Everybody needs inspiration,
Everybody needs a song
A beautiful melody
When the nights so long
Cause there is no guarantee
That this life is easy...
Yea when my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I, I...
I look at you
When the waves
Are flooding the shore and I can't
Find my way home anymore
That's when I, I...
I look at you
When I look At You I see forgiveness
I see the truth
You love me for who I am
Like the stars Hold the moon
Right there where they belong
And I Know I'm Not Alone.
Yea when my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I, I...
I look at you
Miley Cyrus - When I Look At You
Hey everybody! i really hope that you enjoy this chapter. Please remember that what Bella told Alice, that isn't the reason behind Bella's Leaving Edward. That is to come. xxxxx
I really enjoy reading your reviews! Please tell everyone one about this story! xxx
The pain is killing me, Renee this is your entire fault.
My eyes open and my head is in between Esme's legs, pain shot through my stomach through to my back. In that point in time it didn't matter. My hands shot to my baby knowing what was happening. He was on his way.
"It's okay Bella where almost there" Esme comforted me.
It didn't matter she wasn't Edward. The one I wanted and needed.
My breaths came deeper as I felt a gush of water come out of me. We were close but not close enough.
"Eww" I heard Emmett in the back seat. I blocked the rest out. They say babies don't care what time it is they just come. Yeah mines coming 2 weeks earlier. Dad and mum must have known he was ready to come into the world.
The pain of child birth is like walking through fire. Constant pain until the finally run. The push, that last push it's hard, you hit the wall a long time ago and you can't pass until the finally push. The fucking last push, all because we don't use protection. Edward fucking Cullen. Next time I see him I'm going to shoot him down.
"HURRY THE FUCK UP... I'M IN PAIN" I scream at Carlisle. His arms flinch forward, I feel sorry for him but then the baby kicks my gut.
Someone's phone rings in the back.
"It's Edward" Emmett bellows out.
"Hello..."
"AHHHHHHHHH" I cut him off when another contraction ripples through my body. "Hurry up Carlisle, can't you go any faster. Sorry if you haven't noticed but I am going into labour. God why is ever Cullen male a douche?" Esme and Alice laugh. Esme rubs a figure 8 around my eyes. She does this to every one of us girls in pain and it seems to work.
"Calm down fucker... no... Fuck she's fine... god calm down... no I don't think she wants to talk to you... well because she's right now in pain... god do you ever . Shut. The. Fuck. Up? Oh fine ... Bella if you want to say..."
"OH FUCK OFF EMMETT! Oh and you Edward Cullen, you are never, ever having sex with me again oh and make that every other women again. You've put me through this four times. YOU ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE! YOUR MINE!!!!!" I hear Alice squeal in the back ground and the car stop.
Someone opened the door and at this moment in time I really couldn't care. Hands grabbed mine and helped me up. There he was. The one I wanted all this time. My tears falling down my face. Pain shooting through me, my dress completely soaked.
"Baby" he opened his arms, I started to sob as I fell into his arms
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have listened to her. No please take me back, please say yes... please" he held on to me so tight I thought he would squeeze him out
"Fuck, god help please it hurts" Edward quickly let me go "god he's coming like right now".
The nurse was behind Edward waiting for me with the wheelchair. The boys quickly help me into it and we rushed to the front desk which they shot me to the nearest room.
"Fuck hurry up it's coming now, I can feel it" my midwife rushed into the room.
"Bella, how are we doing? Hmm, best get this kid out shall we? Hmm is that Edward I see?" Edward walks over to Kate and hugs her.
"Kate I've missed you" my god this is not a time for a reunion.
"HE'S COMING!!!!" I screamed out to them and the quickly fell into the sink that were all use to.
Kate checked me out and saw that my baby boy was fine and I was 9 centimetres dilated, I was close and by the time they got all set up and ready for me I would be ready. This would have to be the fastest delivery that I would have had. Sophie was 4 Hours, Mayella 10 long hours and Renesme 15. I like this baby. He's fast which means less pain. Hopefully
"Okay Bella this is it, baby Cullen wants to come out, so you have to push at the next contraction" Kate was now putting my feet into the stirrups at the end of the bed. Right at this moment I just wanted this child out.
"Argggggg" I quickly breathed out because the next contraction was coming. My hands were flying everywhere trying to find Edward's
"Fucking hell Edward grab my hand" his quickly found mine. The baby was about to come out but then I remembered something.
'okay Bella you need to push, and then the shoulders will be out" I shook my head.
"Come on Bella you can do it" Edward tried to help me along.
"no, I am not pushing until you say you want me back, until you say you still love me" my hands grabbed his face and brought it millimetres away from mine.
"The way I still love you!" I breathed out and he breathed in. I felt good just to say it. His hands grabbed mine and pulled them down from his face. He didn't say anything. I started to cry, not because right now my child was trying to push itself out of my vagina because I just lost Edward.
I turned away from him and looked at Kate. I felt Edward next to me. Breathing against my ear.
"I still love you baby, I'm yours" he whispered into my ear. I pushed once he had finished talking, it was painful and I had to keep pushing so his shoulders were out.
"That's it Bella, keep going "I leant forward and pushed harder. Kate started to pull and it felt like everything came out of me at one. The feeling of being light, being free. Nurses started to rush around, I didn't understand. I couldn't hear my baby scream. Kate has told me before, that doesn't always happen but this, this didn't feel right. I grabbed on to Edward and he onto me.
"Hang on guys; he's rapped himself around his umbilical cord. We just need to cut it." Edward looked over when she cut it. But still no cries. Kate quickly sent him off to the awaiting nurses. They started to put things into his mouth. I looked at Kate asking why with me eyes.
"Sometimes Bella the baby's airways get some parts of the placenta in them making it hard to breathe then in return wail."
But it still didn't calm me down. All my babies are wailers why not this one. My first boy could die.
"Baby he won't die" Edward reasurged me but how did he know?
"Bella I think you saying what you're thinking. He won't die"
After a few squeezes from the thing in his mouth. He started to scream. I let the breath that I was holding out.
"Give him to me please" I held my hand outs waiting for my baby boy. I started to squirm when they were taking their time. "I said give him to me" Edward started to laugh but soon stoped when I glared at him.
The nurses wrapped him up and I was getting angry. They soon brought him over to me and the troubles left me because now I was whole. My baby was in my arms.
"He has blue eyes" Edward pointed out.
"Well I can assure that I didn't sleep around... I'm not Tanya" I pointed out.
How dare he insinuate that I had slept with another man, and even if I had we weren't together. Fury ripped through me as he started to pace.
"I didn't insinuate that Bella I was just pointing out." Edward hand swiped across my check.
"Um, babies' eyes are blue when their born, they'll change over time. I thought I told you that last time?" Kate nudged Edward.
The tears in my eyes had finally found the way down my face. My baby is finally in my arms; Edward well is ... god I don't know. It'd hard. My life is hard. I don't even know if where back together. I need him.
"Alright it's time to get this baby to our nursery and for you to deliver the placenta" Kate then took the baby out of my hands and Edward left with him.
My eyes flutter open and I see a bright white room. I close my eyes again fast and I hear someone turn the lights off and open the blinds.
"There you go love" I open my eyes and see Edward in front of me. And I start to cry again. I curl up into a ball and I feel him crawl in next to me. I latched onto him and kept crying. He shouldn't take me back; I shouldn't have left him those years ago.
"Baby, tell me what's wrong" he gently moved my face to see his.
I was too ashamed to talk. All the pain in the past two years, it was all my fault. I couldn't breathe. Edward kept brushing my tears away. His eyes help love. I didn't deserve love. I deserved hate, him not coming back to me.
"I don't deserve you." I stated and started to crawl out of his hold.
"Hey, hey, hey. What are you talking about?"
"I left you and...And...And... Oh god I took your children away. I took everything away that you loved from you. I'm stupid. You shouldn't want me. No... No... No you don't belong to me anymore. No your Tanya's. God I've lost everything." I rubbed my face into his shirt. Trying to wipe away tears and snot.
"Thanks by the way.... now I don't belong to Tanya. I belong to myself and I decide who I want. Yes you did leave me and I'm not sure why but all I want is my family back, that includes you Bella. I love you. I need you, you are my life now and always will be." I hugged him back hard.
"I...I...I love you to-o" we both feel asleep. Together. Finally in each other's arms.
When the waves
Are flooding the shore and I can't
Find my way home anymore
That's when I, I...
I look at you
You appear just like a dream to me
Just like Kaleidoscope colors that
Cover Me, All I need every
Breath that I breathe don't you know
You're beautiful...
Yea Yea Yea
When the waves
Are flooding the shore and I can't
Find my way home anymore
That's when I, I...
I look at you
I look at you
Yea Yea Oh OH OH
And you appear Just like a dream
To me.