Author's note:
For Pretty Crazy. Erm .. sorry about the delay. You all know how hard it is for me to write this.
"Post-delivery, Jenny developed disseminated intravascular coagulation. DIC ."
Gibbs felt his eyes start to glaze over as he tried to focus on what the doctor was saying. His eyes kept straying to the glass panelling between Jenny's room and the corridor, even if all he could see between the shoulders of the medical staff was a swathe of red hair.
"The rapid loss of blood was secondary to the failure of the muscles of her uterus to contract after your daughter was born," the doctor droned on. "We did try Ergometerine and some other meds to stimulate the uterine muscles, but our attempts to stop the bleeding were unsuccessful and it became necessary to surgically intervene to save her life. I am sorry, but we did have to proceed with the hysterectomy."
Gibbs' head snapped back at that.
"We have given her four units of blood and her last haemoglobin was stable. We will, however, need to watch her closely for the next twenty-four hours for signs of bleeding. We will, of course, check her blood work to be sure that her clotting factors have normalized. She still may be at risk for a blood clot or other complications."
Gibbs nodded. Unbidden, his thoughts reverted back to Kelly's birth again. It had been a long but uncomplicated labour, and they'd been sent home after two days. He and Shannon had transitioned into parenthood together; every inch the proud but inexperienced parents. Looking down at the child in his arms he felt a fierce wave of protectiveness in her regard as he realised just how close she'd come to becoming another statistic in this sea of sterility. He tightened his grip on her as the doctor started to speak again.
"It's been an ordeal, but you do have a healthy baby girl. Encourage her to interact with the baby as much as she can. She'll be tired, but it will be good for both your wife and your daughter to bond. I'm on my way in to speak with her now, although I do have to say I don't want to burden her with too many details at this point."
All the weight that had settled on Gibbs' shoulders lifted the moment he walked into the room. Jenny's eyes ran over him once and then settled on her daughter. Her eyes widened and lit up – making the pain and exhaustion lining her face dissipate. Clearly the nurses had prepared her for the baby's arrival, because she was propped up and looking alert. She smiled at Gibbs as he placed the child in the crook of her arm, and ran a finger delicately over her features.
As she looked down at her daughter the sense of awe at what she'd borne clashed with the feeling of ownership and responsibility, and for a moment fear that she wouldn't be able to go the distance alone threatened to overwhelm her. Out of the corner of her eye she caught the concerned expression on the doctor's face, and suddenly fear of a different kind reared its ugly head.
"Is she .." she began.
"She's fine, Jen," Gibbs said as he caressed the baby's head.
"The baby's strong and healthy," the doctor said, "but you gave us quite the scare after the delivery. The muscles in your uterus refused to contract and continued to bleed. You were losing more blood and we did have to do surgery. We'll have you on the mend soon and ready to take care of that little one, though."
"Surgery?"
The doctor shifted his gaze from Jenny to Jethro and then back to Jenny before ploughing on.
"We'll talk about all of that later. The important thing now is that you're doing much better. And I know this young lady has been asking for her mother."
On cue, Imogen yawned and grasped Jen's finger.
"I'll leave you to get to know each other. If you have any questions have any of the nurses page me," the doctor said as he turned to leave. "Unusual name by the way. Haven't heard that one in a long time."
Jen looked at Gibbs as soon as the doctor had gone.
"You named her?"
There was no anger in her voice, only curiosity.
"It was touch and go for a while there, Jen," Gibbs said as he shuffled his feet. "I didn't want her to be called Baby Shepard."
"Dare I ask what you chose?" she asked with a tired smile.
"Imogen."
The tears she'd been holding at bay came tumbling down her cheeks as she pulled the baby up and pressed a kiss to her cheek.
"My mother was called Imogen," she mumbled against her soft skin. When she looked at Jethro her smile was more pronounced, although no less tired. "You did good."
"So did you," he replied with a smile of his own as he looked fondly at both of them and laid his hand on the baby's head again.
The moment of bonding between the three of them stretched until a nurse walked into the room.
"Ready to try breastfeeding her?" she asked with a broad smile on her face.
Jen's eyes widened again as the woman showed her how to hold the baby.
"We just need to stimulate reflex for both of you and get things moving. How tired are you feeling?"
"Not very."
The nurse looked her up and down.
"Mr. Shepard ..." she said, after she'd looked appraisingly at Jen for a long moment and drawn her gown down, "maybe you can sit on one side and help?"
She exchanged a meaningful look with Gibbs; one he understood immediately. He perched on the side of the bed. Following the nurse's cues, he put an arm around Jen's shoulders and watched, mesmerised, as the baby very clearly began rooting for a breast.
"You don't have any milk yet," the nurse explained, "but you do have colostrum. It's full of calories and antibodies and helps to build the baby's immune system. It isn't produced in big quantities, but your baby's tummy is only about the size of a walnut anyway. Your milk should come in around day three. When that happens your breasts may feel warm and hard because they're really full. But that should settle down once feeding is established."
Jenny nodded and focused on the way the woman was encouraging the baby to latch on.
"In this hospital we like to encourage the breastfeeding triad," the nurse continued. "Mother, baby, and father. Although you can't feed the baby," she said to Gibbs, "your support and encouragement can help make the early learning period of breastfeeding easier and more enjoyable for mother and baby. She smiled approvingly as she took in the way Gibbs was rubbing Jen's shoulders.
He watched as the baby struggled, and felt Jenny tense beneath this fingertips.
"This isn't working," she said in frustration, and obviously near tears again.
"It will," the nurse said sympathetically. "You just need to keep at it."
Unexpectedly Gibbs bristled; his thoughts on Shannon trying unsuccessfully to breastfeed Kelly. He remembered the two months of self-recrimination and tears, and the well-meaning but totally misguided people who'd told her it would work if only she tried harder. It was possible that Jen would fall into the 2-5% bracket of women who couldn't breastfeed for one reason or another, as Shannon had done. He found himself resenting the nurse's tone already - even if he was sure she was just trying to be encouraging – and settled for giving her a death glare.
"We'll try again after you've rested," he said, softening his tone as he applied gentle pressure to Jenny's shoulder.
Daring the nurse to argue.
She didn't.
Jenny chewed on her lower lip and nodded. Raising her head as someone tapped on the door.
"Mrs. Shepard," an orderly said, "your father is in the waiting room. He can come in for a few minutes if you like."
Gibbs felt a different type of tension altogether grip Jenny as she took a deep breath and looked up at him.
"Don't go anywhere," she said without looking up at him.
Gibbs shifted a bit closer to her on the bed.
Donald Mallard had enough experience to know when people needed to talk, and the man sitting beside him was a prime candidate. The waiting room for the intensive care unit was full of sombre and tight-lipped people, and he was feeding off the tension in the room.
"I haven't spoken to her in over six months," Jasper Shepard said with difficulty when the medical examiner continued to look at him.
"Perhaps this will be a way to move forward," Ducky offered gently. "It's amazing what babies can do."
"Perhaps."
"There's something else ..." Ducky surmised.
Jasper paused for a moment before asking, "What kind of a man is he?"
"Jethro?" Ducky's face creased into a small sad smile. "I think you'll have to ask your dau-"
He was saved from having to put him off by a nurse popping her head round the door.
"Family of Jenny Shepard?"
"Here." Jasper rose expectantly from his seat. "Can I see her?"
"Her husband and baby are with her, but you can have a few minutes."
Jenny tugged at the waistband of the baby's woollen pants and her eyes lit up in appreciation.
"How did you convince them to put the diaper on her?"
Gibbs smirked.
"You put it on yourself?" When he nodded she placed a hand on his as it lay idly on his knee, and squeezed it. "Thank you, Jethro."
He angled his head and was about to say something when the door opened again. Instinctively responding to the military air around the man, Gibbs stood – although his handed rested on Jenny's nearest shoulder. For a moment the tension was palpable. And then it faded abruptly as Jasper smiled.
"It's good to meet you, son," he said slowly.
"Sir," Gibbs acknowledged.
"Jenny," her father said as he moved closer and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
The silence stretched between them until Jasper broke it.
"You named her after your mother," he said as he looked lovingly down at the baby in her arms.
"Jethro named her," she said simply, with a smile in the man's direction.
"The man has good taste," Jasper said as he watched Gibbs settle back onto the bed.
They were all staring at each other, unsure what to say, when there was another tap at the door.
"Mr. Shepard .." a nurse said as she entered.
"Yes?" Jasper turned round.
The nurse looked confused for a moment, and then addressed Gibbs.
"There's someone called Anthony on the line. He says he needs to speak to you urgently."
Gibbs nodded and got to his feet.
"Be right back," he said to Jen. Nodding at Jasper on his way out of the room.
The atmosphere in the room shifted fractionally the moment he was gone. The silence stretched again, as Jenny fussed with the baby and Jasper weighed his words very carefully.
"I can hear you thinking," Jen said after a while. "Spit it out before it gags you."
"Who is he, Jenny?" Jasper asked. Careful to keep his tone neutral as he recognised the hostility in hers.
She'd just opened her mouth to reply when Gibbs walked back into the room, his face dark.
"I've been called back to work," he said as he hovered at the side of the bed, clearly reluctant to leave.
"It's alright, Jethro," Jen replied.
But it wasn't. He didn't want to leave. He hesitated for a moment. Feeling Jasper's eyes on him, and oddly unsure how to handle the departure under the scrutiny of an audience. His eyes locked with Jen's, asking the question he was uncomfortable asking out loud.
"We'll be fine," she said with a gentle smile.
She sounded a lot more tired now, Gibbs realised all of a sudden, and he wondered briefly what had been said in his absence.
"You need to get some rest," a voice said. He wasn't surprised when he felt the presence of the nurse in the room with them again. "Visiting time is over for now," she said to Jasper. "You can come back in a few hours if there are no complications."
"What about the baby?" Jen asked.
"She should go back to the nursery. We'll bring her in again after you've rested."
Jasper smiled and extended his arms.
"I'll ta-"
"I'll take her."
Imogen turned her head towards the sound of Gibbs' voice and another wave of protectiveness swept over him.
"Get some rest," he said to Jenny as he lifted the baby from her arms and held her to him. "I'll be back as soon as I can."