AN: I'm alive! Classes just ended and so I'm updating again. Yay! I really wanna finish this one so just bear with me. Sorry everyone. Thanks for your continued support and please enjoy the next chapter.
kalenel – sorry for making you wait so long. Thanks for the review tho, lol college takes up waaay too much time, uki200 – haha oh the streams and crayons, I love drunk people. They are hilarious, bookdragon01 – omg Purim! I love that holiday! I was attempting to explain it to my catholic friends and now they scream Hayman whenever they see me, fireflower13 – I feel so bad for Uhura and Chekov. Uhura just wants her boy back and Chekov just wants a Seder, there requests just aren't unreasonable! Oh enterprise, how we love you, Helen Bache – Rugrats was legit one of fav nick shows, go team Pickles! Ohtar Vicky – Yeah Drunk!Spock is just so fun to write and heck streams are worth that much enthusiasm, sadhappygirl – lol ironically enough its almost New Year again! Thanks for the review! SilentBone – I think he's Jewish but don't quote me on that. I DO know that a lot of the cast was Jewish and I take tremendous pride in that, DiscoUnicorn – oh it's not over yet, so sit back, relax and enjoy another chapter ^_^
Disclaimer: Roddenberry's, not mine
Suddenly the round robin was interrupted as Chekov cleared his throat, "Okay, vho vants to fill the cup of vine for Elijah?"
"Who's Elijah and why does he get wine?" Kirk questioned.
"Captain, at this rate I think we're all gonna need a lot of wine"
"STREAM"
"Lots and lots of wine"
-------------------
Kirk felt the beginnings of a headache forming as Uhura hushed Spock, who was at this time finger-painting on his haggadah with Elijah's cup of red wine. McCoy was flirting with Christine while she openly giggled as Sulu and Scotty were locked in a trying game of tick tack toe.
Thankfully Chekov seemed to be in his own universe at the moment and was completely unaware that the crew had stopped paying attention.
"If he had brought us forth from Egypt, and had not inflicted justice upon the Egyptians it vould have been sufficient" The ensign read above the chatter.
"Jesus Bones, when's this gonna be over?" Kirk whispered while jabbing the doctor repeatedly.
"I'm a doctor damnit not a wristwatch!" McCoy replied, clearly angered at being pulled away from Christine's gentle laughter.
Kirk sighed loudly. At first this has seemed like such a good idea! A day off from working, a little cultural enrichment, tons of wine, a potential date, how had it all gone so wrong? Why was he stuck at a table sober as a nun?
"Why are you watching me paint?" Spock spoke directly into Kirk's ear. The Captain shot back from a mixture of surprise and pain. Surprise as he had not entirely realized he'd been mindlessly staring at Spock's finger-painting and pain from the sudden impact of such a loud noise against his delicate human eardrum. Before he even had a chance to recover, the chair tipped backwards, and Kirk found himself falling onto the cold metallic floor.
"Son of a Bitch!" He landed roughly, his cheek colliding first and his body following swiftly.
The crew simultaneously looked over just in time to see their captain slam face first onto the floor.
"ohhh, there's gonna be a bruise there tomorrow" Scotty said, concern etching into his features, "Is my baby alright?" He asked as he rushed to the scene of the crash.
"I've been better" Kirk replied stiffly.
"Did he hurt you?" The engineer continued, "There there. It's alright" He reassuringly rubbed the ships' floor as if to comfort it, "You'll be fine"
"I get it, because the ship is a baby" Spock said. In Spocks mind, it made perfect sense to be more concerned about the ship than the captain, after all a grown man could take care of himself. A baby was defenseless! And if the ship was a baby it really did need all the help it could get.
"Eweryone please! Settle dovn!" Chekov called in an attempt to restore order to the ever-frantic Seder.
"You've got to be kidding…right?" Kirk asked, now up from the floor.
He began standing the chair back up before his attention was stolen by the high aggravating laughter of Christine Chapel. She and McCoy had yet to rejoin reality and were currently having a lovely evening. Kirk rolled his eyes and returned his attention to the problem at hand.
"You're worried about a ship?!" Kirk was practically shouting.
"Captain! She's a very important ship!" Scotty said in defense.
"ENOUGH!" Chekov roared in his fiercest tone. "Ve vill continue vith the Seder nov….please"
Scotty mumbled an apology as Kirk reclaimed his seat. Silence settled over the dinner table once again as Chekov picked up his haggadah to continue where he had last left off.
"If he had inflicted justice upon the Egyptians and had not continued vith the slaying of the first born it vould have been sufficient"
Uhura felt her eyes widen in shock, "What did you just say?" She demanded, interrupting the Seder once again. "God did what now?!"
"Shut up Lieutenant, let's just get this over with" Kirk mumbled, rubbing his sore check. Chekov paid no mind to the exchange and simply plowed on with his readings.
"If he had continued vith the slaying of the first born and had not parted the red sea it vould have been sufficient. If he had parted the red sea and had not led us to the promise land it vould have been sufficient. If he had led us to the promise land and had not-"
PLOP
And once again everyone's attention was stolen away from the Seder and towards the Vulcan first officer who had been frighteningly well behaved until this very moment. It was Spock this time who had fallen out of his chair.
"How did that even happen" Kirk sighed, holding his wineglass up to his check as a makeshift icepack.
"I honestly have no idea." Uhura began, head falling into her open hands, "One minute he was coloring with wine, the next-"
"On the floor" Christine pointed out rather obviously, "I wonder how he got down there…"
Christine Chapel was a smart girl, logically Kirk knew this, but sometimes he just wanted to slap her. Did she always sound this distant and stupid or was his mood coloring his perception. It was probably the later.
"The ships going to need her own hospital room after this" Scotty said under his breath.
"Enough with the ship man!" McCoy called out.
"ve are newer finishing this Seder" Chekov sighed while slumping down half-heartedly into his chair.
"Like hell we're not!" Kirk called surprising the entire crew with his sudden vigor. "I have wasted an entire day, and sat through this Hebrew mumbo crap for over an hour. We ARE finishing this!"
"Yes Captain" the crew responded in unison.
"Chekov, just keep reading. Sulu help Spock up and let's get this damn thing over with!"
"There is no way he is helping my boyfriend up" Uhura said with attitude oozing out of every word.
Sulu gave her a blank stare, already knelt down beside the disoriented Vulcan. The men exchanged glances before Spock realized what Uhura was referring too.
"oooohhh. I remember" He scooted away from Sulu, "Please don't help me"
"What's going on?" Christine asked McCoy in a manner that was clearly suppose to mimic a whisper, but had the volume of an average comment.
"Clearing something secret" McCoy responded, not even attempting to hide his displeasure at being left out of the loop.
"Alright no more secrets. Lieutenant Uhura what the hell is going on between you and Sulu tonight?"
"Captain I'd rather not-"
"Well it's a little late for 'I'd rather not' so tell me what is going on, that's an order" Kirk's voice was firm and it was clear Uhura no longer had a choice in the matter.
Uhura took a deep breath before continuing, "Earlier, when Spock and I were looking for the haggadahs-"
As if on cue, Chekov raised a prayer book proudly.
"we found…well…"
"we found Vulcan porn" Spock called out, while laying back at the floor, "Oh and it wasn't mine"
All eyes turned to Sulu.
"Well…that opened another can of worms now didn't it Jim"
AN: Well there goes another chapter ^_^ thanks everyone who's kept up. I know it's been a while but now that I'm on break I wanna try and finish this puppy off! Thanks for reading, enjoy the chapter and look forward to the exciting conclusion of Sulu's strange perversion next chapter lol. Thankies and as always review. Thanks!
Oh, and Happy Holidays!