Susannah looked up into Jake's eyes. "You know, don't you?" There was no anger in her voice, no extreme emotion of any kind. Yet Jake sensed a sort of sadness that he wasn't supposed to sense.
The boy looked at his feet. "Nothing's happened, Suze." His face turned crimson as he started grinding his moccasin into the sugar sand they were in. The mushrooms they were looking for grew at the edge of the trail of sand. So far they had found none. That's not to say they were trying very hard, either.
Susannah saw the boy's embarrassment. This topic was close to taboo for the ka-tet. The palpable tension between the gunslinger and Eddie had become almost too much for the other three to bear. Often they would go on their own, just to escape the cloud revolving around the two. She had known the boy knew, she had simply wanted to hear him, someone, acknowledge that she wasn't crazy again. Jake was right though, nothing had happened, yet. It was coming though; two men couldn't keep their urges at bay for too long.
Eddie poked at the fire, drying out his latest whittling project, a small elephant he had heard Roland speak of. It was silent, but not uncomfortably so. The two men had learned that words were not needed between their group. The gunslinger held a cigarette, tendrils of smoke rising from between his fingers. It circled his head, creating a sort of crown, a haze through which Eddie saw nothing but the blue bombardier's eyes; the eyes that had held him from the first meeting. They looked directly at the prisoner, though they seemed to go beyond him as well. Instantly he felt what Roland was thinking and blushed so profusely he had to put his hands up to his face. He could smell the sweet aroma of the freshly carved wood and realized he still gripped the elephant. Good, he focused on the smell and soon the thought subsided, his and the gunslinger's. The blush faded and he glanced back at Roland. His face was bland as ever, that poker face Eddie was so familiar with. But there was something in those eyes, what was it? -Humor- Eddie realized. Yes, that was it. The glint in the gunslinger's eyes made Eddie fill with anger. He thinks this is funny!?
"Is all this fucking funny enough for you?" He jumped up, gripping the elephant so hard tendons jumped from his hands.
The gunslinger glanced up. "You weren't supposed to receive that thought. I apologize."
Eddie bit his lip and soon felt blood welling in his mouth. Of course he was supposed to receive the thought. Whether Roland knew it consciously or not, he was supposed to get that image. It wasn't a new image either. Eddie had made it out of his own mind on more than a few occasions. The two of them in the sugar sand, Eddie's hands buried to his wrists, gripping with passion while Roland's teeth bit at his shoulder.
"Sit down, Eddie, you'll hurt the elephant." He smiled, obviously cracking a joke.
Eddie bit harder, but sat down. He played with the elephant in the sand like a child in a box. The talons dug and pushed the sand, creating small piles.
"We can't, you know." A pause followed. "Right?" Roland continued to smoke, not answering.
He took the cigarette out of his mouth, "They're back." His eyes never leaving the fire.
"Yea, I know." Eddie stood up to go greet the rest of their ka-tet. Susannah didn't lift her arms to be embraced by him; she simply smiled up at him and crawled towards the fire to prepare her mushrooms.
That night Roland lay awake, aware of the slow movements coming from Eddie's and Susannah's bag. He had noticed that it was taking longer for Eddie to finish each time. After the movements had ceased, whispers floated towards him. He didn't listen; their conversation was private. Of course he knew it wouldn't be long until Susannah had had enough of the ominous cloud hanging over their group. She would eventually want what would make Eddie happy. Cuthbert had been the same with Alain. The three had had their triangle and cloud as well. First it had been Bert and Alain. Then Alain and the gunslinger. Soon all three boys had been together, each refusing to be left out. Roland had credited it to boyish urges, but through his travels and reflections he had come to realize it had been more between them. There was the short break when Susan Delgado had played into his life and caused a fight between the three boys. Even after her death however, Alain had convinced the gunslinger again. He was the last man Roland had known and thought he would ever care to. Then Eddie arrived, so much like Bert, so unlike the gunslinger. Without knowing it, Eddie had dissolved that wall that years of dust and dirt and rain had hardened.
The gunslinger felt Eddie still awake. Susannah and Jake had drifted off into their uneasy dreams. Again he sent the image of them together to Eddie, curious for a reaction, and felt no resistance from the receiver. A moment later, he sensed Eddie drift off.
When the sun rose the next morning, Eddie woke to find the rest of his ka-tet had left, with the exception of Oy. This was odd considering that the bumbler never left Jake's side.
"Did Jake tell you to stay here with me?" Eddie looked across to the bumbler, who was sitting a few feet away staring at him with those gold-rimmed eyes.
"Ake!" the bumbler replied, getting up to wag his tail at the mention of his friend's name.
"Roland, I can't take this!" Susannah stopped the three and turned to look up at the gunslinger behind her. "Talk to him, stop this! He can't take it either. It's going to break us if you don't." Finally she had voiced the thoughts, put words to and made palpable the cloud.
Looking down, Roland nodded. He gathered his herbs and noticed Jake off to the side, looking strangely empty without the bumbler by his side. His face was red, but he nodded as well, arms full of his gatherings. That was his cue. Tonight, Eddie and he would palaver.
A small lake was situated near their camp. They met there; it hadn't needed to be voiced. There was a clearing that led to a shallow decline into the lake. Both had seen and knew.
Roland was waiting, sitting in the sand, smoking. Eddie joined him, smelling his smoke combined with the sand. Neither spoke for a long while, watching the lake reflect the late afternoon sun.
Smoke swirled around the two, clouding their sight. Roland turned to Eddie, his sharp blue eyes piercing into his mind through the haze. Suddenly he saw again. He saw what was coming and his heart sped. Roland must have seen it too; within seconds he had pushed against the smaller man.
Gnarled hands tore at his clothes. He needed this. This was it. His mouth reached for the gunslinger's. They found each other and the hands took themselves away from the clothes. He felt them run through his hair. Grab his chin. Push him further into his mouth. He grunted into the gunslinger and felt a small moan in return. They broke and his shirt was thrown over his head and carelessly aside. The rough hands ran down his back and around his front. Back up they went stopping on the nipple twisting it slightly. The gunslingers teeth replaced the hand; Eddie threw his head back and gasped so hard the gunslinger stopped. At that moment, all playing ended. The gunslinger suddenly became experienced, knowledgeable. Soon Roland and Eddie's clothes were piled in the sand. Eddie felt himself being pushed harshly backwards and his head hit the sand in a sharp whomp.
"Damn, careful!" He propped himself on his elbow, rubbing his head. He looked and saw Roland looking at him patiently. He dropped his arm into the sand.
"Are you quite done?" The gunslinger prompted. He sat back on his heels, cradled loosely in between the prisoner's ankles. His chest, sprinkled with a light fur, glistened as he waited for the reply.
Eddie clenched his teeth and he could feel the bombardier's eyes boring into his chest, his stomach. His breath quickened as he nodded. The gunslinger nodded back and crawled forward as Eddie leaned back down. The gunslinger's face loomed over Eddie. Roland leaned down in a gentle kiss slowly pushing his tongue in. Eddie pushed back on his shoulders, stopping the kiss.
"I'm not a woman, buddy."
Roland smiled at the sarcasm. "I know that full well, Eddie." He tried again, this time rougher. Eddie's hand was pushed into the sand. He grunted for air, but still Roland did not pull back. Eddie's hands scratched at the gunslinger's back, leaving deep red welts. Finally the kiss ended and the two gasped, pulling in the scent of each other. Eddie's eyes glanced down the length of Roland's torso. The gunslinger saw and it was the only incentive he needed. He made his way down the other's body, lingering when Eddie hissed.
"Stop, Jesus!" Roland took this for what it meant, enough was enough; he had to get on with it before his prize exploded onto his stomach.
"Fine. As you wish." His strong hands grabbed Eddie's waist and thigh and roughly turned him over. Sand landed in his mouth and he spat. He heard Roland spit as well and was instantly filled with fear. He tried to turn to look, but a hard push shoved him back into the sand. His face showed a grimace, knowing what was inevitable.
After an agonizing five seconds which felt like an eternity, Eddie felt the gunslinger push into him. His teeth clenched, trapping his tongue between them. Blood welled in his mouth, covering up the gritty sand taste with salt. There was a pause and the gunslinger slowly pulled out again. Eddie began to relax when he felt the pressure again.
Roland's breath was fast and hot on his back. The gunslinger made no sound however. Eddie wanted to grunt but would not lose to Roland in this battle. An arm snaked its way around his stomach between him and the sand. It lifted him up, but the gunslinger never stopped pushing. Teeth scraped their way along his shoulder as the hand snaked down. When it reached its destination, Eddie cared no longer about the small battle of will between them. A rough moan exposed itself with his next exhale. There was no patience, not anymore. Roland's hand was fast, experienced. Within a few moments he felt Roland shudder into his back, twitching slightly. The prisoner followed, gasping open mouthed. He couldn't breathe and the gunslinger hadn't stopped. Eventually the motion ceased and Eddie collapsed. The strong arm grasped him about the waist to keep him from falling. It turned him so he lay on his back, staring at the stars. Fast breathing came from near his feet. The gunslinger had collapsed slightly after catching Eddie.
Roland's fatigue didn't last long, though. He stood, grabbed his deerskins and walked toward the small lake.
Eddie continued looking up, absently playing with the sand between his fingers. His tongue hurt, his whole body hurt. But he felt complete, whole now that it was over. How long had it been? Thirty minutes, ten? It didn't matter, this world's time changed quickly anyway. He dropped soon after standing, pain reeking havoc on his body. Inhaling deeply, he tried again slowly and progressed to the lake.
Roland was in it up to his waist, his back towards Eddie. His back muscles twitched as his arms moved to scrub at his body. Watching the gunslinger he knew what was next. Knew what the gunslinger would say and that Susannah would know. He waded to Roland, waiting for the older man to speak. Gazing at him, Eddie felt his desire swell again. He tried to suppress it but the gunslinger had noticed.
"No, Eddie." He kept rinsing his body, not looking up.
"I know, shut up. I get it." Tears rose in his eyes. He didn't really get it; he just trusted his friend. Roland knew, no matter what he always knew. A drop of water rolled down the older gunslinger's cheek and Eddie reached to wipe it. His hand was immediately stopped.
"Never again." This time the bombardier eyes met his, no maliciousness in them. "You have softened me Eddie, and I do love you. But Susannah does more and she needs you now."
Eddie nodded and their naked bodies embraced. "Thank you." The gunslinger whispered.
Eddie walked slowly back to their camp, thinking of Suze, of the ka-tet. Yes, Roland's quest was by far more important than the love of someone he cared for. That was part of what made him so appealing. Suze, though, she was allowed to be in love. She could love and finish the quest, but she wouldn't do one without the other. And Roland needed her; he needed them all. So he had made his choice. Eddie picked up his speed; he had to explain everything to Susannah. She wouldn't leave, the quest was too important to her. But she would be cold for the rest of their time together. Another cloud would hang above their ka-tet. With the previous one evaporated, the young gunslinger wouldn't allow another.
A/N: There! Finally, right? Not a lot of people like this ending, but in the words of the immortal Stephen King, "tough titties." Now hopefully my two-year long streak of writer's block is done.