Chapter 5

I walked into the Dot to find Darcy sitting by herself, nursing a milkshake and reading the newspaper. She looked up when she heard the door and smiled at me. I made my way over to her table, and tried my best to smile back at her. Darcy's brow furrowed with concern.

"Manny, have you been crying?" She asked. "You're eyes are all red. Are you okay?"

I sighed, and thought quickly. "I'm fine." I lied. "It's just that…. Emma. She's been judging me about the whole Sam thing, you know? Like I don't feel bad enough already."

Darcy nodded. "It's not her place to judge you." She affirmed. "But that being said, there are some things that you need to understand. I feel like you sort of take sex for granted." I opened my mouth to interrupt, but was silenced by Darcy's stare. "It's not necessarily your fault Manny. You don't know any better. But sex is a sacred thing, and I don't think you should just be giving it away to people you don't love."

I rolled my eyes. "I was drunk, Darcy." I reminded her.

Darcy sighed. "That's another thing." She said. "I really wish you'd be more careful. It makes me worried, Manny. When you're drunk… when you're not in control of yourself… bad things can happen. Look." Darcy slides the paper towards me. "This article has got me really freaked. Apparently there's like some roofie rapist that they just caught who scaled lodges around this area, slipping drugs into random girls drinks. And he was apparently at the lodge when we were. Do you understand that that could have been you Manny? That if you hadn't been with Sam, that guy could have done it to you too?"

I looked down at the article, and saw a picture of a scruffy guy glaring at the camera. I had a flash of leather touching my skin, of a bad smell. Of hands, much too large, touching my body. Of a leering smile, of a voice way, way too deep. The article swam in front of my eyes, and I pushed myself back from the table, still clutching the paper in my hands.

"That's… that's awful." I said, my voice sounding weird to my own ears. "I'm sorry Darcy, but I think I need to go." Before she could say anything, I was out of my seat and running out the door.

****

I pretty much barreled through the window to the basement, causing Emma to nearly jump out of her skin. "What are you doing here?" She asked, sounding a little bit pissed.

I ignored her, throwing the article to the floor and taking my phone out of my pocket and searching through my contacts. Finally, I found the number I wanted. He picked up before the first ring even finished.

"Manny!" Sam cried, sounding very excited. "You called! God, I thought you'd never…"

"Sam." I said, and his sentence came to a halt. "Stop."

"Stop what?" He asked. "Stop calling? I'm sorry, Manny, but I've just been really worried…"

"Sam." I said, interrupting him again. "Stop pretending. I know what you did."

Emma, obviously confused, got up from her seat and slowly moved to pick up the article I had dropped. She skimmed the first page and then looked at me, her eyes wide. "Wait." Sam said. "What do you mean?"

"I know what you did to me, Sam." I said, trying to keep myself calm. "I've known all along, and I…"

"Manny, what are you talking about?" Sam asked, sounding generally confused. "I never…"

"STOP LYING!" I screamed into the phone. "I know what you did to me that night at the lodge; stop lying to me, you need to stop lying! Please Sam…"

"Manny, I honestly have no idea what you're talking about. That night at the lodge you had too much to drink and passed out on the couch, and I went to find Darcy to take you back with her…"

"Stop." I said, my voice shaking.

"But she wasn't anywhere, and I came back to find you…"

"Stop. Please stop." I whispered.

"And you weren't there anymore. And someone they'd seen you leaving with some older guy, and I've been worried. That's why I kept calling…"

I didn't hear the rest of what he had to say, because I'd dropped my phone. My legs seemed to give out and I slumped to the floor. I heard Emma calling my name, asking if I was okay, but I couldn't form the words. I felt her grab my face, and she forced me to look at her.

"Manny." She said, her voice shaking violently. "What's going on?"

"I wanted it to be him, Emma." I whispered. "I needed it to be him."

Emma nodded. "I'm sorry, Manny." She said, her eyes filling with tears. "I'm so, so sorry."

And suddenly it all came crashing down on me, like a hundred ton weight had just crushed me to the floor. I curled up into a ball and started to sob. Emma pulled me into her, and there we sat for what seemed like an eternity, our tears soaking through her carpet.