AN: soooooo sleepy. Hey all I'm back with a much anticipated chapter. Hope is satisfies. Just a note I'm moving tomorrow so I'll be MIA for a few days. Don't worry I have every intention of finishing this tho. Thanks to all the reviewers. I love you guys.

Fireflower13 – If it's a drunk Vulcan you want it's a drunk Vulcan you get lolz. Hope this lives up to the hype, Selene the Slytherine – OMG I hadn't even thought of a striptease. That would rock on sooooooooo many levels. I smell a plot bunny ^_^, .dolphins – God I hope it's as funny as everyone's hoping. Hope you enjoy the drunk!Spock, uki200 – ah yes the smell of a drunk Vulcan is rare indeed. Lolz, hope you enjoy, BloomingSparrow – wow that happens to you too? I thought I was the only chocolate lightweight around haha. As far as I'm concerned chocolate is waaaaaay better than alcohol, DiscoUnicorn – Kirk is quick possibly the most annoying person ever. Seriously I would probably slap him, my poor McCoy. The flour was just in the kitchen and Spock and Uhura just seem like the type to be unable to talk to a fellow crewmember about their porn stash lolz, bogglewoolf – Your words of praise are legit some of the sweetest ever. I plan to go rampant with the dunk and I think you'll be satisfied. Remember, this chapter is just the tip of the iceberg, XtinaW – Oh heck yeah it's a test of control. They should have 'surviving a kitchen with Kirk' instead of the Kobayashi Maru, Renaly – Luckily for all of us fanfic writers Spock is only half-Vulcan and therefore can totally lie in my book and in the old series episodes, MiVarFan93 – More is officially here. Hope the wait wasn't too bad and hope you enjoy, Batya – I'm thinking you should run towards but only until you can see him well I wouldn't want to be too close in case he decides to do something evil, MagicalMary – Yay I'm a slice of brilliance! That totally makes me think of pie for no good reason. Aww man now I really want pie. Dragonwitch250 – There's just something about Kirk be it his inability to listen to other or his ability to annoy everyone and anyone. He's just so fun to write, Dexgal – Believe me we will be seeing more of Bones and Chapel. I LOVE that pairing and I'd never thought about it before but really it's very natural don't you think? Ohtar Vicky – Let's get Sedering is an awesome phrase I plan to integrate into life, lolz. Hope you enjoy the chapter, sadhappygirl – Thank you so much. It's such a relief to be done with HS. Now if only I didn't have work then I'd just write fanfic all day haha. Anyway thanks so much for your kind words and I pray this lives up to expectations.

Disclaimer: Soooooo not mine it's not even funny. Roddenberry's.

Spock's eyes widened in, was that fear Kirk saw in his first officer?

"Chocolate?" Spock repeated quietly.

"Yeah. What you have a problem with chocolate?"

Yes

"No." Spock said in faux-confidence "Let us begin"

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Spock stood by the counter while Kirk lifted two large crates lettered: FESTIVE DESERT and placed them on the counter. He skillfully cracked the lid and began pulling out packets and two instruction manuals. Once everything was laid out in plain sight, Kirk opened the first instruction manual. He scanned the words before turning to Spock with a huge grin on his face.

"Hey Spock" He began.

Spock, having never heard this tone in his captain's voice before, thought nothing of it and responded with a simple, "Yes?"

"We get to make chocolate covered matzo -"

Spock felt his heart sink.

"And chocolate lollipops-"

His heart sank deeper.

"And-"

Spock stopped listening. This was clearly going to be harder then he'd thought. It didn't help at all that chocolate just happened to be one of Spock's favorite foods as well.

"So we'll start on the chocolate matzo." Kirk's words brought Spock back to reality. "I'll get the hardening-drying station ready. You start melting the chocolate"

"I do not believe this is wise Captain" Spock said uneasily.

"Spock relax. I don't know how to cook either. If we get into any real trouble I can just get Bones back from the Infirmary"

Somehow this sentiment did not relax Spock. However, Kirk seemed caught up in his own world as he danced around the kitchen laying matzo out on the counter while dumping chocolate into the melting pot.

"All you have to do is stir that" Kirk said happily gesturing to the pot.

"Are you certain?" Spock asked while glaring at the pot of potential disaster.

"100%"

Spock raised an eyebrow.

"Ok 65%...just get stirring"

Spock let out a quiet sigh before grabbing a wooden spoon and placing it in the pot of liquid chocolate. He pushed the spoon around with a single finger and kept his body facing the opposite direction as he attempted to avoid the all too tempting smell of cocoa.

Kirk let out a chuckle at Spock's apparent dissonance with his task. While Kirk would never ever say this out loud, Spock-watching (Akin to people-watching) was one of Kirk's favorite activities. It was almost as much fun as annoying McCoy. Kirk was far from oblivious and more times than not he knew full well how annoying he was being and took a sort of pride in it, not that it took much to annoy Spock but still, it was fun.

After a quick look around the kitchen Kirk turned to Spock with a look of pure confusion on his face. Spock silently cursed whatever evil had stuck him in this kitchen. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Kirk was about to say something Spock really didn't want to hear.

"So…do you know how to set up a hardening-drying station?" Kirk asked as he fiddled with some plastic bits he'd taken out of the FESTIVE DESERT crate.

"I would suggest reading the instructions" Spock replied smugly, or as smugly as he could manage so close to the chocolate.

Silence.

"Captain, have you destroyed the instructions?" He asked, attempting to keep his voice level.

Kirk innocently held up the ripped paper, "Would you believe it was an accident?"

Spock would have said something witty if he'd been able to think straight, but the rich creamy chocolate turning in pot was currently taking all of attention.

"Forget this" Kirk whispered to himself as he grabbed the plastic pieces and the ripped instructions, "What was I thinking, I can't do this"

"Captain?" Spock called as Kirk started for the door, "Where are you going?"

"To Bones. He'll put this together. Don't worry I'll be back, just keep stirring I guess"

"Captain…Captain?....Jim?" But it was no use. Kirk was gone and Spock was left alone with the pot of chocolate and very little self control.

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Uhura was not enjoying herself. It's not that she didn't enjoy spending time with Scotty; she just didn't want to see Sulu. After being in his room, she was not too keen on looking him in the eyes and being civil. That magazine…had not made her happy.

So many questions were swirling around in her mind. Was Sulu gay? Did he have a thing for her Vulcan? Or did he just have a thing for Vulcan's period. Was she in the middle of a triangle? This was all starting to sound vaguely soap opera-ish.

"Lt. Uhura? Is something wrong?" Sulu asked politely.

Uhura couldn't help but scowl, "Everything's peachy" She said hostility in her voice.

"…ok. Just checking. You seem a little angry"

"psh, a little?!" Scotty said laughing to himself.

Uhura shot him a quick glare.

Scotty silenced himself immediately.

"Let's just get back to the Seder plate alright?" Sulu asked kindly.

"Fine" Uhura replied curly.

"Are you going to only use single syllable words? Cause I had a broad who-"

"Let's…try to stay on topic" Sulu said, attempting to keep the conversation on track.

Uhura rolled her eyes at him, "Who put you in charge?"

Sulu raised his hands in defense, palms outwards and the annoying grin on his features, "No one. Would you like to be in charge?"

Uhura was growing tired of this so she took a deep breath, counted to 10 and attempted to be a bit less…counterproductive.

"Alright let's get to work. Do you guys have everything that's suppose to be on the plate?"

"I think so." Scotty said as he reached a crate a pulled out 6 packets.

Uhura let out a deep sigh, "Then let's get started…I guess"

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It took Kirk a lot longer then he'd anticipated to return to the kitchen. First McCoy hadn't wanted to help, so he'd had to beg. Actually beg. On his hand and knees beg. It had been humiliating. And then he'd run into Christine Chapel. She'd broken up with her boyfriend and Kirk had seized the opportunity to ask her to the Seder. Unfortunately she already had a date. It bothered Kirk even more when she wouldn't say who. Ultimately it had been a very frustrating trip. So of course the absolute last thing he wanted when he entered the kitchen was to see a very large mess. However, that's what Kirk got. A mess, a very large and very chocolaty mess.

"Spock?" Kirk called as he scanned the room. "Spock?"

His first officer was nowhere in sight.

"Elf-person?" He called again.

He was greeted with the sound of giggling, no SPOCK giggling. The sound sent waves of terror up Kirk's spine. He hadn't even known Spock knew how to giggle. Fearing something terrible had happened, Kirk started off at a run in search of his now-giggling friend.

As he rounded a corner his eyes were captured by the sight before him.

"Spock?"

Spock was sitting Indian style on the floor, a large packet of half-melted chocolate besides him and a small circle of chocolate balls surrounded him. His face was half covered in a chocolate coating and his finger tips had been stained an appetizing Hershey brown.

"Hello Cap'n Kirk-Crunch!" Spock said happily swaying to some inaudible music, "Look wha' I made fer yer new passedover cereal! Chocolate matzo balls! But I call them Chocolatzo Balls! It's a very logical thing to combine both words for speaking simplicity"

Kirk felt his jaw drop in terror.

"What the hell?!"

AN: While this may not be typical drunk person behavior this did happen to a friend of mine…she was really out of it. Anyway hope you all enjoyed. There will be more. As always please review. It makes me very happy. Also, just IMO when Vulcan's get drunk all that emotion they're always suppressing comes right to surface so we'll see a LOT of heightened emotion from Spock. Gosh I hope this wasn't a letdown for anyone. Review and restore my confidence please.