Hey people…sorry for the long wait for update, but college life is killing me...This chapter mainly focuses on Ryoma, and there ain't much romance in here, so please bare with it for the while…there will be more later on! =D

And I would like to thank people who have reviewed/read this fic or my other PoT fictions, especially my latest one: The shy, the protective, and the unpredictable. It's very encouraging to see you guys like my work, and I'll try to improve on my fics too. Thanks for pointing out my mistakes, and I really don't mind if you see any more. Constructive criticism is what makes us fanfiction writers improve.

Summary: Was this love? Actually he had no idea what love meant…with her, he could put that all aside and be Echizen Ryoma, for once and for all.

Disclaimer: Ryoma is so cute.

Chapter 3: To be or not to be

With his six years of experience in tennis, Horio could tell something was wrong with Echizen Ryoma, the Seigaku High star tennis player.

It didn't take a genius to notice the green-haired boy carried a dark aura around him anywhere he went. No one dared to question him. Even his fangirls sensed it and avoided him (for now). The teachers just ignored him as usual, as they knew this guy would sleep through lessons and get top scores anyway.

Ryoma glanced at a seat adjacent to his in the front. Still no Sakuno. His fists tightened in anger. He still could not believe what happened yesterday, when she suddenly decided to end their secret relationship, and no matter how many times he called her at night she would not pick up the phone.

-Flashback-

'Ryuzaki-sensei, I really need to talk to her.' He pointed out sternly. Nobody said no to Echizen Ryoma.

He could hear a deep sigh in the other end of the phone. 'Ryoma, I don't know what happened between the two of you,' she paused, 'but Sakuno told me firmly that she did not want to talk to anyone. She really is feeling sick. Please leave her alone.'

-End of Flashback-

Sick? Walking with another guy in the snow while being sick? That was the most illogical thing he had heard recently. Who was that guy anyway? Nobody ever explained to him. Well, not that others could, since they were secretly dating, but Ryoma felt, for the first time in his life, defeated. Heck, that guy even entered her house! Images of Sakuno and the unknown mysterious secret boyfriend of her making out, alone, in the big house she lived in made Ryoma feel nauseated. Out of all the things he could afford to lose, he lost his girlfriend to some anonymous teenage boy.

He paid no attention to the teachers' scolding of Horio for not being attentive. All he cared now was a twin-braided girl who made his life so miserable in a blink.

Sakuno sighed for the umpteenth time.

'When will you stop making that sound?'

She turned to look at the blond who leaned on her bedroom's door. He was holding a magazine in his hand, which Sakuno easily spotted as the Monthly Tennis, the magazine she had subscribed ever since junior high. She was in good terms with the two reporters, Inoue and Shiba, who followed Seigaku's, especially Ryoma's, progress ever since the prodigy set his foot in Japan. With Ryoma starting to compete in different tournaments around the world, they were more than thrilled to give Sakuno free copy of their work, sometimes with big poster of Echizen Ryoma playing (which she hanged proudly in her room).

She just ignored his glance and did not reply.

'Fine.' He moved towards her bed and sat beside her lying body. 'Don't forget that you have to go back to the hospital in an hour though. I'll be driving.'

She murmured a soft 'yes' before rolling on her bed again.

This time, it was the guy's turn to sigh. 'Self-sacrificing one's fortune is not always the best solution, my dear cousin.' Takeru gave the girl once last glance before closing the door behind him, giving her some private space.

No, she was not that noble. She just did not want to be a burden to everyone. By just revealing the news to Tomoka yesterday night, after her fight with Ryoma, already gave her a great headache. The last thing she needed now was pity.

Ryoma…Sakuno chuckled. It was like a dream for her, the anonymous girl, to have the chance to date the most wanted male of the whole school. She had become Cinderella all of a sudden. Although it was not an official one, she had never felt any happier. When she thought it was just a crush, puppy love, he proved her wrong. She still remembered the look he had, the brush on his face, when he asked her out for their first date, which ended in a kiss, a passionate, intimate one that she still treasured every much.

She moved her fingers to make contact with her lips. She still remembered Ryoma's scent clearly, especially after their very last kiss yesterday.

Fate always portrayed the joker best, she thought. It was as if arriving at the peak of Mount Everest and then was thrown mercilessly down the hill, straight to the bottom, with nobody being able to do anything to help her. After all, the pain lied inside.

She sighed, fighting for the tears not to come out. Over the years she had become mentally strong, but separation from everyone or death…was definitely another story.

'Where is Echizen again?'

The senpai-tachi were childish, but not so stupid to not have noticed their favourite kohai acting extremely weird today. Oishi, in particular, was terribly worried. Although Echizen had showed up in the morning and completed his punishment of twenty-five laps, he spoke not a single word. No 'mada mada dane' when Eiji missed a lob. No 'Hn' when the fangirls screamed his almighty name (from a safe distance, which he was satisfied indeed). No grunts when Fuji took a picture of him with his camera, which surprised even the tensai as the semi-pro player always muttered curses when Fuji flashed his favourite object in front of him.

'When he lost the U.S. Open to Tezuka, he even smirked. I think it is something other than tennis that affects him lately.' Fuji kept his usual calm smile, not giving any trace of what he's thinking. By his inborn sharp senses to people, he knew that something was going on between Ryoma and Sakuno, but he could not figure out what. They acted like the time Ryoma first entered junior high: one was extremely arrogant who pissed anyone off, and one was just adorable and clumsy. Eiji and Momo had even followed them once on their 'date', only to find them repairing tennis racquet. Fuji held his belief that Sakuno was never a great actress to hide anything, and the regulars agreed whole-heartedly.

'Nya, could Ochibi be having problems with girls?'

'It's quite unlikely.' Inui stated, flipping through his 'bible'. 'According to my data, Echizen seldom has any interactions with the opposite sex. The closest female figure is Ryuzaki-chan, but they do not seem to be dating.'

'Maybe Ochibi got jealous? Sakuno-chan is a very popular girl now in high school.' Eiji exclaimed. They were all surprised on how the clumsy granddaughter of their coach in junior high had gradually transformed into a real beauty. She still kept her trademark twin-braid, but she had developed a nice curve and her face had become more mature. Furthermore, her helpful and cheerful character made her even more popular among everyone. The regulars knew that many boys had showed interest in her, but she had turned them all down. They reckoned she still had a crush on the ignorant prince, and grieved over how dense he was. Of course, they had no idea they were wrong.

They went on discussing what caused the green-haired to have a bad mood that they did not notice the said figure had entered the tennis court, resting his racquet on his shoulder.

'Fuji-senpai, can I have a match?'

They were all startled and jumped in shock to hear his voice. Luckily for them, the fifteen-year-old did not hear what they were talking about.

'Sure.' Fuji smiled again before going to the bench and grabbed his racquet. 'Say Echizen, you don't seem to be in a good mood. Anything I can help?' he offered, which Ryoma just snorted. He knew his senpai-tachi too well to fall into the sadist's trap. Nothing good came from Fuji's offer, he was sure.

'Just play the match.'

The tensai just nodded and approached the baseline and started a rally with the emotionally troubled teenager.

Ryoma hit every ball hard. For the whole day he had immersed in his own thoughts that he felt like killing someone. Logics did not seem to make sense to him anymore. The image of a certain Ryuzaki Sakuno had haunted him for the entire morning. He basically ignored everyone who tried to stand near him today. He did not care if he bumped into some seniors or received criticisms from teachers. Nothing mattered anymore, but one.

He felt like his brain would explode at any second. Now he just wanted to relax a bit, and a tennis match was nothing but perfect. He needed distraction.

The others watched as Echizen failed in returning Fuji's triple counters for a couple of times. 'Oi Ochibi! You let your guard down!' Eiji laughed while mimicking Tezuka's catchphrase.

Ryoma just ignored him and continued hitting topspins. Damn, and he thought tennis could ease his mental illness of the moment. Every time he hit the ball, he inevitably glanced at the crowd of girls cheering, hoping to find her standing there, silently watching him as usual. When he was trying hard to concentrate in playing the game, her words floated into his mind again.

'I don't know how many times have I been worried over us when you are always surrounded by your fangirls, watching them having intimate contact with you while I could just sit back and act as if nothing has happened.'

Hell, he was never into the idea of having an affair. He was not a social animal, he admitted that, and he did not have many close female friends, except for her and that loud-mouthed Tomoka, if she was counted in. There were some in class that he was fine with (and whom did not chase him around like those annoying fangirls), but they were just friends, and heck, he never initiated any conversations! He just did not mind their presence, and they were nice enough to help when he did not understand the materials in class. What gave her the idea that he would cheat on her?

He still remembered back in junior high, before they started dating, that Sakuno had been the victim of several obsessive fans. They had locked her, alone, in a dark room for hours until he heard her weak sobbing sounds. They had even torn her uniform skirt while she was having physical education. Notes of threats became the mildest she could get, and that really put a lot of pressure on her. She would continue avoiding him for weeks had he not interfered and threatened the girls back.

'I want to be recognized sometimes, Echizen-kun, and I want someone who will always be by my side, instead of being away for weeks for some tournaments around the world.'

So, was she telling him to give up his dream? Heck, the first thing he did after every match was to call her. The first thing he did when his plane landed safely on Japan was to call her. Their conversation was still the same, mainly she did the talking part, but he gradually opened up to her, and had shown more affection already, like hugging her more or whispering 'I love you' to her ears. Even Sakuno was a bit taken aback the first time and had complimented him on that, while flushing like the reddest tomato he'd ever seen. He felt heat rising on his cheeks, and adjusted his cap slightly to hide it from his annoying senpai-tachi.

'Echizen-kun.'

Great. Now he was even no longer Ryoma-kun.

'Echizen-kun.'

Damn, that sound seemed to haunt him.

'Echizen-kun.'

He shifted his attention back to the game he was playing. What was the score again? He did not really care. He would not lose anyway.

'Game set, won by Echizen Ryoma, 6-3'.

Oh, it's over already? Ryoma had not paid much attention to the game, and had won before he realized Fuji was approaching him, still smiling.

'You are still very strong, Echizen,' Ryoma just looked at him, 'although you still seem distracted.'

Heh, Ryoma laughed mentally. He had wanted distractions, but it turned out that he had immersed himself in the thoughts of Sakuno again. Yet he did feel better after playing tennis. Thanking his senpai for the game, he walked to the locker room to change, ignoring the silent senpai-tachi who observed him with curiosity.

'Something's really wrong with Echizen,' Momoshiro said. 'Fsssh,' it was Kaidou's way of agreeing.

'Just give him some time to solve his problem,' Oishi, the captain, stated. Of course, he was also worried over his underclassman, but he knew the last thing Echizen would do was to share his feelings to other people. Not even Tezuka's glare would make him tell others how he felt.

Throwing his stuff on the floor, Ryoma landed on his bed, his eyes staring at the ceiling. He remembered he had stayed at the Ryuzakis' doorstep for a long time and arrived home late, which cost him his dinner and Nanako scolded him a little. He did not care. Last night was the first time in his life that he had cried himself into sleep.

He had never thought he could have become so messed up just because of her.

The green-haired boy recalled that rumours about him going out with Sakuno started to spread in his third year in junior high, when he became captain of the Seigaku Tennis Team. They had…well, acted like a couple sometimes. Whenever there were tennis practices or official matches, she would be there. She made him lunch, which he even complimented that they tasted good (and it took a passing-by Horio to hear that and spread it over). She was probably the only female student to be allowed around the tennis court area (once he was so pissed with the fangirls that he asked his team members to either chase them away or let them have a taste of Inui's latest invention. The choice made by the members was obvious).

And boy was he protective of her. Being the clumsy girl she had been, she was an accident magnet. Yet he had never shown more concern over her when boys started to hit on her. She had been cornered few times, with the boy leaning on trying to steal a kiss. There had been several cases like this, and all the males were reported to have injuries over their bodies the next day. While Sakuno was feeling grateful for his act, he wondered, at that time, why he cared.

For Echizen Ryoma, tennis had been everything. When he lived in America, he played tennis every day. When he returned to Japan, he played tennis every day. Yet gradually, a certain brown-haired girl had occupied a place in his mind. She bore his lack of socializing skills and gave him the support he wanted. Whenever he wanted someone to spend time with, she would be on top of the list for sure. Sometimes, he did not want to be the famed Seigaku pillar of support. He did not want to be recognized as the star player.

He just wanted to be Echizen Ryoma, and she granted him that. He could not have asked for more.

Was this love? Actually he had no idea what love meant. He just felt that…whenever they were together, he was relaxed and happy, and he could be his true self, instead of wearing a cold mask. He was never a social-friendly person. He hated to act like he cared about another's life and said things to please others. With her, he could put that all aside and be Echizen Ryoma, for once and for all.

The more he thought, the more his head and heart ached. He fought back the tears growing in his eyes and jumped off his bed. He felt like suffering from an act that he somehow did wrongly, but having no idea why he had screwed it up. He just knew one thing now.

He loved her.

Yes. He would not let someone he treasured so much walk away from his life that easily. He wanted an answer. He wanted to know everything. He hated being in the dark and knew not about what was going on. If he failed…even if he failed, he would start all over again.

Ryoma jumped out of his bed, grabbing his coat with him, and walked out of the house without changing. He needed to think. He needed to figure out things clearly. And there was no better place to go than where he could get answers.

Echizen Ryoma was a determined person. Nothing would stop him from getting what he wanted. Nothing.

-End of Chapter 3