"Are you sure about this?" I asked.
"Yes, I'm sure." Katie said, as she put her bag in the trunk of the car. She faced me. "Really, I'm sure. I wanna do this." she said with a reassuring smile.
"Well, good. Now be a good girl and put my bag in the car." I joked.
Katie giggled. "Yes ma'am." she said as she took the bag from my hands and placed it in the trunk. She then looked back up at me. "Anything else?"
"Yes." I said. "Don't kill me when you drive this thing."
"Now why would I ever do that?" she said giggling. "This car is brand new. It would be a shame to wreck it."
"This car is not brand new." I corrected her smiling. "You just bought it a month ago, but it's two years old."
"Well, it's still better than that thing you own. You call that a car?" she teased.
"Yes, I call that a car." I defended it.
"No offence Jess, but it's a tin can on wheels." she giggled.
"Hmph, well, it has a nice colour." I tried to come up with a great defence, but failed miserably.
Katie chuckled. I couldn't really argue with her point, because the truth was, my car was a tin can on wheels. For the short distances I could still use it, but I had had some problems with it in the past few months. Driving all the way back home again was something I wasn't sure he'd survive. For Katie this was the perfect opportunity to try out her car for its first long distance trip, so we agreed we would take hers.
"That was all the stuff right?" Katie asked.
I nodded in response and Katie closed the trunk. "Let's go then." she said cheerfully.
Not much later we were on the freeway, and everything was going as planned. After two hours we took a pit stop and switched seats.
Three hours and one stop later I gave Katie, who was driving, directions to my mom's house.
"We're almost there." I said.
"Good, cause I wanna stretch my legs." Katie said.
I looked at her and tried to search for any signs of nervousness. I mean, it's not every day you're going to meet the mother of your girlfriend. What I saw on her face wasn't really nervousness but more like, a healthy dose of excitement.
"Are you nervous?" I asked.
She turned her head and looked at me. "No, not really." she said. "Maybe a little bit, but I'll be ok." She looked at the road again.
I studied her face and took in her features. Of course I had seen them plenty of times but every time I looked, I saw her beauty again. Her eyes, always bright, and a self-assured look on her face, but not over done. She was a girl that was ready to face anything she had to, and deal with it on the spot. Still I also saw vulnerability, and I wondered how many more people got to see that side of her. I didn't think there were that many. I had noticed she was a little different when we were with other people around. She was always cheerful, always trying to make other people have a good time. When we were together she was still like that, but there was something else. She opened up to me. She showed me the side of her that wasn't so certain about everything. She was self-conscious about stuff, about herself, even about her looks. She wasn't at all convinced she was the beautiful, amazing girl that I saw. I felt privileged to know the side of Katie that she didn't show to anyone else. I felt lucky, that I was the one to see her. The vulnerable Katie was nervous, but she would just go in and face the firing squad. This squad being my mom. I was a little nervous myself, but somehow I knew things would work out.
I smiled. "Yeah, you will be."
Katie turned her head again and gave me a warm smile.
I smiled back at her and then turned my head back on the road.
"Turn left here." I said, and Katie rounded the corner. "It's that house, right over there." I pointed. Katie looked at it shortly before parking the car.
"Let's meet the mom." she said.
"First this." I said, as I leaned in and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. We smiled at each other and then got out of the car. As Katie opened the trunk she looked up at the house.
"Nice place." she said.
"It's what I call home." I said smiling.
The front door suddenly opened. "Jessie, you're here." I heard a voice and a moment later the owner of the voice appeared through the door.
"Hey mom." I said smiling, as my mother walked up to the car and pulled me into a huge hug.
She held on to me for a good few moments before she finally let me breathe again.
"How are you honey?" she asked warmly.
"I'm good." I said. I turned to Katie, who was standing a few feet away, watching us greet.
"Mom," I started, "I want you to meet somebody." Mom turned towards Katie.
"Katie, this is my mom, mom, this is Katie." I introduced them and watched them both closely for their reaction.
Katie extended her hand. "Nice to meet you, Miss Sammler." she said with a smile.
Mom took Katie's hand and shook it. "Nice to meet you too Katie." she said.
I noticed my mother wasn't being her normal self. She certainly wasn't unfriendly, but she was, how shall I call it, careful.
"How was your trip?" she asked the both of us.
"It was alright." I said. "Although five hours of endless road can sorta tire you out."
Mom smiled. "I'm sure it was." She took one of the bags out of the trunk. "Let's go inside, we can get you settled for the night, and we can catch up over a hot cup of chocolate."
"Sounds like a plan." I said and picked up another bag.
Katie picked one up too, and flung it over her shoulder. My mom started walking towards the house. Katie closed the trunk and started following her. When she passed me I took her hand for a second and gave it a small squeeze. She looked at me and gave me a smile, telling me she was okay and we both followed my mother into the house.
When we got in I saw one of the bags in the hallway and I heard my mom's voice coming from the kitchen.
"Why don't you just drop the bags there for now, we can just sit down and catch up." she said.
Then suddenly her head appeared from the kitchen. "Unless you want to get everything settled first upstairs?"
I looked over at Katie questioningly.
She looked from me to my mom. "No, that's ok, hot chocolate seems like an excellent idea." she said as she put her bag on the floor.
"Go sit in the living room, I'll be right there." Mom said.
"Do you need a hand?" I asked.
"No, that's ok. You two sit down. You drove a long way. I'll be right out." Mom disappeared into the kitchen.
I motioned for Katie to follow me into the living room, and we both sat down on the couch.
I let out a deep sigh, both from the excitement from Katie meeting my mom for the first time, but also finally arriving after a long drive and being home again.
"Glad to be home again?" Katie asked.
I turned to her. "Yeah, I am. It's been a while." I looked at Katie, who also seemed to be glad she finally arrived, but I wanted to know if she was comfortable.
"Are you ok?" I asked.
She nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine." she said. "Really, I am."
Mom appeared suddenly from the kitchen with a tray, holding a couple of mugs. She handed one over to both of us, and then sat down with her own.
She looked at me warmly. "It's good to have you back, Jessie."
"Well, it's good to be back." I answered. I meant it too.
"So." Mom started. "How was the drive?"
"It was good." I said. "We had a few stops and got a cup of coffee at Starbucks to wake us up."
"Well, good. I don't want you driving when you're sleepy." she said. "That's not a good idea."
"I agree." Katie said.
"So Katie, that's your car?" Mom asked.
"Ehm, yeah, it is." Katie answered. "It's actually the first long trip I took it on."
"Really?" Mom said. "You haven't had it that long?"
"Bought it a month ago actually." Katie said, not without some pride. I chuckled.
Katie looked at me questioningly. "What?" she wondered.
I grinned. "Nothing. Just you being all happy with your car." I smiled at her.
"Well, yes I am. I worked for that car, now it's mine." Katie said.
We all smiled. We spent about an hour chatting about the drive, school and other stuff. Also about dad and Eli and his girlfriend. It was a weird chat, as I couldn't really read my mom. At times she was totally relaxed and being cheerful, but other times I felt a distance. As if something was holding her back. Especially when she was talking to Katie. She wasn't rude or anything, she was just, I don't know, being careful or something. She didn't talk openly about everything, not about herself, and certainly not about me. I don't know if Katie was noticing it, but I was. I didn't know exactly where it came from though. I mean, my mom had known for a while I liked girls, and even thought at first she had been a little weird about it, which was of course to be expected, later though, she was fine. She had told me she just needed a little time to get used to the idea of her daughter and son both bringing a girl home for Christmas. But she said she was fine with it now, and I believed her, because it was never weird for her to talk about it. So basically, the whole thing was a little confusing.
It was still in the back of my head as Katie and I walked up the stairs later, to get our things settled for the night.
As we entered my room I put my bag down on the floor and took a look around, temporarily forgetting my mother, as I suddenly felt how much I had missed it. I mean, I had a great room at the dorm, but this had been my room for so long, it just brought back a lot of memories.
Katie dropped her bag on the floor too. "This bag weighs a ton." she sighed.
I grinned as I turned around to face her. "Well, you packed like you're going away for a year."
"Yeah." she giggled. "You on the other hand, are an excellent packer. You are gonna have to teach me one day."
I grinned. "I just might." I said, as I stepped closer and softly kissed her on the lips.
"Is that gonna be included in every lesson?" she asked smiling.
"Well, no. Don't need to teach you much about the kissing. In fact, you're so good I think you should give me a little pointers." I grinned.
"I really think you are doing fine without." she said, and to emphasize her statement, she leaned in and captured my lips with hers.
I closed my eyes and enjoyed the kiss. The feeling of her lips on mine, the way her tongue played with mine, it was truly a moment to lose myself in and that's exactly what I did. Of course, that also meant I didn't hear my mom come up the stairs and enter my room.
"Oh dear, I'm so sorry." she muttered, when she saw us.
Katie and I quickly parted and we both blushed a deep shade of red.
"Mom," I mumbled, "I didn't hear you come up."
She smiled nervously. "Well, obviously." She played with a piece of paper she had in her hand.
"What's that?" I asked, pointing to the piece of paper, and desperately trying to change the subject.
She looked down at it, almost just realizing she had it in her hand. "Oh, right." She looked up at the both of us. "Its this flyer for a new restaurant and I heard it was pretty good so I wondered if you both would like the idea of going to eat there tomorrow night."
Katie and I looked at each other. We both nodded. "Sure." I said. "Sounds cool."
Mom looked at Katie. "Yeah, I would love to." Katie said.
"Well, that's a plan then." she said. "I ehm, will see you guys downstairs, I'll start dinner."
"Ok." I said.
She turned around and went down the stairs.
Katie let out a big sigh. "Well, that was awkward." she giggled nervously.
"Yeah, well, it was bound to happen one day, that she saw us kissing. Might as well get it over with." I said.
Katie gave me a look.
"But yeah, it was kinda awkward." I admitted. "She'll be ok though."
She smiled and we got the room ready for the night. About ten minutes later we went downstairs and we joined my mother in the kitchen, where we helped her with dinner. Mom seemed to have forgotten about the little incident earlier, or she repressed it, not sure which, but we had a rather relaxed chat after that, babbling about all kinds of stuff. Katie and I gave each other looks every once in a while, and I couldn't help my belly from doing a couple of flip flops. I didn't really mind that though.
When dinner was almost ready Eli dropped in. He gave me a brotherly hug and when I introduced him to Katie he just stared at her for a moment. Of course I can't have no brother of mine eyeing my girlfriend, so I pinched him back to reality. When Katie and mom weren't looking he gave me a look that told me I was an evil woman and deserved to die. Now I figured that must have had something to do with my extremely hot girlfriend and I couldn't help but grin.
We had a nice dinner too. Mom seemed to have loosened up a bit, but I could still feel some distance. I decided to give her some time and see whether she would still be like this tomorrow. If she was, I could always ask her about it later, when I was alone with her.
The rest of the evening was spent talking. Eli and Katie got to know each other a bit and to my relief, they were getting along fine. Eli left a couple hours later and I walked him to his car.
"She's nice." he said as he opened his door.
I smiled. Duh, I knew that. She was way more than that.
Eli must have caught my expression. "And she's damn hot, too."
I let out a burst of laughter. "Don't you be getting any ideas." I pushed him playfully.
He laughed. "Don't worry Jess, I got myself a fine woman already. I'm just saying, you did good." he grinned.
I was glad he liked her. I just wished that mom would have liked her too. And for now, she wasn't all that cheerful, like she was for example when Eli brought his girlfriend home for the first time. She was all giggly and there was no sign of her being uncomfortable at all. Not like I sensed with her today. My smile faded a little.
Eli saw it. "What's wrong?" he asked.
I sighed. "I don't know. I'm glad you like her, but mom seems a bit off or something. Like she's not totally ok with all this." I looked up at him. "Do you think she's not really ok with the fact that she's a girl?"
Eli stared into nothing. "I dunno, Jess." he said honestly and then turned to me. "And yeah, I know what you mean, I sensed it, too. But think of it this way. It's the first time she actually meets one of your girlfriends. Before you never took them home, you only talked about them and now she is face to face with one. That's pretty something for her. Just give her time, I'm sure she'll get over it." he said reassuringly.
"Hope you're right." I said.
"I know I am, just give it time."
I smiled at him. What he said did make sense.
"Thanks." I said as I gave him a hug.
He grinned and he got in his car. "Bye, I'll see you soon." he said as he drove away.
"Bye." I called out as I waved him off.
I turned around and walked back into the house. I found my mom sitting in the living room.
When she saw me she got up. "Honey, I'm going to bed." she said.
"Ok." I answered. "Katie and I will be going too."
Mom nodded.
"Where is Katie?" I wondered.
"She's in the toilet." Mom answered.
At that moment Katie appeared in the living room.
"Mom is going to bed." I said.
"Yes, she told me, when you were outside with Eli." She suppressed a yawn. "I could use some sleep myself."
"Yeah, it's been a long day for the both of you." Mom said. She gave me a kiss on the cheek.
"Goodnight" she said to the both of us.
"Goodnight." Katie said as my mom started walking towards the stairs.
"Yeah, sleep well mom." I called after her.
Katie and I looked at each other and decided to go upstairs too. We both brushed our teeth, changed clothes and snuggled up to each other in my bed.
"So what do you think?" Katie asked
"Hmm?" I mumbled.
"How do you think it went?" she said.
"Ok, I guess." I answered. "Eli likes you."
"Yeah, he's ok." she said. "What about your mom?" she added a little hesitantly.
"I dunno." I said honestly. "She's being a little distant, I guess. Not like her normal self."
Katie was silent for a minute. "I sorta sensed that." she said. "Dunno what it was, but somewhere I felt she was being careful or something."
I nodded in Katie's shoulder. "Yeah, I know." I looked up at Katie. "She'll be alright, I think. I mean, it's the first time she met a girlfriend of mine. It was bound to be a little weird right? And she was nice and all. She wouldn't be nice to you if she didn't like you, right?"
"I guess." she said.
"Maybe it's just the girl-thing. I mean, that would be sorta understandable. Besides, it's just impossible for her not to like you." I told her.
"Oh, is it?" Katie asked, and I could feel a smile coming on her face.
"Definitely." I told her.
I moved my fingers slowly up her cheek. "Let's just give it some time. She'll be ok." I said softly.
"Ok." she said. She slowly leaned in and kissed me gently. When she pulled back she stared dreamily at me.
"Goodnight sweety." she said.
"Goodnight." I answered and we cuddled up into each other's arms. We fell asleep quite fast. It had been a long day after all.
**********
When I opened my eyes the next morning I found it very difficult to stretch my legs. My fuzzy mind needed a moment to wake up and when it finally did, I found the reason for my inability to move. Our legs were so tangled up they sort of formed a giant pretzel. I couldn't help but giggle at this and Katie woke up.
Half an hour of snuggling later we got out of bed, got cleaned up and made our way downstairs. Mom was sitting in the kitchen reading the paper.
"Morning girls." she said rather cheerfully.
"Good morning." Katie answered.
"Morning mom." I said as I gave my mom a kiss on her cheek.
"So what do you want to do today?" Mom asked.
"Dunno." I muttered. "Hey, Eli's birthday is coming up right?" I added as I suddenly had an idea.
My mother nodded. "Yeah, it is. Do you wanna go shop for a present?"
I looked over at Katie. "Shopping is fine." she said.
"Last year I was so late with buying him something, I waited till the day before. Don't want that to happen now." I smiled.
"Well, let's hit the shops." Mom said as she got up.
We all got in the car and drove to the mall. There we went in and out of a few stores but found nothing. Suddenly my eye spotted a toy store. Now I knew I wasn't really going to find anything there but I dragged my mother and Katie in anyway, just `cause I like snooping around in toy stores. Don't ask me why ok, I just do.
We had fun in the shop, especially when Katie found this weird looking purple hat and she put it on her head immediately. It looked absolutely ridiculous and I laughed my ass off. Mom found it funny too, because she too was giggling. Katie suddenly had a grin on her face and in no time she had taken off the hat and placed it on my head. Great, now I'm the one looking ridiculous. That was not in my plan.
Katie looked at me and she had this adorable smile on her face when she looked at my funny appearance. I smiled shyly and took off the hat. As I placed it back where Katie got it I looked at my mother. She was looking at Katie, who was still staring at me and somewhere in my mother's look there was something soft. Something I hadn't seen in her eyes yet. Suddenly mom looked at me, as if she sensed I was watching her. She gave me a very subtle smile and turned her head away. I would have missed the smile if I wasn't paying attention but I was pretty sure I had seen it. It somehow made me feel better.
The rest of the day went by pretty fast. We had a good time and we had pancakes for lunch. We hit a few more shops after that but unfortunately, I couldn't find anything for my brother. I decided it was gonna have to wait till next time. We headed home and spent the rest of the day having a generally good time. When it was dinner time, we headed off to the restaurant my mom had told us about the day before.
We had a comfortable chat about stuff, when my mom suddenly became a little quiet.
"You know," she said, "I think I need to tell you something." she said, looking up at the both of us.
"What is it mom?" I asked.
Katie looked at my mom questioningly.
"I think you have noticed I have been acting kind of distant." she continued. "And I think I need to tell you why."
"I think I know, mom." I said softly.
"No." she said. "I don't think you do. And even if you did, then I still want to say it."
I looked at her expectantly and waited for her to go on. So did Katie.
"First of all, I think this was kind of a weird situation for all of us. And that was to be expected, I guess."
Katie and I both nodded.
"Is it because Katie is a girl?" I asked.
My mom looked up, sort of surprised. "No, it's not because Katie is a girl." she said. "It's not about Katie at all, really."
Katie and I both looked up surprised.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"It's because of you, Jessie." she said.
I frowned. "Me? Why? What did I do?" Ok, this I did not expect.
"You grew up." Mom said simply.
"Huh?" I muttered stupidly.
"I know that must sound kind of weird, but it's like this." she said, noticing our strange looks. "It was not too long ago that you were just a little girl, my little girl, and you were so sweet and innocent. Of course I knew that one day you would find someone and I would have to let go of you. I found that very hard to cope with at first, but I knew I didn't have much choice in the matter so I accepted it. When you told me you liked girls, I admit, I didn't see that coming, and I needed some time to get used to it, but after a while I realized it didn't matter, because if you were happy, then I was happy." She looked at both Katie and me.
"I'm very ok with the fact that you like girls. Honestly." she said sincerely, looking at both Katie and me.
I felt a feeling of relief, but I was also confused. "Then what is it?" I wondered.
She sighed "It's the letting go that I had trouble with. You had girlfriends before, but you never took them home, I never met them, so it was never really serious, they never lasted that long. When you called me this week, telling me you were going to bring a girl home, I was happy for you, but at the same time, it stung a little. I realised you were really growing up, and that moment of letting go, that I had been able to postpone for so long, it was here, it was coming." She sighed again. "And I guess I wasn't as prepared as I thought I was."
"Oh, mom." I said softly.
Mom gave me a faint smile. "That's not all." she said.
"Jessie, I will never totally let you go. I don't want that, and I'm pretty sure you don't want that either. You will always be my little girl, and I will always be there for you, and protect you with all I have. When you told me about Katie on the phone, I could tell that you really cared about her."
I looked at Katie, who gave me a smile.
"Well, if there's love in the picture, there can be pain. And that's what I was afraid of, that you would get hurt. With Eli it's different. Of course I don't want him to get hurt either, but he's a guy. It's so much more difficult to let go of a daughter. Don't' ask me why, it just is. Maybe one day you will understand." She looked at me, then at Katie. "Jessie will always be my little girl, and I will do anything to protect her from ever getting hurt."
Katie looked in my mother's eyes. "I would never do anything to hurt Jessie." she said firmly, but kind. Now it was my turn to give Katie a smile.
Mom nodded. "I know. I know that now. I just didn't know it yesterday, and this morning. All I knew was that my daughter was in love, and I know there are a lot of people out there who pretend they are somebody they're not. I wanted to know everything about the person Jessie was in love with. I wanted to know how you felt, see it in your eyes."
She blinked her eyes. I could tell she was very emotional.
"Katie, I saw it. I kept my distance at first, but during the time you were here I saw it. I can see it in your eyes when you look at Jessie, I can see that you really care about her, that you wouldn't hurt her. And I can also see why Jessie fell for you in the first place."
I looked at Katie. She was giving my mom a grateful smile.
"I think I might owe you an apology. For the way I acted. I know I have been distant." she said. She turned to me. "And you too, Jessie."
"Miss Sammler, you really don't." Katie said. "I can totally understand what you mean. You really don't owe me anything"
I nodded in agreement. "Yeah mom, she's right. You don't."
Mom smiled. "Maybe not. But I still want to say I'm sorry. Katie, believe me, if it had been any guy, or any girl, anybody else, I would have done the same. It has nothing to do with you and certainly not with the fact that you're a girl. I think you are a wonderful person, I really do, and you are very welcome in my house."
Katie was looking at my mother, and I could see this was emotional for her too. "Thank you." she whispered sincerely.
I looked at them both. The girl I loved, and my mom, the mother I loved more than anything. I had been afraid my mom had had a problem with me liking girls, but instead, she was just worried, just looking out for me. And that was something that I could understand. I realized how important this was for me and how much it had weighed on me. I was so glad things had worked out.
I looked at my mom gratefully. "Yes, thank you mom." Mom gave us both a smile, and she wasn't holding back this time. She flashed a smile on us that told us she had meant every word she had said.
The rest of the evening was spent in a very relaxed way. I think we all felt something had disappeared. When we went home after dinner mom told us she was going to bed and wished us a goodnight.
I gave my mom a hug. "Goodnight mom."
Mom looked at Katie and then suddenly stepped up to her and pulled her into a hug too. "Goodnight Katie." she said.
"Goodnight Miss Sammler." Katie replied, pleasantly surprised.
Mom let go of Katie. "Please, call me Karen." she said with a smile.
"Well, goodnight Karen, then." Katie said and we all chuckled.
Mom walked up the stairs and disappeared into her room. Katie and I walked up the stairs too, and also got ready for bed, as it was getting pretty late already.
When we were changed and laying in bed, we looked at each other and I couldn't stop a huge smile from appearing on my face.
Katie smiled back at me. "Well," she said. "that was pretty something."
"Yeah." I agreed. "I'm so glad everything worked out." I grinned. "Told you she would love you."
Katie laughed. "Ha, you were scared as hell."
"Well, maybe I was. But it's all good now." I said happily.
I leaned in and kissed Katie on the lips. Katie wasted no time in kissing me back and we were soon caught up in a passionate kiss that took both our breaths away. I felt her hands on my back and one of them was travelling towards my belly, which immediately responded by doing a somersault.
As the kiss became more intense I felt like all my thoughts were escaping my brain, but at the same time, it was filled with a million of them. That I was so happy with what my mom had said today, that she thought Katie was a wonderful girl and only acted the way she did because she was worried about me, not because she didn't like the idea of me having a girlfriend. I was happy because I was home, happy because I was back in my old and comforting room again, I was happy because Eli got along with Katie, I was happy because Katie was in love with me, that she was in my arms, kissing me passionately, happy because her hands were all over my body. I was happy with me, I was happy with everything.
I broke off the kiss and looked Katie straight in the eyes.
Her lips were swollen, eyes filled with passion and desire, and as I looked in them, all my thoughts disappeared. Just one remained.
"I love you." I whispered,
Katie looked at me with all the love that she had. "I love you too." she said softly.
We gazed into each other's eyes adoringly. God, how much I loved this girl, I never thought anyone was capable of loving like this. But I was feeling it, she was feeling it. There was nothing in this world right now that I wanted more than her, I wanted her hands all over my body, I wanted to feel her close to me, feel her lips on me, I wanted to feel her, explore every part of her skin with my hands and my lips, I wanted to feel her inside me, I wanted to be inside her. I wanted her, and I wanted her now.
"Katie?" I spoke softly, my voice trembling.
I'm not even sure it was a question. It didn't matter what it was. Katie knew what I meant, as she looked into my eyes for a moment, and then leaned in and burned my lips with hers.