Disclaimer: I don't own Spock or Nyota
This scene referenced below is in Descartes' Error Chapter 7 - Breakdown
Expectations
"You expected what?" Nyota asked.
They were lying in bed on a lazy Sunday morning. Her back was against his chest and Spock's hand was on her forehead; he felt a sudden shock of...
Disbelief tinged with annoyance...
He was curious. Had the misunderstanding been that deep? They were discussing their first night together, before Spock had developed any feelings for Nyota. Commander Sharpton had all but ordered him to take her out for dinner or drinks to show his appreciation for her hard work as his assistant. She'd moved his research months ahead of schedule...
One thing had led to another, or more accurately, one thing had led to a fight in a back alley with some drunken thugs. He'd won the scuffle, but there had been blood and bruising, and Nyota had insisted he get himself cleaned up...He'd touched her hands, maybe not entirely accidentally...
"I knew you were attracted to me from the brief empathic link formed when I moved your hands away from my face," Spock said. "When we went back to my apartment to get some ice -- "
"For your bruised and bloody lip," Nyota said.
One of Spock's eyebrows rose, "-- and then you allowed me to kiss you and pull you onto my lap I naturally assumed that --"
"You know we have a say when someone assumes, it makes an ass out of --"
"I am familiar with the expression," said Spock.
"I was not planning on sleeping with you that night!" Nyota snapped.
"You were in my apartment, on my lap."
"I didn't plan on being in your apartment!" Nyota said sharply. "And I didn't plan on kissing you either...you kissed me!"
Spock kissed the back of her neck. "True enough."
Nyota sighed. "I did really, really, want to kiss you..."
"But...?" Spock asked.
"I did not want to sleep with you! I wouldn't have even let you scoot me onto your lap if you hadn't done the empathetic link thingy and flashed me that wave of desire and lust," Nyota said.
Spock felt his ears go a little green...
Through the link Spock felt...
...Aggravation.
"And even then I didn't expect to sleep with you that night," Nyota said. "I thought we might kiss, make out, discuss our feelings for one another..."
Feelings which at that point had been completely absent in Spock's case. And perhaps only rudimentary in Nyota's...Now it was completely different of course...
She continued, "I thought we'd discuss what a really, really, really bad idea it was since I am a cadet and you are an instructor..."
He couldn't believe either of them had risked their careers for so little...
"...but you really thought we'd be having sex together..." Nyota said shaking her head.
No use denying it. "Yes."
"Oh." Nyota was silent for a while. She scooted a little closer to his body. She was so cool and enticing and...but across the link came only the feeling of...
...Apprehension.
At last Nyota said, "Well, fortunately we didn't."
Fortunately?
Something must have slipped across the link...
"Spock..." Nyota said.
What would have happened if they had consummated the relationship...before there was a relationship? Would there have been fallout that hurt one or both of their careers? Not that their current activities didn't put their careers in jeopardy enough.
Would he have fallen in love with her? Would he feel as bonded to her as he did now?
It was impossible to try and look back, change one event and see how the present might have played out in some separate reality...there were simply too many variables to calculate. But he was pleased with how events had played out in this reality.
Spock pulled Nyota more tightly to him. "Fortunately," he whispered.