HEY GUYS. I'm going to be uploading shorter chapters now. I have stuff backlogged but I don't want to put it up now because you know, work and all. I'd rather be able to have a steady stream instead of jerky updates.

So I apologize for the shortness of this chapter, but that's the reason. So anyway:

READ ON!

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"Oh, come on!" Many of the men shouted in unison. Just across the bridge was a pink sentry that protected the nine women, who were enjoying teatime just outside of their base. Soldier didn't like it one bit, and he announced so, "You can't set up outside your base!"

RED's Medic, a young doctor whose small stature belied a woman with much experience under her nonexistent belt, frowned lightly at the shouting just a little ways away, "Zose men have no clazz, I zee…"

"Come on now, give us one good reason why we can't enjoy some tea without you men ruining everything?" RED's Sniper, the cool, calculated leader of the group, called to the men across the bridge.

Demoman frowned, and spoke up, "It's called 'No Man's Land' fer a reason! Ye cannae just take it fer yerself!"

"Exactly!" RED's Engineer, the ever polite woman whose only joy in life was tinkering and improving on others' work, said with a smile. She continued to speak even though she wasn't even looking at the men, "And since it's called 'No Man's Land', dunnit that mean it belongs ta thah women?"

There was a high pitched, delighted squeal, "Good one, Engie!" RED's Scout, the tiniest and highest pitched of the nine, giggled aloud.

The BLUs glared out at the RED compound. Women never understood that unless they had a fence, it wasn't their property. The BLUs decided to teach them a thing or two about why forts existed… "So what's the plan?" Soldier asked as they peeked out at the girls who were sipping tea and eating crumpets.

"We can charge 'em, lads!" Demoman explained, "That sentry cannae stand up to my bombs! Medic, you stand back! Ain't want those lasses hurt by ya!"

"Vere is Spy?" Medic asked in passing, completely ignoring Demoman's remarks.

"Alright, Maggots! Let's go!" Medic sighed as his teammates rushed the compound. The sentry lit up and an adorable "Beepbeepbeep!" sounded.

RED's Engineer looked up quickly from her tea (no alcoholic poison for her, thank you very much!) and blinked at her sentry, "Oh my. Summon thinks they kin git past mah sentreh~!"

The women all looked up from their teatime and stared as their Engineer's sentry, which was attempting to keep the men at bay. Engineer frowned a bit at her sentry, and hoped it would remain okay. She was interrupted from her thoughts, however, when she heard a laugh from one of her teammates: "Wahahahaha!" RED's Demo(wo)man, the incredibly lucky and lovable storyteller of the women, proclaimed, "Those BLU men donnae know how ta git in an enemy base e'en 'f we were all 'n a drunk'n stupor!"

"Like you are now?" RED's Medic asked between her crumpets.

"Ain't it the truth?" RED's Engineer replied, feeling a little better about the safety of her work, "Look at 'em, runnin' around like some sorta rats, I wouldn't be surprised if- SENTRY DOWN!" she suddenly leapt up and screeched magnificently; BLU's Demoman had finally blown her sentry up with his pipe bombs, and Engineer rushed to salvage the pieces and sob into them, "My bayyyyybayyyy!! They murdered her…!"

"Men are so vulgar!" RED's heavy set Heavy Weapons Girl growled. She stood up just as Demo(wo)man stood and shot sticky bombs in a magnificent arc over her Engineer. The BLUs escaped as she began filling the entire bridge with the bombs. The female Heavy roared her disapproval and lifted her fists, "Blowing up things our Engineer spent so much time to build! No stickies are needed; I have half a mind to show them art of PUNCH."

"Like that'd solve anythin'…" RED's Sniper muttered, leaning back in her chair and feigning a nap, "Men don't learn nothin' through force, they'd probably think we were just comin' on to 'em…"

"Then what do you think we should do?" RED's Scout asked as she tried to help their Engineer stop sobbing, "they'll be coming over any moment now."

"Don't worry aboot it," Demo(wo)man said with a smirk, "Spy's not 'ere, ya see?"

"Ohhh, I hope she saves a few for uz…" Medic murmured behind a sly smile, "Zome of zem look zo cute, I could jast eat… zem… up…"

The women were about to stand and prepare to protect their base when there was a screech. RED's Soldier, the voluptuous and muscular powerhouse of the women, sat straight up in her chair and swung her shovel about like a fiend, "BLAST. Filthy rotten SPIES."

"Zpiez in zee compound?" Medic asked, slightly surprised.

"The little bastard grabbed me!" Soldier shouted, swinging wildly at nothing, "Come on out and fight like a woman, you prissy MAN."

RED's Scout then gave a wail and leapt up, flailing around in despair, "Ohhh! Someone touched my butt!"

Heavy frowned angrily, "Oh no you don't!" She swung her fist in a magnificent arc and there was a flicker to her right. Something turned blue for an instant, and then disappeared. The women watched as a small trail of blood led into their base, "Girly man is escaping into base!"

"Demowoman, can you handle the bridge?" Sniper asked, taking the leadership roll, "Don't let 'em by. Everyone else, ya'll go after the spy. We still need to do our job, of course. Pyro, you get into the sewers and don't let ANYONE through."

"Mmph!" The overtly large RED Pyro replied (Her outfit was so bulky; none of the group could tell whether she was male or female). S/he saluted and was off with the others into the base. And so, Demo(wo)man stood at the bridge and taunted them with a laugh. "'Ey boyos!" Demo(wo)man called, "Ya just stay ovah there like good lads fer me!"

"What makes you think we won't just shoot you?" Scout called across the way.

Demo(wo)man winked at the young man with a smile, "Because I 'aven't been shot before; what makes me think it'll 'appen anytime soon?"

The BLU Soldier glared at her as she waved. He growled at the fact that it was true; no one really wanted to kill her… Soldier then turned to Demoman, "You think we can shoot the bombs apart?"

"She'll just re-lay 'em…" Demoman replied, "tha problem is that she kin kill us witout guilt, but we want 'er alive… Fer now, it's a waitin' game…"

"You think we should try and get across?" Scout asked, hoping so much to be able to at least touch a woman for once.

"Rather not take the chance…" Soldier grumbled in thought, "You might be able to get across, but you also have a good chance at getting struck by her pipebombs."

"Can you jump moat?" Heavy pled, "Cute girls are so close!"

"Without Medic? He can't come with me," Soldier said, "And I ain't attempting a mission over there without backup. Demoman, you wanna come with me?"

"For HER? Hah, I'll take my chances and wait," Demoman said.

"I'll go up and see what I can do to scout out then," Sniper offered, turning on his heel and trotting back into the BLU compound. Scout rolled his eyes; the Australian sure knew how to take his sweet time.

And then the young man snapped his fingers in realization, "Yo, I bet I could get across to their base on the roof! We can go fight together, Soldier!"

"Hah, you sure you can handle yourself in there?" Soldier asked. He shouldered his rocket launcher, "Just get yourself over there and I'll back you up, alright?"

"Gotcha, boss!" And Scout was off. The young man rushed past Medic, who was adjusting his boots and straightening his suit, and the Bostonian waved, "Yo Doc! Did you get a good look at those ladies? They're like the kind you see on TV!"

"I vould entirely doubt zat," Medic replied, "Zat implies zat zey zpend hourz preparing zemselvez each day, and zat is impossible, vee are zitting in zee middle of zee desert and are shooting at each ozer repeatedly; zere is no time for…"

"Aww man, you don't have to spend an hour talking about nothing! You should go take a look yourself sometime! Anyway, gotta run!"

"You don't HAVE to run, you know, you can jast…" But Scout was already off, leaving the German behind to sigh lightly and make sure his buttons were aligned. They were, so that made one thing good through the entire horrible day.

He then blinked when he heard someone's cloak drop. BLU's Spy stumbled into the room from the sewers, gasping for air and bleeding from multiple wounds, the most notable one being his nose. Medic leapt up and barely caught his teammate as Spy tripped over himself and fell forward. "V…vat happened?" the doctor asked in light horror.

"Th-the women…" Spy sputtered, coughing up flecks of blood, "Th-they're…"

Medic shook the European. "Spy…? Zpy!?" The German checked his patient's vitals: still alive, just unconscious. He opted to take the man to the medical ward and try to contact the others. This spy had information and he needed to stay alive!

With the way he looked, however, Medic wasn't sure Spy would last...

To Be Continued

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Jajan! There we go, review or punch a dog or summin I don't care.