Pairing: Aaron/Tyler
Warning: Sex. One sided. Nonconsensual. Rape. Violence. Pain. Shattering of innocence. Because of Audrey, I was inspired to finish the chapter and post it. But my muse is pretty much dead. So, sorry for the delays in everything. Still -- no Pogue. .
A/N: And, I started writing this before I'd written the 'need' chapter, so if you notice the similarities, it's because I was writing the chapters at the same time. I got distracted with other stories, and rping, which is why this chapter is so late compared to the other one. Please Review.
A/N 2: I've been reading Anita Blake. And she has sort of become this kind of sexbot. Weird, right? Because I thought I love sex fiction XD. It took a really long time for me to realize that if not written correctly, sex scenes can suck so much worst. They can destroy books - especially when written in such quantities as Anita Blake. This whole fic for me is sex I couldn't add to other fics without disrupting the plot (maybe LKH should take a chapter from my common sense book…) If, and when my huge quantity of sex begins to annoy you or sound repetitive - do tell me. Because I don't believe writing sex is edgy. EVERYTHING has sex in it. And it has violence and blood. I don't write this to be edgy. I write it because this is what inspires me when I've hit a road block. I write it because this is what I like to read. My writing has never had anything to do with edge. Even if most of it is borderline rape between homosexual boys…You should write to write - not to be edgy. Because the radical of one generation can be the conservative of the next, and edge is subjective. So…please enjoy…but tell me if it sucks. Because I want to know. I, unlike some particular authors, care what my readers want.
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Fingers curled around defined hips and gripped them hard. Tyler's back scrapped against the carpet as he was pulled closer, beneath a heavier body. Tyler's hands pressed against the hard chest and his arms shook with the effort. Aaron's legs, strong from years of swimming and track, pinned Tyler to the ground. Tyler's squirming was doing a great deal more than he knew. "Quit it," Tyler panted out. "I said no. Get off."
Aaron slapped Tyler's hands aside and shoved him against the ground. "No," he whispered against the skin of Tyler's neck. Tyler squirmed uncomfortably as Aaron's tongue pressed firmly against the pressure point on his neck. Aaron was supposed to be different, that was the basis of this whole relationship. It was all supposed to be a secret, they both agreed. Aaron was careful to treat Tyler the exact same as he always had before. He made sure he insulted Tyler just as often as he did Reid. But in secrecy, in silence and shadows, Aaron was supposed to be different. He was supposed to be gentle, Tyler knew. His lips were soft, his teeth never bruised. His hands, calloused fingers, always curled around Tyler's hips, but never hard enough to hurt. Or maybe it always hurt, but the pleasure Tyler derived from the older boy just obliterated the pain. Maybe Aaron hadn't ever been different and never changed. Maybe Tyler was just waking up, just realizing that he'd been fooling himself the entire relationship. Two months. He'd just been blind, blissfully blind - willfully blind. Aaron was not different. He was the same he'd always been. Cruel, selfish, but above all else - lethal.
Aaron's teeth bit into his neck, soft at first, gradually he applied more pressure until Tyler split his lip in an attempt to conceal his yelp. Blood filled his mouth and he swallowed hard. Aaron licked tenderly at the bruise, until the blood had smeared and his teeth marks shone bright against the bronze skin. Tyler's hands curled around Aaron's arms, but he wasn't strong enough, his nails weren't long enough, to have any effect on the older boy. "Aaron -"
"Don't talk," Aaron ordered, his voice unusually quiet, calm. To emphasize his request, he pressed his lips against Tyler's. Hard and controlling. The kiss wasn't anything like the ones they'd shared before. Aaron's fingers curled around Tyler's jaw and squeezed until he managed to force the mouth open. He did notice that the kiss wasn't as good as it was when Tyler kissed him back, but he was horny as fuck, and at the moment, the alcohol had burned away his concern for the younger boy. It'd been two months and he was horny. And then there were all those financial problems with his father…but no, Aaron wasn't going to think about that right now.
Tyler's body heaved beneath him as he struggled. Aaron pulled away and Tyler sucked in a mouthful of air His hair was messy, gel-less and dry, his cheeks were tinged red and his body continuously shifted beneath Aaron's in his attempt to steady his breathing. Aaron smiled at him, trailing kisses along Tyler's jaw, softer now. "Aaron, please -"
"Shhh," Aaron hissed against Tyler's neck. "You know how to be quiet, baby boy." His teeth caught Tyler's earlobe and he slowly sucked on it. "I've wanted to taste you for…" He licked a long patch of skin up Tyler's neck. "So long."
"I don't want -"
"I won't tell you to shut up again," Aaron growled against Tyler's bruising neck.
"But -"
The punch was fast and hard and Tyler's head snapped to the side with a soft 'oomph'. "This doesn't have to hurt, baby boy." His hands cupped Tyler's face, suddenly soft again. The pad of his thumb pressed gently against Tyler's reddening cheek. "I don't want to hurt you, Tyler. I just want to get what I deserve."
"You better kill me," Tyler hissed, shoving away Aaron's comforting hands. "Or you will get what you deserve."
"Tyler," Aaron tsked disapprovingly. "You can't be a fucking virgin. Not with Garwin hanging on you like he --"
"Shut up," Tyler snapped, jerking his head out of Aaron's persistent grasp. "Don't talk about him." Tyler had already risked his relationship with Reid, because he couldn't turn on and off his hatred quite like Aaron could. Reid was already suspicious. Tyler could feel the very momentum of change occurring and he wanted to cling to all he'd ever done until his fingers bled from the hold. He wouldn't be able to hold them both, he knew. They were opposing forces - two obtrusive magnets. And he'd turned away from Reid, briefly, to hold Aaron. That's when the change would happen, he knew. He just didn't know that Aaron would be the one changing - even while he held onto him. He always thought it would be Reid. Because he wasn't looking. But he was wrong. Aaron had changed right before his eyes. He'd been looking and he still missed it all.
Aaron's face screwed up in an ugly scowl Tyler hadn't seen over the past few months. Instead of physically hurting Tyler, like he wanted to, he tugged at the bottom of his shirt until he managed to force it over his head and toss it to the side. "Aaron, stop," Tyler gasped. Aaron was suddenly so heavy, pressed down so much harder on him and he couldn't breathe. "Please -"
Aaron violently swatted away Tyler's offending hands before tugging at the button of his jeans. "Just shut up. I'll go easy on you. Just let me do this, Tyler." The need managed to worm its way into Aaron's voice and Tyler paused in his struggling. Aaron's eyes were different, softer. Change. Again.
"Aaron --"
"Please." Aaron pressed his mouth against Tyler's reddened cheek and gave him a soft kiss. "I'll be gentle, I promise."
Tyler swallowed hard. Because he knew he wasn't going to stop Aaron. He wouldn't say 'Yes, sure, have your way with me'. But he wouldn't say no again. And wasn't that just as bad as consenting to rape? Aaron's voice had been soft, borderline pleading. Aaron knew it spoke to a part of Tyler. A specific part necessary to force the youngest son of Ipswich into saying yes.
Tyler turned his head away, setting fixed eyes on the wall across the room. Your mind is supposed to shut down when faced with trauma. When something happens, something you can't handle, your mind is supposed to refuse it. Just not see, not feel it. Just block it out completely. It's supposed to save you - preserve your sense of self.
Vaguely, Tyler felt Aaron undress. He felt Aaron pull at his clothes, no longer rough, but far from gentle. The jig was up, as they say. Aaron no longer had to fake it. He didn't have to be somebody else - Tyler would never ask this of him. Tyler would never ask it of anyone.
He felt everything in suspended motion - like running in water. Aaron even used lubrication. The fact that he'd thought to bring lubrication spoke volumes about him. It meant that Aaron had always intended to do this. Had he always carried lube and just never got around to using it? Or had he planned for this moment in time specifically? Had he planned for everything? Except Tyler's reluctance. Is that what Tyler wasn't supposed to be - just an easy lay? But Tyler had unwittingly turned it into a game. Tyler didn't want to have sex the first date. Or any date after that. Tyler had been scared. Aaron, as the boyfriend, was supposed to accept that - not lie in wait.
Aaron's fingers were probing, gently stretching Tyler. And they made Tyler squirm. Uncomfortable at first, before the pain began. Pain that forced hurt sounds from Tyler's lips. He didn't try to conceal them. He didn't care. But Aaron stretched him. Until the pain was nothing more than a forever present dull ache. Then Aaron pressed his lips to Tyler's and swallowed Tyler's scream as he thrust into him. It was a loud scream, even while silenced, that ate away at Aaron's air reserves and left him gasping. His body convulsed against Tyler's, and he pulled away only when Tyler had fallen silent. Still, beneath his body.
The thrusts were too numerous to recall each one. But his mind didn't do a very good job at blocking out his trauma. Tyler could feel the obstructive organ moving in and out of him. His innards were inflamed, and it burned. It made his back arch, lifting his spine from the carpet, pressing his chest against Aaron's. Each thrust brought a sound from Tyler's lips. A whimper, a yelp, a sob, and all the in-betweens. He was reacting. Which meant he felt it. All of it. Everything Aaron was doing to him. He felt the lips moving against his neck, his shoulder. Biting and gnawing and nibbling.
His hands moved too. Roaming along Tyler's ribs, caress his thighs, grabbling at his hips. Tyler's head tilted back against the carpet, his eyes screwed shut. His hands lay limp at his side, against the carpet. He was already sweating, previously dry hair matted to his forehead. Aaron tasted salt on his tongue, and blood. And when he lifted his head, he saw the tears shining against Tyler's cheeks. The tears left tracks in the sweat.
Tyler Simms was crying. Aaron hadn't ever seem him cry before. Tyler always seemed so far removed from everything. Not quite the tough of Reid, but untouchable nonetheless. He wouldn't cry unless he was emotionally connected to something, and it hadn't ever occurred to Aaron before. Tyler was emotionally connected to him. He was hurting Tyler. Not just physically, but the emotional betrayal was far more severe . Aaron closed his eyes because he didn't want to see it. With his eyes shut, it was easier to be cruel. He didn't have to see that broken look splayed across Tyler's face. It was easier to bite into the skin beneath his lips. The sounds that escaped Tyler was arousing. As long as he didn't have to see the pained look that accompanied him.
The semen did nothing more than ignite the burning fire already inside of Tyler. But with his release, Aaron did have the decency to pull out. He even had the decency to get up and leave. Perhaps he knew Tyler better than Tyler had thought. Tyler didn't want to be coddled by a boy he thought he loved - by a boy who had all but raped him. He didn't want to be coddled at all. He remained on the ground, mind blank, staring emptily at the wall. His thighs were wet with blood and semen. He could feel the spit and sweat and tears drying on his skin. The throb of his cheek, just beginning to swell. The pulsing bite marks, along his neck and shoulder, checkered across his upper chest - bites he couldn't even remember receiving. Finger shaped bruises made his hips ache when he shifted. His thighs hurt too, but he couldn't remember why. All the pain seemed little - compared to what had just happened. But it was all he could think about.
"Tyler?" The concern was evident. Audible. Tyler flinched away. A whole minute elapsed before his vision cleared - before he saw that familiar face. The hurt visible, bared for him to see.
"Reid?" His throat trembled with use. It hurt, as if he'd been screaming. He didn't remember screaming. He sounded broken. His voice didn't lie. It'd take too much effort. How long could he have been laying there, if Reid had thought to come and find him?
Reid smiled, a sad sort of smile that looked out of place on his face. His hands lowered to cup Tyler's face. Tyler remained still beneath his touch. "I'm sorry," Reid said in a controlled whisper. His voice trembled with pent up anger.
Tyler shook his head and moaned. Moving pulled his skin taunt. And that hurt too. Reid's smile was watery. "Don't," Tyler said when he saw that look on Reid's face. It was the look he always got when he intended to do something permanent. Like murder. "Don't do anything, Reid." With effort and strain, Tyler lifted a hand to touch Reid. He curled his fingers around Reid's wrist. "I don't want to be alone."
And what did that mean? It meant he didn't want to be alone right now - in this given situation. He wanted comfort, as all humans did. He wanted comfort from his best friend because he'd just suffered a great lost. But it meant that by gaining revenge, Reid would be leaving him too. Because murder destroyed people. Vengeance tore people apart. And Tyler didn't want to be alone. Not now. Not ever.