AN: YAY I wrote another one. This is probably making me happier than it is any of you lolz. So yeah, I wrote another chapter, I hope you all like it. Thanks as always to the nice reviewers and I hope you continue to do so in the future. Reviews are more important than food and water and are almost as tasty as chocolate.

kalenel – aww, it's nice to know you like my updates, I hope this one delivers. DiscoUnicorn – the magazine will come back and we will see some amusing things about how Spock feels and Sulu is not as dirty as it seems, just wait and see, XtinaW – Oh believe me McCoy will have no sanity left when I'm done with him. He's such a fun character to write, Hover – I'm happy you approve of the pink furry thong lolz, Dragonwitch250 – Oh my poor McCoy. Not even Spock can stand up to his wrath and right now the wrath is aimed at Kirk's pretty-boy head, Desperately Seeking Reason – It's all cool. I think I forgot to add a lolz at the end of that. I'm pretty sure most ppl's know I'm a chick it's all god. I like the WOman tho. It makes me think of wombat for absolutely NO reason. Port-of-Seas – Oh Sulu, I think he should worry more about Uhura beating the tar out of him for eyeing her man er…alien, Batya – as a jew I must say three words, thanks so much! Glad to know you're liking it, uki200 – Oh you'll find out, and IMO he has a REALLY good reason to be yelling, Roze Haun – LOTR is so a classic! Yes, someone who gets my logic! – Thank you so much! I hope you like this next chapter, PadawanMom – I swear Sulu will be redeemed, just trust me on this one I promise, Narnel – Wow they're in character, I'm so happy right now! You have no idea how joyous that made me; it's such a high compliment (hugs), Ohtar Vicky – Ah yes the Vulcan and his girlfriend are probably not too thrilled with Sulu at the moment lolz, and trust me Jim will be feeling the wrath, dexgal – If you liked the paste you're gonna love this chapter, nuf' said, mykardia – poor Sulu, look what I've done, Sulu is not a perv it will all play out I swear. God Sulu fans must want me dead after this haha, XUrMomX – Spock is … interesting when he's drunk, I'll leave it at that, don't worry he's getting drunk soon, I'm thinking 2 or 3 chapter more at the most before he rears his tipsy Vulcan head.

Uhura felt her heart stop. Were those…footsteps? No…it was something else…a scream? It sounded vaguely like McCoy. Now if only she could make out what he was yelling. Suddenly, another cry came echoing through the hall loud and clear.

"JJJJJJJJJIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!"

Oh…that's what he was saying.

------------------

10 minutes ago

"Quick! Grab some paper towels!" McCoy barked.

"No no wait, I think I can fix this" Kirk said while trying to mop up paste with his sleeve.

"Yes, with PAPER TOWELS"

"You know, Bones you don't have to be so pushy all the time"

McCoy sighed in exasperation and looked around hastily for paper towels. His eyes settled on a new roll near the stove, only a few steps away. Without thinking McCoy started towards them.

"Bones"

"What now" McCoy yelled, his patience now being stretched thin.

"…you just stepped in paste"

McCoy looked down, and sure enough he had just stepped in paste. After controlling his desire to curse, he attempted to lift his foot and wipe the paste off. However the paste had other ideas. Try as he might, McCoy's foot stayed firmly planted to the floor.

"Oh…by the way" Kirk began, "It's really sticky"

"DAMN IT."

"Bones, you need to learn to relax, it's just cooking"

McCoy felt his face turn red in an attempt to hold in his anger; if he had been a cartoon steam would have been pouring out of his ears.

"Hey Bones."

McCoy felt like cursing as Kirk said that now hated string of words, "Yes Jim" He said, punctuating every syllable.

"Do you hear something?"

McCoy froze and listened… he heard nothing but decided it may be best to humor the Captain, "Hear what exactly Jim. I'm a doctor damn it not a hearing aid"

"I thought I heard fizzing…I guess not" Kirk said innocently. However, this innocent remark was enough to make McCoy's eyes open as wide as saucers.

"The soup!"

McCoy dove for the stove to remove a now boiling pot of matzo-ball soup from the heat, forgetting completely that his foot was stuck to the floor. His foot holding him back, McCoy came up short, hitting his forehead hard on the counter before collapsing onto the floor.

"Bones…"

"Bones?"

"McCoy?"

Worried by the doctors continued silence, and the fact that he still wasn't moving Kirk started poking him with a slotted spoon he had been playing with earlier.

"Bones…you ok?" He asked quietly.

"I'd be a lot more ok if you'd stop poking me," McCoy grumbled.

"oh…right" Kirk said while dropping the slotted spoon…into the paste.

McCoy sat up and gingerly rubbed his sore forehead, before feeling something strange on his fingertips.

"Am I bleeding?"He asked to no one in particular.

"Only a little" Kirk responded as he tried to pull the slotted spoon out of the paste, "This stuff is like superglue!"

"You're telling me" McCoy whispered thinking of his foot. As his brain began working again, he suddenly remembered what he had been attempting to do before he fell, "Soup!"

"I'm more of a salad person, but to each his own I guess."

"No the- nevermind!" McCoy yelled as he attempted to get up and move the pot of soup. Unfortunately for the doctor, that wouldn't be happening anytime soon as when he had fallen, it was in the paste, his legs and bottom now glued to the floor.

"SHIT!"

"Bones watch your language! It's a holiday!"

"Jim I can't believe I'm saying this but…I need your help."

"Sure."

"Sure?"

"Sure as in Sure I'll help"

"Wonderful," McCoy breathed sarcastically from his position pasted to the floor, "I need you to go to the stove, turn it OFF, hear that Jim off not on off, and move the pot. Can you do that?"

"Absolutely" Kirk said confidently as he stood and started toward the stove. Once he approached he simply stood staring at the bubbling pot.

"Is there a problem?"

"No."

Silence.

"Except…"

"Yes" McCoy felt his patience running thin again.

"What do I do with the pot?"

McCoy couldn't believe what he was hearing, had Kirk always been this moronic?

"I mean, when I move it where do I put it?"

Before McCoy was given a chance to yell a very loud BEEP was heard throughout the kitchen. Kirk looked around in mild surprise attempting to find the source of the new noise. As McCoy saw the glint of distraction in Kirk's eyes he knew this wouldn't end well.

"Jim. Focus. Remember the soup?"

"Do I smell pot-roast?"

"Jim…"

But it was too late; Kirk was already by the oven, pot holders ready. McCoy quietly cursed his paste restraint as Kirk opened the oven door. The second the door opened, a large cloud of smoke began pouring out of the small space and enveloped the kitchen almost instantaneously.

"Huh…cool."

McCoy wanted nothing more than to slap his dumbass of a Captain upside the head. Nothing, absolutely nothing could make this worse.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

"Hey Bones."

"What Jim?"

"Is that the fire alarm?"

"So it seems."

"Should I take out the pot-roast?"

McCoy sighed, "It would be a good idea."

"Where should I put it?"

"Anywhere."

"Anywhere? Don't you think that's a bit reckless?"

McCoy rubbed the bridge of his nose as he felt a colossal headache coming on, "Put it on the cooling rack."

"What's that again?"

"Just put it on the counter."

"You got it."

McCoy heaved yet another sigh as Kirk stepped over him to place the meat on the counter, all the while the fire alarm continuing. Just as McCoy felt things were finally calming down in the kitchen he heard a fizzing. His mind immediately went to the soup. As he looked up, he was greeted by sight of the Matzo-ball soup bubbling to the point of overflowing.

"Jim."

"Hold on a sec. I think I'm gonna taste-test this pot-roast."

"Jim." .

"Just a sec, Bones."

"The soup-"

"I'll get around to it."

"JJJJJJJJJIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!"

"Ok ok, keep your temper Bones"

Kirk quickly arrived at the side of the stove and turned off the heat, "Bones, was that the last dish? Is the meal done?"

McCoy nodded, thanking God he had survived.

"I just saved Passover" Kirk said in triumph, smiling proudly as if absolutely nothing was out of the ordinary.

"Mazaltov" McCoy said sarcastically.

"Mashugana"

"What?"

"I thought we were saying Jewish words"

McCoy rolled his eyes and gave Kirk a look that clearly said "oy vey"

Just as the excitement seemed to be winding down in the kitchen, Spock and Uhura burst through the door.

"What's going on?" Uhura asked as she took in the paste covered, blood stained, smoke filled room, "And why is the fire alarm on?"

"Bones was cooking" Kirk responded simply.

"Fascinating" Spock said in awe as he observed the possibly ruined kitchen.

"Vhat has happened to the Festiwe Meal?!" Chekov yelled as he too burst through the door dragging Scotty and Sulu in tow, "Is that a fire alarm?"

"I didn't even know we had a fire alarm." Sulu added quietly to Scotty.

"Hold on Hold on," McCoy shouted from his position on the floor, "What is everyone doing here?"

"I heard a wery loud scream," Chekov answered.

"So did we," Uhura added.

"Well you can all relax now," Kirk said in pure joy, "I saved Passover. Everything is under control."

As if by magic, the beeping fire alarm stopped.

"See?" The Captain announced grinning, "Perfectly under control."

And then, the sprinklers went off.

"Under control?" McCoy asked in annoyance.

"Eh…can't win 'em all."

"Oy."

AN: What? No cliffhanger? OMG I'm being nice lolz. As of today I have am officially done with High School w00t!!! I hope you all enjoyed this wonderful mess of a chapter. I had a blast writing it and parts of it are actually true! Anyway I hope this was enjoyable and the drunkness is coming soon to a theater near you I swear. Thanks again for reading and as always please Review. Thank you and good night.