Previously on A Rose By Any Other Name:-- Hands steepled over her nose and mouth Vala sobbed, tears running at full blast. She couldn't move. He was here. Her Daniel was here!
Putting Rose down, Daniel cocked his head indicating for everyone to clear out. They scampered away quickly. Daniel closed and locked the door and Vala was still frozen to her spot as he slowly approached her.
In the kitchen, Danny searched for food, "We're in trouble."
Jake pouted miserably. "Big trouble.
Drake turned to Ian for confirmation. "Like killin' big trouble?"
"Oh yeah, big trouble, right Eli?" Ian crossed his arms and leaned against the counter.
"Yeah, sureyabetcha we are. Honkin' big trouble. We're dead."
Rose stood in the middle of the kitchen grinning from ear to ear, "Can I have a peanut butter, jelly and ice cream samich?"
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Chapter Five: A Rose with Thorn
"Where are you going?"
Vala sprang from the bed avoiding his attempt to catch her.
"I'm checking on the children Daniel, you've had me locked in this room for hours! I have to be sure that Sam's brainiac 'Chucky' hasn't got some Naquadah powered reactor hooked up to the oven," Vala straightened her tousled hair as she approached the door, "and to insure that Mitchell's two Einstein's haven't reprogrammed the vacuum cleaner to suck us all into a black hole. Then, darling, I have to see that our own devil spawned -you not me- hoodlums haven't turned into flesh eating robots! And poor little Rose," she cried out in earnest, "she's been out there for hours with the technobabbled, child Master Minds from hell! They probably have her internal organs replaced with motorcycle parts by now!"
"You going out there like that?" Sitting up, Daniel placed his hands behind his head and grinned wickedly.
Looking down Vala bit at the side of her lip as one eye squinted up at him. She grimaced, marched across the other side of the room, opened a bureau drawer, snatched out one of his many black T-shirts, slipped it over her head and shimmied into a pair of his boxers. "There, be right back."
"C'mere."
"Daniel, you're insatiable! I'm exhausted! I'm starving, I'm eating for two now, I need substance! Besides, I HAVE to see about Rose."
"Jack and Sam will be here in an hour to pick up the whole lot of them, until then the boys will take care of Rose. Come. Here." He held up an Air Force issue power bar.
Vala's grin rivaled his and she leapt onto the bed.
xxxxxx
"I think I've eradicated all the evidence. They'll never be able to prove it! Well, hopefully…I think I might have overwritten one of mom's programs, maybe not." Eli O'Neill was bobbing his head up and down in an effort to assure himself he had indeed completed his task correctly.
Behind him Danny and Jake exchanged worried looks with Ian and Drake Mitchell. None of them had heard a peep out of a parent, except when Cam had called to check in with his two boys on returning and Sam called with a quick hello to Eli. But no one had scolded them, threatened them, or yelled at them. Odd.
Perched high atop the back of the coach, tiara affixed perfectly in the midst of her dark peanut butter smeared hair, Little Rose aimed her game control towards the TV monitor across the room. With a chocolate crusted lip caught in a gesture of concentration between her tiny teeth and eyebrows furrowed in 'Vala' fashion, she slaughtered the last of Drake's alien invaders so fast that he jumped up with a loud yelp and a "Holy Crap!"
"What!?" The other four boys said in unison and turned as one to see what could possibly be wrong.
"Darlin' killed me! They're all dead, the planet is captured, the fleet is destroyed, the Ogre beheaded- she…" he jabbed a pointed finger towards a giggling Rose, "she's made it to the end. Nobody makes it to the end!"
The five of them stood around the couch in a semicircle and stared disbelievingly at the little fairy that, with wings drooping and dress stained in a variety of food and drink, grinned triumphantly.
"Well it had to be an accident!" Danny insisted.
"Nuh uh. Mommie showeded me and I 'membered." Rose raised her chin defiantly. Tossing the control onto the couch, she jumped down, bounced a few times playfully on the cushions and bounded to the floor. "I'm hungy!"
Looking around the room at the litter of empty plates and bowls, crumpled snack packages and half full sippy cups the boys seemed astonished.
"Darling, my mom said don't eat too much, they're taking us all out to eat. We'll get you something then." Eli patted her head, then stepped back wide eyed as she opened her mouth and wailed in earsplitting tear producing horror.
Vala appeared almost instantaneously, wrapped in Daniel's robe, hair disarrayed wildly, and looking like a zombie from some monster flick.
Rose spotted her target, dropped to the floor and turned it up a notch.
Daniel, having taken a moment to get into pajama bottoms and a T-shirt, emerged from the bedroom obviously disgruntled. "Hey! You guys are in enough trouble, what have you done to Rose?"
Amidst the crying and screaming, Rose began to kick and though seemingly impossible - got louder, "Dahlin'!" She corrected, gasping for air.
Daniel, the more indulgent of the parents started for her, but Vala, having surveyed the evidence of debris in the room, grabbed his waistband and stopped him.
"Darling, that's enough." Vala then scowled at Danny, then Jake and finally turned her scolding countenance on the other three. "You should know better than to feed her junk!"
Rose might have been considered a baby by her parents, but the toddler knew that tone all to well and she sat up hiccupping and drying her tears. After all she'd accomplished what she wanted, getting her parents attention, so she managed an innocent smile. Eyes darting from one parent to another, the little scamp simply and sweetly said, "Daddy."
The five boys – each in their own way – rolled their eyes and shook their heads. Eli turned back to the computer and took a seat mumbling under his breath, "ever consider an online parenting class?"
Daniel was too occupied comforting his little darling, but Vala turned to Eli, "What did you say?"
With a well practiced, wide eyed, innocent 'Samantha Carter' look Eli shrugged his shoulders.
Hands on hips, Vala started to press for an answer when the doorbell rang. "Humph! Now we'll see about parenting!"
Eli O'Neill's face went from "Samantha Carter' innocent to 'Jack O'Neill' doomed confusion.
xxxxxx
Jack had Rose settled on his hip, intermittently hazarding a glance at the peanut butter and chocolate mess that she was, as he barked out orders to the boys to gather their belongings for the trip to the cabin. "Come on. Lots to do. We have to meet Ishta and T at the base to pick up little Thorn and Bray."
"Yea! Bray! Yes! Yippee! Sweet!" The boys chorused excitedly.
"You're taking ALL of them! Maybe Rose should stay here with us, she's so young. I think I should keep her here, besides she needs a bath." Vala's uneasiness was apparent in her voice.
"Teal'c and Ishta are staying with us, no need to worry. Ishta and I can watch Thorn and Rose, Jack and Teal'c can handle the boys." With a meaningful glower at the boys, Sam continued, "they have plans for them."
Every set of male eyes under the age of thirty closed in dread. Sam gathered the boys like a sheep dog, herding them up and scurrying them out the door. Laughing she turned to Vala. "Stop worrying, you need a break. The second story's finished on the cabin, there's lots of room. Cam and Carolyn won't be coming up, but you two will be there the day after tomorrow, so all will be well. We've been planning this for months."
As the troop loaded up into the multi-passenger van Sam had 'borrowed' from the base, Vala turned to Daniel, "I think we should go on up with them."
"They'll be fine. Don't worry. This is probably the only break we're gonna get before the baby's born." He kissed her nose and shut the front door. "Nothing to worry about."
xxxxxx
Ten tiny fingers covered her pink bow shaped mouth. "Uh oh…you broke-ed it." Both Rose and Thorn looked at the remote control, eyes wide and serious, then as one, turned their heads towards the kitchen and then slowly back to face each other.
Thorn, looking as solemn as his oldest brother Ry'ac, tucked the contraption in his tunic and Rose nodded. The three year olds, who shared the same birthday, quietly tiptoed out of the room.
Softly, one small foot at a time, both with a finger of silence across their lips, they moved up the staircase. Finger firmly affixed to his lips Thorn whispered, "No pwobum, EliO'Neill can fixer upperer!"
"Humph!" Rose rolled her eyes, her mouth finger pressing hard in instruction to be quiet.
An eyebrow rose, "Darling?"
On the landing Rose turned and stomped a foot, "Dang it Thown, be shhhh."
"Mummie will be dispeased."
"Uncle Jack will take us on da tour of da woods with the boys." Rose raised one brow, dropped the other, eye squinting with a twitch…conveying to her companion just how much they did not want to be a part of that.
Like any smart Jaffa confronted with such Mal Doran wisdom he nodded in compliance. Better to face the stern parental disappointment from Teal'c and Ishta then to face Uncle Jack in the woods.
"Rose!?" Sam yelled.
"Thorn?" Ishta called.
"What!" they both answered as one.
"Get washed up for dinner." Auntie Sam called back. Sam looked at Ishta, "Sometimes I think those two were born in the same pod."
It took Ishta a moment to assimilate the meaning, but finally she nodded with a smile.
xxxxxx
Rushing down the stairs as fast as short cubby legs allowed Rose and Thorn headed towards the back deck. Thorn took a detour, dropping the 'fixed' remote into the couch cushions, then joined his comrade at the door.
Both Teal'c and Jack did a double take and surprised look at Rose and Thorn. "Well, Darling, I guess I've never seen that before. But it sure looks cute. Auntie Sam get those for you?"
"Nope."
"Hmm, Daniel? Because we sure know Vala didn't get them."
"Nope."
"I made them, do they displease you O'Neill?" Ishta asked quietly.
"Hell no! Don't think I've ever seen fairy wings coming out the back of itsy bitsy Camo BDU's but it works for me."
"I thought it would be best to save her … other clothing, they did not seem to be suited to this environment. However, I did have to make an adjustment for the wings, I had not considered their importance at the time I fashioned the clothing."
"Good job, Ishta, they are both adorable," then with a grin Jack added, "No wings for Thorn?"
"I suggested horns, however Ishta did not find it particularly amusing," Teal'c smiled, tugging at Thorn's BDU waistband to straighten the pants. Then Teal'c did a very human gesture, patted his son's six affectionately and sent him in the direction Rose had just scampered.
With hands clasped behind his back and brow raised Teal'c turned to Jack. "I believe, O'Neill, we have a project to complete."
"That we do T. That we do." Jack planted a quick, well aimed kiss on Sam's lips. "We're takin' the yellow brick road."
"Where are the boys?" Both Ishta and Sam asked with concern.
Jack pointed out the window, past the two toddlers on the deck who were emulating gun play with sticks aimed at the row of six who stood in a firing squad line near the forest across the yard. Eli stood slouching bravely, Bray let his arms hang at his sides and stared ahead as if Kel'no'reeming, he had nothing to worry about, surely they had no idea he'd participated by supplying Eli with the programming language, Danny and Jake both had their heads down and hands in their pockets, Ian's arms were crossed, hands tucked under his armpits and Drake was grinning, anticipating the so called 'punishment' adventure that Uncle Jack would cook up.
Ishta took Teal'c's arm with just a glimmer of alarm in her eyes. "Husband, what do you plan?"
"A Tau'ri tradition – Snipe Hunting." Although Teal'c's features remained stoic, his eyes were bright with a mischievous grin.
A snort of laughter escaped Sam, "Oh no… you're going to lose them in the woods. Jack, really, not a good plan. They're children!"
"O'Neill has implanted a tracking device in each of their shirt collars. We will be able to know where they are at all times."
Unimpressed, Sam's brows drew together, "Jaaack?"
Jack O'Neill, with innocent expression and twinkling eyes, called over his shoulder as he and Teal'c headed for the enemy line. "We're off to see the wizard!"
"Samantha?" Ishta asked as the two women stood looking at their spouses retreating backs. "I am worried."
xxxxxx
An hour later, having instructed the doomed in proper Snipe hunting and having led them far into the National Forest surrounding his cabin, Jack and Teal'c returned.
After grabbing a cold beer, snatching up Rose to sit on his lap, and easily finding the remote, Jack turned on the TV to watch his much anticipated favorite team's latest hockey game. The Cartoon network popped up and Rose giggled at the scene, but Jack quickly hit the button for the game station and the scene switched for less than a second as the Cartoon network reappeared. Rose giggled again, and Thorn clapped his hands gleefully.
Confused, Jack glared at the remote, cut his eyes perplexed to Teal'c and then back to the TV. Once again, very carefully and very slowly he punched in the channel numbers. Thorn laughed happily as Rose squealed in delight at the antics of the cartoon characters who, once again, appeared in a flash. As if possessed, Jack's head spun around to Teal'c, "What the…"
xxxxxx
Vala packed. Vala cried. Vala pleaded. And Vala called Cam stating her concerns as Daniel stood, head down and hands in his pockets, defeated.
Cam laughed uncontrollably, and so loudly Daniel could hear him easily from beside Vala. "It's not like the General's gonna use 'the Omega 13' on them! Gez, Vala, why don't you just go…poor Jackson won't be gettin' any peace – no pun intended princess – if you don't get up there soon!"
With a gasp, Vala slammed the phone down and turned to Daniel, eyes wild.
"Vala! Please stop worrying, you'll make yourself sick. We'll go! We may as well, Mitchell's right…in both respects."
xxxxxx
"Nothing." Bray mumbled disheartened when he returned from his recon of the surrounding woods with no news. He folded his legs under and sat. The evening was clear and crisp and the night birds and insects chirped all around the group of six. .
"We've been duped!" Eli tossed little rocks into the darkness. "But, I swear, the minute the stars get just right, I'll be able to find my hide out, nobody else knows it exists."
"I'm starvin'." Arms folded tight across his chest, Ian leaned against a tree.
"Me too!" Jake piped in miserably from his position flat out on the ground, his hands laced behind his head.
"We're the proverbial Lost Boys! They did it on purpose!" Daniel stared up at the stars frowning. "They figured," he paused to scratch at the irritating collar of his shirt, "they'd show us who's smart and who's in charge."
Drake grinned continuing to rub the stick between his palms against the one on the ground. "I like it. Alone in the woods. I've read all the files…well all the ones Dad let me… we're like SG-1! Stranded off world! Fending for ourselves. And I can guarantee ya, they have some way of knowing exactly where we are."
The other boys considered his words and nodded as their mood lightened up considerably.
Danny felt something hard in the material of his shirt collar. Pulling the neckline out he tried to see it, cutting his eyes are far as he could, "Hey, Eli, look at this will ya?"
Eli, his small keychain penlight in hand examined Danny's collar. "Something is in there." Letting go, Eli searched his own collar where it had been irritating him all afternoon. Quickly he unbuttoned the shirt and snatched it off. "Well I'll be… yep, they're tracking us." He picked at the threads of his collar and pulled the tiny chip out shinning the pin light on it. Looking up, he stood, moved forward and studied the stars. "I got MRE's and water at my hide out. I got a plan!"