Cloud was without a doubt, in hell.

If Zack waking him up at six in the morning declaring with much enthusiasm that the day was wasting away and it was time to get up wasn't bad enough. Kunsel coming in afterwards and forcing him into his swim shorts (Also threatening to make him wear something much more embarrassing if he didn't agree) took the cake.

He sighed irritably while poking a clump of seaweed with his toe. They're not even out here...

Zack somehow must have heard Cloud's inner thoughts, cause chose that moment to skip over to him.

"Hey Cloudy! Sorry I took so long. Kunsel hid my clothes... Probably hoping I would go naked."

Note to self: Hide suitcase as soon as I get back to the room...

"Zack? Are we really going in there? It looks pretty cold..."

"Well of course! Don't worry! Your body goes numb after a while, and you don't feel anything!"

Another note to self: Never go swimming with Zack or Kunsel in the ocean...

Zack grabbed his wrist. "Come on Cloudy! We don't have to wait for the stalker! Let's get in!"

Cloud immediately started to struggle. "No Zack, we should wait! He might get upset if we leave him alone."

The SOLDIER ignored him and scooped him up bridle style running full speed towards the water.

Cloud had to hold back a rather girlish shriek as Zack launched himself as far as he could.

"Hold your breath Cloudy!"

He tried to do just that, but they were already under the water.

Ahh! Cold! Get me out! Kill Zack!

When they surfaced, Zack was laughing hysterically and shivering like crazy.

"Oh man, that'll wake you up. Eh Cloudy?"

He looked down to see Cloud holding onto him like he was his only life line. Which was kind of true since...

"Strife can't swim."

Zack yelped and turned to face Kunsel. "Oh... Hey Kunsel! Dude don't do that, you almost gave me a heart attack."

Kunsel shrugged. "SOLDIER's can't have heart attacks, so I wouldn't be too worried about that if I were you."

"Ok... I really don't want to know how you figured that out..." He pet Cloud's head, the poor cadet was shaking so hard, it looked like he was having a seizer.

"Hey Zack, wanna know a secret about me?" Kunsel winked at him suggestively.

But Zack being Zack, really didn't know when he should keep his mouth shut.

"Sure!"

Kunsel swam over to him and gave him an awkward one armed hug. "I'm not wearing anything right now..."

Zack laughed nervously. "Is that so?"

Cloud had gone very still.

Both Kunsel and Zack poked him.

With a very blank expression, the cadet turned towards the shore and swam like a shark was after his ass.

Zack had to hold back a laugh. "Well I guess he knows how to swim now..."

Cloud collapsed in the sand as soon as he got to the shore. Ok... I go to my room and lock myself in there...

"Hey it's a cadet yo."

He looked up to see a Turk with spiky red hair. Great, a Turk.

The Turk nudged his head gently with his shoe. "Where's the puppy? I'm supposed to be watching him yo."

Cloud pointed to the ocean. "He's out there with Kunsel."

"How preoccupied do you think he is?"

Cloud thought about the very naked perverted 2 nd class, and the very dense 1 st class. "A lot probably."

"Good, let's go get laid yo." The Turk pulled a very confused Cloud to his feet. "The name's Reno by the way."

Laid???! Why do I always attract these types of people?

"I don't think that's a good idea! My...boyfriend will get pretty mad if he finds out!"

"And who's your boyfriend? Someone weak right? Someone I could easily kill in a fight? I ain't scared of any boyfriend yo."

Think, think, think!

"Actually-

"Cloudy! Are you going to make breakfast?" Zack was skipping towards them.

"It's Zack."

Reno let go of Cloud like his hand was on fire. "Oh sorry yo!" He pushed Cloud into a very (once again) confused Zack's arm's. "I didn't know you two were together yo. Breakfast? I can do that! You stay out here yo."

Zack was still in a slight state of confusion. "Cloudy? What was that about?"

Kunsel walked over them with a towel wrapped around his waist. "I think our dear Cloud has something to confess Zack."

Cloud blushed, which really didn't help the situation. "Err..." That was stupid! Now everyone's going to think I like him. Why me?

Zack's eyes lit up as he finally caught on to the situation. "Cloudy? Where you gonna ask me out?"

Cloud didn't answer, but the blush on his face deepened, giving both men the answer.

Zack picked him up in a giant bear hug and twirled around the beach. "You're so romantic! Waiting until we got to a beach! We're you gonna tell me as the sun was setting? That would have made me cry!"

Kunsel face palmed. "Zack, what is it with you and cliche's?"

The SOLDIER placed Cloud back on his feet and ruffled his hair. "Ok Cloudy, ask me!"

Cloud gulped loudly and tried not to cry. "Zack... I was wondering..." Wondering if that seashell is sharp enough to slit my throat...

He looked into Zack's eyes which were shinning with happiness, and he though back to that day when his eyes were filled with nothing but tears and sadness. That broken expression scared him. I don't want to see that look again... If it makes Zack happy... I guess I can deal with it...

"Would you be my boyfriend?"

The answering smile was so big, Cloud was surprised Zack's face didn't crack in half. "Of course I would Cloudy! This means you can move all your stuff in my room!"

What?

"And we get to sleep together!"

What?

"And you're not allowed to see any other guys except me!"

Not like any other guys like me...

"And you also have to wear a bikini next time we go swimming!"

"No! Why would I have to do something like that?"

"Because you're my boyfriend!"

Kunsel pulled a video camera out of nowhere and started taping. "I have a feeling I'm going to need this over the next few days. Now pucker up Strife."

Zack picked the cadet up and kissed his lips gently. "I love you Cloudy."

Cloud wrapped his arms around Zack and nuzzled his throat. This isn't too bad... He smells really nice...

Kunsel had to ruin the moment though, it was his job. "Make sure you two have wild sex so I can tape it and sell it when we get back.

On second thought, Cloud was in hell. If you ever were told to go to hell, you would look up the name Cloud Strife and find his location.

That took longer then I thought it would! Exams are to blame people... And that Zelda fic I haven't updated since... November? O.o I have to go finish that one now! Hopefully the new chapter for this will be up sometime soon, but no promises~