HEY GUYS. I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys about my trip. I went to the Colorado Mountains and then I went to my new dorm in Texas. TEXAS. Which is funny because it's an engineer's university. I am surrounded by male Texan Engineers.

LE LOL? I dunno.

Anyway, it's short, but I wanted the next part to be really gaspworthy, so READ ON!

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BLU's Medic awoke abruptly from his sleep at the side of BLU Spy's bed. The med bay door was being pounded on, and he could distinctly hear BLU Engineer's voice. He sounded so angry… "Comink, Engineer… vat could be zee matter?" The German opened the door, and cried out as the Texan barreled into the room.

"Confound it! Did I leave it in here?" Engineer moaned, searching through the places he had been before. Medic watched him with surprise as he messed around the med bay and turned back to the German. "Did I leave anything in here, Doc? Any blueprints?"

"I haven't seen anyzink of yourz today. Iz somezink zee matter?"

"Somethin' tha matter? Doc, it's GONE. The prints 'r gone an' I ain't got any idea o' where they are. What coulda happened?"

Medic placed his chin in his latex glove and thought for a moment. "I honestly have no idea. Vere could zey have gone…?" He turned and his eyes widened at the unconscious man in the bed. "Engineer, you zink by yourself for a moment. Spy? Spy, are you avake?" He moved to inspect the man, whose gloveless finger was twitching lightly.

"Doggone it," Engineer muttered to himself, "what coulda happened? It was right there when I left! It couldn'ta just up an' left, could it?"

"I don't know, I don't know much about your items… Spy, vake up, pleaze." Medic waited for Spy to awaken, but nothing happened. He sighed and suddenly realization hit him. He turned to Engineer with a thoughtful frown. "Engineer… who vas vit you zat time? It vas zat ozer engineer, ja?"

The Texan blinked from behind his goggles and turned to Medic. "Ya don't think… she mighta… I didn't see nothin' on her…"

"Zat iz all I can zink ov."

"Yeah, but yer all 'girls are creepier than a one eyed snake', so yer biased."

"I… wouldn't say that…" The two immediately whirled and faced the bed where Spy was waking up from. The European was attempting to sit up, but Medic had suddenly become very paternal.

"Stay down, you fool." He practically shoved Spy back down on the bed, and the man glared at Medic.

"I am fine, mon ami."

"Not unless I zay zo. Stay down."

Engineer was immediately on the other side of the bed, glowering at the Spy and demanding answers. "What were ya'll sayin', Spy? Summin' about the gals? Tell me!"

Spy lifted his hand and placed it on his forehead with a sigh. "Bah, my 'ead is swimming. Let me… take a moment…"

Engineer hardly ever seemed like the type to get angry, but with his blueprints on the line, he immediately raised his hand as if to backhand the European. "Ya'll talkin' 'bout the girls 'n' mah missin' papers 'n' you've been DEAD this whole time, so start talkin'!"

"Engineer, you vill not backhand my patientz. It iz…"

"The girls are insane. What do you call it…" Spy rubbed his balaclava and grumbled. He turned to Engineer and snapped his fingers. "Batshit."

"Ya'll 'r batshit, tell me summin' ah don't know."

"They're… not women. All of them, it is like they are really men. We 'ave been underestimating them. We think we should confront them like women, but we must..."

"Confront?" Medic asked, "You believe vee should…"

"G'day, Mates!" The three men whirled to face the sniper and pyro who were waving at them. Sniper was holding his arm around Pyro's shoulders and his other arm was clutching his side. Since when did Sniper EVER go into the med bay, anyway? "It was real quiet and I heard ya all shoutin' so I came to see ya."

"Vat happened to…" Medic stopped, and then the turned ever so slightly to the side, and his eyes widened. The RED intelligence was strapped to Sniper's back. "V…Vat is zat!?"

"Wha?" Sniper looked at his back, and then he remembered why his side was splitting and his legs were screaming at him. "Oh yeah, got the intel."

"WHAT." Spy sat straight up and stared at the Australian. "Th… that is… 'ow did you…"

Sniper smiled and winked at the European. "Always have a plan, Mate."

"This is not possible," Spy said, dropping back down on the bed and checking his temperature. "This cannot be possible."

Engineer was too busy beaming with happiness at Spy's expense to care what Medic wanted to know. "Vell zen, vat vas in it?"

Sniper answered as Pyro helped him into a seat in the ward. "Plans, orders, the usual," he muttered, stretching his legs out and cursing under his breath. "The sheilas are plannin' on killin' us all."

Sniper was expecting at least a gasp, but everyone shrugged with an "Eh". Apparently they already were expecting it, which wasn't that hard to assume, seeing as how they were the only ones here and not over there having sex with them. There was silence for a moment, and Pyro spoke up. "Mmph mmmphphmmph?"

"I zuppoze Pyro iz right," Medic said with a sigh, "Who'z ready for a preemptive strike?"

Pyro's and Engineer's hands shot up immediately. Spy was still pouting a little ways away, and Sniper was cursing at his legs.

Medic frowned and began making orders, as Demoman wasn't around to pull rank on him. "If you vould, Sniper, vould you ztay here und protect zee papers?"

"When can I not? Damn this hurts… How does that kid do it?"

The German turned to the Texan. "Zen Engineer vill accompany you in zee basement."

"What 'r' you talkin' about, Doc?" Engineer asked immediately, "I ain't gunna stay 'ere when mah baby's out there!"

"Engineer, zey are only blueprintz. Pyro, Spy and I vill…"

"I ain't trustin' NOTHIN' withat godanged SPAH," he shouted, pointing at the European for good measure. Spy flipped the Texan off while reapplying his gloves. "I'm goin' wit ya!"

"Zat is…"

"Nothin'! I'll set up in them there sewers. We can send teleports back here in case things get hairy. It's a legitimate plan, Doc." He glared defiantly at the doctor, sounding a whole lot more like Soldier than usual (although it wasn't surprising. Everyone had learned a bit about intimidation from the guy). "You will not sit me back here!"

"But vat about Sniper? He iz not fully…"

"'ey, Mate," Sniper said. Every eye was on him, and he shrugged. "Ya'll know how ta lock this place up? I'll hole up in here 'till ya'll return."

Medic opened his mouth to deny him the option, but he stopped. He sighed and rubbed his temples. "If I vind even VAHN zink gone…"

"I ain't no pill popper. It ain't the style of a professional."

The German glared at Sniper. "Pray to the organz zat I haven't ztolen zat zuch iz zee case." He then turned to the others and motioned for them to follow. "Come, vee vill meet zem from zee sewerz."

The other three saluted their second-in-command and followed after him obediently. Sniper frowned and continued rubbing his legs, when suddenly it hit him. "Wait… which organs have you stolen, anyway!?"

But the four were already gone.

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Hope you guys enjoyed it, and I hope I didn't lose too many of you. I updated RED Vs BLU and I saw that most of you have either forgotten about me or could care less now.

Either way, review and tell me what I can do to improve! Telling me you want bigger, longer chapters is good enough for me. Thanks in advance!