Ok. Here we go...

I may not have the softest touch,

I may not say the words as such,

And though I may not look like much,

I'm yours...

GORDIE

"Chris!? What the hell?" I yelled as soon as we were out in the cool night air. I wrenched my hand away from his and glared at him, rubbing my sore arm. The boy had grabbed me so many times that day, it was starting to take its tole on my body.

"What?!" He glared back at me breathlessly, scrabbling in his jeans for a cigarette.

"You go on about the freakin' party and then you drag me out as soon as we fuckin' get there."

"I got bored." He said, lighting up and inhaling sharply. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, looking like he had a bad headache or something.

"What do you think you were doin'? Grabbin' me away from Janice? I liked her! I don't need no babysitter, I can get home by myself."

"Aww, Janice? Someone's familiar aren't they? Did the poor girl let you get to third base? You stupid fuck. She was ugly as crap. You need your freakin' eyes tested." Chris spat.

That was a basic lie. Janice had been very pretty.

"Don't be such an ass, Chambers. She was nice."

And she had been. But not in the way you'd think. We'd been having this really cool conversation about unrequited love when Chris had burst in, acting like a total psycho.

"Fuck off."

"Don't be such a shithead. You're just jealous 'cos you didn't pull anyone."

"I did." His voice was quiet now, thoughtful. He stamped out his cigarette and watched as it ground into the dirt.

"Then why the fuck are you so fuckin' mad?"

"I-I didn't want any of them."

"Not your type? Well you'll get another one easy, you have groupies for fuck's sake." I touched his arm, trying to make peace. To calm the tense atmosphere. I was still angry but I wanted to get that broken look out of his eyes more than anything else.

"I don't think that's it." He muttered. Almost to himself, I think.

"Then wha-" My heart sped. In hope?

"I don't have a fuckin' clue, Gordie, all right? I have no freakin' idea and you're really not helping matters. Why don't you just go the fuck home?"

"Do you want me to?" I asked boldly.

"No. That's the fuckin' issue."

"Well thanks a-fuckin'-lot, Chambers. That don't make no sense."

"None of this does."

"Aw, fuck you." If only.

"Fine. I'm gettin' the FUCK outta here." He yelled, storming off.

I watched his retreating back in silence, hurt and confused and fighting the feelings that burned at my insides. I wanted to run after him...

What was the fucking problem? My heart beat faster. I was terrified. Terrified he'd come back. Terrified he'd keep walking...

He suddenly stopped, a few paces away. He jumped back toward me, barrelling into me and sending us both tumbling to the floor. His eyes blazed and his fists flew.

"WHY, GORDIE? WHAT THE FUCK?" He yelled, punching me hard in the chest, knocking the wind out of me.

"WHY DO I ALWAYS COME BACK FOR YOU?" He screamed, gripping me hard, pinning me to the floor as he shouted in my face, almost begging for a reaction. An answer.

Something in me snapped. The small part of me that hated Chris, envied his strength and looks and speed, came flying out. That, combined with the total depth of this inexplicable situation, fueled the force behind the slap I dashed across his taut face. A slap, not even a punch. A pitiful, futile slap. He gasped, dazed, and I took the opportunity to try and wriggle free of his grasp. But because he is Chris Chambers (and therefore superior to me in every way) he had to win. He punched me again, this time in the jaw. I couldn't bite back the cry of pain that flew from my mouth. I bit down hard on my lips, drawing blood. At the sound of my pain, Chris froze completely. I watched his face as it contorted in horror. He stared at his hands as if they no longer belonged to him. As if he had not been the one to deliver the blows.

"Gordie-?" His voice cracked and he started to cry. Hot tears streamed fast down his face as he stared at his still clenched fists, where they rested on my hips. He made no attempt to conceal his crying, just let the water flow from his eyes. This was the second time I'd seen Chris cry in the fourteen years I'd known him. Christopher Chambers never cried. Everyone knew it. He didn't cry when his Dad smacked him around, he didn't cry when he saw his Mum stand there and watch, letting it happen. He didn't cry when he saw his brother stand there, egging his father on. He didn't fucking cry.

Then what was this?

I watched his face for immeasurable moments, my hands resting limply on his chest. Either to console him or to keep him away from me. His streaming eyes stayed locked with mine, our faces only inches apart. There were no barriers in our expressions. No concealments. I saw torment, anger, confusion, sorrow in his face. I wondered what he could see in mine.

Slowly, so slowly time seemed to stand still, I moved a little closer to my best friend. I gripped the back of his head with my hands, knotting my fingers in his hair so I could look deeper into his face. Maybe it hurt, but he didn't complain.

I wanted to read his thoughts. His anxieties, what he wanted. Because I knew what I wanted.

Forgetting all about my aching jaw and bloody mouth, I pulled my face even closer to Chris'. Our eyelashes almost touched, the colour in his eyes almost filling my entire vision. I saw recognition dawn in them, so piercing in the darkness.

I felt hands move from my hips to my shoulders, locking me even more securely in place. I was happy to be restrained, I didn't want to move an inch. Doubt I could have even if I had wanted to. Chris moved his face a way a little, taking in my expression. Testing. I was tired of testing. Do or die. SOMETHING had to happen. We had to decide. I yanked hard on his hair in frustration, some of the hysteria and reality coming back to me as his fingernails dug into my shoulder blades. This was war.

I was braced for the assault of his fists, or – worse – the sound of his fading footsteps, when I felt his lips come down on mine - hard. He crushed our mouths together, moving his hands up my neck to grab fistfuls of my hair. It was like an assault. Bitter and painful and fucked up and freaking wonderful. I felt his full weight on my chest, happily suffocating in his embrace as we beat the crap out of each other - from the inside this time.

OK so this chapter was probably one of the biggest ones yet. I don't want this to be some soppy love story, or porn 'fic. I'm trying to capture the confusion etc. Did I get it right? More soon, jezz and erin!! thanks for reviewing you guys! Btw, I was inspired by watching this REALLY old tv series called "one summer". The boys in it don't have this relationship, but they look the way I imagine C/G. Well, one of them does anyway xD. So if you know anyone who likes GordiexChris stuff. Plleeeease recommend my 'fic to them!! And if theres any suggestions for the plot, send away!! Ta ladies! Keep reviewing!! F.I XX