Epilogue

The first thing John was aware of was the lack of pain.

It's about damned time, he thought with relief.

The pain had been so intense for so long, he was almost giddy from the lack of it. He swallowed and shifted, then his shoulder wound awoke, reminding him his injury was still there, but it wasn't stealing aware his body's resources as much as it had been before. He put a hand to his shoulder.

"Easy, Colonel," he heard Carson say as he moved John's hand away from his shoulder. "I'm not about to have you undo all of my hard work."

John frowned and forced his eyelids open. Carson's face loomed in his field of vision and he started to say something, but hissed with discomfort.

"Oh, will you look at the time," Carson said, admonishing himself. "I apologize, Colonel! It's way past time for your pain medication. I'll be just a moment."

John watched him leave and his eyelids started to droop closed. He remembered the pain he'd felt from the others and let his good hand start at his ribs, then his wrist and hand. The other sources of pain were gone. He was glad about that, but he felt a little lonesome at the same time.

He heard whispering nearby. He fought his eyelids for control and almost lost the battle until he heard McKay call out his name. "Sheppard?"

John opened his eyes to find Teyla, Ronon, and Rodney congregated around his bed. When had they arrived? With their presence, his loneliness faded away. "Hi, guys," he croaked with a grin and a slight wave of his fingers.

"Yes, he is finally awake. It's about damned time," Rodney said as he looked at Teyla and Ronon. "Well, it is," he added. "Granted an infection and surgery might be a valid excuse for most people, but then I'm not most people. So, Colonel, what do you have to say for yourself?"

John started to shrug but stopped himself in time. That would have been an incredibly stupid thing to do, especially since his shoulder had begun to throb. Teyla stepped forward and gave him a spoonful of ice chips, for which he was very grateful.

Trying to sound as much like Rodney as he could, John rasped, "I'm sorry, you must be mistaking me for someone who has been awake for more than five minutes. Give me a break."

Ronon bopped Rodney on the back of the head and said, "Behave yourself."

"What? I didn't say anything John hasn't heard from me before."

John was about to respond with some snarky comment when he moved the wrong way and hissed with discomfort. "Are you all right, John?" Teyla asked, moving closer.

"Where is Carson?" Rodney asked with exasperation as he looked around. "The man is never around when you really need him."

John shook his head. "He went to get me something for the pain. Don't worry. He'll be back in a minute."

Ronon frowned. "Are you sure you're up to a visit? We can leave if you – "

John moved the hand that had been cradling his shoulder and put it out toward the others. "No," he said a little too emphatically. "I don't want you to leave. It's good to see you again."

Teyla patted his arm. "As it is good to see you, too. We have been here several times while you were recovering – "

Rodney waved a hand in the air. "Yes, yes, about that. I want to lodge a complaint. It seems you've been diverting all of our medical personnel away from their more pressing patients... like me."

He held up his wrist to show John his cast, then continued talking. "Ronon, Teyla, Zelenka, Carson, and Woolsey have all signed it, along with other adoring fans. I think there might be a little spot in the back end that isn't written on yet – very magnanimous for me to offer you a space, considering it took them forever to get around to doing my cast, though, because of you – no matter that I was suffering a great deal.

"Everyone was more concerned in dealing with yours and Teyla's surgeries. Then there was Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee who also needed attention. I repeat, this infirmary really needs to reorganize their priorities."

"McKay... " Ronon warned.

Rodney stopped. "Well, I was just bringing him up to speed. He's been out of it and needs to know – "

"Stop talking," Ronon growled.

John glanced over at Teyla, who had an amused expression on her face. She was wearing an arm sling and her hand was heavily bandaged, but she seemed to be dealing with her pain well enough.

John's memories flashed back to their time in the Ancient installation and how Teyla's delicate features had been pale and taut with pain then. Now, she was smiling and joking with the rest of her team. It was a very good thing to see.

"You didn't mind my talking when I was saving your life," Rodney mumbled rather defensively.

Ronon grinned, his feigned bad disposition gone in an instant, and he smiled. "I told you that you'd get us out and you did. Just stop talking so much. It gets annoying after a while."

Rodney coughed and said, "Yeah, as if tall, dark, and intimidating can't get on a person's nerves, too."

John frowned in confusion. It took him another moment to realize he had no sense of what was going on for the others emotionally or about what pain they were feeling. He reached out with one hand and glanced up at McKay. He had to be pretty out of it not to know earlier on that their bonded connection was gone. "You were able to reverse the bonding process?"

Rodney frowned and appeared irked by John's question. He shook his head. "No, not exactly."

He glanced at the others, then back at John. "After extensive searches in the Ancient database, I found nothing to indicate the proper course of action, but then we discovered there really wasn't anything that needed to be done. The bonding just faded away after a day or so."

John sighed in relief, but then his eyes widened. "A day or so? How long have I been in here?"

Carson walked back into the room. "Over forty-eight hours. I was beginning to worry about you when you woke up on your own. Sorry to take so long. We had a minor emergency with Chuck. Some mishap with his computer. He came in with fairly nasty blisters on his fingers. Jennifer's seeing to him now."

He motioned toward Ronon and Rodney for them to move aside. "Excuse me just a moment so I can get to the colonel's IV port and give him this analgesic."

Ronon and Rodney stepped aside to give Carson passage. When he was done, Carson disposed of the syringe, then turned back to the others.

"I have been reading your mission report, Rodney, and I have to say I find the whole subject of the Soul Drinkers quite fascinating."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure, it's easy to be fascinated when you aren't scared to death about when the next waking dream is going to strike. Just be glad you didn't experience it firsthand. Trust me, rummaging around inside Ronon's head is enough to send a sane man running for the hills."

Teyla shrugged. "I do not know about that, Rodney. In retrospect, I found the Soul Drinkers were really soul feeders, because of the many insights I gained while being bonded with all of you."

Rodney grunted. "Yeah, right, Soul Feeders. Teyla, only you could take something as nightmarish as the Mordiis and turn it into a positive experience."

John smirked. "You could take a lesson from her," he said playfully.

Teyla continued, "Think about it, Rodney. Something must have remained in each of us, some part of the bonding process. We have kept a steady vigil at John's bedside until his fever went down, even sleeping here as we took turns sitting up with John. We have shared every meal. We have rarely been apart since returning to Atlantis."

Teyla straightened and let her gaze drift across to include all of them. "I believe it must be some aftereffect of the bonding process. One would think after sharing so much time with another person's thoughts and emotions, they would want nothing to do with one another for a long while afterward, but as you know, we rarely follow the norm."

"Whatever," Rodney said with a shrug. He made a face. Then something shifted and he looked at Carson with a questioning expression. "I've been meaning to ask you. What did you find in your analysis of the powders the Ionini carry around with them? Any hint that they actually did help or not?"

Carson shrugged. "I haven't really had a chance to do much of an analysis what with everything that has been going on, but my initial tests do show the powders contained elements that might have the capacity to offset the type of electrical changes the Mordiis cause in a person's brain, especially as the Mordiis fed. Plus, I found a couple of references in the Ancients' database you downloaded that supports that theory."

"Son of a bitch," Rodney said, "I thought it was just some Ionini mumbo jumbo."

John yawned and felt the pain medication begin to take effect. He knew he wouldn't be awake for long. His thoughts wandered for a moment as he listened to Carson and Rodney bicker with an occasional comment tossed in by Ronon.

"Seriously, Carson, this abuse is from a man who, according to you, likes to spoil me. Man, did you ever get that wrong!"

"All I said was.... "

Shaking his head, John asked Teyla, who was still at his side, "What happened with Tiebin and Tierab?"

Teyla smiled. "Carson treated Tierab's wound and discharged him yesterday. They are both doing well and their community is in the midst of a great celebration. Rodney has their irrigation system back to its full operating capacity."

Rodney stopped arguing with Ronon and Carson when he heard Teyla's comment. He puffed out his chest and chuffed. "Full operating capacity? Hell, no, I improved on the original design and got them even better coverage for their crops."

Ronon said, "They've promised to give us a portion of their crops every harvest."

"That's nice," John said with a yawn. "That's real nice. Glad to hear it."

Ronon added, "They want to have some sort of presentation when you're up and around again."

Rodney grunted. "I almost forgot that I had fixed the damned thing in the midst of everything else that was going on."

John smiled and said, "See, McKay, that's what happens when you keep things in their proper perspective and think positively."

Rodney gave John a murderous glare. "After spending a day feeling what I feel on a regular basis, you can actually say that with a straight face?"

John grunted, then nodded. "You've got a good point, but I really think it's something you could pull off more frequently if you practiced."

Rodney turned to Carson. "Run him under the scanner again. I think there's something seriously wrong with his head."

"Nothing a little R&R won't cure," Carson said with a smile. "Now, the lot of you leave and let the colonel here get some decent rest."

Rodney made a face. "You know, you really have a ego complex when it comes to your territory, don't you? Issuing orders like you were a general directing his troops. It's all very irritating," Rodney said with a wave of his hand.

"Remember to be nice, Rodney, or else I'll make you wear that cast longer than you need to," Carson said sweetly as he passed by him.

Rodney's expression was classic as he said, "Oh, that's low, even for you!"

Rodney protested, but soon Carson had whooshed them out of the room. Carson came back and patted him on the forearm. "Okay, just close your eyes and go back to sleep. That's the best thing for you right now."

John nodded, his eyelids already half closed. "Thanks, Carson," he said with another yawn.

Carson walked out of the room and it suddenly felt a little lonely in there all alone like he was. John closed his eyes and tried to reach out with his senses to see if he could pick up anything from the others, but he couldn't, not even on a gut level, and his sense of loneliness grew.

John remembered how helpless he had felt battling against the waking dreams the Mordiis' influence had induced and how it could have caused madness, or worse, death. They'd been pretty lucky, all things considered. He tried to reach out to them one last time, just to be sure, but somewhere in the midst of trying, he realized it was pointless. The bonding was truly gone.

A small part of him missed the special awareness he had of his teammates – but then again they all knew each other so well by now, they didn't really need any psychic connection to know what the others were thinking.

So, he lay there with his quiet, peaceful, and solitary thoughts. Soon, his weariness and the drugs won out and he fell back asleep.

oOoOoOoOo

The End