Today is Super-Update Day!! Two new chapters of this story, and two new one-shots!! Woo! Please enjoy, and get ready for some real drama.
I do not own Harry Potter, Lily Evans, James Potter, Severus Snape, the Marauders, or any part of the Harry Potterdome.
PS: Who loves the new Jonas Brothers album? I do!!
The next morning Lily awoke with the bright light of midday streaming through her window. Mary and Alice were gone from their beds, the sheets already made up by the help, and as Lily looked around, she saw that she was the only body left asleep (or awake) in the dormitory.
She sat up quickly, a throbbing sensation starting in her temple. Her eyes felt heavy as she scanned the room for her slippers, and as she held up fingers to touch her eyelids, Lily then remembered that she had cried herself to sleep. The rushing hatred of herself for doing so and the memories of the night before came shooting painfully into her body, and the tight feeling in her head transferred, but did not completely disappear, into her chest, and she found herself wishing to cry again.
Despite the bright sun outside, Lily felt that the wind had started early in the month when she stuck her hand out the window, and decided that she didn't care what she wore that day. She reached for the first sweater she could find inside her trunk, and pulled it over her head. She debated on whether or not to leave her pajama pants on, but decided it would just be looked at as sloppy. So she pulled a pair of pants out as well and struggled to pull them on.
Lily thought she heard the stone steps creak as she walked down them. The common room was empty except for a group of boys crowded around the roaring fire. Lily thought it added unnecessary heat to the room, and that the common room would have been fine without the fire. She was about to call out to the boys, who were all whispering to each other. The tallest one resembled Simon Finch, her partner in Charms class, but her hello came out only halfway—it was more of a "Heh—!" than a greeting. She bit the rest of it back in hatred as she saw that the group was, in fact, not Simon Finch but stupid James Potter and his cronies.
James turned at the sound of her voice, the look of hopefulness on his face freezing Lily in mid-step. Her look of glee to see Simon flicked immediately to a look of intense revulsion, but she felt as if she was being looked at under a microscope as Black's, Remus's, and Peter's faces all flickered to her. She could see the corner of stack of papers the boys were crowded around from underneath James's arm, and the tip of the quill Remus held in his hand quivered slightly. Black just looked amused.
She let out an "Ugh!" and turned quickly away. Lily heard James shout out her name and get up to follow her out of the common room, but she made it a point to slam the portrait in his face, much to the chagrin of the Fat Lady.
"Excuse me, missy!" the Fat Lady called, but Lily continued on, angrily. "You'll be paying Galleons for the damage you just caused to my frame!" The voice of the Fat Lady followed Lily down the hall, but Lily didn't care just how many gold coins she would have to give Dumbledore. All she was concerned about was putting as many steps between her and that idiot James Potter as she possibly could.
James's shoulders slumped as the portrait snapped loudly shut in front of his nose. He stood looking at the blank wooden backside of the painting, hearing the guardian of the Gryffindor common room yelling at someone through the walls.
"Come on, mate." James could hear Sirius's voice ever-so-faintly somewhere in the distance.
James nodded, more to himself than to his friends, and returned to where they were sitting. The heat of the fire was uncomfortable, and he thought the common room would be fine without the fire. But it didn't make him feel as miserable as Lily did.
"Listen," Remus continued, obviously trying to distract James from Lily. He was doing a good job of it, too, unlike Peter, who proceeded to stare at James like an animal in the zoo. "I don't see the point of this."
"There could be more, Remus!" Sirius shouted.
"And what the hell are we going to do with them when—excuse me, if—we find them?"
"I dunno," Sirius said. "They'd be great for shortcuts."
"And skipping class!" Peter piped up with a hopeful glance at James, as if he wanted to prove to his idol just how badass he could be.
Sirius let out a snort and James didn't respond. "Yeah, skipping class, too." Sirius smirked at James, like they were sharing an inside joke. Peter's face reddened. He hated when Sirius and James shared those intimate moments—but he was rewarded happily when he saw James return the smile only halfheartedly.
James looked down at the stack of parchment Remus had in front of him—he didn't remember why they had a stack, there was only one thing to write down. The location of the secret passageway they had found the night before was scribbled at the top of the page, but the words swam before his eyes as he thought of Lily. James wasn't entirely aware of the words, "It'd be a good place to bring a girl," leave his mouth.
Sirius let out a triumphant, "Aha!", slapping James on the back. Peter's face reddened even more, and Remus exhaled a snobby and exasperated, "Honestly, James!"
"A snogging niche!" Sirius cried.
"Secret passageways are not for snogging!" Remus said, his voice raised.
"And how would you know?" Sirius asked with a raised eyebrow. James slowly tuned out the following argument. "I bet you anything that Gryffindor and Ravenclaw got in on in a secret passageway!" Sirius let out a cackle of laughter, and Peter proceeded to laugh halfheartedly. He so wanted to fit into the group, but he wasn't exactly sure what getting in on meant….
"You are so immature!" Remus cried, waking James out of his reverie.
"I'm as old as you are, stupid!" Sirius cried, and James had to admit that his response did seem a bit juvenile.
"Yeah, so what?" Remus yelled, knocking over the closed bottle he had brought with him from breakfast that morning.
"Loosen up, mate," Sirius replied, a bit quieter this time. He cast his eyes over to James, who sat almost as nervously as Peter did.
"Yeah, well why don't you piss off?" Remus said, an unknown temper flaring, and he, too, stormed out of the common room.
The remaining three stared for a few moments after the boy, their pale friend who always looked so sickly. He was starting to look even more sickly now, much more than the previous week and much, much more than the time James had seen him in Magical Menagerie.
"What's his problem?" Sirius asked no one in particular, ignoring the whispered, "I dunno" and shrug of the shoulders from Peter. "Aha," Sirius said in an understanding tone, and James watched him reach across the stack of parchment and grab Remus's bottle. Sirius opened the bottle and took a sniff, feigning disgust at whatever he smelled. "He's drunk!"
James knew this last comment was a jest, seeing as when he took the bottle from Sirius, he could smell nothing. But Peter's face perked up suddenly. Not exactly in a happy way, but there was an interested note in Peter's voice as he asked, "It's alcohol?"
"Shut up, Peter," was Sirius's reply, but Peter wouldn't be quieted so easily. This was his chance. If Sirius and James saw him take a swig from Remus's alcohol, that was certainly a badass enough of a move to make the two friends accept him more.
"You sure?" Peter said, leaning forward to reach for the bottle, but Sirius silenced him with another "shut up."
"Come on," Sirius said, grabbing the bottle from James and placing it on the floor. He stood up and motioned for James to do the same. "Let's go get some lunch." The invite was obviously directed just as James, but not too obvious for Peter to think he was invited, too.
James stood up and made for the staircase so he could grab a jacket with Sirius. He stopped at the bottom, waiting for Peter, who was still staring curiously at the "alcohol." "You coming?" he asked.
Peter was surprised at James's sudden desire to include him. James was, too. "Nah," Peter said. "I'll wait for you here." And then he went back to staring at the still-opened bottle.
James and Sirius had grabbed sweaters out of their trunks, but James declined Sirius's invitation to go anyway. Despite the feelings he had, James didn't really want to see Lily just then. And where else would she be if not at lunch? "I'll just wait for you here," said James, almost echoing Peter's reply.
Sirius rolled his eyes but left James in the dormitory by himself. James didn't move, listening to the following interaction between Sirius and Peter.
The second his two idols had disappeared up the stairs, Peter had grabbed for Remus's "alcohol" and held it to his nose. It had no scent, so it was possible that it wasn't alcohol—but then again, Peter had never actually smelled alcohol before (he hadn't even gotten this close in proximity to it, really), so there was also a possibility that it still could be. He was holding it up to his lips, ready to taste, when Sirius suddenly appeared at his shoulder and grabbed the bottle from Peter.
"You idiot," Sirius said, capping it and dropping it back to the floor. Sirius continued to exit out of the dorm and Peter scrambled to follow him, his face bright red from embarrassment.
James stood still for a few more seconds before rushing down to the fireplace and picking up Remus's quill, parchment, and bottle. James wasn't interested in drinking any of it—but he placed the bottle onto Remus's sheets when he had re-entered the dormitory.
Sigûr, James's owl, was sleeping in her cage when James came back in. He took a sheet of parchment and scribbled a message onto it: short, but to the point and very sincere. James looked over at Sigûr, who was still snoozing with her head underneath the wing with the spot shaped like a moon, and set the quill down. He would wake her later.
And besides, Lily wasn't in her dormitory anyway. She was probably off getting lunch, chatting amiably with her friends Mary and Alice while smiling all friendly-like at Snivellus from across the hall. James suppressed a sudden surge of anger. He didn't even want to think about him right now.
James also tried to suppress the loud noises that were now coming from his stomach, but he soon realized that the only way to fully do that was to join Lily—and Sirius and Peter—down in the Great Hall. He rolled his eyes as he headed down the stairs, only imagining what kind of evil glares Lily would send in his direction this time.
James might have been certain that Severus would have been in the Great Hall during lunch, but—for the first time in a long time—he was wrong. Severus was having the same type of feelings James was having that morning—the reluctancy to see Lily, because he, too, felt guilty.
But not only was he guilty for last night—he was furious at stupid Potter for almost killing the girl he loved. And not only was she the girl he loved, but she was his best friend, too. Severus had never had a best friend before. He had never had much luck with friends. But now, as Sev stood awkwardly under the farthest tree from the castle, he was hoping that was about to change.
He was standing so awkwardly because they were all hunched quite sardine-ly together. Sev thought it was a bit strange for a group of their size to be hiding out right at the mouth of the Forbidden Forest, but then again, he wasn't with the most normal of people. Sev was wearing his large coat again, his hands stuffed into his pockets, and he kept glancing at the windows of the Great Hall in between views of his new-found "friends," hoping and yet not hoping to catch glimpses of Lily in the windows. He knew she wouldn't approve of what he was doing.
To be honest, he didn't really know what he was doing. There had been a letter, written in green ink, lying by the foot of his bed that morning, telling Sev to arrive at precisely this time and to not tell anyone what he was doing. And Sev had accepted, thrown off by the events of the night before and needing something to take his mind off of it.
At the head of the group—well, it had never been decided that this had been the head of the group, because they were all in a circle, but the almost-glow of Lucius Malfoy's white-blond hair made it almost imperative that he be the one in charge. Next to Lucius stood Goyle, with whom Sev had already been acquainted with. A few boys away from Goyle were Avery and Mulciber, who was cutting up slices of his breakfast (whatever that was) with a little knife he had obviously filched from the Hall. Avery and Mulciber were best friends already, Sev could tell. They were both a year older than him, so Sev had guessed it would be so. There were other boys, too, but Sev didn't care about them.
Lucius was smirking at Sev in a way that made him feel both uncomfortable and accepted at the same time. Needless to say, Sev was in awe of the fifth-year, from the moment Sev had slid in next to him at the Slytherin table after being sorted. The way Lucius had patted Sev's back and looked into his eyes seemed to say, I know how you feel, and Sev had had felt welcomed with opened arms, a much better change after being torn away from Lily. Of course, he hadn't been all consoled, but this unsuspected gesture from Lucius—to be friends, real friends, instead of the kind of "I'm-bigger-than-you" mentor the looks of Lucius had first promised.
"So…" Lucius began in his slow drawl, still smirking at Sev, and despite the low volume of his voice, all the boys in the group suddenly fell silent. "Little Severus Snape, first-year student, and already in trouble." This remark incited snickers from the other boys, all older than Sev. They had all turned on him now, staring him down with dark eyes that Sev suddenly realized had the same quality—emptiness.
A shiver ran down the eleven-year-old's spine.
"But we have seen things, Snape," Lucius continued, addressing Sev by his last name. It sounded almost exactly like the way Potter always said it, but the intensity behind it did not sound, curiously enough, like hatred. It sounded like approval. "We have seen things," and here Lucius looked around at the group, nodding and smirking, "and we have spoken to People," and here Sev felt a strange feeling that that word should be capitalized, "and have been assured…to expect great things from you."
The group nodded, almost in unison, and Sev felt a strange thrill. It was almost like the scared feeling he got before he knew his father was about to beat him—but this time, Sev enjoyed it. He was unable to say why, but the looks they were all giving him—of approval, of equality, goddamn it, even of reverence—filled his empty belly with something food never could, and left him starving and thirsting for more.
"You intrigue me, Snape," Lucius began, throwing off the "us"s and the "we"s that a group encumbered him with. "And I want you to know—we will be watching you. Testing you. Waiting for you."
Lucius's words, quiet as though they were, seemed to ring across the clearing and pound against Sev's eardrums. And even though he had not said a word since he arrived, the way Lucius closed that sentence seemed to indicate to Sev that he should leave.
Back in the Great Hall, James was sitting next to Sirius, taking small bites out of a large sandwich. Sirius and Peter were arguing about something—or rather, Sirius was making fun of some physical feature of Peter's and Peter was just taking it good-naturedly, the idiot. James didn't want to eat. All he could concentrate on was the flicker of red hair happening every so often in the corner of his eye.
But as James continued to stare out the window in earnest, another disturbance somewhere in the bushes near the Forbidden Forest caught his glance. James squinted, desperate to see what—or who—it was, but the flicker of black settled and did not move again.
Five minutes later, James's attention was drawn to that area again, and he watched curiously as the scrawny figure of a boy suddenly emerged from the darkness at the mouth of the forest. The wind outside was blowing the hair of the boy around as he darted sneakily up the hill to the castle, and he had turned up the collars of his long coat.
James suddenly turned around to scan the Great Hall. Snivellus was not there.
But when he looked back out the window, Snivellus wasn't there, either. But what was there was a medium-sized group of older students, also peeling shadily away from the underbrush. James frowned, now totally forgetting about his sandwich.
Moments later, the doors to Great Hall opened, and James saw Snivellus hesitate at the entrance. He found what he was looking for, and a wide and wild grin spread across his face as he hurried to sit next to Lily—who, as James hadn't noticed, was eating alone.
But James cast a glance out the window again, just to see the group of older boys hurrying up the hill. James recognized the gleam of blonde hair he knew to be Lucius Malfoy's—a fifth-year Slytherin with a secret reputation for trouble.
When James stole another look at Snivellus, he was surprised to see him laughing wildly at something Lily had just said. He looked changed, James decided, as if something really good had just happened. James wondered if it had anything to do with the secret meeting at the bottom of the hill.
But as Snivellus's laughter died down, he caught sight of James staring at him. James saw something flicker in his eyes, but it was immediately replaced by a look of intense hatred. Lily was concentrating on her food, but James could only stare back at Snivellus in suspicion—and complete confusion.