Nine: Cry, Scream
SAKURA
"W-what?" I blurted out stupidly as my bottom collided with the hard plastic chair.
Sato-san rolled her eyes. "You heard me, Kinomoto," she spit out, my surname sounding like it was acid that was burning her tongue. "Who the fuck do you think you are, going after Li-kun like that?"
Syaoran popped into my head and something clicked in my brain. "You're Nina's friends," I stated.
"Yes, yes we are. And we're doing what she's too nice to do," Sato-san said, standing directly in front of me. "Exposing you for the conniving little slut that you are."
I felt the blood run out of my face at the word 'slut,' but I didn't respond.
Sato-san furrowed her eyebrows and crossed her arms over her chest. "Why are you dating Li-kun?"
I looked away, deciding that I didn't have to answer her.
She roughly grabbed my chin and turned my face so that I was looking straight at her. "You want to fucking ruin Li-kun, don't you?" I pulled back, out of her grip, but she just moved her face closer to mine. "Everyone you come in contact with is miserable, Sakura-chan." She said my name so mockingly it made me cringe. "What happened to Takeshi?"
At the sound of his name, something tugged in my chest, some near-forgotten painful heartstring, and my vision went blurry as a thick veil of tears covered my eyes. "Y-you--" I started, my voice marmalade thick.
"I what?" she said harshly, her eyes blazing.
"You…don't know anything about that!" I said, my voice now raw with emotion.
Sato-san laughed a humorless laugh, finally backing away from me. "He's dead! Dead! And why, why Kinomoto? Because of you!"
"That's not true!" I shouted, covering my ears, closing my eyes, willing everything to disappear, willing this to just be a dream, a horrible, chilling nightmare.
"It is true! Why did you let him get in that car, Kinomoto-san?" Now she was right next to me, speaking into my ear. "And what about your mother?" she suddenly said.
My eyes popped open and I stared at her, dumbfounded. "Wh-what?"
"Why didn't you try harder?" she taunted. "Why? Don't you love your own mother? Or were you too busy fucking Takeshi, too busy killing him? Was your mother not important enough? Did you decide that she wasn't worth fighting for?"
My throat burned and fresh tears flowed out of my eyes. None of it was true, oh God, none of it was even close to true. I just wanted to get out. I just wanted it to stop; I wanted her to stop. "N-no," I managed to choke out. "She had an illness!" The words were mangled by sobs. "Th-they said there was nothing we could do!"
"You should've tried harder," she whispered icily into my ear.
I bolted up from my chair, having told myself those words so, so many times. I just couldn't take this anymore.
--
SYAORAN
My phone rang and I hesitated answering it, seeing as it was from an unknown number. But I flipped it open and quickly said, "Hello?"
"Li-kun, oh my God, please come to the school!" said a high-pitched voice from the other line. I was about to hang up, thinking it was just some annoying girl who wanted to confess 'undying love' for me. "I-it's about Kinomoto-san!"
I bolted up and grabbed my keys, running past a confused Meiling and sprinting down to my car, quickly getting in. "What's going on?" I asked the girl on the other end of the phone. I heard some muffled yelling in the background, and suddenly I imagined Sakura in a fight with somebody. I stepped on the gas pedal.
She gasped and then said, "Just, please! Please!"
--
SAKURA
"Sakura!"
I never thought in my whole life that I'd be so happy to hear my name called by that voice. I quickly stood up from my sitting position on the floor and I turned my attention down the hall, where Syaoran was standing. He spotted me and ran to me. When he reached the place I was standing, his amber eyes turned cold.
"What the fuck happened?" he said harshly and the tears started again, then I realized that he wasn't talking to me; he was directing the question to Tanaka-san, standing outside of the yearbook room, gripping a cell phone, her eyes wide and sad. She shook her head wildly and then Sato-san stepped out of the room.
Her face was smug at first but then expression turned to one of oh shit when she saw Syaoran standing there giving her the coldest look I'd ever seen. I flinched when she looked at me and then I looked away, pushing myself against Syaoran.
"P-please, let's just go," I murmured. Syaoran put his arm around my waist and half-walked, half-dragged me to his car, where I climbed into the passenger seat and put my face in my hands.
I was distantly aware of Syaoran starting the car, distantly aware of the tears still relentlessly streaming down my face, distantly aware of the feel of cool fingers on my forehead until everything just fell away.
--
SYAORAN
"What happened?" Meiling asked worriedly as I carried a sleeping, sobbing Sakura into the apartment. I set her on the couch and looked at Meiling.
"I don't know. Some girl called me and told me to go to the school, that it was something about Sakura. I showed up there and Sakura was crying and then there's this little bitch and I'm not even sure but all I know is that I just want to fucking kill somebody, Meiling," I explained quickly, sitting down on the couch, placing Sakura's head on my lap. I ran my hands through my hair and looked at Meiling again. "She never even frowns and this bitch makes her cry."
Meiling sat down the loveseat across from the couch and ran a hand through her hair. "She's waking up. I'll leave you two alone," she said softly, getting up and ducking into my room.
I looked down and I was met by the stunning green of Sakura's eyes. She quickly sat up, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "I-I'm sorry," she whispered, her back to me.
I didn't know what to say. What was she sorry about? Crying? Falling asleep? I blinked a few times and she turned to me, her expression so sad. "Will you go somewhere with me?"
--
SAKURA
Syaoran's eyes widened as I pointed to the graveyard. He took the last turn and parked, running a hand through his already messy hair and getting out of the car, then opening my door.
I took his hand gently and led him down a path that I knew well. A breeze picked up and rose petals were scattered from a nearby grave, dancing around the stone path that went through the cemetery.
I stopped at one and bent down, running my fingers over the dips in the stone, a name that hurt and healed at the same time. Utagawa Takeshi. Syaoran bent down next to me and followed my fingers.
"We were together," I started softly, "for a little over a year. We…got into a fight. It was raining outside." I cleared my throat. Syaoran looked at me but I focused on the carvings on the grave, the words and dates I had memorized. "Somebody hit him," I finished unceremoniously.
There was so much more that I wanted to tell him, so much more that I wanted to tell somebody, anybody. Like how even though I'd been mad at him, he'd smiled at me when he'd left. Or how the last words I'd said to him were "good bye," so simple and stupid. But I didn't know if I was hurting him, talking about a past boyfriend like this.
"That first Thursday you came to my house, remember? Scary movies?" I said, giving him a small smile. "That was…the anniversary of one year of his death."
--
SYAORAN
I gasped at her last statement. That day, she hadn't seemed sad at all. Fuck, I wish I'd seen it. Fuck, I wish I could help her. Fuck, I wish I knew what those girls had said to her.
She stood up and held out a hand for me to take. I took it and stood up, squeezing it gently.
I heard her sigh and she looked at me for second before closing her eyes and letting the breeze hit her face. "I…blamed myself for his death for a long time. I kept thinking 'What if we hadn't gotten into that fight?' 'What if I hadn't let him leave?' I…realized that there was nothing I could've changed, though, nothing I could've really done."
She took a turn on the path and she paused in front of another grave, her eyes tearing up. I glanced at the name and found myself mesmerized by it. Kinomoto Nadeshiko. I found myself looking even closer at the date on the stone.
My eyes widened as I realized that the date of death on her mother's grave was only a month after Utagawa's.
She raised her arms in the air and laughed cheerfully, so carefree, like we weren't standing in front of her mother's grave. "Mom always said to be positive, to be happy. Alwaus, always, always."
I looked at her and pulled her into a hug. "Sakura…" I murmured, burying my face in her hair.
"Yeah?" she said quietly.
"You know…you don't always have to hide what you're feeling. If you're sad, tell me. You can cry, you can scream, you can pout, whatever. Nobody is going to resent you for being something other than happy," I said, stroking her back. Her shoulders started shaking and she pulled out of the embrace a little bit, looking at me with her wet emerald eyes.
--
SAKURA
It was exactly what Takeshi had told me.
"Saku, get mad at me! Tell me you're not gonna talk to me! Scream! Cry!"
I opened my mouth and closed it again, burying my face in his chest. "Let's go back to the car. I want to tell you what happened."
Syaoran grabbed my hand and kissed me gently. I pulled him in for a deeper kiss and I felt him smile against my lips. I quickly wiped away my tears and smiled at him.
"Is that a real smile? Not a 'I want Syaoran to think I'm okay so I'm just going to smile' smile?" Syaoran asked, raising an eyebrow at me.
I smiled softly and said, "Every smile of mine around you is real."
--
Wow, this was super late! I'm so sorry. Gosh, I feel like a broken record. But I hope you all liked this chapter and I hope it cleared some things up for you guys. *cough beginningofchapterfour cough* Oh and I hope I didn't bother you guys by switching from Sakura to Syaoran and back so much! Sorry again. |D
Next chapter is hopefully coming soon. It is winter break, after all.
=]