Slippery Soap Suds
A/N: Where are all the HP fanfic readers? Are they hiding under tons and tons of exam review sheets like me for the last few weeks? Whatever, what's done is done. ) Exams are over and the 2nd sem is just around the corner. EDIT: Well lookie here, I actually graduated high school! And here I still am! Here's another much delayed chapter for you guys. Lol actually, mostly for my writing pleasure.
Disclaimer: Me no own the whole HP world (J.K. Rowling). And The Chauffeur is owned by Deftones, not me. I was thinking of the Deftones version, not the Duran Duran one. So shut it with all the suing crap.
Chapter XII: Archer Inn
Archer Inn.
Since 1527
Draco Malfoy stood before the immense castle-like Archer Inn, breathing in the soul of a centuries-old structure. He had been here before. For the record, he comes here at least once a year. Just for unwinding.
Located on top of Mount Pleasant, isolated from civilization, Archer Inn somehow reminded him of Malfoy Manor. Without the "Malfoy" part.
Still, it was a great place for vacation… hiking, camping, swimming in the lake just near the inn, spending time with yourself and the peace and quiet, free from the deluge of pressure and all that.
Usually come Christmas, the Malfoys would travel to some other place, celebrating the holidays with other Malfoys. Sometimes, the other Malfoys came to their place. Some Blacks came, too. Christmas would always be stick-to-the-Purebloods time, and how he hated those family gatherings! Lucius introducing him to Uncle This Uncle That, bragging about how a fine young lad his boy would come to be, while Narcissa keeps on nodding and smiling and saying "Oh, yes!" every time. Fine fucking lad I turned out to be, he thought.
And then, just like that, he thought of the Mudblood. Granger.
He would have been married to her right now. Strange how the thought of her didn't repulse him so. A month ago, he would have whipped himself for even thinking of her. It confused him how much she had affected him. How for the past few days, they had spent so much time without even planning whatsoever. Confused him and mixed him all up. How he almost – almost gone too far.
And this time, he didn't hate her for it. He hated himself for almost feeling.
What would have happened? He was curious, but not curious enough to wish things had been different. The present is good as it is. No more wedding. No more Granger.
--
Home. Ain't no better place than where I'd spent half my life in. Happy. Family. Together.
Here comes Hermione Granger…a pretty little package all the way from school, beaming with joy as she greets her Mum and Dad with hugs. Hellos and How've-you-beens were exchanged. How was school? Great! But I missed you. More hugs. Merry Christmas to you and you and you.
So glad to be home. School was tough and rough but made it through somehow. I'm halfway to the end. No need to rush. Harry and Ron send their regards. Aw, that's nice. Your dad and I sent them gifts, by the way. You didn't! We did. That's really nice, Mum, Dad.
Then, in the midst of the perfect family's perfect conversation, Dad asked, "You didn't tell us what happened on your dance, sweetheart."
Mum nodded. "Yes, you couldn't stop talking about it last summer! And who was your partner? Was it that Harry boy? Have you got any pictures? C'mon!"
Hermione's mouth went dry. What could I possibly say to them? It was horrible! I wore a slutty-looking dress and I ended up with Draco Malfoy, who, I'm sorry I forgot to tell you, could have been my husband now because we were both caught in the tub making out, until Dumbledore changed his mind. Oh, by the way, Harry and I are not talking because he saw me in a broom closet hugging Draco Malfoy (again). "It was…okay."
"Hmm… not the dream dance you thought it would be, eh? That's all right, dear." Mum and Dad's smiles were so open and concerned Hermione would have spilled them everything right then and there. Control, Hermione, she said to herself.
"Cheer up, sweetie!" Dad said, noticing her sudden change in emotion. "You're just in time for the big surprise!" Always the joker, Dad never failed to make her smile. Or something close to a smile, at the least.
"Dad… It wouldn't be a surprise if you tell me it's a surprise."
Dad laughed. "Okay, fine! I slipped. I was just so excited I couldn't control myself!"
"Oh well," Mom started. "Since the surprise is out anyway, better tell you now, eh?"
"I don't need surprises… It's not like you have to give me gifts all the time, you know."
"But we wanted to," Dad insisted. "Now shut up or we won't give you the surprise anymore."
"Dad!" Hermione pouted. Whether one denies it or not, everybody loves surprises.
Mum and Dad smiled at her. Their little baby was really growing up now. Growing up the right way, hopefully.
"So what's the surprise?" asked Hermione.
Hermione's parents laughed. Just laughed.
"C'mon! The thrill is killing me!"
"Okay okay..." It was mum who couldn't hold it any longer. "Well, ever since we discovered you had magic in you, well, it's definitely changed our lives. In the sense that it made you realize who you really are, and for us, we saw the world in a whole new perspective now. We know how important magic is to you and we just wanted you to continue being happy. So, we got you... a 4-day vacation at Archer Inn, free of everything!"
What. The. Where in heavens is Armor Inn whatever?
"What do you think? It took us a really long time to find the perfect vacation spot for you," Mum was talking. "I mean, we hardly knew any place in the wizarding world, except for Hogwarts and Platform 3/4."
Oh. It was an inn in the wizarding world.
"...And then by luck, we met someone who was actually a witch! We knew by the barely-noticeable Hogwarts crest on her son's tee, and she told us where we could bring you," Mum continued ranting. "It's supposedly one of those 'posh' establishments. She even helped us convert our money into gallons - "
"Galleons," Dad corrected her. He turned to the stunned Hermione. "So Archer Inn it is! Gemini said it's got everything, since they've got those special rooms where you can magically turn into any kind you like. You're gonna love it there! So what do you think?"
What did I think... Weren't they thinking about how I don't want to spend the holiday there? How I'm fed up with all that hocus pocus and just want to live the Muggle life, just for a moment? A sweet short moment? With them?
"Aren't you guys coming with me?"
"No no no! You enjoy yourself! This is like Senior year in High school for you, being in your last year and all. Plus, we're still gonna be working, especially since we already took our break last month. So you have to go for some unwinding."
Right now, the last place for my unwinding is not in the Wizarding World. Yet they were so happy. I couldn't possibly shatter their bliss, could I? I mean, this is a gift! You couldn't return a gift. It would be fucking impolite.
"Hermione?"
"You…" Hermione's voice was barely a whisper. She faked a smile. "I was so surprised. I didn't know what to say… Thanks, Mum, Dad…" She wondered how many more lies it would take to send her to Azkaban.
--
Hermione left on the 27th. It had taken her more than willpower to stand up, pack her bags and leave the Muggle world.
Her parents were fussier than ever, repeating the number of Gemini (the witch they'd met), reminding her again and again to write, checking and rechecking her reservations, almost to the extent of pushing her out of their door.
This was not how Hermione had imagined her break would be like. She had been thinking turkeys, gifts, puddings, snapdragons. She had wanted to go shopping with her mum in Fooming's, and go fishing with Dad and go pigging out with Granny, especially since she hadn't spent Christmas Eve with them. As far as her great brain could remember, going to some other place far away from home, I mean, in another world, was not part of her schedule. But here she was, pulling on a bulging suitcase, trying to hail a cab.
Hermione bit her lip as she got in the car, clutching her handcarry 'til her knuckles went white.
"To the train station please… No need to hurry. I have all the time."
--
736 Archer Inn East, Miss Hermione Granger
Hermione read the inscription on the keychain and sighed. Five days in this friggin' hellhole… Oh well, have to live with that. Hermione stepped inside the elevator and pressed 7. Without realizing it, she began to think of Malfoy; and she blushed, trying to change her thoughts. But still, she kept on thinking of him! Letting her thoughts flow, she replayed the winter ball, the kiss, Dumbledore's office (for their "wedding"), the broom closet, Harry's hurt and doubting voice…
"Yes, Harry. In the broom closet, with Malfoy."
In a swift motion, Draco and Hermione untangled themselves from their "embrace". Neither knew what to say in this most awkward of moments.
"Thank you, Harry. You've been a great help," Dumbledore said to the stunned Gryffindor.
"But, w – " Harry started, demanding an explanation.
"You may return to your dormitory." Dumbledore said in a way that really meant, 'Run along now, you are not needed.' He faced the other two. "As for you two, come, follow me."
Hermione couldn't look at Harry, and she just passed him as if he was never there, standing in the corridor with slumped shoulders and unreadable face only Hermione could see – hurt.
It was a long awkward walk to the chapel. Draco and Hermione, about three feet away from each other, Dumbledore walking ahead. When they reached an empty corridor on the second floor, Dumbledore stopped in his tracks and began to laugh. Eerily, even for the sense of elves, but a laugh nonetheless.
"What's so funny?" Draco barked, annoyed at the sudden change of mood.
There were tears of mirth in Dumbledore's eyes when he turned to them. It was like seeing Santa Claus choking on his saliva in a sadistic streak of happiness.
"Professor, I don't understand…" Hermione, as smart as she claimed, was confused as hell too.
"You two! Ahahahaha!" Dumbledore was uncontrollable. He was just chortling and guffawing to his merry death. "What were you doing? In a broom closet! Haha!"
Draco was way past pissed off now. "Okay! First of all, I honestly don't understand what the bloody hell is so funny about this. Just so you know, we were in the broom closet, thinking of how to run away! So stop laughing because this isn't a funny matter for us."
By this time, Dumbledore's fit had subsided and he was studying the two with amused eyes. The situations they get into! "I knew you were running away or something to that idea. Snape had told me something was fishy between you two. Oh, by the way, Miss Granger, you honestly hurt his feelings when you said he 'dressed in emo-drag'; whatever emo means, he surely knew the meaning of drag." Hermione reddened, remembering her outburst.
"Anyway," Dumbledore drawled on. "I knew you weren't the best of friends but I didn't know you hated each other so much you'd rather run away than face the marriage and work things out. I guess your fight is deeper than I had imagined… But a broom closet! Seriously!"
This time it was Draco's turn to go red. "Well, if it weren't for Snape, we would have found a more decent and spacious place to talk."
Dumbledore laughed again. "You kids! You're gonna kill me!" He sighed. "If you had followed my instructions and went straight to the chapel, you would've discovered that there really was no marriage."
The hall was dead silent. You know those western cowboy movies where it shows an abandoned town and all you could hear was the rustle of hanging carcass and dead grass? Exactly like that.
"Why…didn't…you…tell us earlier!?" Hermione sounded like she could slit Dumbledore's throat and sell his head for fifty galleons. "Do you know how much we've gone through?!"
"Did you seriously think that I could let two teenagers jump onto the married life bandwagon just like that?" was Dumbledore's reply.
"Holy balls of Merlin!" Malfoy exclaimed, excited, angry, frustrated, relieved all at the same time. "All that for nothing!"
Dumbledore snorted. "What nothing? What you did was still inappropriate behaviour, and both of you aren't getting away easy. You, meaning both of you, will have to serve detention after Christmas break."
"Why did you make up this marriage?" Hermione asked darkly.
"I don't really know myself. I guess we'll know soon enough," Dumbledore said with a secret smile, which really meant, 'Of course I know but why should I tell you?'
"But why did you have to get Harry involved?" Hermione shouted, in the brink of tears.
"Seeing me like that, and, and… You don't know how much he means to me."
"I didn't get him involved, Miss Granger," Dumbledore said calmly. "I merely asked for his help in finding you. How was I to know you were in the broom closet with Mister Malfoy here?"
"But – "
"And," Dumbledore interrupted a hurricane coming from the girl. "You don't know how much you mean to others, other than Harry."
"Like she'd actually mean something to others!" Draco muttered loudly.
Hermione ignored him and turned to the Headmaster. "What do you – "
"I said, you'll know soon enough." Dumbledore smiled at them. "Happy holidays to you both!" And then, he was gone.
"Weh… he didn't even bother to answer MY questions!" Draco whined. "That old git's such a Gryffindor fan!"
"Shut up, you sore eye," Hermione said through gritted teeth. Then, she calmed down remembering the fact that they were both free of each other. It brought a sense of relief and something else she couldn't explain and would dare not acknowledge.
"Hey, as long as things are back to normal, I don't care if my presence makes you cry blood," Draco retorted, the smugness coming back. "Isn't that what you wanted too? You…nerd!"
Hermione sighed and grinned at Malfoy's poor attempt at mocking her in the Muggle way. "Well then, I'll tell you what I want…" She faced him, looking straight into those grey orbs, which sometimes turn a beautiful dark shade of emerald blue when the sun hits him just right.
"Ehrm…" Unlike Hermione, Draco was very aware of the very little distance between them, and he was very distracted by it. Hermione placed her hands on Draco's shoulders. It was by impulse – fuckin' bloody hormones – which caused Draco's heart to beat faster.
"Draco Malfoy," she slowly leaned towards him, and Draco's mind had completely stopped working. He could hear Hermione's breathing and feel the calm beating of her heart, contrary to the furious tribal dance of his, pounding, waiting for something.
"Merry Christmas, Malfoy." She said softly and kissed him on his ear, and then walked away. Her words were scorching hot on his sensitive lobe, not because he was physically attracted to this Mudblood but because she said it with the sincerity of a final goodbye.
"Wha- What was that for?" Draco was almost afraid to ask.
Hermione turned back to face him and gave him a nonchalant smile. "I don't know what you really want. All I want is Harry back. I… honestly… don't want you." Draco thought he saw a fleeting hint of sadness pass by those brown eyes and he thought he felt his heart wince at her words. But it was just a thought and nothing more…
"736 Archer Inn East, Hermione Granger, Vandamme Box." Hermione woke herself up from her reverie. She didn't even notice that she was standing in front of her room, staring at the knob for Merlin knows how long. In an instant, the door opened and she entered the room.
She surveyed the room. It wasn't very much, considering the staff knew of her ancestry, but it was decent enough. She threw her stuff on the floor and plopped herself on the bed. She sighed. All I want now is to clear my head and start over. Hermione Granger thought her mind would finally stop thinking once sleep has found her. Of course not.
Out on the tar plains the glides are moving
All looking for a new place to drive
"Harry." Hermione called the boy sitting on the bench with his back to her. She had spent the whole day trying to look for him. She had asked Ron for help and he went to Hogsmeade, saying he'd look for Harry there. He hasn't returned since then, and she suddenly realized that the git obviously knew where Harry was and didn't tell her. It only dawned to her much later that the most probable place Harry would be was the Quidditch field.
"Harry, hey." She called out again but he wouldn't look at her. It broke her heart to see him like this. Especially when he was thinking of things that weren't even true. Yet, she couldn't blame him for what his own eyes saw.
You sit beside me so newly charming
Sweating dew drops glisten fresh in your side
Hermione walked towards Harry and sat next to him. She looked at him but he wouldn't even spare her a glance. There was no expression on the face of the Wonder Boy. It gave her goosebumps how ordinary he looked this way. He seemed so vulnerable and weak. So she looked away and stared at the star-speckled sky.
The sun drips down bedding heavy behind
The front of your dress all shadowy lined
"I'm sorry for not telling you about this," she started talking to the vast blackness. "Malfoy and I were engaged to be… married." Her voice was cracking as she tried to explain. "It wasn't on purpose. The whole thing was an accident from the beginning. I know I should've told you guys, but I was too stubborn. I thought I could help myself, until the whole thing just blew out of proportion." Hermione sighed. "Malfoy and I weren't in Potions class, there was no explosion, we were in the washroom, but – "
"I don't want to hear it."
Hermione's mouth went dry and she could feel the tears starting to spill. Now, she felt so weak. Just six words from Harry and she almost lost it. She didn't imagine how six words would make her feel this way.
And the droning engine throbs in time
With your beating heart
"I don't want to hear you talking about Malfoy and nothing but Malfoy." Harry finally spoke, but with the seriousness of a wizard in duel. Hermione looked at him with hope. She thought… "Somehow, I knew something like this was happening ever since we sneaked out to The Three Broomsticks," he continued, still not looking at her. "Yet, I blinded myself because you said it wasn't like that. But I could see it. A little something, like a glance at the Slytherin table or a smirk from that smug little ferret. Whether this is all real or not, it still… hurt." Harry had said that last word in Hermione's face and the truth was there, evident in those tears that had so carelessly run down his cheeks.
"I'm sorry… I'm sorry, Harry." Hermione couldn't help herself, and she started crying too.
Sing blue silver
The two of them just stayed that way, crying in front of each other, until the hiccupping had grown worse and Hermione almost choked on her saliva. She muttered a spell to get rid of their hiccups, and a fast one to clean their faces up. She glimpsed at him, too embarrassed to look straight in the eye. "I'm sorry, Harry. I should have told you. It's all right now though. It's already been settled. Things are back to normal."
The sides of Harry's mouth curled up for just a second. "It doesn't matter."
And watch as lovers part I feel you smiling
What glass splinters lie so deep in your mind
Harry stayed quiet then, just staring painfully at Hermione. There was just something about this girl that he couldn't shake off his skin. Maybe it's her hair, or her eyes, or her brain, or the quirky way she smiled when she felt overly proud of herself, or the very sensitive heart she has for other creatures, or how she has always been there by his side. If only he could stop time at this very second and make Hermione stay that way – focusing only on him.
But that couldn't be because even if he tried to stop it, even if he could control Hermione right now in her most vulnerable of states, even if he knew she was crying for him, he knew it wasn't only him. There was somebody else in her head, and Harry Potter didn't like to share. Much more with Draco Malfoy.
"I really like you, Hermione," Harry said softly, closing the gap between himself and Hermione. They were so near, so close, yet so far, and Hermione's breath had already stopped. Harry moved even closer so that their noses were touching. "Do you know what time it is?"
"No, why?"
"It's a minute to midnight, and I'm wishing," wishing that you would come back to me.
Their faces were only a kiss away from each other's, when Harry killed the moment by whispering, "So please, go away."
Hermione couldn't say anything. It felt like her mouth had been stitched and she could still feel the needle as it threaded her mouth close. She felt as if a latch hook had unraveled the pattern of her heart, scratching roughly at first as it tried to work the threads loose, until the intricate design unstitched itself smoothly into fluffs of fibre and wisps of broken string.
"Then, I hope you have a merry Christmas." Hermione stiffly stood up and left the boy by himself, without so much as a glance goodbye.
To tear out from your eyes with a word to stiffen brooding lies
But I'll only watch you leave me further behind
--
"How many days are you planning to stay, Malfoy?" Blaise Zabini asked as they walked to their suite.
"Probably a week… depending on the situation," Malfoy replied nonchalantly. "And depending on my mood, I guess," he added.
"1525 Archer Inn South Gardens, Zabini, Truffles," Zabini said and opened the door. The suite smelled of ancient scrolls, oak and Vaseline. But it didn't matter. Blaise went directly to the bar to get himself some Firewhiskey. "Help yourself, eh!" He shouted.
Draco walked towards the room on the right. He took off his shirt and was about to jump in when he noticed it. "Oh…no."
In horror, he ran outside and checked the other rooms – dining room, kitchen, bathroom, telly room, bathroom 2… He rushed back to the bedroom, and his stomach felt queasy at the sight.
"ZABINI!" Malfoy hollered. "Zabini! Come here!"
Groaning, Blaise joined Draco, a half-empty bottle in his hand. "Now what?"
"Look!" Malfoy half-screamed, pointing. "Look at that!"
Zabini turned his head to where Draco was pointing. "What?" He asked, irritated, but then he blushed at the view.
There, on the far corner of the room lay a velvet-covered vibrating water lovebed with pink aphrodisiac-infused sheets.
"Okay," Blaise's voice drawled. "So you just move to the other room… I'll sleep here."
"There is no other room."
"What!?"
"You got us a bloody honeymoon suite, you oaf!" Malfoy exclaimed in rage and sheer embarrassment.
"Honeymoon suite…?"
Draco closed his eyes, trying to block out the uncontrollable flood of images of him and Zabini together in, uh, Brokeback ways.
"Oh, shoot!" Zabini spat. For an Italian Slytherin, he sure was slow. "Sorry, Malfoy! I didn't know! I'll just get us another room…"
"No!" Malfoy shouted, wanting to chop Zabini into pieces. "You will sleep on the couch for the next hundred days until I leave!"
"But, Malfoy!" Zabini started to protest.
"That's what you get for trying your faggot moves on me!" Draco threatened, went in the room and let the vibrating bed lull him to sleep.
--
"And then you just wait for things to heat up…just continue to push and push and push!"
Hermione's eyes widened. "And then it will spurt hot white milk?"
The man laughed and winked at her. "Yep! Only 2 galleons flat for you, sweetie!"
Hermione blushed. "Why, thank you!" She gave him the money and the salesman handed her the Cow-Pumper. Granny would love this, she thought. It's much better than asking Tom to pump the animals in their farm in Winchester.
She looked around. What else? There were so many shops in the Archer Inn Complex and she had bought everyone in (and out) the family at least one souvenir. A teapot who'd wail if it's boiling for Mom, a Forever Burning Pipe for Dad, a box of Chocolate Frogs Deluxe Edition for Ron, a Harajuku doll for Ginny…and a miniature Quidditch field for Harry. She still bought him a gift, even if she wasn't sure she would actually give it to him. She was even thinking of buying him Illuminators, those new glasses which would turn to shades when out in the sun and back to ordinary transparent ones when inside.
No… I've bought too much… Hermione hesitated, pushing thoughts of Harry to the back of her mind. And now that I think about it… Her stomach growled. A bowl of fresh salad wouldn't hurt.
Juggling a hundred bags in her arms, she started to dash to the nearest resto.
"Granger?" A voice called her.
That voice sounds awfully familiar. She slowed down, looking back. Zabini! She covered her face with a bag and walked faster. Must get away!
"Granger!" Footsteps following.
"What the hell is he doing here?" Hermione grumbled, trying to escape from Blaise while trying to avoid slamming against people. "I've had enough Slytherin encounters for half the year… And why is he following me? Oops. Sorry. What a fucker! Sorry, excuse me! What a complete id – aarggghh!!"
Hermione tripped and fell face flat on the cold marble floor. She groaned, trying to stand up and get her bags. She looked at her left shoe which felt awkward. The heel broke! She groaned deeper. Just my luck!
Completely oblivious of the disapproving looks of the other shoppers (most likely Pureblood socialites on vacation), Hermione crawled to retrieve her stuff – the teapot, the doll, the chocolates, the quidditch field, the pi – wait. "The quidditch field!" She shrieked, looking around. "Oh no, oh no, oh no!"
"I believe this is yours." The bag bearing the Q: For All Your Quidditch Needs logo dangled over her face. Hermione sighed in relief, and reached for the bag. "Thank you very – Malfoy?"
Draco's face scrunched. "As much as I want my name to be remembered in history, I'm not dead excited about it being part of English vocabulary. It sounds awfully awkward for people to tell each other 'thank you very malfoy'. It just doesn't seem right. Don't you think so, Granger?"
Out of all the places, she thought the last person she'd see in Archer Inn was this very one right in front of her. The one reason why she was presently not very fond of the Wizarding World was this animal right here. It seemed like the more she ran away, the more he got closer and closer. Just when she thought everything was back on track, the incidents suddenly turned around in a mockery of their temporary bliss. Maybe life was a bitch because she was definitely teasing Hermione in the smuttiest of ways; and the witch knew however bad this striptease was, she'd still have to pay for it.
--
A/N: LMFAO at this chapter! XD So much metaphors and fukkin drama! Oops pardon my French As you probably know by now, my inspiration for this chapter was Deftones' The Chauffeur, which is so damn freaking sexxxay! Not to mention, I have been suffering LSS (Last Song Syndrome) for the last 3 days OO Aright, back to the story! Don't you think Harry being a selfish little tease fits him so well? Will Draco's hormones ever calm down? Is Hermione taking drugs? Is Blaise Zabini gay?! What sexy things will happen in Archer Inn?! Stay tuned to Slippery Soap Suds Chapter 13! :P Will I ever stop these shameless plugs!? LOL