First off, I'm actually amazed by the good reviews I've gotten. I honestly didn't expect them, much less so quickly. That first was my "serious" one. As the story goes on, we'll get into some more humorous moments. And I will almost certainly bring in more factions and groups.

As for using established characters .... well, I only honestly know a few of them. For example, I know little about the Raven Guard other then what I've read on Wiki sites, even less about Shike. I originally thought of using the Blood Ravens, but I thought that may perhaps be to generic. The Canoness is original (Sadly I cannot find any named ones outside of the Dawn of War: Soulstorm chick and she creeps the hell out of me with the way she messes herself everytime someone shoots a flamer). But as it goes on, we may get more big names. After all, Gorgutz always has his tunnels dug, right? -wink wink-

And now, the next chapter of Mini Hammer.

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To be honest, its amazing what the human mind can cope with given enough time. A week ago, I was having a mental breakdown dealing with these tiny bastards. Now? Its honestly become a routine. Although I've learned to start wearing slippers around the house after stepping on an orc for the eight time. Their spikey bits hurt like hell in the morning.

A wake up in the morning to the Sisters singing hymn's. Compared to that crappy alarm clock that blared at me every morning, its actually pretty soothing. They've set up a chapel on my dresser out of the old lego blocks I've kept since I was a kid and the various silver and pewter figurines I've bought over the years when I have a few extra bucks. ... And I'm being literal about the chapel part. Pews, altar, church spires, even a little bell they've gotten from god knows where. How they managed to make a scale chapel in a week with freaking lego's I will never know. But do it they did. Not a bad job of it either. Need to remember to go out and buy them some more blocks today. They want to add a reflectory or something like that to the thing.

Now, at first I didn't want the chicks in my room. Having a quite literal army watch me as I slept? No thank you. But everytime I shuffled them out, they just got back in. Seems they think I'm some kind of Avatar of their god. Everyday I try to convince them I'm not, but then they just start spouting more gospel. Teresa's favorite seems to be "The Emperor is our Father and Guardian, but we must also guard they Emperor". Flatering? Yes. Creepy? Hell yeah. But again, after you go through it enough you start to get use to it.

Sitting up, rubbing sleep from my eyes, I fumble for my glasses, sleepily muttering an apology when I nearly knock one of the sisters over before finding them, slipping them on and looking to the sisters on my nightstand. Apparently every night they leave a troop of chicks with backpack wings they call "Seraphim" their to watch over me and make sure the "heretics and xenos" don't attempt to "bewitch my sight".

I just hope I don't accidently crush one of the crazy ass nuns.

"Mornin ...." Letting out a ear splitting yawn, I stretch out as they all bow, the Canoness stepping out from the little group. "Didn't burn anything down last night did you?"

Teresa, as always, looked offended, but she handled it well. "No lord. As you asked, we have not used our cleansing flames on anything within your realm, despite the black tide that hangs over it."

Sighing, I shake my head, kicking my feet over the side of the bed, looking down to make sure I wasn't going to step on one of their "rhino's" or something again. "You really need to relax sister. No wonder your hair turned white." Standing, I stretched again, feeling my back pop. "What do you all want for breakfast? Fruit Loops again?"

A chorus of ascent and thanks went up from the sisters as I grunted, rubbing my eyes and heading for the door, looking over at my bookcase. The Space Marines set up shop in here to, though they tended to keep well out of the way, taking the bottom three shelves of the case as their own little base, using more lego's and some books as barricades. They darted up and around the thing like flies with those jet packs of theirs or climbed up ropes with ease. Like little tireless monkeys they were. Only the boxy one, Adiac or something like that, kept to the floor, usually moving around one of my books to the floor so he and the others could read it, flipping the pages with those stubby arms of his.

As usual when I went to the kitchen, Shrike jumped up onto my shoulder with that jetpack of his, hitching a ride to "scout out the area". I didn't much mind. Truth be told, I liked Shrike. He had a wealth of stories I could pull out of him with a bit of coaxing, battles fought, legends heard, demons fought. Apparently his universe fucking SUCKED, because all he had were stories of war and such, never with happy endings. Still, he was a decent enough fellow, told me a lot about his "Imperium".

"You and your boys want anything?"

As always, he shook his head. Far as I knew, the little bastards never ate. I would think they were a bunch of robots if they didn't take their helmets off. Still, at least they weren't those Adeptus Mechanicus guys ...

A shudder went up my spine, deciding to check in on them after I got some caffine in my blood. I let the little freaks take the den, mainly because as soon as they saw the computer I heard at least one of them sob with joy. Unfortunatly, they loved to try to take the damn thing apart or get onto the internet. Apparently they think Wikipedia is a link into the mind of their god, the .... "Omnissiah", some sort of machine god. All my attempts to convince them otherwise have so far been like talking to a brick wall. At least they haven't found my porn file yet.

Walking by the living room, I gave a little wave to Guard, who were as always running those poor soldiers ragged through drills and parade routines. Apparently Stubbs loved to show his little army off. They had free run of the place since I had to seperate them and the orcs when the Orcs decided they wanted more "shiny bits" and Stubbs decided he "needed more room for manuveurs". I had to admit, it was kind of fun watching the greenies try to pummel the crap out of an entire tank column (Which Stubbs seemed to have a particular hard on for, particularly those "Baneblades" of his. Even as small as they are I don't want to get shot with that damn cannon of theirs.), but I eventually tore them apart, made the Orcs stay in the guest bedroom, and took away Stubbs Baneblades for a few days. I swear, he started crying when I locked them in my mom's old chest. After watching him mope for about two days I finally broke down and gave them back after he promised to have his little live fire exercises outside.

I think he's still upset about that, but the soldiers themselves seem to like me, particularly after I stomped one of their "comissars" after a long day at work. Apparently taking a break was heresy and after hearing him screaming about how he was going to shoot the lot of them for five minutes while I was trying to watch House. Everyone learned a lesson that day.

Shut the fuck up when I'm watching TV.

Now they love it when I turn on the TV because that means they get to lay back on the tanks, pull out their smokes or their booze (its like watching an army of GI Joe's go on break), lay back on the tanks, and watch TV to.

"Stubbs is being to lax on them again."

Sighing, I look to Shrike, who was glaring at the guard from my shoulder. As always, he had some problem with the Guard. "Well, nobody's going to war here, so they should just chill out."

Looking at me, Shrike pulled off his little helmet, scowling from his perch. "A moment's of laxity breeds a lifetime of heresy."

Shaking my head, I kept on to the kitchen. "And a missed breakfast breeds a lifetime of indigestion for me, so I'm getting some food. Sure your not hungry?"

Shrike's only answer was a grunt as I walked into the kitchen. The Tau had set up shop here, taking the counters and table as their own. They were pretty helpful, eager even to help me with meals, fetching stuff for me while I made myself food and enough for seven pint sized armies. I have to admit, its adorable watching two of their little "Crisis Suits" trying to carry around a box of cereal, a trio of their "Hammerhead" tanks hovering along behind them dragging the milk jug.

But they're so helpful its kind of creepy at times, always saying its "for the greater good". Of all my little house guests, these guys were the nicest .... and the ones I kept feeling like I had to worry about.

At least they have the coffee brewed for me when I wake up. Getting myself a cup, taking in the rich aroma, I grab one of my kid sister's little toy tea cups I had started to keep near the machine since my guests arrived. Shrike instantly jumped down and was practically bouncing when I poured a bit of coffee into it, sitting it down before getting another and pouring another cup, handing it to him. He says he comes with me for "recon". I know he only comes because he loves the coffee.

I can't help but smirk everytime I see this grizzled, rough faced, rather badass looking killer drinking out of a bright pink cup with yellow flowers he has to hold with two hands to sip. I've wanted to take a picture for almost a week now. Only the thought of him trying to gouge out my eyes with those claws of his in my sleep stop me.

Taking a sip of my own cup, I look over and, sure enough, Macha is sitting their, holding the second cup and sipping it. I have literally no idea where she or the rest of the "Eldar" are staying. Everytime I think I get close, I only find an empty spot on the floor, completly free of dust. But she always just .... "poofs" out of nowhere when I'm not looking. I think she stopped off in Japan before she came here.

Looking over at the Tau Crisis Suits pouring cereal into a bowel for me, struggling to lift it up, I couldn't help but think they did to.

"Mad ninja skills you get there Macha."

Macha smiled up at me, taking another dainty sip from the steaming cup, black hair drapped down to her back. "Why thank you Mon-keigh. I will take that as a compliment."

I still had no idea what Mon-keigh meant, but I always got they impression it was an insult. Still, I think she had that attitude with everyone. Besides, she was the reason I had figured out as much as I did about everyone else. Shrike has his own opinions of course, but his sounded like half propoganda to me. Macha, she was candid about everyone's pro's and con's, including her own.

Picking them both up, I sat them down on the only empty spot at the kitchen table, going back and getting the food the Tau had made me, thanking them before sitting down, looking at the two. Shrike, as always, was switching between shooting glares at Macha and taking long sips of his coffee, a ghost of a smile crossing his lips. Macha, on the other hand, seemed quite content, ignoring Shrike and sipping her own coffee, though wincing from time to time at the taste. Probably to strong for her, but I liked it that way. It cleared the cobwebs out of my head.

Infact, something I noticed about Macha was, besides the Orks (Who I was 95% certain were to stupid to care), was the only one who didn't seem troubled or concerned by this change or by being in a home with everything super size. If anything, she seemed quite happy with this.

Taking a bite of my ceral, I decided it was time to finally bridge that subject with her. "So Macha, ... how come your so happy?"

Stupid, blunt, but I wanted an answer damnit. And Macha smiled, as if she had expected nothing less. "Because Mon-Keigh, I don't have to guide my people's path anymore. I can no longer control them. It is in your hands now."

Frowning, I took another bite of cereal, pointing the spoon at the pint sized woman. "You said that the first day. What exactly are you talking about?"

Again, she smiled enigmatically, sitting the large (in her hands) cup. "It is my duty to guide my people down the path of fate, to see what the future holds and guide it to protect our people. But no longer is it in my hands anymore. It is in yours. All of our paths, our futures are." That enigmatic smile grew. "It is terrifying, yes .... but there is something .... liberating about it. The mantle of Farseer does not way as heavily upon me."

A scowl tugged at my lips, my head shaking. "Now hang on, I'm not doing anything but letting you all sleep around the house. I'm not "leading" or "guiding" anyone."

Shaking her head, Macha slowly stood, dusting off her robes. "That is because you don't have the eyes to see Mon-Keigh."

Sighing in annoyance, I took another bite of my cereal, chewing loudly as I glared a hole into the table. Somehow, despite being an inch high, that chick ALWAYS made me feel like she was really in charge.

I hadn't even finished my cereal before the first crisis of the day broke out, Bandit running in with a band of orcs clinging to his fur. Apparently, the greenies thought he was "the bosses bestest squiq" and fell in love with him. And once they stopped trying to shoot at him, Bandit seemed to enjoy giving them rides. But now the little bastards where yelling, whooping, shooting their little pop gun pistols into the air, and I knew they did something stupid again.

Reaching out, I grabbed Bandit's color, stopping the speeding malamute as I looked down at the Orks clinging to his fur. "What did you idiots do now?"

One of the orcs grinned up at me with a broken toothed grin, a metal plate hammered over his right eye (apparently you should NEVER see an Ork doctor as I had begun to learn). "Oy boss! We got one of dem dakka boxes from da humie gits!"

Now, one could never claim to understand an Ork, but you could pick out about every third word or so. Often, that was enough. "Dakka boxes? You mean you stole one of the guard's tanks?"

The orc grinned even bigger. "OY! Dat's wut I said boss! Wez gonna fix er up, make er nice un Orky!"

Sighing in frustration, I stood up, dragging Bandit by the collar. "Goddamnit, I told you no more looting!"

I could feel Macha and Shrike grabbing onto my shirt for a ride as I went off to the guest room. These little bastards were going to blow up my house, I knew it.

And why the hell did it feel like Macha was smiling at me?