This is still backlogged pretty decently if I keep the updates small like this, but RED Vs. BLU has nothing to give. I don't know what I'll end up doing. I apologize for any sadness that results from your lack of short stories.

There are other stories I might be able to upload though, so if you care more about my writing than where I upload, check my profile Sunday. Even though nothing may be updated here, I may have updated a fic in a location you might care about.

Sorry for the shameless advertising. Please:

READ ON!

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Scout ran from Medic and jogged up to the second floor of the base, where Sniper was undoubtedly hanging out. He just needed to hop across and land on Demo(wo)man's head. An attack from above was the perfect plan!

Scout continued to run but slammed into something. He gasped when he found that he had run into a soft, invisible mass that flashed red and disappeared again. The Bostonian opened his mouth but something invisible grasped it quickly. A light struggle ensued; Scout didn't really want to hurt the woman, and RED's Spy didn't seem to want to kill Scout, so the battle really wasn't life or death, just a struggle for dominance. It was a battle that the female Spy eventually won.

Scout soon found himself pressed against the wall with one hand over his mouth and another one grasping his right wrist, twisting it painfully upward behind his back. "My, you keep all your muscles in your legs, and you're bound to get beaten when it comes to upper body struggles, petit-"

The woman gave a slight gasp when Scout whipped his leg around. The woman stumbled and found herself on her back. The Builder dropped on top of her, straddling her and restrained her wrists with his hands. "You were sayin', toots?"

Spy struggled a moment, and found that it was no use fighting him. She flopped to the floor and smirked at the young man. "So what are you going to do now? I'm sure a big, strong man like you can think of something to do to little, dainty me."

Scout stared at the woman like a deer into headlights. Dude, this was the first time he was hovering over a hot chick! He had her under his control, and damn, he could do anything he wanted with her! He immediately ran through about seventeen thousand fleeting thoughts on what to do with her in a second. None of them seemed really smart and/or something a freaking awesome superhero like him would do, so he spent the next few seconds staring at her prone form like an addlebrained buffoon.

"Well, if you aren't going to do anything, I guess I'll have to say something," Spy said. She twirled the cigarette to the side of her mouth and spat it on the floor so she could speak clearly without the stick sliding down her throat. "I'm not here to hurt you guys. I'm here under Lady Sniper's orders."

Scout blinked in surprise. "'Lady' Sniper? She your leader or summin?"

"You could say that," Spy replied lightly, taking the fact that she was being pinned down by a sweating, barely mature young man in stride fairly well, "You see, it's been so long since we've seen any men, much less fought them, and…"

"Hey!" Scout interrupted. Spy pursed her lips but let her captor continue, "Man, that's just like us. We're stuck here and fightin' a bunch of guys and then you girls come along! You've been fightin' girls all the time?"

"It's been that way for years, for you men as well, I suppose," Spy said, "To see you men, it's a dream come true. Whatever mix up brought us together, it certainly wasn't on purpose."

"So what should we do?"

"Lady Sniper proposed to meet with your leader and talk with him about a…"

"…a truce?"

Spy giggled softly, and it set Scout's face aflame. "You really are so smart, Mon Petit," she said.

The young man didn't know what she called him, but he liked it. He attempted to hide his face in his shoulder so she wouldn't see his beet red face. "Y-you can call me Scout… you know, if you want…"

Scout hardly realized that she was easing out of his grip. She reached up to take his head in her hands, and she shook his head side to side lightly, as if she were admonishing a child softly. "Mon Petit- There is no reason to be shy around me~"

"Sp-y…!" Scout cried. He didn't want to fight her advances (who would? She was so hot…), but what if… "What if they find you…?"

"Oh, Petit, you'll protect me, won't you?" Spy murmured in question, her voice drowned out by the fact that her lips were roaming his skin and neck, "You're so strong…"

Scout was looking at the ceiling now. Since when was he on his back, anyway? "Can't we get the treaty done first…? Then you'll be safe regardle…-ahahahahahaha! Spy kehhhkkkeeehehehehe that tickles! Stooop!"

Spy looked up from her kissing his neck. Scout was attempting to breathe from his laughter. Obviously he had never been (wo)manhandled so delicately before. "Hmmm? Oh yes, the treaty." She seemed to gain some sort of refinement as she lay on top of his chest, so she could think about their predicament. "Right then, we should get around to that, first and foremost."

Scout was squirming mercilessly under her as she placed her hands on his chest and looked up, "Listen, I can't stay here for long. Can you speak to your leader? Tell him that we can talk at twenty hours. Understand?"

"Oh gawwwwd…" was the only answer the young man could give.

"Petit? At twenty hours, understand?"

Scout squirmed under her. "Your knee…"

Spy looked down with feigned surprise, and she smirked at her knee, which was rubbing ever so delicately against his crotch. She smirked sinisterly and bent down to whisper into his ear, "And now you know what to look forward to, should you succeed."

Scout stared with wide eyes as she flashed red and disappeared completely. The weight of the woman was off of him, and he could feel the cool air on his tightening pants. He took a few moments to remember how to breathe, and he scrambled upwards. Oh god how he hated it when this happened. His mother always got so mad at him when it happened. What was he supposed to do? "Arrrrrg it freaking hurts!" he hissed as he grabbed his face and took several deep breaths. His mother always told him to be careful of women like that: women who promised "things" like "that" for supposedly simple favors. She said that they were only trouble in the end.

But why could he not stop thinking about her!? What did she say? Dammit, he was forgetting already!

"Twenty hours!" Scout proclaimed in delight. He prepared to rush off to find Demoman, but he was suddenly struck with a conundrum. "But wait; was it twenty hours military time or twenty hours from now? Dammit, now I can't remember!"

"Honestly, Mate, can you keep it down for five seconds?" Sniper's voice came from outside on the deck. Scout fumbled about in the room, attempting to find something to calm him down. Hey, maybe Sniper could relay the message in Scout's stead. The young man was still squirming where he stood when the Australian moved in from his deck. He stopped when he got a good look at the young man. Scout's eyes were wide with fear of ridicule, and he opened his mouth to speak…

…Sniper beat him to it, "Ya need a cold shower, Mate?"

Scout blinked. Was THAT how he got rid of that? Man, would have helped him out a lot of other times when he was younger. "…Sounds like a plan…! Sniper, could you tell Demoman something?" Sniper really hoped that it wasn't a size that Demoman needed to know. "The ladies' leader wants to meet him at twenty hours. C-can you tell him that?"

Sniper blinked at the sudden information, and he opened his mouth to ask where the kid had gotten that info, but he finally gave up and sighed. "Sure I can, Mate."

"And… you won't tell anyone about…"

Sniper interrupted with a shake of his head. "Not a soul."

Scout looked a little happy at the news, and he immediately rushed off, waddling quickly to the showers. The Australian shook his head as he left to talk with Demoman about what Scout had mentioned; honestly, children and their fantasies…

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It took a little coaxing, but Sniper was able to get Demoman and Soldier back in the base instead of raging at the Demo(wo)man who was taunting them across the booby trapped bridge. There was no sign of Heavy around, but Sniper could care less; all he had to do was relay Scout's message to their leader.

"Twenty hours?" Demoman asked after everything had been said. Sniper shrugged and didn't reply, "Where'dya get this info?"

"Scout asked me to tell you. Honestly, I can't think of where he coulda gotten it."

"You think he met their Spy?" Soldier said, "I bet that slimy maggoty girl snuck in here to feed thoughts of dissention among the ranks!"

Demoman hiccupped softly. "What I wanna know is… is it twenty o' or twenty hours from now?"

"I zeriously doubt it vould be twenty hourz from now; zat vould be four in zee mornink." The three men looked up at Medic, who had finally reappeared since he disappeared in frustration not thirty minutes before. He smiled sinisterly at what he said next: "zee vomen need zeir beauty sleep, right? Zey vant to meet tonight, zen."

"Sounds aboot right, now then, we should…"

"Uff, Herr Demoman?" Medic said. The leader didn't like the fact that he was being interrupted, but he tended to understand that when Medic interrupted someone, it was for good reason.

Of course, he only understood so when he was slightly sober.

Medic sighed when he finally got the attention he needed, and prepared himself for what he needed to say, "Our Zpy's out of commission."

Demoman raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"He vent over zere vitout your consent and vhen he returned he fell into a coma. I vould be vary of zese vomen. Zey are not who zey appear to be…"

Demoman gave a laugh. "What, Medic? Yer afraid o' a few lettel girls?"

"I am vary of potentially vicked enemiez. Vee should not trust zem."

Sniper shrugged. "Well, if you're so fearful of our leader's well being…"

Soldier coughed into his hand with a smirk.

"…Then you should go with him during the treaty making."

"It's the front lines all ovah again, eh, Bitch?" Demoman said, laughing uproariously.

Medic seethed, but took a deep breath. "I zought I told you not to call me zat."

"You'll follow me anyhoo," Demoman replied, motioning for Medic to follow him. "Git ovah here, Bitch." The German twitched lightly, but he snapped his heels against one another and followed the Scotsman through the base so they could prepare for that evening.

Soldier smirked from under his helmet. "Got that medic wrapped around his finger. Wonder how long they've been goin' at it."

"They've been at each other's throats since day one," Sniper said. "You keep those jokes up, and yer likely ta have cyanide in yer drink like the last Soldier we had."

Soldier stared blankly at Sniper as the Australian sauntered back to his normal nest.

To Be Continued...

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I dunno what to say here. Hope you enjoyed it.