AN: Hey world. Thanks so much everyone for reading and reviewing. I'm a little under the weather so I'm not gonna be all wordy this time. Just thanks again to everyone who reads, reviews, ties their shoes, and other such things.

Selene the Slytherine – Clearly this is the story Kirk's gonna tell his kids in place of how the Grinch stole Christmas, CypressCullen – Oh Spock is getting drunk really soon. Point to chapter, look foreshadowing ^_^ I love my literary devices, DiscoUnicorn – All of Kirk's ADHD is based off of my brother with short term memory loss, sigh, oh Kirk, uki200 – Congratulations fellow HS graduate! A few weeks ago, wow that sounds great. Stupid tri-state area and their school's til June, dragonwitch250 – Drunk-off-chocolate Spock is next chapter I swear, glad you're enjoying it so far tho, Yami's Aibou – Making people actually lol is harder than I thought but I'm glad I'm at least making some people laugh. At last my years of family Seder's are put to good use! Batya – McCoy should IMO take out a lawsuit on Kirk or something if it's all inedible. If Bones had been left alone I have no doubt it would have been a 5-star meal, bogglewoolf – w00t! I love new fans. Thanks so much for everything you said, you're review was so sweet. Writng this stuff is waaaaaay harder than I thought it would be when I started, lolz, mykardia – I prefer to think of it as Kirk's first cooking exploit and the entire experience fascinated him. He didn't intend to be the cause of all the problems he just kinda…was, XUrMomX – To be fair, I think Sulu's question is a valid question. I like when fire alarms go off tho, so now the enterprise has a fire alarm, Ohtar Vicky – the jewish words game is inspired by the new Nick at Nite commercials for the Nanny. Just throwing that out there lolz, Narnel – See now my next fic clearly has to be who killed Jim Kirk at Passover, PadawanMom – He would totally take the credit! This is Jim Kirk we're talking about here

Disclaimer: Not mine, Roddenberry's.

And then, the sprinklers went off.

"Under control?" McCoy asked in annoyance.

"Eh…can't win 'em all."

"Oy."

-------------------------

After a few minutes of Chekov yelling in Russian and the sprinklers continued indoor rain the crew decided to abandon the kitchen. Kirk ordered maintenance to clean up the mess while the Seder group changed into dry uniforms and reconvened for, as Chekov called it a "family meeting" in the situation room.

"I don't think this is vorking wery vell" Chekov sighed as he looked directly at McCoy who now had a bandage wrapped snuggly around his injured head.

"Let's get a status report" Kirk said, taking control immediately, "Spock?"

"We have located the Haggadah's"

"Really?! This is fantastic nevs." Chekov said joyously as he clapped his hands in delight.

"Where were they?" Sulu asked.

Spock and Uhrua exchanged worried glances before responding simultaneously:

"Nurse Chapel's quarters"

"Lieutenant Scott's quarters"

Everyone turned to stare at the pair.

"That would have been a lot more convincing if you hadn't spoken at the same time" Kirk announced, "Anyway, moving on. Mr Sulu, Scotty how are you two doing on whatever you were doing?"

"Well you see, Captain the thing is…Well…we really have tried-" Scotty began, fading in and out of audibility.

"Yes" Kirk responded, urging him to continue.

"Well um…"

"We haven't started" Sulu responded.

"VHAT?!" Chekov yelled. "Vhy hawen't you started! The Seder plate is one of the most important and symbolic parts of the festiwal"

"This thing's a festival now. Sheesh" McCoy whispered to Uhura.

"I believe Chanukah is the festival of light. Perhaps this is to be a combined holiday?" Spock offered in response to the confusion.

"So do we need to order a Menorah?" Scotty asked.

"A Menorah's a candle holder, right?" Kirk questioned.

"Technically it is a nine-branched candelabra" Spock recited.

"Wait isn't Chanukah in December? I'm pretty sure this is just Passover…no 8 days of miracle yet" Uhura added as the voice of reason.

"We have to have another one of these in December?! For 8days?! Forget it!" Kirk shouted.

"Please eweryone" Chekov begged, "Please quiet! Ve must finish this Seder before sundown"

"Alright. To recap, this is just a Seder no candle's, the huggies have been found and no one's started the plate. Is that everything?" Kirk asked the group as they refocused their tiny attention spans.

Everyone nodded.

"Good. Now Scotty, why haven't you started the plate yet?" Kirk asked now directing his attention to the red-shirted officer.

"The instructions that tell us what goes where aren't in English" Scotty replied.

"What language are they in?" Kirk asked, now genuanly interested.

"Jewish obviously" Scotty responded matter-of-factly.

"Hebrev" Chekov corrected.

"Whatever, does anyone read Hebrew? Uhura, you're a linguist. You know this one?"

"Fluently" She responded.

"Great, you go with Mr. Sulu and Scotty and help them make this stupid plate. What's next?"

"The festiwe meal" Chekov prompted.

"Right. Me and Bones-"

"Bones and I" Spock corrected.

"-finished making the meal"

"And desert?" Chekov asked hopefully.

"Desert…" Kirk repeated quietly not realizing there was any desert.

"Yes Desert" Chekov replied, "You did not make it?"

Kirk sighed, "Alright, me and Bones can make-"

"No"

"Bones-"

"NO Jim and that's final"

"But you need to make desert"

"No I don't, I can't, and I won't. I'm going back to the sickbay where fake birds don't explode, flour doesn't make paste-"

"You vere using flour?" Chekov asked horrified, his hands shooting up to cover his face in disgust.

"Why…is that wrong?" Kirk asked like a child who's just broken his mother's favorite antique vase.

"No. I didn't use any…it all wound up on the floor" McCoy said, sounding less and less confident with every word.

"Ah, ewerything is alright then. On Passover ve do not eat leawened bread"

"Oh…" Kirk responded, "But if we can't have leavened stuff like bread what the heck's desert made out of? We can't have tofu cake, I refuse"

"Most of the desert is chocolate based. Captain, Mr. Spock…vould you mind making desert?"

"Actually-"

"We'd be happy to, wouldn't we Spock?" Kirk said cutting off his first officer mid-sentence.

"As a matter of fact-"

"Then it is all settled. Ve each hawe our nev tasks?"

Chekov was greeted with a group of blank stares.

"Uhura, Sulu and Scotty are making a plate, Bones is going to the Sickbay, and Spock and me are making desert. Everyone good?"

Everyone nodded.

"Good. Let's get Sedering"

----------------------------------

When Kirk re-entered the kitchen it was far from perfect, but it was certainly better then when he had left it. The sprinklers had been shut off and towels had been laid over the paste so it was safe to walk again. "Come on Spock. The kitchen doesn't bite" Kirk said as he dragged the Vulcan in.

"That would be illogical"

Kirk sighed, somehow he had the distinct feeling this wouldn't be anywhere near as much fun as it had been with Bones.

"Well, might as well get started" Kirk stated while rolling up his sleeves, "Grab the chocolate"

Spock's eyes widened in, was that fear Kirk saw in his first officer?

"Chocolate?" Spock repeated quietly.

"Yeah. What you have a problem with chocolate?"

Yes

"No." Spock said in faux-confidence "Let us begin"

AN: What? Do I smell a drunk Vulcan next chapter. Lolz, thanks everyone for reading and as always please review. Each review makes me glow with joy. So again just thanks and I look forward to writing the most highly anticipated bit ever, Drunk!Spock YAY!