a hero.

"Going on more missions, that's not what I wanted," Sarah went on. "I have no idea why I didn't tell you sooner… this is all my fault, so you don't need to apologize for anything. It was just a big misunderstanding."

"Yeah," Chuck nodded. "A misunderstanding."

That silence continued to linger and that small problem Chuck couldn't pinpoint was growing larger by the instant.

"Anyway, we should probably get to work."

Chuck nodded and the held the door open for her.

And that was what actually happened.