Gay Love

Chapter 2 : All The Things Johnny Said

"P-Pony...Can I tell ya somethin'?"

Pony opened his eyes and looked over beside him to Johnny.

"What is it, Johnnycakes?"

Johnny hesitated.

"I...I-I Love ya," He finally admitted.

Pony gave him a weird look.

"I love you too."

Johnny beamed.

"Really,"

Pony smiled.

"Yeah, of course, man."

Johnny leaned down toward his face. Pony's brows furrowed in confusion.

Pony froze when Johnny's lips touched his in a light kiss.

When Johnny pulled away, Pony stared at him wide-eyed.

"J-Johnny...What was that?"

Johnny's wide eyes met Pony's and he began to panic.

"A-A kiss,"

"But, why," Pony asked.

"Ya said, ya loved me too." Johnny answered.

"Yeah, but I thought you meant as a best friend." Pony said.

"Oh." Johnny said quietly, disappointed, sitting up and turning away.

Pony sat up slowly, looking at his friend curiously.

"Do you love me like...Like a boyfriend?"

Silence filled the air and Ponyboy was sure Johnny wasn't going to answer, but was surprised when he finally did.

"Yeah, Ponyboy, I do...I'm sorry, I tried not to, I really did, but you're all I think about and I can't get ya outta my head. I love ya more than anything else in the world. You're very special to me. I've never felt this way. You're the only one who gets me. You're my best friend, my everything."

"Oh, Johnny..." Pony replied breathlessly, cheeks darkening a bit.

He was touched by his best friend's words and he thinks he felt something when Johnny kissed him, but he was confused.

Was he gay? He never thought he was. He never had a girlfriend, but he still liked girls. He liked Cherry Valance and that girl in yellow...Or he thought he did and now he ain't so sure.

Does he love Johnny? He's never thought of Johnny anything, but a best friend. He's never thought of another guy like that.

But, as he thought about it, he realized Johnny got him, even more than Soda did. They didn't even have to talk, all they had to do was look each other, and they knew what the other is thinking. Johnny's always there for him. Johnny meant so much to Ponyboy. He doesn't know what he would do without him.

Johnny's pretty good looking too, long, silky, black, greased hair, big, black, puppy dog eyes, smooth dark skin, and a fragile, slender body.

Pony was so confused.

"Johnny?"

Johnny turned around to face him, meeting his gaze.

Pony searched deep in the depth of his best friend's eyes.

Johnny loved him, he really did love him. He wanted Pony to love him back. He was afraid Pony was going to reject him. He thinks nobody could love him. All his life he's been rejected, abused, and neglected by his parents. All Johnny had ever wanted in life was to feel loved and be loved.

Pony could see all that in his eyes.

Pony was still very confused, but he didn't want Johnny to think he rejected him, so he leant over and kissed him.

Johnny eagerly returned the kiss, wrapping his arms around Pony's neck.

When Pony broke the kiss, he said,

"Give me sometime, because I think I love you, but I ain't sure, ok?"

Johnny had a huge smile on his face. Pony felt proud that he was the one who put it there. Johnny rarely ever smiled.

"Ok."

Pony hasn't seen Johnny in a week, because he needed time alone to think.

He's been going crazy without Johnny. The things Johnny had said to him and the memories of kissing Johnny and how good it felt replayed over and over in his head.

He talked to no one and ran on automatic mode. All he did was think, think about Johnny, that's all he could think about. He felt so lost.

Pony had his brothers and the whole gang worrying about him. He didn't know until one night, when Soda confronted him about it.

Soda wrapped an arm loosely around Pony's waist.

"Pony baby, what's been goin' on with ya? Lately you've been...Distant. Ya haven't been talkin' to anyone or reacting to anythin'. It seems like ya have been runnin' on auto pilot. You're like stuck in one of your daydreams or somethin'. The whole gang is worryin' somethin' awful about ya."

Pony was silent for a while, before he answered in a low whisper,

"Sorry, I didn't mean to worry anyone, I've just been thinking hard and deeply about something."

"About what," Soda asked curiously and concernedly.

Pony hesitated.

Should he tell Soda? Would Soda think he was crazy and throw him in the wacky shack? Would Soda hate him? Would Soda be disgusted and spit on him?

No, this was Soda we were talking about, happy go lucky, sweet, understanding, Sodapop. He would never do anything to hurt, nobody, especially Ponyboy.

Soda and Pony were the closet people in the whole world. They told each other everything, so why couldn't Pony tell Soda that he was gay? Pony trusted Soda with his life, if he could tell anyone, it'd be Soda.

"Someone really close to me told me they loved me and I don't know what to do. I think I love them too, but I ain't so sure. Ever since the day they told me all I think about is them, but it's wrong, no one will accept us, because this kind of love is forbidden in the world."

"Well..." Soda started slowly, kind of confused.

"If ya really love a person then ya should be with them, no matter what. Ya can't control who ya love. Love is love."

Pony smiled.

See, he could always count on Soda.

"So, who is it?" Soda asked curiously.

Pony didn't hesitate to tell Soda that time.

"Johnny."

Silence filled the room.

Pony started to panic when Soda didn't say anything. He turned around to look at him.

His big brown puppy dog eyes were wide, looking at him with shock and disbelief.

When Soda saw the hurt look in his baby brother's eyes, he shook himself from his daze.

"I-I guess, I can see why it'd be Johnny, ya guys were always very close....Closer then any of us had thought." Soda whispered the last part more to himself, then to Pony.

Pony studied Soda; his eyes were darting around the room, looking at anything, but Pony. He was nervous and uncomfortable, this bothered him.

Pony narrowed his eyes.

"And, you're ok with me loving a guy?"

Soda chuckled uneasily, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Of course, like I said, before love is love, right?...It-It was just a shock, ya dig?"

Pony kept his eyes narrowed, staring cautiously at his brother.

'Liar'

Soda took his arm off of Pony and turned around, so his back was facing him.

After a week of not seeing Johnny, Pony thought it was time to confront him about his thoughts and feelings about this whole thing.

He found Johnny at the lot and told him that he needed to talk to him.

They sat across from each other, Indian style, knees touching.

"Johnny I -" Pony paused, sighing deeply.

He grabbed his hands and stared directly into his eyes, making Johnny blush.

"I was totally lost. I never saw you more then a best friend. I thought I liked girls, but you opened my eyes to the truth. You're always there for me, Johnnycakes. You know me even more than Soda does. You mean the entire world to me. This whole week I couldn't think of anyone or anything else, but you, I was going crazy without you." He paused, licking his lips, searching the other boy's eyes.

Love, happiness, and hope were the only emotions in those dark orbs.

"I'm lost without you; I love you, Johnny Cade."

Tears of joy ran down Johnny's cheeks.

"I love ya too, Ponyboy Curtis."

They both leaned forward, until their lips met in a passionate kiss.

All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
Running through my head
All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
All the things she said
All the things she said
This is not enough
This is not enough
All the things she said
All the things she said
All the things she said
All the things she said
All the things she said
All the things she said
All the things she said
All the things she said, she said
All the things she said
All the things she said