AN: And I'm back! Yay! I come bringing another chapter. I hope it lives up to the rest of this holiday tale I tell. Thanks to all the lovely reviewers, I honestly can't even begin to express how much I love feedback. So keep it coming you guys, thanks! Hope eveyone's enjoying summer, yay sun!
Port-of-Seas – Spock is just a quoting machine! Lolz, I figure he studied old earth culture so in my mind he can paraphrase legally blonde all he wants, XtinaW – If I had any artistic ability…or a laptop that wasn't dying I would totally make that icon. Happy you thought it worthy of being called awesome, DiscoUnicorn – Personally I'm a huge fan of TOS Uhura also. I just find her so fun and an amazing rolemodel…however I like the new Uhura also! She's way fun to write and I just feel like I have a good handle on her, but please correct me if I'm wrong. I'm happy to learn and grow with my writing, Hover – Do I watch Psych?! I love it! Shawn is super funny and just pineapple's rock. Lassie is my love! It's nice to see a fellow Psych fan. Excited for the new season? I am! sadhappygirl – I would love you're chocolate! And I'm sure Spock hasn't eaten them all...they still need some for the Seder desert. uki200 – w00t! Happy to make you laugh and I'm happy you're finding Kirk's reactions so perfect. He's kinda a challenge to write IMO, kimmerrz – thanks for the review and it's good to know that line wasn't too over the top. I was really worried about it for a while, Tenebrielle – In my very humble opinion, all Seders are like this one way or another. Hell every Seder I've ever been to is like this…It's the beauty of Seders, although the tequila intrigues me ^_^ Helen Bache – OMG I've been called a genius I can die happy. Haha, thanks so much. I gotta say I did not expect people to find this so funny I'm so pleasantly surprised, BloomingSparrow – spaghettio's are awesome. They are legit my food of choice, well that and kid cuisine. God I'm like 2 at heart…well I guess it's not a bad thing. It comes in handy when writing drunk!Spock, Narnel – If I ever did anything that wound up in a movie (especially a trek movie) I would die of joy but good to know the imagery worked well. Thankies, Fireflower13 – As soon as the thing with Sulu is revealed she'll have no reason to be so pissed I promise. She mellow's real soon, you just have to wait it out. To be fair if a friend of mine was potentially into my boyfriend I wouldn't be very chill… dexgal – I think the thing I'm most proud of in this story has yet to be posted. It's the resolution of Sulu's **. And believe me that is one hell of a convo, .dolphins – On Passover it is tradition for the youngest child to ask at the Seder the "4 questions of Passover". They are traditionally sung in Hebrew. Each questions starts "Mah Nishtanah" which basically and overly simplified means Why or Why is this night different or Why on this night. I thought it was a fitting title. If anyone else wants Jewish for Dummies by Husk just ask lolz, I'm happy to share in my bizarre culture, Ohtar Vicky – Wow top 5. I am beyond happy. If I could I would jump through the computer and hug you I would. Thanks so much. Hope you enjoy this chapter!
Disclaimer: Not mine, Roddenberry's.
"Jim…Spock is drunk"
And for the second time in one hour Kirk felt his jaw drop, "He's what?!"
Spock, who was now playing contently with a chocolatzo ball he'd kept in his phaser holster, giggled his frightening giggle, "uh-oh spaghettio's. Is it time for Seder yet?"
---------------------
Kirk turned to McCoy, jaw hanging wide open, and intelligently replied, "huh?!"
McCoy however had stopped listening and had gone into "doctor mode". He was busy assessing Spock, taking his vitals and recording things in his medical log. Kirk, at a loss for words, simply stood and watched and tried to figure out how Spock had gotten drunk…or if he really was drunk. Maybe he had some strange Vulcan pneumonia.
"Mr. Dr. Bones, I assure you the sun is moving under the kitty's belly and therefore I am complete fine!" The Vulcan laughed as McCoy attempted to take his temperature, "No drinkity here!"
Ok…Kirk thought, maybe he was drunk.
"How is he?" The captain asked after a few minutes.
"Worse than I thought" McCoy said sighing.
"Bones…Is he really…drunk?"
"Very much so Jim. That's the problem"
"How did he even get drunk anyway? There wasn't any tequila in the Kitchen last time I checked" Kirk said, racking his brain for any contrabands he'd stashed and possibly forget about. He remembered placing bottles in his quarters, in the conference room, and in the library, but never the Kitchen.
"Despite their resemblance to us, Vulcan's have a vastly different physiology so…" McCoy began.
"So what? I don't see where you're going with this Bones"
"Vulcan's aren't really affected by alcohol Jim. They're incapacitated by…chocolate"
"Chocolate, for real? The great and mighty Vulcan race defeated by Nestlé's?"
"Something likes that"
"Wow…the chocolate lipstick he's wearing is starting to make a lot of sense" Kirk said as he gestured to the chocolate splotches surrounding Spock's lips.
"Did you see how much he had?"
Kirk shook his head.
"Damnin" McCoy breathed.
"What difference does that make?"
"Jim. What happens when you drink?"
"Me specifically?" Kirk asked waggling his eyebrows.
McCoy rolled his eyes, "Yes, Jim. You specifically"
Kirk, not catching any sarcasm in McCoy's tone began to answer, "Well I-"
But unfortunately for Kirk a loud crash interrupted him.
"Uh-oh…" Spock said. "I have a problem"
Kirk and McCoy ran towards him to find the intoxicated half-alien had knocked over a card of prepared vaccinations.
"Wonderful" McCoy sighed to himself.
"Really? I thought you'd be mad" Kirk replied in honest confusion.
"Nopes nopes. This is how you make Mr. Dr. Boney mad" Spock answered while placing a hand on the doctor's face. "Mind melting time!"
"Don't you mean mind meld time?" Kirk asked before the words registered, "Oh…never mind"
--------------------
Uhura was bored, pissed off, and exceptionally unhappy. She had no desire to be sitting at the long Seder table and even less desire to be there with her new arch-enemy Hikaru Sulu.
"So, is there any chance you'll tell me what I've done wrong?" Sulu asked.
Uhura gave no response. She simply flipped her long ponytail, sighed loudly, and pretended she didn't hear him.
"Just curious. Was it something I did, or is this a preexisting mood deficiency?"
Uhura glared at him, her silence continuing.
"Alright, I understand. You don't want to talk about it. But if it was something I did, I'm very sorry"
Uhura let out a disgruntled "humph" and turned away from him.
"Man…how long does it take Scotty to go the bathroom anyway" Sulu laughed nervously.
Uhura rolled her eyes and for the umpteenth time in the past 15 minutes.
"So…how about this matzo huh? I mean what is up with that?" Sulu tried again in vain to tempt Uhura into talking, "Come on. Anybody? Anybody? Bueller? No? Tough crowd"
---------------------
McCoy had never mind melded with Spock before…not that he'd done it with anyone else either, but still. It was odd thinking that what he was experiencing was really 1st officer Spock's memories and/or thoughts. On one hand, McCoy was fascinated by this phenomenal firsthand experience of the one-of-a-kind Vulcan mind meld, and on the other hand McCoy realized this was nothing but perfect drunken blackmail potential.
Suddenly McCoy was plunged a swirling vortex of memories and emotions. He felt himself being dragged under until he found himself falling. He abruptly landed on his feet in the all too familiar kitchen he'd only recently refused to return to.
"Amazing" The doctor whispered to himself.
The environment was so lifelike…so real…so unbelievable. McCoy carefully walked around the kitchen examining appliances when his gaze was caught by a figure by the stove stirring something in a pot.
It was just then that McCoy understood what was going on. Spock had not only mind melded with him, but he was showing McCoy just how he'd come into his little predicament.
McCoy felt a smile he was relatively sure he shouldn't be feeling falling across his lips.
"Wow" He said, "This is better than intergalactic cable!"
AN: Yes short I know, but coming up next week: how Spock got drunk! It's something to look forward to. Hope this satisfied everyone and that you continue reading. Remember reviewers are like oxygen. Can't live without them. So to sum up, next chapter is a flashback on how Spock gots drunk, I like reviewers and shamelessly pimp my fic. Again, hope it was enjoyable thanks for reading.