Here it is: my absolute favorite chapter so far! I am in love with this one. It may be a little cheesy, but staircases really do move that slow.
James, Sirius, and Remus ran.
James was a good four feet in front of the two other boys, with Sirius just behind him and Remus a little bit behind Sirius. James turned around, grinned at his friends, and kept running.
Yes, they had left detention a bit early. All right, a lot early. But Snape was probably still wiping the soap out of his eyes from when James shoved the mop in his face. James grinned. That was a moment he would never forget.
They rounded a corner, James calling, "Come on, hurry up!" Both Sirius and Remus sped up, Sirius passing James and skidding around the corner. His robes flew out behind him wildly, and James wouldn't have been surprised if they had slowed Sirius down. He somewhat resembled a giant black parachute.
The clock suddenly chimed eleven from somewhere in the castle. Sirius broke down into a walk, and James and Remus followed suit. "Why are we hurrying anyway?" Remus panted, stopping and bracing himself by putting his hands upon his knees. "We've had detention. We won't be in trouble for staying out this late."
"Too true," Sirius said, cocking an eyebrow and giving a mischievous look to James and Remus. James smiled back. "So what should we do?"
"Stay up," answered James at the same time that Remus piped, "Go to bed!"
James shot a look at Remus. "Oh, come on! Have a little fun!"
Remus looked as if he was struggling with himself for a moment, his leg twitching strangely. "Okay," he finally breathed, and James and Sirius high-fived each other. "But let's get our wands first." James and Sirius nodded, and the three set off for the Gryffindor common room.
Five minutes later, they were panting, standing in front of the Fat Lady. She was snoring loudly. "Hey," Sirius hissed at her, "hey!"
"Huh, what?" the Fat Lady asked, starting up and blinking drowsily at the three boys. "What are you doing out—"
"Dracodormiensnunquamtitillandus," Remus said quickly.
"Oh, fine, don't tell me," the Fat Lady said hurtfully, but she swung forward on her hinges anyway. The three boys scrambled through, quickly and quietly running through the silent common room and dashing up the staircase. James and Sirius and Remus found their wands under their pillows, taking care not to wake Peter.
James and Remus were already out the door when Remus realized Sirius was not behind them. "Where—?" Remus asked James, and they suddenly heard the strangest noise come from inside the dormitory.
Sirius stood in the middle of the room, holding his noise. "Bless me," he whispered with a sheepish grin. And then Peter woke up.
"Where've youse been?" Peter asked groggily, rubbing his eyes and sitting up.
"Damn," Sirius breathed, and Remus and James groaned softly.
"Where're you going?" Peter asked, sitting up and slipping on his slippers.
"Nice rabbits," James scoffed, causing Peter to blush.
"Nowhere," Sirius added, crossing the floor to where the two other boys stood. "Go back to bed."
"No way," Peter whispered excitedly. "I'm coming too!"
"No, Peter!" James said, rushing down the staircase, trying to get away as fast as they could. "Go back to bed!"
"No, come on! I want to come!" Peter whined loudly, and Sirius slapped a hand over his face.
"Fine!" hissed Sirius in Peter's ear. "Just shut up!"
In the next ten minutes, the four Marauders were standing in front of a giant tapestry, staring up at it. Everyone except for Peter held their wands above their heads with the "Lumos" spell. "What should we do?" Sirius repeated.
"Leave it," Remus said, at the same time that James piped, "Knock it down!"
"What?" Remus asked incredulously. "I'm not knocking it down."
"Why not?" James asked. "Have some fun!" He grinned at Remus, and he and Sirius stepped forward and gave it a tug. After a few more, it came falling down in a hushed oomph noise.
"I can't believe this…" Remus said horrifiedly. "Defacing school property."
"Oh, put a cork in it," Sirius said, and ran a few more steps away to pull down the other one. It also came down after a few pulls. James looked down the hallway, and saw two more tapestries down the way.
"Come on," he hissed, and ran to the one at the farthest end, skipping the one in the middle. He tugged at it, and it came tumbling down, falling over his head and dragging him under. "Sirius," he rasped from underneath the heavy velvet. "Remus!" He felt hands pull at the velvet, and James gulped in fresh air a few seconds later. He looked up to see Peter holding the tapestry. "Thanks guys," James said sarcastically, "I could have suffocated—"
But James fell silent, and Sirius and Remus were looking at it with smiles on their lips. Sirius's mouth was actually opened.
"Damn," Sirius whispered again, and James came to stand next to them, looking down the secret passageway hidden behind the tapestry, smiling widely.
"Come on," James said, and led them away, pointed his wand at the fallen tapestry and whispered, "Wingardium Leviosa." The tapestry floated up, and the other two boys with wands helped James refashion it onto the hooks near the ceiling. James pulled back the tapestry and vanished behind it, Sirius, Remus, and Peter close behind him.
The passageway was dark once the tapestry closed, and Remus hissed, "Lumos!" casting light onto their faces.
"How awesome is this?" James asked, high-fiving Sirius.
"Way awesome," Sirius breathed. Remus grinned in the dim light.
"Let's see where this leads," James suggested, and the four set off, Peter with a little whimper. "Don't be a baby," James shot at him.
"I'm not," Peter replied, his voice quivering.
Sirius laughed, and James saw him dodge out of the beam of light coming from Remus's wand. Sirius himself whispered, "Nox," and his own light vanished.
"Hey!" cried Peter.
James couldn't see Sirius anymore, and when a throaty voice suddenly went "HEY!" and grabbed Peter's shoulder from behind, James and Remus jumped, while Peter let out a howl.
"Shut up!" came the voice from behind Peter, and James heard that it was Sirius. James and Remus and Sirius began to laugh. They were nearing the end of the passageway when they heard a muffled voice coming from the other side of the curtain.
"Thank you so much," they heard a girl's voice say.
"Of course, miss," another higher, squeakier voice piped.
"Sev'll be so glad you helped me." James frowned, and turned to see the grim, dim faces of Remus and Sirius, too. James sighed. Lily Evans, walking alone, just to bring that Snape kid something.
Would that Lily would bring James something as well. As long as it wasn't a Dungbomb or something. Which he highly doubted, because Lily Evans was too nice of a girl to be bringing a Dungbomb to her best friend, who (unfortunately) happened to be one Severus Snape.
James pulled back the curtain and sidled out into the dark passageway, still listening to Lily. A strong beam of light was coming from—wait, James thought. Why is there a beam of light and voices coming from behind that painting?
Because it actually wasn't a painting. James watched as tiny little elves just like Viggy handed Lily a tiny wrapped package and bottle of some sorts and let her walk right out of the painting, which was of a giant bowl of fruit. All four of the Marauders' mouths fell open as Lily put one foot on the floor, the elves vanished back into the expanse behind the painting, and the large door morphing back into a giant pear.
Lily handled the package carefully, cradling it like a baby in her arms. She smiled at the lump of what James assumed to be bread.
"Hey." James stepped out from the darkness, causing Lily to drop her bread.
"Oh my—!" she exclaimed, see James standing there, and then bending down to pick up her package. "What are you—?" she started, but almost dropped the bread again when she saw the other three Marauders, who had stepped out to join James as soon as she had averted her eyes. "Oh," she said, a-lot-less-than-enthusiastically, much to James's dismay. "Hullo."
"Hi!" Peter piped up, but Sirius slapped a hand over his mouth again.
"How'd you find that door?" James asked.
"Stop hurting him!" Lily exclaimed to Sirius, whose gag was making Peter turn steadily blue.
"How'd you find it?" James repeated.
"Find what—Oh, stop!" Lily shouted, and Sirius let go of Peter.
"Lily, you're going to get us all in trouble," Remus said in a hushed voice. "Stop yelling."
"Then tell Black to stop hurting him!"
"What, Lily?" Sirius asked. "I thought housemates were supposed to call each other by their first names. Or do you really hate me that much?"
"I don't hate you," Lily said a little guiltily, although her tone suggested otherwise.
"Ah, I see. Then it's Snape who's poisoning your mind, is it?"
"You shut up about him."
"Then tell us how you found that secret room behind the picture." Sirius smiled a pert smile at Lily, who sighed heavily.
"It's not a secret room," she said, with a hint of know-it-all. "It's the kitchens. And it's none of your business how I found it."
"Come on, please tell us," James pressed.
"Just tickle the pear," Lily said huffily, and tried to move past the boys. They wouldn't let her. "Let me move, please."
"Where're you going?" Sirius asked, always the bully. It was only the second week of school and already he had wedgied six Hufflepuffs, stuffed the heads of two Ravenclaws down the toilet, and he and James together looked up and practiced three different hexes and were about to try them on Snape the next time they saw him. There was one where his toenails would keep growing until they either curled up and became ingrown or burst out of his shoes, and James couldn't decide which one he wanted to happened more.
"None of your business," was Lily's reply. She shoved past them, and kept walking. James hurried after her, catching up. He was about to say something about how pretty she looked, but she cut him off. "Please leave me alone."
"Why?"
"Because."
But James didn't turn back. He wasn't really sure where the others were, but he didn't really care. "I think you look nice."
"I just got out of bed!" Lily sounded insulted. James took a good look at her. Sure, her pretty red hair was sticking out at odd angles and he could see dark circles under her eyes when they passed a window, but he still thought she was the prettiest girl he'd ever met.
"I think you look nice anyway," James said, and saw tears welling up in Lily's eyes. "I'm sorry, I—"
"Please, just go away!" Lily cried. "I'm trying to give Sev a snack and you have to stalk me!"
"I'm not stalking you!" James cried, and his yell echoed off the wall.
"Shut it, mate!" called Sirius from down the hall.
"James, please just go away!" Lily and James burst out of the hallway, Lily now running and James trying to catch up with her. James saw the moving staircases in front of him, and was about to yell to Lily to watch out, when he rammed into her. Lily was teetering on the edge of the landing, because the staircase at that moment had decided to move. James's force knocked her over the edge.
"Aah!" Lily screamed, her arms flying wildly as she dropped over the edge. James grabbed for her, clasped her hand, and found himself being carried over the edge by her weight. His feet slipped over and he fell, but he grabbed crazily and found a hold on the floor he had just been standing on.
The sound of breaking glass reached his ears as Lily's bottle and bread fell out of her hands and smashed against a staircase several flights below. James could hear Lily's whimpers.
"James!" Remus and Sirius cried in unison, and James heard another voice call out Lily's name.
"Lily!" cried Snape from across the stairwell, and James looked down to see him staring wide-eyed in horror at Lily.
"Sev, please!" Lily whimpered. James heard a crunching sound over to the side of him as Lily's hand began to get sweaty. He looked to his left to see another staircase moving straight towards them, looking to match up with the floor that James was now holding onto.
Lily saw it, too. "Sev, please!" she shrieked, her voice shrill.
A cackling laugh sounded from down the hallway that the Marauders and Lily had just come from. "Peeves, go away!" Peter whispered, and James felt his heart sink.
"What's this?" the poltergeist cackled, zooming down and floating in front of James's face. "Potty Wee Potter and Lily Pad hanging around?"
"Peeves," James struggled to say, still trying to hold onto to Lily's hand. She was shaking from sobs, and the staircase was coming nearer. "Go get a teacher, Peeves. A teacher!"
"Don't think so, Potty," Peeves cackled, and began to sing.
"Potty Wee Potter and Lily Pad, too,
Hanging out, swinging, but their faces are blue
Uh-oh I hear that staircase coming nearer
Potty will choose whose life is dearer.
Save the girl or save his own skin
But Peeves would toss them both in the rubbish bin."
"Peeves, please!" James shouted.
"Severus, help!" Lily cried through her tears, and Snape scrambled onto a staircase only a floor below Lily.
"Let go, Lily!" he cried, holding down his hands out. She shook her head frightenedly. "Do it!"
"Listen to him!" James cried, and let go of Lily's hand just as Snape was directly below the girl.
Lily screamed bloody murder as she fell, landing somewhat accurately into Snape's arms but crashing to the floor all the same. James felt hands scramble at his own and he was pulled to safety just as the staircase closed in, only a corner of his robes getting caught. He ripped it free, and ran down the staircase as Snape was pulling Lily off of theirs.
"Are you all right?" James asked, but was blocked from Lily as Snape stepped in front of him.
"Get away," he said darkly, his greasy hair falling over his eyes.
"Just let me talk—"
"The only one you will be talking to, James Potter," came the harsh, strict voice of Professor McGonagall, "is the headmaster." James turned to see the Head of Gryffindor house standing rigidly next to Peter at the top of the staircase, Peeves the Poltergeist floating serenely next to her, as if nothing had happened.
James sighed, and Sirius cursed again. Lily started crying a bit more, and James made to go help her up, but Snape got there first.
"All of you will be reporting to the headmaster," McGonagall continued, shooting glaring looks at Peter, who cringed, Lily, who burst into fresh tears, Snape, who scowled, and James, who held out his hands as if to say, It wasn't my fault!
McGonagall's face was grim. "Your heads of house will attend the meeting as well, which means myself and Professor Slughorn. I am ashamed in all of you. It is only the second week of school, and already I have four of you in detention and two more joining them to sneak out at night. Five points away from Slytherin and Gryffindor for each of you."
"But that's not fair!" Sirius cried. "There's only one Slytherin and five Gryffindors!"
"Life is not fair," McGonagall shot at him venomously. "Now come." The children got up, Snape pushing ahead of the Marauders, supporting a tearful Lily on his shoulder. James scowled and followed them up the staircase.
Peeves was still floating with a smile by the end of the staircase. James passed by him last, and stopped in front of him. "Thanks," James whispered so McGonagall wouldn't hear him.
Peeves smiled again. And then blew a giant raspberry in James's face. James silently thanked God that he couldn't feel the poltergeist's spit.
"Potter!" McGonagall barked, and James hurried to catch up with the rest of the group, who, from behind, resembling a group of such motley appearances that James, despite his predicament, couldn't help but smile.