READ ON!

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Somewhere in the BLU compound, a woman wandered through the base ever so carefully. She grasped her hardhat in fear when she heard a man shout obscenities directed at some spy or another. It was somewhere else in the base, however, and she really didn't care much either way. She didn't care much for Spies, so she hoped that she wouldn't be running into them. She just wanted to… Oh, there it was!

RED's Engineer knocked on the door and was met with an almost angry reply: "Scout, I told ya, I ain't in the mood! Find someone else ta learn from, ya hear?"

"Uhm… excuse me…" The ranting on the other side stopped when the woman spoke. She opened the door and peeked into the workshop. "Am I interruptin' summin, darlin'?"

BLU's Engineer stared at the woman. "Darlin'?"

"Oh, sorry, I just…" She blushed lightly from embarrassment. "Ev'ryone's 'darlin'' ta me, ya know?"

The man shrugged. Something about her was sort of off putting, but she was dressed as an Engineer and he hoped to god that she had the smarts to back it up. He turned to her by twirling in his swivel chair. "So what do ya want, lil' missy?" he asked, trying to be hospitable with a woman in his workshop.

"I was just… you know…" the female engineer shrugged lightly and walked forward. "I was just thinkin' about 'nother Engineer. It's been so long since I had someone halfway intelligent ta talk ta, ya know?"

He couldn't help but smile at what she said, "I guess I do."

"Ahh!" The woman gasped at what BLU's Engineer was working on just behind him. She peered over his shoulder and smiled at what she saw. "Yer workin' on summin, aincha, darlin'?"

The man chuckled lightly under his breath as he turned back to his blueprints, "Yup, I'm thinkin' about a new model fer mah sentreh. 'm thinkin' o' addin' a bit of summin heah ta…"

"Uh huh, uh huh…" The woman peered over the man's shoulder and nodded her head sagely as she studied the schematics. "Wow, and that'll definitely improve the Sentreh Mechanicel Firin' Device! Yer really up fer improvin' others' work, aincha?"

"Others'?" Engineer said, laughing out loud, "Lady, I designed version one point zero! And one point five, and two point zero, and two point one (had a minor bug ta tweak there)! This beaut' 'ere's version two point six!"

"Amazin'! I'm standin' in the presence o' one o' my heroes!" The woman placed her hands on her hips and lifted her hardhat slightly so she could see him better. The man swelled with pride and smiled brightly as he worked on his schematic. "Well, I'll be darned, yer older'n I imagined!"

And his ego promptly deflated again. He cleared his throat with a firm cough and attempted to sound like he hadn't gotten punched in the gut. "n' that's why I got mah sentreh ta take care o' me. These ol' bones ain't what they use ta be."

"Reckon yer right, ol' timer."

Engineer had half a mind to give her a wrench to the face, but he hunkered down and did his work. The younger woman looked over his shoulder and continued to watch him as he worked his schematic. Her eyes were studying it, and BLU's Engineer found that for some reason, the hair on the back of his neck was standing on end.

Just who was this RED Engineer…?

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There was a knock on the door to the medical ward, and BLU's Medic twitched lightly when he heard it. He turned and hissed at the door. "Scout, I am tired ov your ztupidity; leave me alone for vahnce in your life!"

The door opened without a word, and Medic tensed. Since when did he allow RED's Soldier to enter his ward? He stood up forcefully and growled at the woman. "Fraulein, I vill not tolerate your prezence here. Leave. Now."

"How's your Spy doing?" the female soldier demanded.

"Vat do YOU care?" Medic shouted, "Get out ov here, I vill not let you in here az long az I can help it!"

The woman suddenly grabbed the German's uniform and dragged him around. Medic took a sharp intake of air as he felt himself slam into the wall next to the medical ward's exit. He gasped at the female soldier through glasses that sat askew on his nose, and he became incredibly uncomfortable when she pressed her large forearm across his chest and leaned close to him. "You can't help it now, can you, Maggot?"

Medic immediately ran through the various serums that were on his person at that moment. He took a deep breath, and opened his mouth, "I… can't very vell breathe, you know."

She slammed her other hand on the wall next to his head, and she smiled through knitted eyebrows. "Can't very well have you dead, can we? We have a truce, you know."

Medic growled and bared his teeth, trying to look as intimidating as he could. "I vould zay you are breachink it at zis very moment, schweinhund."

Soldier laughed loudly, making Medic even more uncomfortable. Was this woman intimidated by nothing? He was a man, after all! One of his hands snuck slowly to his pack as she laughed aloud; he just hoped he would pull the right narcotic out… "Oh no, you 'man', this isn't a breach of a truce!"

She moved quickly; quicker than most soldiers Medic had fought against. Her arm was off of his chest, but it grasped his stray hand and lifted it up to his head with a sinister smile. "No, I'd say that trying to poison me would be a fine breach…"

"Release me…!" Where was his saw? This wasn't looking so well, but he'd be damned if he didn't fight her with every ounce of his strength! "Let me go, filthy schweinhund!"

Her hand left the wall and drew back. Medic gasped and struggled to free himself from her hold on him. Soldier's fist connected to his jaw, and he was sent sprawling. She let go of his hand and watched as he crumpled to the floor, grabbing for his glasses as well as his injured face. He attempted to rise to his hands and knees, but a firm boot to his back ensured that he stayed firmly on the floor. "How's the floor tastin', Nazi Bastard?"

"Dummkopf! I vas in zee French Foreign Legion! I FOUGHT zee Nazis!" Medic gagged when she leaned on her foot, effectively crushing his lungs a second time. "F-f- you schwein…!"

"You know, I came here to see if your Spy was at least awake. I wanted to make sure he paid for his little fun with our Scout. She didn't do anything to him, but he groped her like she was a little harlot!" Medic gasped in pain as she ground her foot between his shoulder blades. "She has a boyfriend out there somewhere that she's been saving herself for and your spy had the GALL to be the first one to touch her? There is no justice in this world!"

"Va-haaahhhh…" Medic gasped, his hands flailing in a poor attempt to fight back.

Soldier would not be deterred. Her rage was billowing the more she spoke; spittle flew from her mouth as she continued. "…And here you are, you filthy pile of rat refuse! You're protecting his yellow bellied HIDE. You're just as bad as him! NO. You're WORSE."

"Get… ofv…!"

"I wanted to beat the living daylights out of that maggot a second time, but you know what? You'll be just as good!"

Medic didn't want to show it, but he was getting scared. There had been times when he had gotten into scrapes like this, but he was always near someone who could help him out of tough times. He had never really been alone during battles; this was the first time he had ever been really alone! Everyone else had left the base; it was only he and Spy. He racked his brain. There must be others in here! There MUST be! "Zpy… Zpy…!" If there was any time for him to wake up dramatically and mysteriously help fight off the woman despite being horribly wounded, it was now.

"What's that? You're not 'man' enough to fight your own battles? Gotta have some unconscious sack of crap to do it for you? Just what I expected from a MALE."

Engineer! Oh, thank the heavens, he remembered that BLU's Engineer didn't want to leave the base and was still in his workshop. He tried to remember how Scout always got Engineer's attention. Oh, yes! That was it! "Zee dispenser goes HEAH, Zee dispenser goes HEAH!"

---

Meanwhile, in BLU's Engineer's workshop, the two engineers worked and talked, until something made the man twitch. It was a shout that implied that Engineer couldn't do his job correctly. It was a shout that made him angry as all hell. "What in tarnation could the doc be yellin' about?"

"What're ya talkin' about, ol' timer?" The younger, female engineer shrunk back at the older man's glare. "I mean, darlin'?"

"It means if I ever want some peace 'n' quiet, I bettah git ovah there." He stood up and stretched a bit. He moved to the door, and stopped. The female engineer hadn't moved from her spot. "Ya comin'?"

"Oh! Of course!" She nodded and turned around, "I just… lemme grab my wrench. I left it somewhere 'round here…"

Engineer frowned, but Medic's insistent shouting made him groan and rush towards the medical ward. "Swear ta all that's good 'n' holy, if theah's not a conflabbin'ly GREAT reason fer 'is shoutin', Mmma beat 'im like a rented mule!"

"Comin', darlin'!" The woman arrived at his side as they rushed to the medical ward. The two could hear a struggle inside, and Engineer feared that there was an actual reason for Medic's call. Well, whenever Medic spoke there was almost always a good reason to do it; the Texan suddenly felt a little guilty for doubting the German. The two opened the door to the ward, and the female engineer gave a cry of disbelief.

"Solly!" The battle in the ward immediately stopped at the female Engineer's cry, and both RED's Soldier and BLU's Medic looked up at the two newcomers. The woman was covered in deep cuts that had been given to her by the broken medicine bottle in Medic's hand. Conversely, the Medic had various bruises, a split lip, and his head was being smashed into one of his counters by Soldier. "Solly, wut in God's green earth 'r you doin'?"

"Solly" shoved roughly on Medic's head for good measure, and she stepped back a few steps with her hands on her hips. "Filthy maggot started it."

"Started it!?" Medic practically screeched, stumbling to stay standing against the counter. His head was a fog; she had struck him in the head so many times, it was a wonder he was still conscious. He wondered if she had giving him a concussion. "You… Schweinhund…!"

The female Engineer held her hand to her mouth with an "oh my". "Oh Solly, we'll needta get ya ta Medic. Yer all cut up!"

"She needz medical attention!?" Medic cried, "Vat about me!"

"Suck it up, Maggot!" Soldier shouted in retort.

"Calm down theah, Doc," BLU's Engineer said, walking up to the German and supporting him with a sigh, "I'll git ya a med kit Eh Ess Eh Pee. Just wut happened heah?"

The two immediately pointed at each other and screeched that it was the other who assaulted them first. The engineers sighed. "Look, Spah's still sleepin'…"

Soldier growled. "…Hope he never wakes up!"

"…'N' we're both tired o' ya two shoutin' all thah time. Just… make sure she doesn't come back heah, got it?"

RED's Engineer smiled and nodded. "You heah that, Solly? Yer undah house arrest!"

"Filthy lying yellow bellied MAGGOT!!" Soldier shouted as the female engineer drew her from the room. The shouting and cursing continued for a while, until she was completely out of earshot. Medic struggled to stand on his own, but Engineer held him tightly so he didn't hurt himself.

"No one's here, Doc. Just take it easy."

"Eazy… iz eazy for you to zay…"

Engineer chuckled as he led the German to a chair and set him down. He then turned to work on finding something for Medic to heal himself with. "So, what happened?"

"Zee harpy appeared from nowhere and attacked me for protectink our Zpy."

Engineer shrugged as he brought the pack down from a cabinet. "There a reason we're protectin' thah yellah bellied bastard?"

Medic frowned visibly. "Engineer!"

"I got it, I got it, but ya know, I ain't gunna stick up fer 'im. Old habits die hard, 'm guessin'."

Medic shook his head as Engineer brought him the medicine, and he began to operate on himself. "For you az vell as I, I vould zay."

"Right right. 'ey Doc, you alright here on yer own?"

"Az long az zee little Texan keeps zat monster on her zide of zee bridge," Medic replied. He tugged fiercely on the bandage that wrapped around his arm, as if the mere thought of the woman made him angry.

"Imma head back ta mah workshop, then. Ya'll take care o' yerselves, a'aight?"

"Right." Medic continued his first aid, and Engineer stood and stared at the German. Finally, the Texan sighed and began to leave. "Engineer?" Engineer blinked when he heard Medic speak, and he turned around to face the doctor. Medic smiled faintly at the man. "Danke, for your help, my hard hatted friend."

Engineer chuckled and smiled back. "Just doin' a service fer thah team." He opened the door and was gone.

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I don't even know. I'm tired and bleh.

Hopefully it's good.