A/N: Hey y'all! Haven't updated this in forever, but I have been thinking a lot about ideas for it! Some topics:

Emmet Terrorizes McDonalds

Emmet Terrorizes Girl Scouts

Emmet Takes Nessie to See the Loch Ness Monster

Emmet Gives Sex Ed

Emmet Watches Dora the Explorer

Emmet Talks to Playgirl

Emmet Has a Wolf Sleepover

Emmet Goes to an Amusement Park

Emmet Gets Addicted to Myspace

Emmet Pukes up in Edward's Car

Emmet's Wally-World Adventures

Emmet's Christmas Adventure: What Happens when you Call Santa a Hoe-hoe-hoe!

Emmet's Glitter-ific Adventures

Everybody excited? Good! Go onto my profile and vote for your favorite topics, and I will write those first.

First Topic to hit fifteen votes gets written!

But for now, we are going to go with the Emmet Gleaks story.

And just to tell y'all, I'm having a bad writing day. I can't seem to write anything worth a damn. But this is the only time I'll have to write this, so I kinda had to. Sorry!

-leslie grace

Emmet sat around with a bag of Cheetos. He wasn't eating them, because, well, he was a vampire. But he'd been having a TV comedy marathon all day, and some hick had talked about sitting butt-naked in a lawn chair with Cheetos. Emmet thought it sounded like fun.

Unfortunately, Emmet couldn't experience the eating or the naked part of that fantasy. Nessie had the day off from school and was far too young, in his mind, to see a guy naked. And if he ate the Cheetos, he'd have to puke them up later. But he was pretty happy about the indoor lawn chair.

The comedian shows had ended a few hours ago. Now he was watching the non-real real-life funny shows. His eyes widened with interest.

"Did you just GLEAK on me?!" The blonde teenage girl shrieked.

Her little brother giggled stupidly and some liquid shot out from in front of his front teeth, landing smack dab on her forehead. "Yup!" He shouted at her.

The girl then proceeded to run around and scream at him, trying to bash his head in, but none of this registered in Emmet's mind. He was too fascinated with this idea of 'gleaking'.

**

"Bella! Teach me how to gleak PLEASE!" Emmet shouted while jumping up and down on her bed. She cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Umm?"

"Come on please! You're the only one who can teach me! Just tell me how to do it!"

Bella giggled. She'd never gleaked before. But she did remember the lessons Jake had given Seth years and years ago.

"Okay. So.. Um. Just. Gather some spit in your mouth first." She instructed him, feeling silly.

Emmet's face twisted around. First was excitement, then confusion, then anger.

"Bella! I don't think vampires make spit!" His mouth didn't feel dry, but he couldn't seem to gather any moisture.

Bella's eyes widened as she tried and failed as well. "Wow. That's weird."

Emmet pouted. "I want to GLEAK!!" He whined. Then his eyes lit up. He ran to the bathroom. Ran the water in the sink. Put some in his mouth and dashed back in to see Bella.

"Now what?" He managed through the water. It sounded like he was gurgling. Bella laughed again.

"Just gather a little water against your front teeth, use your tongue like a bowl, press it against the bottom of your top teeth, and when your ready, lower your tongue some and then spit it as hard as you can at the same time.

Emmet's face became determined. He focused and then, with a huge grin, gleaked out a mini-tidal wave of water towards Bella's face. She ducked just in time and it splat against the wall.

"I have to teach Jasper this!"

**

Carlisle sat going over some of his patients records. He had a new one, a wealthy man from the Middle East with a blood disease he couldn't quite figure out, which was really something for a vampire doctor of standards such as Carlisle. He heard a knock at the door. He cleared his throat and called out a pleasant, "Come in!"

Esme entered with a huge grin plastered on her face. "Carlisle, you have to see what Emmet and Jasper are doing."

Carlisle gave her a questioning look.

"Just follow me."

Outside next to a tree, the family stood in a semi-circle. They watched in amazement as Jasper and Emmet had some sort of contest. As Carlisle walked closer, he realized what was going on.

There was shattered glass on the ground next to the base of a large tree, and against the tree was a pane of glass. On the ground next to the pane were other panes split into two piles: one with new glass, and the other with glass full of little holes and millions of cracks. Emmet and Jasper were spitting at the glass against the tree.

"OH YEAH!" Emmet screamed and high-fived Jasper. He had just spit at the glass, and now there was a small hole in it, but no cracks.

"What are you guys doing?" Carlisle asked incredulously.

"Well Bella taught me how to gleak and I taught Jasper and we've been trying to spit holes through the glass without cracking it all afternoon." Emmet answered simply.

"And they won't clean up all the shattered glass! What if some poor animal steps on it?" Renesmee demanded.

"Chillax small fry. Your boyfriend will survive if he steps on it." Emmet rolled his eyes at her. But she was having none of that.

Renesmee marched up to their water bottles, took a swig, and gleaked it right into Emmet's face.

The circle erupted in laughter. Emmet looked lost for a moment. Then he got a wicked grin on his face and spit at Jasper, who spit back.

In moments it was a war between Emmet, Jasper, Edward, and surprisingly, Nessie. Carlisle walked back inside with a smile.

A/N: Terrible writing and execution, but I liked the idea!