Chapter 7: The Return of Spottedleaf
Hmm... I don't have anything to say right now... -twiddles thumbs- Awkward... I guess I'll just go ahead and respond to the reviews.
Twilightwing: yes, Chuck Norris definitely owns and pwns all.
Chaoth: Thanks for reviewing. I won't be stopping anytime soon unless people stop reviewing or I don't think that people like it. (-glares at non-reviewers- Let this be a warning)
So... um... still got nothing to say...
Disclaimer: I don't own warriors, Erin Hunter does. However, Chuck Norris owns them and everything else.
On with the randomness
Bloodstar woke up by the moon pool. With a happy smile, he stood and looked around for Jaypaw. The sky was growing lighter with the approaching dawn, and the stars were disappearing rapidly. Jaypaw was nowhere in sight. Bloodstar was about to go searching, when he noticed that he was not alone. Across the moon pool, sleeping soundly, was none other than Spottedleaf. Bloodstar's grin widened. This was going to be very interesting. Bloodstar walked over to where the tortoiseshell slept, and stared down at her menacingly.
"Bloodstar?"
Bloodstar turned his head to see Jaypaw walking down the slope to the moon pool, carrying a rabbit in his jaws.
"Good morning Jaypaw." Bloodstar greeted.
"I brought you some fresh kill." Jaypaw set the rabbit at his feet. The second his set the rabbit down, Spottedleaf's sent hit his nose.
"What the.. is that..." He sniffed the sleeping she cat carefully, then froze, his sightless eyes stetched wide in disbelief.
"Bloodstar, i-is that Spottedleaf? Here?"
"Yes, yes it is."
Jaypaw stoodthere, frozen for several seconds, letting the information sink in. Finally, realization must have reached his brain because he yowled loud enough to wake the dead -and waking the tortoiseshell in the process- (A/n: No pun intended there).
"HOLY CRAP IT'S SPOTTEDLEAF!" The medicine cat apprentice stood shaking in disbelief.
"Huh? What?" Spottedleaf asked, waking up. She looked around the moon pool in confusion. "Where am I? Where's the rest of Starclan. I died again didn't I? Wait a second... you're here..." She said, looking at Jaypaw and Bloodstar. "Oh crap! They sent me to the other place!"
"Hey!" Jaypaw protested.
"No offense kid, but you're messed up. Seriously, you have issues. And you, Bloodstar, wasn't it? Don't get me started."
"Bloodstar, um, not to be disrespectful or anything -since you're my hero and all- but, um WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO WHILE I WAS GONE?"
Bloodstar grinned impishly. "Oh, well, Starclan was being unreasonable like you suggested they'd be, so I had to be... persuasive."
Spottedleaf burst out laughing. "PERSUASIVE! Ha!You killed me four freakin' times just to make a point! Not that it mattered, you still wouldn't have been given your nine lives if not for Chuck Norris."
"Oh, believe me, it wouldn't have taken much longer. Starclan is just lucky that they came to their senses before I had to move to plan B."
"And what would that be?"
"Believe me when I say that you do not want to know. Now, come on, let's get back to camp. I have some ceremonies to attend to."
Bloodstar stood and started to walk up the slope.
"Wait! Aren't you like, you know, gonna kill me again so that I can get back to Starclan?" Spottedleaf asked, beginning to panic.
"You would like that wouldn't you? No, I don't think I will. Now come on, Thunderclan is this way."
Spottedleaf gaped at the Thunderclan leader.
"B-But, I hate Thunderclan! Really, with a passion! I can't it's just not right. I don't want to go back to being a medicine cat anyway!" Spottedleaf protested.
Bloodstar stopped and looked at the distressed she-cat. "You just don't want to go back to Thunderclan because you don't want to face Firefart." Jaypaw cracked up at the mention of Firestar's new name.
"Firefart?" Spottedleaf was confused.
"I got bored at the naming ceremony."
"You can't do that!" The cats were now walking in the direction of the camp, Spottedleaf trailing behind.
"Firefart did it himself when he was leader. Just ask Berrynose or Ashfur, they know first hand. Me and my siblings were even given such a name, though ours sounded much better."
"But, you're not warriors, what do you mean you were given odd warrior names?"
"Firefart told us during the WOW era that we could be warriors when we reached level seventy on World of Warcraft, because he never thought that we would actually make it that far since we were kits at the time, but we did, so he made us warriors until Leafpool got back and had to go and change everything. That really sucked."
"Okay, but it still wasn't nice."
"Who said I was nice?"
"Touche."
"Oh, and Spottedleaf." Bloodstar said.
"What?"
"We're here."
Spottedleaf looked up to see that they were standing in front of a large thorn barrier that led into the Thunderclan camp.
"Crap!" She spat.
Bloodstar led the way into the Thunderclan camp, ignoring the many stares of the Thunderclan warriors when they saw Spottedleaf. Firefart, who was sitting on a rock sunning himself, looked over to see what all of the commotion was about and nearly had a heart attack. He stared at the beautiful tortoiseshell in disbelief, then in one mighty leap, was by their side, staring at her in awe.
"Sp-sp-spottedleaf?" He stuttered. The annoyed she cat nodded her head in recognition, recoiling from the sight of the familiar tom.
"Hello Firefart, it has been a long time." She forced the words out of her mouth. Oh crap, now this freaking idiot is going to be drooling over me for the rest of my second life, however long that may be.
Firefart didn't move he just stood there, looking at his lost love.
"Um, Firefart?" Spottedleaf asked, starting to worry about him.
Firefart started foaming at the mouth and fell over, overcome with happiness.
"Okay, I'm calling a meeting." Bloodstar said, uninterested.
"What about Firefart? Shouldn't we do something?"
"Nah, Leafpool can get around to it later, unless you want to Spottedleaf."
"Um, heck no!"
"That's what I thought."
Bloodstar leaped onto the highledge, and summoned the cats below.
"Every cat with in hearing range get your butts out here NOW!" He shouted. The Thunderclan and Bloodclan warriors gathered beneath the highledge to listen to their leader.
"Good, now, as you have noticed, I now have my nine lives and shall be supreme ruler until the end of time. Now, as you notice now, I have brought someone back with me from Starclan, everyone welcome back Spottedleaf!"
The Thunderclan cats stared at the Starclan cat in disbelief. Leafpool fainted, and Sandstorm hissed and stomped out of camp in fury.
"Now, since we already have two medicine cats, Spottedleaf shall train as a warrior."
"WHAT!"Spottedleaf yowled in shock.
"You said on your way here that you didn't want to be medicine cat, well, you got your wish. See, I can be nice!"
Firefart leaped up from the ground suddenly, hearing that last announcement, and ran and sat all too close to Spottedleaf, them hugged her tightly and hissed at all of the surrounding toms, warning them to back off.
"I hate you so much!" Spottedleaf hissed at Bloodstar.
"Join the club sweetie, now on with the announcements. It is time for seven of our apprentices to become warriors. Nightpaw, Shadowpaw, Lionpaw, Jaypaw, Cinderpaw, Foxpaw, and Icepaw, come on down."
"Hey! What about me?" Hollypaw asked.
"Hollypaw, you are an annoying freak that's obsessed with the warrior code, therefore, I can't make you a warrior."
Hollypaw opened her mouth to say something, but Spottedleaf beat her to it.
"But Bloodstar, medicine cats are named by there mentors, and besides, these apprentices are nowhere near being ready to be warriors."
"Yeah! And if my brothers get named, I should get named too!" Hollypaw yowled defiantly.
"Excuse me, are you the leader Spottedleaf? No, I thought not. Hollypaw, if you really want a name change, get your butt up here."
Hollypaw smiled in satisfaction and walked over to join her sibnlings.
"Okay, now, I'm gonna skip most of the extra junk and just tell you your new names since frankly, I'm tired and could care less about the other parts. Nightpaw, your warrior name is Nightshade, Shadowpaw, your warrior name in Shadowstep (A/n: Bloodstar decided to keep Shadpaw's warrior name from the WOW era since it is beastly.) and name you deputy of Thunderclan and Bloodclan. Lionpaw, your warrior name is Lionclaw, Cinderpaw, your name is Cinderheart, Foxpaw, your name is Foxtail, Icepaw, your name is Icefang, Hollypaw, you are demoted to a kit and your name is now Hollykit."
"WHAT!"
"You said that you wanted a name change."
"Thats not what I meant-"
"Okay on with the ceremonies. Jaypaw, your medicine cat name is... is... Jayclaw."
"Sweetness!" Jayclaw said.
"But, that's not a medicine cat name!" Spottedleaf protested.
"No, but it's beastly. You have any better ideas?"
"Why not Jayfeather?"
"No, that would be too much like in the actual Warriors books." Cloudtail pointed out.
"What books?" Brambleclaw asked.
"You know, the Warriors series, the reason for our existence."
"What the heck are you talking about Cloudtail?"
"Well, somewhere in the world right now, three people who call themselves Erin Hunter are controlling our very lives and recording them in a famous book series. Except for you three," He pointed to Bloodstar, who was looking extremely nervous, Nightshade, and Shadowstep, "You guys are controlled by some random person in the USA who created you when she was on sugar high."
"That's stupid, right Bloodstar?" Lionclaw asked.
"Uh, yeah, sure," Bloodstar was definitely nervous. "Guards, take care of the heretic!"
At their leader's order, five Bloodclan warriors jumped on Cloudtail and started ripping him to shreds.
"I will not be silenced!" was all he could say before he fainted from blood loss.
Sort of a random place to end the chapter. Oh well. Poor Cloudtail... He just knew too much. R&R. Go on, press that little button. Stop reading this Author's note and go review. If you are still reading this, you are obviously not reviewing, so I must say, What the heck is wrong with you people? Go freaking review my story!