A/N: First of all, a couple of disclaimers. 1) I have not watched CSI since Grissom left the lab. Feel free to call any and all elements of this story AU, Non-canon or OOC, but I will be writing on the premise that Grissom joined Sara in Costa Rica and these are how the events unfolded. While my goal is to finish this story, it may not be as long as the two previous GSR stories I wrote. Yes, there will be smut! Also, I do encourage you to put this on your updates list, since I make no promises about my publishing schedule.

Chapter Four

That night, Sara lay on her cot in agony. She was remarkably restless, but refused to shift her position as often as she wanted to. She knew Grissom was on the other side of the barrier of boxes she had Jamie created to give them each a modicum of privacy. She also knew from previous experience that she could hear every sound Jamie made and vice versa. Every movement she made would cause the cot to creak and Grissom would know she was still awake. She kept her breathing deep and even and tried to utilize every relaxation technique she had ever been taught. Yet, it was useless and sleep eluded her. The only thing that caused her a moment of victory was that Grissom was awake as well. After years of sleeping in the same bed she knew he snored like a chain saw attacking an oak tree. His side of the tent was also silent.

Her thoughts were a torrential whirlwind in her head and she could not get settled. She took a deep breath and tried to make a list of all that was zooming through her mind. Number One: Grissom was here. Number Two: Grissom quit the lab. Number Three: Grissom was here. Number Four: He had sold the townhouse. Number Five: Grissom was here. She faded off to sleep as the birds began to chirp with the same thoughts repeating. Grissom…here…Grissom.

She awoke with a start and was temporarily confused. Then she heard the familiar rustle of Gil getting dressed. In her mind she could practically dress him by the sounds she heard. There was a pause of silence and she knew he was finished dressing. He noticeably cleared his throat.

"Sara? I'm not exactly sure what we do next," he said softly.

She bit back a rueful smile as she contemplated the numerous implications in that statement. Personally, the thought was 100 percent mutual. But she knew his statement wasn't discussing their current impasse. She sat up and coughed to clear her throat. She would keep the sarcasm out of her voice. They had worked together 1000 times, only this time she was the teacher and he was the student.

"It's a pretty easy daily routine, Gil," she said. "Jamie was more of a morning person, so he usually used the facilities first. I showed you where the toilet and makeshift shower were yesterday. Jamie preferred to shave, just because he thought it was more sanitary, but a lot of the guys at different sites don't shave. Anyway, while he would make the coffee and shave while I did my thing."

He left the tent and she quickly got dressed and went to the camp stove. By the time he returned she had the coffee almost ready and was in the process of making eggs and rice. He watched her without comment. He tried to appear nonchalant, but inside he was feeling very awkward and out of his element. She cleared away some papers from a multipurpose table and placed the bowls on the table. She waved her hand and they sat down to eat. All of this was very mundane and predictable, yet the tension was thick in the air. He wondered if she could smell his fear.

Midway through the meal she put him out of his misery and began to explain the basic rhythm and routine of the site. Whenever she trailed off or became silent he would ask a question and keep her lecture of sorts from concluding.

That was how it was for the next three days. When they spoke, it was work related. She was never unfriendly, just not overly inviting. Meal times were silent and each night seemed to last for 100 hours. He knew Sara was not sleeping; she grew paler and more peaked.

CSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSI

The water was rushing in and she was trapped underneath the car. She struggled with all of her strength to break free and was still trapped. She gasped as she began to drown. This is how she would die. Alone. Would they find her body? Would Gil and the team ever forgive themselves? What would become of her mother? She would never find her brother. In a Herculean effort she wrenched free and climbed out from underneath the car that which had almost become her watery coffin. As she stood on shaky legs, choking back her panic, a clap of thunder echoed and bolt of lightning zigzagged across the sky illuminating the area for just a brief moment.

Natalie was less than a foot away with a pistol aimed at her head.

"Sara? Sara, honey…wake up. You're safe now…well as safe as you can be in the rain forest," Gil tried to joke. He had tripped over boxes to get to her side of the tent when he heard her scream. He could feel the blood running down his leg and he didn't care. She had been crying in her sleep.

Sara gasped and tried to restore her breathing. She was sitting up and her chest was heaving as she gulped the air around her. It was pitch black in the tent and Gil was kneeling next to her cot. She wiped away a combination of sweat and tears.

"I try not to think about her…but she invades my subconscious," she said.

Gil was sure his heart and mind were breaking. "I know," he said. "I wish there was something I could do, I wish I had done more when it happened. I should have figured it out sooner who she was."

Sara shook her head. "I don't blame you for anything," she said softly.

He reached for her blindly in the dark and she held his hand between hers. He choked back a sob and said with heartfelt anguish, "I am so, so sorry."

A moment of silence stretched into seconds as they stayed so very still. She sitting on her cot and him kneeling awkwardly on the floor. She reached out tentatively and felt the tears on his face. She pulled him toward her and after a few attempts they were lying together on the cot, facing each other. The cot was ridiculously too small and parts of each of their bodies were hanging off the edge. It was uncomfortable and they held each other tightly, like both of them were depending on the other for survival. This is how Sara drifted into a wonderfully dreamless sleep.